“I think you’re right about your theory there,”
Swinggcat tells me during a phone conversation several months back.
“Really? Which particular theory? What happened?” I ask him.
“Last Night I was at club ****** and ran into [very famous] PUA and his girlfriend. Started talking to them………………….. and all I can say is, I wasn’t sure at first, but you’re spot on man…….”
– Flashback to 3 days before the above conversation.
Josh [Swinggcat] and I are having a conversation about women involved within the seduction community and I tell him my theory. “Women who are fascinated by the seduction community fall into 3 categories, man. You’ll be hard pressed to find one who does not fit one of these 3 categories.”
What are the three categories? Well, let’s define whom I am talking about first. There exists a small percentage of women who are absolutely intrigued by the Seduction Community. They know the characters, and the names. They follow the plot lines and the drama, and they seem to enjoy it. Some teach, some date, and some just loiter around. They fall into the following 3 categories.
.
- Category 1: The Opportunist [AKA The Charlatan].
She has found a mean to make money from unsuspecting guys who will pay her money for dating advice. Who knows how she found the place, except that now it’s a source of income. Often times, this person is a pure charlatan looking to make money. Her advice is suspect at best and she can’t really do much for anyone, but she knows how to play the angle of “Hey, it’s a Female giving advice so it must be better” very well. In the end, she is no different than some of the boys giving dating advice. (Yep, the very same ones who couldn’t get a woman if they walked into a whorehouse with a dump truck full of gold bullions from Die Hard 3.) Though she plays the gender-card in her marketing, she is no different than other charlatan-esque dating coaches looking to make a buck. A swindler out to take cash from your wallet!
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- Category 2: The Groupie.
This is the woman who is absolutely fascinated by the pick-up scene. She can’t stop talking how great the scene is, and she can exchange trivia knowledge about its history and quote excerpt from Neal Strauss’ book. Neil’s book may look like the Bible, but this woman treats it as though it really is. Given the chance, she will sleep with any bonafied PUA. Sometimes, “Pick Up Artists” have a groupie become their girlfriend. What they don’t realize is that she is with them because of his PUA-status. She’ll very easily cheat on him sleep with another guy, so long as he has the same PUA Status. After all, this is the way of the groupie.
.
- Category 3: The Job Seeker
This is the woman who otherwise would be making 10 dollars an hour while stuck in an office somewhere. She latches on to a so-called “PUA” because it’s an opportunity to have a job and travel. She is not necessarily manipulative. She meets a guy and likes the fact that he pays for her to travel to different countries meanwhile earning better money than she would have gotten otherwise. It may be meager pay, but it beats working as a customer service rep at the AT&T cell phone company taking customer service issues from angry clients. And hey, you get the travel the world. Out of the 3 categories, this is probably the most respectable person. She is not ripping people off or conning them. Sometimes, the job seeker is simply looking for a meal ticket.
———————————————–
Hence, 99% of the time, when you see a woman deeply entrenched in the pick-up scene, she’ll fit one of the above mentioned categories, (or a combo of the two.) It’s a fascinating phenomenon that I have repeatedly observed. Granted, there may be an exception, and that’s why I gave it the 99 percent designation.
Back to Swinggcat: He meets the famous Pick Up Artist and his full fledged girlfriend. She doesn’t pay much attention to him at first, but she soon learns that he is the one and only “Swinggcat.” His character was heavily mentioned in Neil Strauss’ Book and he was the one who was often going out with Neil in the early days. Her eyes light up! She is intrigued! She knows his described role in the book better than he. She continues:
“You were so and so in the book! Before Neil moved to Hollywood, he was in Santa Monica, you were the one who was often going out with him. In the beginning chapters of the book, Neil often talks about how you………..”
Swinggcat is taken aback. The disinterested girl is now a parrot who can’t shut up. Her praise of him knows no bounds. He tells me, “Ya know, I got the feeling, she’d easily go home with me. I don’t want to cause drama, but if that dude wasn’t around, she’d go home with me in a heartbeat. Your theory is spot on.”
This second category leaves ya with mixed emotions. You take the Charlatan for what she is: A con-artist of sorts trying to make money. You take the Job Seeker as someone who is looking for gainful employment. The Groupie leaves you with mixed emotions. On one hand, you’re disgusted, and on the other, you feel bad for them. There is sympathy there. You’re disgusted because she may have had sex with someone like Neil, and you also feel bad for them. Guys who come to community get here because they need help on some level, (social skills, getting over baggage, etc), and if a woman is here, she needs that helps ten times as much as the guy.
In some ways, you think the most respectable person is the charlatan out of the 3. Then again, you wonder what it says about a group of people whose best and most respectable representative is the Charlatan???
To go one step further, what does it really say about the perception of “Pick Up Artists” when these are the type of women you draw to yourself?
I probably should mention my personal experience of direct correlation. Anytime I’ve met a girl who is worth keeping a round, she has hated the community. The more they’re “Girlfriend” material, the more they hate the seduction community. Granted, this is a small sample pool, because normally I don’t tell girls about the community. Yet, the reactions have been so traumatic that it’s something you can never forget. The scope why they’re so disgusted is outside the scope of this Blog entry. Perhaps, a good topic for another day.
What does it mean to you? Well, if you’re taking advice from such persons, then evaluate it and weigh the merit of the advice. IF you genuinely feel that it’s benefiting you, then by all means, continue.
If see a guy who wears being a “Pick Up Artist” on his sleeve and his entire social lives revolves around talking “Pick Up” and “Game,” then you ought to understand a few things about the girlfriend he is parading around. Most likely, she is somehow making money from the endeavor (Teaching workshops, assisting/traveling for free, etc,) she may be a groupie, and she very likely does not have a group of normal friends to hang with.
Common observations of a Pick Up Artist’s girlfriend that you’ll run into. You may observe a combination or all of these below (and keep in mind none of these are critical of anyone’s physical appearance):
- May not speak English very well.
- May be from a 3rd world Country.
- Seek gainful employment
- “Will teach Bootcamps for food”
- Doesn’t really have many other options,
- No circle of her own friends, (unfortunately)
- No seemingly normal circle of people to hang with
- Can discuss “Game” but can’t really discuss anything on a more global scale.
- May have heard of Barrack Obama somehow, but probably has no clue who Joe Biden is.
What if you start dating a girl who is into the Seduction-community? You’re probably screwed, as discovered one of my acquaintances…. He had ordered dating material to get help, and somehow, his girlfriend got a hold of it. She became more fascinated with it than he, and long story short (without giving out details), she slept with a bunch of PUAs and may even be assisting in teaching workshops somewhere out there…. (Actually, she is)
Henceforth, if you happen to start dating someone tomorrow, and upon seeing a copy of the “Game” on a bookshelf, she starts salivating, then you’re in trouble. It’s not that the book is evil. It’s well written and it’s entertaining. The subject matter it covers, is not appealing to a female with a normal psyche. (At least, not on the level of becoming obsessed. It’s a fun read and that’s about it.)
Anyhow, if you do get involved, do so at your own risk. Far be it from me to try to prevent you from having a happy relationship with somebody, but if she is fascinated with pickup….. let’s just say, I did caution you.
The Swinggcat incident occurred sometime around last October, and truth be told, I wrote this Blog post months ago. I just never posted it. A phone call from Sinn a short while back that started with, “I just have to say, you’re 100% correct on your theory” was a hint that perhaps it’s time for this post to actually be printed. It was a sign from the Dating Gods…..
It’s almost like you have to add this to the door test from Sunny in “A Bronx Tale.” It’s almost safe to add the “The Game by Neil Strauss” test.
“Listen to me kid. If she read that book or other related works from ‘Pick Up Artists’, and she thought it was cool or fascinating, you dump her, and you dump her fast! Get rid of her.”
Immortalized words of Sonny live on.
Awesome post…
I totally second this test, anything more than ” that was an entertaining book” re the game is a dealbreaker.
S
I think if you made some adjustments you could also say these three categories are also pretty good descriptor of the types of GUYS in the community. At least the ones who stay in it for any greath length of time.
It’s an eccentric little subculture. I’ll admit, I get a vicarious thrill from peeking my head in and keeping up on what the kids are doing, but on the whole, I’m glad I got out when I did.
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Cameron, some of us just find human nature and relationship dynamics absolutely fascinating and don’t fit any of the items on your checklist. Some of us could make a LOT more money doing other things. Some of us (or perhaps I should only speak for myself) really do believe there is a life-serving, people-serving side of all this stuff.
Then again, a few years ago before I knew anything about the community, if I had come across articles entitled “Harem Management” and describing hundreds of one night stands by saying and doing very particular things to evoke an emotional response in a woman and get her into bed, I probably would have been horrified … fortunately I had a gentler introduction to the community …
I would think that there are some people, and subcommunities around them, within the “community” that a significant amount of normal women wouldn’t hate.
I see a pattern. They tend to give advice under their real name and have a pretty healthy and balanced view of sex and relationships. They’re not the most famous ones, they don’t generally have “followers” and they tend not to show up so much in the media, especially under a critical light.
BTW, it would be great to see your thoughts on why the seduction community in general is so repulsive for women!
I’ve often wondered about that and I believe that in the answer lies something that tells men a lot about women.
I haven’t seen any exceptions to these 3 categories yet…Glad you are finally getting this out there.
@erika
by gentle introduction you mean the hookup with entropy or with hypnotica?
in my eyes there are even some trainwrecks who fit into all 3 categories at the same time.
There are def some 3 for 1 categories my friend…
I’m sure EVERYONE can figure out who they are.
S
Some of the women you meet are a amalgamation of the above. There are a lot of women in the community teaching workshops/Bootcamps and such. (By “A lot” I mean, more than 10. lol)
The issue is that the community, while it DOES help guys gain some skills, also teaches a poor view of women and society in general. It’s an unhealthy robotic outlook on people in general, and more specifically women.
Now, if a woman is attracted to this environment, what does it say about her? You do the math.
More so, MEN who come into the community, the 10% of so who do improve, follow a certain path:
-Learn social skills,
-Improve social intelligence,
-Realize that they have self esteem issues that they must address.
Women who find their way here have even lower self-esteem than the men. That does not make them “Bad people.” Instead of addressing their issues, they get involved with “Game.”
Cameron, I agree that a woman who chooses to embrace the ways of the community are probably women with very little self-esteem. I do have to agree with other commenters that the social dynamics are absolutely fascinating.
I had a terrible introduction to the community by finding out a FB was in it, but I’ve since become interested in the self-improvement of men, and the link between gender roles, feminism and the brotherhood this community forms.
@ Emrose
Brotherhood????
Have you not noticed that 90% of the people in this hate each other and or half the gurus out here?
Where is this brotherhood?
And does a normal healthy person want to be brothers with some of the guys in this?
S
@Sinn
I agree wholeheartedly that no normal healthy person would want to be brothers with guys who have been or are active in the community. There’s a very socially Darwinistic attitude among guys in this: you are either prey or predator, i.e. you either get ripped off by guys who pretend to be gurus or you pretend to be a guru to rip off other guys.
As soon as I discovered that 90% of guys in this are not about getting laid with girls, I distanced myself from all this.
More simplistically, guys in this don’t really know the meaning of friendship, that’s how they end up in this community to find “wings” in “lairs.” Girls who don’t find this whole notion creepy are also sociopaths.
@Sinn
It seems like the guys hate each other, but they work on teams. A team of like two or three guys against another team of two or three guys. Like cavemen.
I’d like to ask Emrose, with all due respect, how many gurus/PUA/MPUAs/RPUAs, and general sargers at large have you hooked up with?
@Erika – congratulations, you have managed to successfully integrate yourself into all 3 of the categories Cameron spelled out. And the most beautiful thing of all is you are too arrogant to see it.
@Cameron – thank you for finally putting this out there. Very true article.
Hahahahaa! Oh my God, I can’t believe you actually managed to nail this topic down so well, Cam.
I’m forwarding this to my girlfriend too, just so she can get a chuckle out of it too, as she’s met a few of those girls who fall into the 3 categories above… and wanted to punch them right in the mouth after 5 minutes around them.
p.s. – Erika, yes, you have just labeled yourself with all 3 categories above. Tsk, sometimes silence is golden, but no, you couldn’t keep your mouth shut and you had to “defend” yourself, even though nobody mentioned you anywhere… makes you wonder, eh?