Comments on: Understanding Why Certain Women Flake

By: Oldpuller

Oldpuller — Sat, 24 Sep 2011 06:40:13 +0000

Just read your article “The Key to Successful Relationships in Life”. I need to identify my Core Values – how can I do this?

By: Oldpuller

Oldpuller — Sat, 24 Sep 2011 06:21:48 +0000

I am an older guy, nearly 50 now, and not particularly successful, but at least I have a job . Which is more than I can say for most people in my area. Just divorced after a 20 year marriage. I have had some success with obtaining numbers and e-mail addresses using direct and indirect approach. I have also had some dates on pof. However, the flake rate is beyond belief. How can I identify my own value, select appropriate women and work to it. What I am saying is that I agree with your post, but how can I apply it specifically to my own situation?

By: Corzocl

Corzocl — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 22:39:24 +0000

Best article i have read on flaking so far!

By: Christoph

Christoph — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 05:22:26 +0000

Hey man, i liked the article. This archetype you are speaking of DOES exist, and it IS party girls. I think it has something to do with the whole drinking and smoking pot pleasure feelings. These women seek the most pleasure feelings they can get in any situation, AKA the value-takers.

One girl i knew like this, a stoner, blew me off for drugs basically. We already made plans to watch a movie at my apartment, but she blew me off and lied with a excuse having to do with her family. She later admitted it was for some other guy who had shrooms.

I know another girl who is the same way, would stand me up or whatever if it had to do with social status, drugs, beer or whatever.

By: Cameron

Cameron — Mon, 25 May 2009 19:45:59 +0000

Karl,

I sense a tiny bit of hostility man. ;-)

Make sure you don’t misconstrue the article. A certain type of woman is bound to “Flakey” but then, that’s not limited to just females.

There is a certain type of man who has the same exact behavioral pattern. It is what it is. You can try to change those particular people, or you can decide to associate with a better class of people in general.

If you’re getting stranded as often as you say, then there are things you can do to improve the situation. Remember, part of it is the nature of cold-approaching. Did you read my other article regarding “Women not being comfortable” to come meet you? That’s part of it.

The other part is that you’re not appealing to them emotionally. Attraction is an emotional process, not a logical one. You can’t “Reason” with someone to come date you.

So it’s learning to be more attractive as a man. Being angry at women is not attractive. Well, let me elaborate: You can be a douchebag and date low self-esteem women, but I am guessing those are not the ones you want.

————————————

I am guessing that you’re joking about that mail-order bride, but in case you were serious, I’d rethink it if I were you. ;-)

While I don’t have personal experience, I’ve heard enough stories. Remember oppressed women from repressed cultures may seem great on the surface, but remember that psychologically when you opress someone, she/he just learns to be more sneaky, cunning, and underhanded. I’ll leave it at that.

Man, you definitely need a consultation with me…..

By: karl

karl — Mon, 25 May 2009 16:01:28 +0000

As a great dude that rarely gets dates (and its not for not trying) I get flakes ALOT even when I do get numbers. Its to the point that if I do get a number I really wonder if the chick will show up. I have been flaked, stranded, stood-up so many times and its just not me. I have alot of friends in the same boat. Buying that Russian or Asian bride is looking like a better alternative (and actually cheaper in the long run) every day…again, great and very accurate article…thanks

By: karl

karl — Mon, 25 May 2009 15:58:14 +0000

I love that best option possible crap…its like we are shopping for a car or something. This is a very true and accurate article. Women today are so screwed up. They say they want a dependable and straightforward guy then they go and date the jerkoff and they go back to you (if you let them) and its a see-saw battle. No wonder so many guys turn into dirt bags – its the women’s flakiness that set them off….remember it was Eve who ate the apple not Adam…

By: Cameron

Cameron — Mon, 25 May 2009 03:04:37 +0000

Benedict,

Well, avoiding them is a good choice, if you like minimal drama. You can choose to deal with this type, but the key is to not care either way! (And it seems like you’ve already figured that out.)

Erika,
I think melnthos is a girl. I struck a nerve or something. On the positive side, my female readership is up. Who knows, it may be up to 5 or even 6 now! ;-)

By: Benedict M. Smith

Benedict M. Smith — Mon, 25 May 2009 02:30:23 +0000

solid post. i avoid party chicks as a general rule due to the flakiness. if one falls in my lap, or has recognized me from the different girls I’m usually with, cool, for the 15 min’s until she flakes. easy come, easy go. not worth the hassle.

By: Erika

Erika — Sun, 24 May 2009 18:47:51 +0000

lol @ melnthos’ comment — dude, seriously … where did you see anger in this article? it seemed pretty “live and let live” to me.

I have a girlfriend who is very attractive and always has tons of guys wanting to date her. What most guys don’t realize is that she tended to be just as flakey with ME as she was with guys. The same inner conflicts that make her commitment-phobic also make her tough to pin down for ANYTHING. I love her though, so I’ve invested in gently but firmly expressing my frustration about the flakiness. We’ve pretty much come to an understanding, and she keeps commitments with me now.

My point is … there is absolutely no reason to take this personally, as a guy. I’m a big fan of communication for breaking through stuff like this … there is usually some common ground that both people can be happy with, if the connection is worthwhile.