The word edge can be misinterpreted as having different meanings. You can say that someone has an “Edgy” personality or “an Edge about him.”

To be clear, that’s not what the interpretation I am talking about. What I mean by an Edge, is an ADVANTAGE. For some guys, that is just the mere fact that they are blessed with physical good looks. They’re cool social people and their looks give them that extra advantage.

Having an extraordinary and engaging personality can serve as that advantage. Being a sharp or sloppy dresser is irrelevant to the advantage. For some guys, their edge is their social position or power position.

Heck, some guys run, (what are essentially,) scams. In LA, I’ve seen guys pretend to be fashion photographers and have seen it to the extent of they creating a phony photo studio to lure women in. It may not even be considered ethical but it’s an advantage they have created for themselves.

It’s important that guys reading the article realize that the edge is a distinct advantage that can give you a leg up on the competition. That advantage falls into the 3 categories mentioned in the post.

You ought to diversify. Listen, I know guys who are fanatics about Martial Arts . (To be honest, I love watching Mixed Martial Arts as well.) I know guys who are fanatics about football or even Pro-wrestling. Yes, we are talking about Professional wrestling, Hulk Hogan and co. (and whoever the new guys are these days.)

Many times, the girls they date longterm tend to start getting into the Football or MMA, and such. (Not always, but often times, it happens.) However, you ought to diversify your interests a little bit to start out with, to be able to talk about various things.

Bars and clubs are optional places to go, not a necessity. You can also enjoy playing Guitar Hero with a girl you’re spending time with, but Video Games are not an Edge.

The article describes 3 categories of edges:

*Physical,
*Personality Driven,
*Lifestyle driven

Having a hobby of video games is fun but it does NOT fall into any of those 3 categories.

You said you travel a lot for work. Surely, you have lots of experiences from traverling, everything from cultural differences of various cities, to fun things to do, to adventures and experiences of traveling. There is lots to talk about. You said you have a quirky personality with dry sense of humor. PERSONALITY can be an edge, and is, for a lot of people.

Videogames as an interest is fine, but if it’s the ONLY sources of interest, then it’s limiting oneself. Just as if a mountain climber’s only interest was mountain climbing, that’d be pretty limiting as well.

I like a guy who is a really decent, down-to-earth person (the kind of guy who treats everyone well) and who also has — like you say — a bit of an edge.

I have seen this edge come in so many different packages. Some guys are sharp dressers, some are slobby dressers. Some have tattoos, some are clean cut. Some are wealthy, some are living out of a suitcase because they want to be unencumbered.

What separates the boring guys from the fun guys is the confidence to color outside the lines a little bit, to be playful, and to be in tune with what’s going on around them. Aliveness.

You’re right though that without an edge of some kind, a guy is not very interesting.

- Erika

In a nutshell:
You’re a very smart dude. That can be attractive in the long-term attraction, relationships, friendships and etc.

Because you’re very intelligent, you’ll be able to grasp social nuances rather quickly. One of the biggest hindrances in this area is lack of social intelligence. All your life, you have focused on the analytical mathematical skills. Now, with turn your focus to the social arena, and you’ll grasp things quickly.

The other skill you ought to work on is conversational skills of making dialogue with strangers, basically. I am sure you are able to do this
with long time friends. Now, the trick is to create the dynamic with a complete stranger inside a few minutes and be engaging in a way that they are enjoying the conversation.

In approaching a new person, you have to learn to flip the attraction switches EMOTIONALLY. I highly recommend you get a copy of my audio product ASAP. It’s over 10 hours of audio where I specifically explain this process in detail. After listening to it, I think you’ll have gained a whole new level of understanding. Making it a point to learn these skills somewhere.

Should you opt for the CD, listen to the whole thing, but especially focus on the following:

Chapter 4 (Abstract attributes, as well as physical ones,)
Chapter 6: Calibration (Social intelligence)
Chapter 7: Story Telling (listen to this a FEW times)
Chapter 9, Solid Game
Chapter 10, conversational skills,

The issue is that normally guys are strictly analytical don’t project a lot of emotion and that is one of the source of what stifles their success. It doesn’t mean you have to become an extraverted social butterfly, but a bit work on expressing yourself will make a world of difference.

Learn to turn being smart into an advantage. First, however, you have to learn when to tone down the analysis a bit. Your first instinct is to solve problems. People are not looking for solutions all the time when making conversation. Sometimes it’s just to share a certain sentiment or emotion, be it someone talking about their recent vacation or the upcoming Basketball Playoff game involving their favorite them.

Take care
Cameron

I have a great job that I enjoy and pays well (but unfortunately doesn’t offer much of a social life during the week because of the travelling I need to do). I’ve been going to the gym 2-3 times a week for the last year and gotten stronger. My career’s together, I’m not in debt and am doing financially just fine. I have enough money to spend on the things I like without worrying too much.

I’ve got a really dry sense of humour and what some would say is a quirky personality. Thing is, if I had to say what my edge was, what I was really passionate about, it’s video games. Not playing them non-stop, but making them and knowing the history of them, how they work, how they influence our culture, what their own culture is like. I love video games in the same way that a film buff loves films, or an art buff loves paintings and given the chance I can talk about them in the same way :)

Yet I get told over and over again that this isn’t “cool enough”, that I need to develop other interests, that “women don’t like computer games” or “I stopped playing games xx nights and went to clubs and now I have girls” bla bla bla. Thing is, when I’m at a party getting into Guitar Hero (love wailing on those drums – I used to play for real), everyone is having fun and I usually find it way easier to talk to women that are there. Always fun discovering the few closet female gamers around :) I don’t really like nightclubs, being fairly night-blind doesn’t help so I tend to avoid them these days. I’d much rather a house party or a barbecue.

But yeah I guess what I’m asking, do you have any tips for how I could cultivate this edge?

Afte reading my own comment, I think I can answer it myself “don’t give a fuck if people think you’re cool or not”. But yeah interested to hear your thoughts.

I’m very intelligent, in an intellectual, analytical way (I have a math degree from oxford). Most of my friends would say i’m the cleverest person they know. But I don’t think this is something that appeals to most women at all. I’ve had one girl I’ve since become good friends with tell me she was a bit intimidated when she first met me, and didn’t know what to say to me because she’d heard that I was a “genius”. So while this might help me with the most intelligent women, I feel as if it’s (if anything) a hindrance with most women I meet.

I’m also a pretty good listener. This has helped me form some strong friendships, and is something my close firends (both male and female) appreciate, but I feel as if, to attract women, I probably need to spend more time talking as opposed to listening.

So the things I feel are my personal strengths I also feel are holding me back more than they help me with women, and I’m not sure what (if anything) to do about it