Well, it seems that you do have the experience indeed. I wonder if the differences in perception have to do with the place as well?

One thing I definitely don’t agree with your theory is that if you walk to a woman and say “I want you” (though I wouldn’t say that unless I was trying to just be sexual with her) it’s boring for her. Few guys have the balls to do that and I’ve asked quite a few girls how many times they’ve been approached “direct”. Answer is always many times by drunk or creepy guys. Few times by sober, cool, decent guys.

I certainly had more than 99 out of 100 success with direct. Actually, the 3 most beautiful girls I’ve dated in my life I approached with some form of direct opener. Now, I have gotten really bad reactions as well, where I’m immediately put in the player or sleazy category. So I tend to prefer smoother openers (like something about the situation or a lower key compliment) nowadays as they don’t bomb as hard and one can easily get a little bit more intense from there. Eventually I came to realize that how you start the conversation is not really that important once you reach a certain level of comfort with flirting and bantering around with girls.

For the record, I’ve taken workshops with both Badboy and Shark (Ranko). I’ve seen this working for some of their students as well, and failing for a whole bunch of others. It failed a lot for me before I realized that I really needed to back up the opener with more flirting and having the rest of my act together (thanks Cameron for helping me fully realize that!).

In the summer I saw a few guys getting laid in a summer party place by being ultra hardcore direct, a la mode one. Sure, not super pretty or smart girls, but heck, it works.

Also, my perception is that East European women are generally more comfortable with being approached in a direct manner than other European women.

But, I DO have the experience. Working in nightclubs 5 nights a week for 10 years means I’ve spent about 2500 nights in a club observing and practicing game. (I also get to hear stories from female staff, guests and friends about all the ways guys try to pick them up.)

Sure, any technique will work some of the time. Even a broken clock is correct twice a day. My point was that direct game has an extremely low chance of working. I’ve seen it fail 99 times out of 100.

I guess what I’m really asking is how can I going from the shy guy to the social attractive guy in a social circle situation like a house party or just meeting friends of friends kinda of thing. For me anytime Im in those situations I kind of hang back with the people I know, maybe say hi to few people I don’t know, chit chat a bit nothing exciting. Id just like to know what I can do to change that.

That’s a pretty strong generalization. “Direct game” is not a FAIL and does not require you to be a rockstar or anyone famous. It has worked for me and it has worked for other non-famous guys. I’ve seen it working countless times. I’ve also seen it failing countless times, as I’ve seen any type of “game” failing countless times. Sure, we can argue when it’s most appropriate, for who it’s most appropriate and whatnot.

Please don’t go around making sweeping generalizations based on some theory without having the experience to back it up.

That’s a good question. Let me think about that one. I understand where you’re coming from. Not everyone is going to be the “Life of the Party” person.

I’ve always been naturally extraverted so I’ve never considered hanging with a social-circle as a “game.” I’ll have to sort of backwards engineer the process.

A lot of social circle game comes down to individual ability to vibe and conversational skills. If you sign up to my newsletter, you’ll get the 3 free PDFs on “Natural Conversational Flow.” It’s some of the best and most practical stuff I’ve written.

You should definitely read those 3 PDFs.

Cameron

Ps. It’d also help me answer the question better if you could make the question more specific, as in where are you getting stuck? What would you want to improve?

I actually don’t usually do super-direct game :)

Most of times what I do is a variation of “I’d like to meet u” to “I think u r cute”. [If I actually mean that, if I don't think she is cute, I'll not approach]. Or I could just say Hi and go from there.

But in direct forums there is certain buzz around that book “Mode One”. Guys are saying it is THE system to follow, the best thing out there.

I asked cuz I was curious what u thought.
What u say makes sense that it should be used in certain context. Regarding indirect, I don’t dislike the method, but I do dislike the persona of teachers Style and Mystery and I did take a bootcamp with Mystery a year back.

While I do recognize it works, there are little details here and there I don’t like.

Just walking up to a girl and saying “hello” is direct enough. She knows that you approached because of her beauty and that you want her. (At least that will be her assumption 99% of the time.) If you approach with a heavy neg, then most of the time she’ll just think your a dick.

Women appreciate a guy with some social savvy. As a friend once told me, “I know the guy is talking to me because he wants me. I might even go home with him, but heck, make it fun for me. Lets “play” a bit, some verbal sparring, a little teasing, etc. Keep it interesting. Don’t be a pushover, don’t be a jerk. Make it FUN for me to flirt with you.” In a way, this reminds me a bit of the old “cat string” theory.

If you walk up to a girl and say, “I want you” its boring for her. If you walk up to a girl with a bit of a twinkle in your eye, smile, say hello, and “have a clue”, she still knows that you want her, but now the game is afoot (in a good way) and she will have fun engaging in you.

Think about it. How fun is it playing tennis (or other sport) against someone who completely sucks. Even if you know you can win, don’t you like a bit of a volley, some excitement, working a bit for your win??

A great line from an old move. Two business men are planning a golf-game/meeting, “This time I’ll make it harder for you let me win.”

Flirting is that art of saying “maybe”…

-DV

Most initial approaches will fall somewhere in between. You want to know what my most commonly used “Opener” is? You ready for this???????????

(Drum roll……)

“How is your night going?”

Yep. Not flashy, boring, chill, casual, take it or leave it, I’m just starting conversation.

It’s not the only “Opener”, but probably (& Currently) my most often used. It’s simple, easy, and gets the conversation started and then I can take it where I want from there. Or sometimes, can’t get a good vibe established. If there is no chemistry, then I leave.

As for telling girls that you want to bend them over: Not proud to admit it publicly but I’ve done it, but it’s like a surgical strike. You have to have the right timing. You’re looking at the right situation, the proper context, and the right type of girl, before you blurt out something like that. It’s a concept I call “Pushing in all of your chips” but I have been hesitant to write about it. Maybe I’ll do a blog post about it.

As for as just being blatantly graphic with girls, and telling them what your thoughts are, well…..
Let’s put it this way: It’s “Urban game.” It works in a certain subculture, with a certain demographic. It’s different mode of communication within a different SUBCULTURE. (Are you grasping what I’m saying here?)

Once again, we’re back to the issue of demographics and archetypes. Certain girls respond to that type of behavior. Question is: Are those the type you want? Are you meeting girls in “Urban” milieus?

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Charlie V,

Good points. I feel like I should do a new blog post just reply to your comment. It’d take too long to describe in the comments section.

Take care
Cameron