Just to be clear, I’m not really “practicing” compliment openers anymore. I do it to girls that I really find beautiful/cute/attractive and my genuine intention is really to get to know them. But yes, it might be the case that in those more quiet locations I’m nervous and they sense this, making the interaction bad.

I don’t know if this is just my impression or if it’s for real. But I do have the impression that the degree of directness that is appropriate also depends on the country. I’ve had many great reactions in East Europe and France in being direct. Here in the Netherlands I do get more of the “deer in the headlights” looks and girls remain nervous for a longer time. Since my confidence still has ups and downs I can’t really be sure if I’m the one causing this or if it’s the local culture.

Cameron — I’m loving your blog and reading all your articles. Very happy I found it!

How often do you encounter girls when there is complete silence? In my experience, there is usually, some ambient noise. Just lower your voice a bit to make it casual.

Even if you’re in a absolute quiet place where you can hear a pin drop, you can do your approach. Switch it up. Don’t be so direct if it feels uncomfortable to you. Start engaging her in dialogue about something interesting. That’s how you get around that.

As for the compliments, what Mark said, is pretty accurate.

And it is uncomfortable for the girl to be put on the spot like that – center of everyone’s attention, and “possibly” having every move and reaction of hers to you and your approach judged by everyone in the place. Not cool.

Hell, just put yourself in the same situation – a girl walks up to you in a crowded restaurant, demands everyone’s attention and then asks you how many girls have you slept with, as in to challenge you, while everyone else hears it too. Unless you’ve got balls of steel to stand up to her and throw that question back to her in a fun, flirty manner, and unless you’ve got decent experience with women, you will blush and get nervous. And what will come out of you will be totally off from what you’d like to come out of you, no matter how hard you try ;)

Coming back to you there – as far as giving compliments to girls, I have a feeling they get creeped out and nervous because you are nervous yourself when delivering it. Hell, I’ll go as far as assuming that you’re really not that committed to delivering a genuine compliment to a girl who might have something totally cute about her that caught your attention and might be doing it for the sole purpose of “practicing” compliment openers (which will work against you – come on, you really think women are that naive and dumb? well, the best women will see right through you before you even open your mouth, so it does pay off to go in there with genuine intentions only).

LMAO, Cameron. Now THAT, anonymous internet trolls, is actually funny.

Yeah, save your assless chaps for Burning Man…

Personally, I find the line between social events, gyms and the street or a club pretty easy to understand. The one thing where I’m still lost is on using a direct opener in places like cafes, trains, bookshops and other quiet places. I’ve tried a couple of time starting the interaction with some compliment on looks and the girls were a bit uncomfortable. Now, I don’t know if this because a few girls will be uncomfortable with that or if it’s because I get a bit nervous of doing it in such places. Do note that I get great reactions from using “direct openers” in places like clubs and bars.

My “social intelligence” tells me that it’s a bit uncomfortable for the girl to know that everyone is overhearing a conversation in which a guy is blatantly hitting on her and so she can’t be that receptive because she’s afraid people will think she’s “easy”.

Care to share your opinion? :)