Great 2-part post about gurus! Thanks for writing them because you got me thinking about part 2. What you suggested is a definite main reason why people go to gurus, and I think another is that people are just plain lazy and pussified nowadays. They are not men who are willing to face rejection, pain, and perhaps, humiliation just to get what they want.

Not sure about your childhood, most kids grow up playing video games and never physically go outside, play with more than just their fingers and thumbs on a controller. They never had to face another kid in person, literally confronting each other face to face, and sometimes, end up on both ends of giving and receiving punches. They never did get that toughening up process of growing up. So as adults, they go to their little cubicles at work, then go home with the magical thinking and expectations of a hot chick ready and waiting.

Gurus and many other programs promise answers and easy ways of bypassing what should be part of maturation process of becoming an adult. As you favorite charismatic Arnold would call these guys worshiping gurus: girlie-men!

Keep up your entertaining blog!

What utterly surprises me is he continues on this day.

Josh

As far as reading and bashing gurus it is within your right but dont lump all gurus in there. If it werent for these guys what would you guys have to get better with women? Imagine there is no community how would you get good with women? You could go out constantly and get mixed results and not undertstand where your sticking points are. You could try to befriend a natural. But again there arent many of those around its not like going to a grocery store “yeah id like to befriend a natural”. If you do can he explain thoroughly what he is doing or will he be like bro i dunno just be cool.

I understand there is a downside as there is with anything but you want to work on yourself not worrying about some guru. Dont bother yourself with the pettyness of the community because there is a lot of it be a mature man that doesnt let the pettyness bother you and focus on the goals you set out for yourself.

I dont mean to get a high horse but I had to say that.

WOW..

Great post.

JS

I have just briefly read through your articles dissecting the Guru problem. I have to admit I fell victim to one, long story short because of a girl. It helped me but also shot me in the foot.

I learned some behaviors which led me to have power in certain situations, but I had to pay dearly in the end in self-respect and time and money.

With the help of my buddies healthy-skepticism, the facade is easy to see through. I won’t mention the “guru” who I am speaking of, but it is as bad as having an addiction to any kind of substance, illegal or otherwise. They feed on the emotion of others and the dependency of the victims, which is perpetuated by holding knowledge over others head for a hefty price of money sometimes.

For them to profit you always have to feel inadequate or are made to and I think this speaks for the cultural phenomenon that is the PUA community.

I’m glad to see you tackling more controversial subjects in the manner that you always do.

Thanks,

Josh

Daddy complex haha

You make good points about giving people a sense of belonging and emotional security. I’d add that they also create attachment and dependence. When an individual has a set back, it’s because she/he didn’t believe enough, and if she/he experiences success, it was because of the guru’s influence.

Glad you’re enjoying the blog man. Regarding Neil: You’re either a relatively new reader to the blog or you’re just fucking with me. lol Neil is about as much my kind of a guy as Jason from the Friday the 13th movies was the kind of guy for camp goers..

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Michael & Mojito,

I guess we’ll have to disagree regarding Sinn’s advice. He has an excellent technical understanding of social-interactions and he is good at explaining it.

As for Cult Nation, agreed. They seem to be running something that has all the signs of being a cult, but then again, in this particular niche of self-help industry, there had to be a cult sooner or later. lol