I’ve a question for you Cameron. I’m really confused as to what flirting is. Is it being playful? But my experience, by being playful, you don’t get sincere girls. You only get the girls who are out to have fun.

And this is what a girl said to me once,”women love to be flattered, they love to feel special when they are flirted with. but that doesn’t make her to feel like you are boyfriend material.she is just having fun.”

this is true, i think. flirting brings in the sexual vibe. flirting challenges the women. flirting creates attraction, interest. but it’s the emotional connection, the rapport that ultimately makes her fall in love with you. the real you, your persona, your character is going to keep her.

and, FLIRTING should be sprinkled in, or the girl is never going to take you seriously again.

The Croatian guy you speak of, has some good things to teach. It’s the other Croatian guy who concerns me with all of the “Alpha” b.s.

The audio CDs do sell a little bit that fantasy, though he never really says that if you do the opener correctly the woman will fall for you. But my experience is that properly executed direct openers, in the right circumstances, do generate a powerful reaction from women.

I used the “I like you” opener many times and it worked well for me. However, like Cameron I never really felt totally comfortable with it. I just liked someone’s look and body language, I didn’t really know if I liked the person.

I’ve also had some success with “funny” direct openers. Like “Do you know who you remind me of? Someone I should meet”.

I would not intervene all that much. In my experience, it’s very difficult to get people to change their habits unless THEY want to make the effort. (whether it’s quitting smoking, losing weight.)

So the best you can do is an attempt to help them see things from a different perspective. Then the person can take steps forward on their own accord.

The good thing news is that your friend is at least approaching women. The bad news is it’s not going anywhere, and he is not learning from his interactions.

If I were, I’d probably tell him that it’s good that he has chosen a style he is comfortable with (Which is direct.) But then, if you’re going to do something, anything, then make sure you do it the best you can.

Then I’d tell him to read this current Blog Series on the Direct-Approaching. Most importantly, I’d have him read Part 6 to begin with: How to execute a direct-opener.

Then after part 6, have him read part 2. (On non-verbal communication.) For his particular situation, those are the most applicable posts. Hopefully, that’ll peak his curiosity to want to read more and start applying himself properly.

Take care
Cameron

ps. Would you email me the name of the seminar he took privately?
I am always curious as to what sort of B.S. people sell out there…..

I was out at a club with my girlfriend and my drinking buddy this past weekend. God bless him, because my bud was doing direct approaches on tons of women. The problem is, he doesn’t have the conversational skills or the presence or the confidence to pull it off. I told him you can’t just go up to girls and say, “You’re cute.” (Or rather, YOU can’t go up to girls and say, “You’re cute.”) His response? He changes his line to “You’re really cute.” My girlfriend has a better eye than I do, and later pointed out to me he really needs a better haircut and pants.

The problem is, my friend once paid $900 for some kind of dating or “pick-up” seminar, which he says told him everything he already knows about himself. One part involved walking down a hallway to a series of 9 different girls where they would evaluate his strengths and weaknesses. As a result, he’s reluctant to spend any more money or time on other systems.

What he’s doing isn’t working, yet he insists on doing things his way, in hopes that he will meet someone who gets him or appreciates his approach. How would you intervene?

(P.S. I’m not really going to perform an intervention, but I do want my friend to get some help so he can be happier.)

Glad it cleared away some of the confusion for ya.

And you’re right about using the material you learn to become a better person towards whom people gravitate. Look at this way: You’re already ahead of most guys in this field, including many who teach it.

Cameron

I would just add one observation I have (I am just a beginner): I’ve already achieved some success, got laid etc., but it hasn’t lasted for long. It wasn’t persistent. After relatively short time, “something went wrong” and the girl left.

Now I think I know why: after some point (having sex with her or seeing she’s really into me), I thought the “game was won” and fell back to my old habits.

So, the postulate is “If she left and you don’t know why, it’s because you’re not a MAN”. You learned this stuff and used it to get her, instead of using it to change yourself.

Thanks. I remember that post although I didn’t go anywhere as in depth in that post as I did in the past week.

As for cold-approaching, yep, you can definitely mix it up. If she is reading a book by an author you really like, you could start talking about that and then make your intentions known. It could also apply vice versa..

The “I like you” opener always seemed socially off to me. You know nothing about the person and yet you like them? Not saying it can’t work. I just never liked it.

There are better ways…..