So, everybody knows and with that comes the 24/7 round the clock coverage on every news channel, and tributes by everyone who ever had a piece of lint of MJ’s clothing land on him.  Is it ridiculous?  Yes?  Is the news interesting?  No!   Is our cultural behavior fascinating?  Absolutely. 

 Regardless of if you liked MJ or not (and I was definitely a fan in high school, and I could see how someone could like him as an entertainer but dislike him as a person), you have to be amazed by the sudden attention to his death.  Just 2 weeks ago, he was a frail and wounded man, and no one cared if he was homeless on the side of the curb outside of a 7/11 store drinking cheap wine out of a paper bag.   Now, everyone is interested in paying some sort of a tribute and discussing how sad it is.  Jesse Jackson cannot wait to have the spotlight shine on him once again discussing the sad nature of this situation.

  (For the international Audience, Jesse Jackson is a reverend who likes to get involved in politics, and turn everything into a race issue; particularly if he can grab the spotlight.  He’d make a national racial case out of why your ordered the “Pinto Beans” as opposed to the “Black Beans” at a Mexican restaurant..)

 There are two issues that are a bit alarming to me: 

1. Why do people insist on paying tribute AFTER someone dies?
2. Why is there a need to lionize and praise someone after they pass away?

• The first issue: Tribute that’s too late. 

 Very rarely, you see tributes to living legends, but moving out of the scope of celebrity, very rarely do people take the time to appreciate someone else they care about.  They make take the time to write great eulogy speeches but couldn’t take the time to make a phone call.  This isn’t even about Michael Jackson.  We’ll get to that later.  This is about tendencies of human behavior.

 My father was never big on funerals.  If invited, sometimes he’d attend, and sometimes he wouldn’t depending on the circumstances. He always said, “If you have something nice to say to appreciate someone, say it when they’re alive.  Once they die, let it go.”  It seems like common sense but you don’t realize or comprehend the tremendous magnitude of it until you experience it personally. 

 I realized the effect of it personally when my friend Seth passed away back in March..  I didn’t feel a need to write a speech that’d wow everyone to no end.  Sure, it’s nice to pay tribute and commemorate someone, and I am all for paying tribute. From a personal perspective, there is some solace in the fact that you said what you wanted to say to that person while they he/she was alive.  While you can’t make up for the loss, there is a very tiny bit of catharsis in knowing that the person KNEW how you felt about him/her

It’s unfortunate that people don’t focus on that aspect of showing appreciation more.  Upon hearing the news of someone passing away, people seem quick to want to offer a nice tribute, but the true impact would have been felt much more had the action been carried out while the person was alive.

 Thus, you learn to show appreciation for people, as it difficult as it may be to verbalize your feelings out loud.  Whether it’s a parent, another family member, friend, give them a call, take them out to lunch and tell them you appreciate them.  OK, now that was the sentimental sweetheart part of the post. 

• So let’s get to the 2^nd issue: The emphasis on lionizing people after the die.

 Paying tribute to someone is a nice gesture if words are congruent with your emotions.  Whether it’s an acquaintance, a distant relative, or Michael Jackson, it’s common sense that you’d miss someone you genuinely liked.  However, what if you didn’t like the person?

 People often feel a need to say something nice about someone after the fact. Entire revisionist stories are written, and people suddenly develop selective memories about the events that occurred, or somehow they convince themselves to see the events differently.  It often becomes ridiculous and if the person is remotely famous, the effects are that much more intensified.

My question is: Where do you draw the line?  Seriously? 

 We know that people don’t have pleasant eulogies for those who commit genoiced or those who are mass murderers.  Certainly, there is no positive tribute for Joseph Stalin, Hitler, or the Zodiac Killer.    Where is the cut off line, however? Where is that arbitrary line where we decide to not champion somebody?  If someone went on a rampage, stormed into a government building bent on going on a killing spree, but ended up killing dangerous escaped convicts, and in the process died himself, what happens then?

 ”Well, let us remember Bob Smith for saving the children who were playing outside while on a fieldtrip from the school.  The children’s lives were spared from being slain by the dangerous convicts Bob shot.   Of course, Bob went in to the building with the intention of just shooting random people, but by miracle, ended up taking out bad guys.  God bless him.”

 Where do we draw the line?

 In the Michael Jackson case, the same media that vilified him is now paying tributes to him.  Where is the consistency?  Yes, I get that much of the media is a collection of whores who want to milk the story for what they can.  They like to exploit what they can.  Anyone with reasonable intelligence can see that pattern of behavior.

But then, even in the case of someone not famous, you see the same trend of behavior, the trend of lionizing what used to be a contemptible character.   The guy who was an asshole suddenly is recalled with fond memories. 

It doesn’t work that way.  A prick is a prick, present or past tense.   Joseph Stalin was a prick. We should be glad the motherf*cker is dead.  Just because he dies, doesn’t make him a saint.  Consistency!

That brings me to another point:  Why is it sacrilege to rejoice when an asshole dies?

It makes no sense.   It only makes sense to be sad when a good guy passes on.  So, yes, I was pretty bummed out when I recently logged on the Internet to see the news that George Carlin died of a heart attack.  It sucks!   He was 71, but still, George Carlin is the kind of guy you’d want to see live to be a 100.  I think he was a brilliant comedic mind, an astute social commentator, and a genius of an artist; plus an all around good-guy.

It makes no sense to mourn the loss of a prick.  A few years back, ex-president Gerald Ford “Passed Away”.   My initial gut reaction?  One less scumbag on the planet!  My second reaction?  “Why couldn’t he die in 1963 during the Warren Commission, or before it?”  Over all reflection on the situation: Just one less scumbag the planet.

All human beings die.  When the ones whom we care about and admire die, then naturally we are saddened by it because we feel that void in our hearts.  When a prick dies, then we ought to celebrate.  Dick Cheney is one evil son of a bitch, and he is almost 70 years old.  One day, Dick Cheney will die, as do all living creatures. You don’t hold a memorial service for an evil fuck like that. I think you should be allowed to rejoice in such instances.  You ought to be commended for pulling out your old Van Halen CD (or MP3 now days) and cranking out LOUD the song:  “Dancing in The Street”. 

This is how it’d go:

Newsflash:  Dick Cheney died today while Hunting.  An Elk shoved his horns up Dick’s rectum puncturing his colon as well as his sternum.  His loss is being felt, but we can’t figure out where.

Reaction: Happy People Start blasting Van Halen’s cover of  “Dancing in the Street”…..

 There’ll be swinging , swaying,
records playing
… Dancing in The Street….. 
Whoaaaaaa,
It doesn’t matter what you wear,
Just as long as you are there,
Come on every guy, every girl, everywhere,
‘Round the world. They’ll be dancing.
Dancing in The Street.  
It’ just an invitation,
Across the Nation,
A chance for the folks to meet,
There’ll be laughing, singing,
Music Swinging,
Dancing in the Streets…… 
There’ll be dancing in Chicago,
Down in New Orleans,
Up in New York City…

   ———————————————————————–

 OK, I am getting sidetracked a bit.  Back to the issue:

 Anyhow, this phenomenon will continue.  Granted there will be individuals who will sorely be missed by a lot of people.  There will be various inspirational figures who will touched people through actions, art, or just every day personal interaction.  Yet, there will be the Dick Cheneys of the World, despised by most of the planet, and when they pass away, you are assured of seeing round the clock tribute on CNN and every other news channel.  The same people who couldn’t stand the guy will release a statement about the sad loss of having lost that person. 

  If there is anything to take away, it’s that when it comes to making statements about someone’s character, human beings are consistently inconsistent.  They’ll attempt to mourn a Cheney type, when in fact, their true gut feeling would be to rejoice…..  Speaking of celebration, here is Van Halen once again…..

Enjoy….

Scam Game

 Ok, let’s talk about something we are not really supposed to talk about.  We turn a blind eye and yet it exists.  People may not want to acknowledge it but it’s out there: Scam Game

  The world of dating can take different turns.  Depending on the type of women you seek, and the environments you spend time in, you’ll notice a drastic change in the variables.

It’s like math you learned in Algebra.  You have constants and you have variables.  Constants are: Men like women, and women like men.   You start with that basic premise.  The type of men and women and the environments they frequent introdue our changing variables.  (And you complained to your teacher that you’d never use high school Algebra in real life?)

So let’s talk scam game:  Certain type of men will resort to trickery in order to lure certain type of women back to their nest.  It’s been going on for millennia.  Somewhere during the caveman days, when clubbing a woman on top of the head and dragging her back to your cave became illegal, scam game started.    I take that back.  Scam game probably existed even during the caveman times.

 In the latest podcast I did with Sinn, he discussed a few occasions where he pretended to have cocaine back in his hotel to lure girls back in.  Once he got back, there was no coke, of course.  Frantically, he searched through various drawers, changing, “Fuck, where is the coke?  What the fuck happened to it?”  He even made a phony strategic phone call asking about the whereabouts of missing blow.

 Techincally, that may not be scam-game.  I’ve seen so guys use so many different baits guys will to pull club-chicks.  When “After-party” isn’t enough of a lure, then you gotta step it up a notch.  That’s not so extraordinary.   So today, I wanted to take it a step deeper into the real realm of Scam-game.  The  point is not to advocate or advertise it but just to share observations.

 Yes, there is a scam game and a lot of guys engage in it.  It’s the game where one shallow individual pretend to be something he is not in order to attract another superficial individual.  So on some level, it ends up working out.

Yes, this is the clichéd , “Hey, I am a movie producer”  game.

In cities like L.A, NY, and Miami guys will pretend to be fashion photographers to lure women in to their houses.    As we speak right now, somewhere in LA or NY, there are men pretending to be fashion photographers in order to get women.  They are not even part of the seduction community or any such thing.  They just have their scam.  Heck, you could even call it “Scumbag game” and the guys who conduct it would agree with you while laughing about it.   

• The Greatest Scam ever told.

This reminds me of a friend of an acquaintance of mine who consistently pulled the greatest scam I’ve heard of to date.   After noticing what a drag it was to try to meet platinum haired club skanks and get them to show up to anything, he decided to devise a scam.  This scam took effort.  It took prep work.  It took research.  It was the equivalent of the Casino-heist in Ocean’s 11.  The stage had to be set.

Finally, he found his scam to sleep with hot aspiring models and actresses.

Well, a little back drop to this story:

If you’re reading this right now and you live in Dallas or Chicago, you’re thinking, “What the fuck is Cameron talking about?”  So, let me fill in the details.

In Los Angeles, there are 1000s of women who are aspiring actresses.  Problem is 80% of them don’t have any talent.  To make matters worse, they don’t have any logical business sense either. 

Disclaimer:  I should preface this by saying that I have quite a bit of respect for people who are artists.  I do have friends who are actors, comedians, musicians, and the like.  For crying out loud, I’ve even done stand-up comedy myself.  Generally, artists are one of the archetypes I really get along with personally. 

 However, we are not talking about the 20% that actually take their craft seriously.  It’s the 80% that run amok and think they have something to offer.  And they’re flaky as hell!   If you’re visiting Southern Cal, and you meet a girl who tells you she is an “Actress”, remember that 8 out of 10 times, she is going to be a flake of enormous proportions.

 I remember my friend Seth was casting for his movie a couple of years back and he was auditioning actresses.  Now, this was not scam game.  This was legitimate.  It was a paying gig, which in Los Angeles, is a very big deal.  Still, people flaked. 

I recall telling him:

“So let me get this straight. These people’s career goal is to be working actors.  They have a chance to audition for a part that pays them money for working as actors.  Not to mention this also helps them build their resume, and it pays money, enabling them to further their career and what they’re pursuing.  And still they flake and just don’t show up?”

He replied with a smirk, “Yep!” 

This gives you an insight to the type of people you’re dealing with. 

          —————————————-

Of course, I'm a Movie Producer

 So back to the ultimate scam game which I heard about over 10 years ago in the late 1990s.   I never met the scammer, but I’d hear of the details of the account every so often from one of his friends whom I used to chat with a few times week at the gym. 

The Scammer to be, let’s call him Mr. Smith searched for a solution that would bring these actresses to him.  A movie-producer was the natural choice, but so many guys try to pull off that line of bullshit that it’s been clichéd since the 1970s… 

This scam had to have credibility.  It had to have an air of respect and power.  And it had to be consistent, meaning it had to be something that could be repeated.

  - Enter Paramount Movie Studios.

 Apparently, the Paramount movie studio lot in Hollywood has offices for rent which are available to anyone who is willing to pay the money.  You don’t have to be affiliated with Paramount or even be involved in the movie Business.  [I don't know if this is still the case now.]  It was back in the mid 1990s. 

Upon discovering this, Smith is elated.  He gets the brilliant idea to rent an office at the Paramount lot.  It was not a huge office but big enough to look like a legitimate business for a producer and damn it, it was on the friggin’ Paramount lot.

Smith furnished the office with a few chairs, a beat up computer, and plastered the wall with a few posters of various famous movies, memos, and even a couple of fake plaques.  He then spread a slew of headshots and resumes across the messy desk that he was “Too busy” to clean up. 

He even carefully placed a few headshots in the trash bin, to show what happens to those who don’t make the cut.  The jig was set.

He would then hold mock auditions for hot bimbo/actresses in his office.  Granted, there tons of guys pretending to be producers in Los Angeles, but this guy had a motherf*cking office on Paramount.

This was the foundational piece to his scam.

That means the would be visitor had to drive up to the Paramount gate, talk to the security guard, give Mr. Smith’s name, have security contact Mr. Smith to see if the guest was acceptable, then grant the visitor entrance along with directions on how to drive to Smith’s office.

By the time, she drove to his building on the lot, the movie producer gig had been completely legitimized in her mind.  Sure, some even flaked on that, but not many.  Most made sure they showed up on time to meet a Paramount producer.   He then ran them through some phony auditions and attempted to seal the deal right there in the office.  Granted it didn’t always work, but really, like a good baseball player,  Smith was going for a 30% batting average. 

Mr. Smith carried out this scam for over a year, consistently luring some of the most attractive bimbos on to his lot in the Paramount office, where he proceeded to have sex with them right then and there.

He carried out this scam for an entire year constantly repeating this formula.  After a year, he quit the scam and moved on.  Like I said, I never met the guy, and I lost touch with his friend so I don’t know what happened to him.   It would have been interesting to meet him.  I am sure he is probably on a sleazy side, and doesn’t have too many ethical bones in his body.   You’d have to be unscrupulous to fool that many people.  Nevertheless, it’d be intriguing to interview him for this Blog, to find out what made him go to such lengths and invest so much into his scam.

That is that story of the greatest scam I’ve ever heard.  You can be sure that even right now there are plenty of guys either running or trying to run some sort of a scam to lure women.  (And they’re not in the seduction community.)  This is to encourage anyone to resort to that, but it’s interesting to be aware of what’s out there.  If you’re a female reading this, well, maybe you’ll think twice about taking someone’s word about being a movie-producer next time.  So it ends up working out for everybody.
 

a bit of charm to go with

 
  The point of Smith’s scam above was two-fold:  One was to have a vehicle to draw attractive women to come to him, and the second was to hold a social hierarchical position of power over them, social leverage that could be dangled in front of them.

Wait, what if you’re a legitimate producer? What if you have a legitimate position that is NOT a scam?  What if you are able to draw women in because of the nature of your occupation and social leverage?   Much like the movie-producer who wrote a tirade on “Craiglist” a while back, you still need the attributes to be attractive. 

Even Smith, the scumbag that he was, knew how to charm women and attract them emotionally.  Those are essential skills every man needs.  Without that, you have nothing. If you want to develop those you may want to get a copy of my audio course for your own benefit: http://www.attractwomenanywhere.com/audiocourse.shtml

Other than that, beware of scam-game.  It’s out there. It’s designed to get money out of men and sex out of women.  Chances are, you may have met a few guys or heard a few stories yourself…..  If so, feel free to share.

The new Hot Spot

 Most people go to nightclubs and see it from the outsider perspective, never having taken the time to converse with managers, doormen, bartenders and various employees.  Beneath the glamour and enticement of sex, there is a business side to the whole thing.  After all, the people, or the entities, who own these clubs are in business to make money. 

 Like a lot of things in life, Nightclubs have their own cycle and they often repeat a similar pattern.  Since I am taking sometime off from going to such places, I thought it’d be a good idea to step back and talk about lifecycles of nightclubs. 

 For our purposes, we are sticking to popular spots that are “the Places to Go” in any big city.  We are not talking about a “Dive-bar” that’s been there for years, nor are we discussing the local Irish Pub that serves drinks to a loyal client of hardcore boozers. 

• Grand Opening:  The New Popular Nightclub:

 For the first 3 or 4 months, it’s absolute pandemonium.   Red Carpets, Velvet ropes, and the A-list crowd.  If you’re the average Joe trying to get in, forget about it.  It’s “THE” Place to be go.  It’s the see and be seen place and you had better be prepared to spend lots of cash.

This is the honeymoon period.  In LA or NY, they’ll lure celebrities to come in who consequently have their photos taken out front.  Socialites run amok and Paris Hilton can’t wait to have her photo taken outside.  There are no lines.  People stand like cows at a trough and if you’re lucky, the promoter may allow you in.  More than likely, you’re standing in a crowd of people for hours and everything is there to remind you that you lack social status. 

In order to even have a chance at getting in, you must be on a guest-list and even then, you may not get it.  A $5000 for bottle service or greasing the bouncer may help smooth the way in, but you have to ask yourself, is the price worth the night spent in that venue?

• Fast Forward 6 months later.

 In 6-8 months time, it’s still the spot but the hoopla has subsided a bit and at least the average Joe can somehow schmooze his way in there.  It’s still difficult though, and you’ll still see hopeful patrons standing outside in the cold for 3 hours crossing their fingers hoping that the bouncer will have mercy on them.  At least, however, the club has become more lax on allowing in average Joes and average looking women. 

It’s still difficult but it’s not improbable. 

Fun times....

• One year later

 In a year’s time, things have normalized.  Now, it has more of a normal feel to it.  It’s one of the hotspots, but it’s not “The” hotspot in town.  The average Joe and the average looking girls actually have a good chance to get in.  It’s fun and still one of the best nightspots in town to party.  It no longer has the status it used to, but it’s still a nice place that promises to be a good time. 

• A year and half to two years later  

 In a year and half to two year’s time, it’s becoming passé.  It ain’t what it used to be.  It’s ok but business has plummeted a bit.  There is also a new place in town that is “The” hotspot to go to and this club is now catering to the more average.  Paris Hilton has long taken her drunken debauchery there and she wouldn’t be caught dead here now.

 It’s a fun place and people start talking how about its glory days and “How” this place used to be.  Again, this place is the alternative to the NEW place that just opened up. That place is almost impossible to get it to, but this place is a bit of a legend in its own right so it has some of the respectability factor.   

• Fast forward two to two and a half years later:

 Something strange happens to some clubs.  A bit of a ghetto element shows up at the club because it’s loosened up its admission policies.  Soon, more of a ghetto element shows up because the crowd is shifting.  A small surge in business comes and the club starts playing an insane amount of hip-hop to cater to this new crowd.  You no longer see drunk white people singing Journey’s “Don’t stop Believin’” in a drunken stupor come closing time.

 That’s the beginning of the end for the night club.

 Basically, You see a plethora of spinning rims on Cadillac Escalades in the parking and you know the club’s days are numbered! 

 At this point, the “Hot chicks” stop going to this place.  When the “Hot chicks” stop going, so do the guys who are spending all the money.  No attractive women, and no big time spenders.  The women are the lure, and there is no longer any social status attached to this club.

• In 2 to 3 year’s time, the club closes. 

But don’t worry; this is the nightclub business.  There will be a new club opening down the street with the same cycle, but you’ll find it very difficult to get into that one.  You’re better off trying the one further down that opened a year ago.  It’s in its 1-year cycle and it’s the happening place to go where you don’t have to work your ass off to get in.  

 In recent times, the Nightclubs business has changed to a conglomerate of owners who expect and understand this cycle.  They’ll open a new club every two years for this very reason, and sometimes it’s in the same exact location!   They’ll close the place down, wait 3 months, remodel the building and give the place a new name.  They’ll pretend as though someone new has opened a new club. In reality, it’s the same owners giving the old place a facelift and a new image under the guise of “A Brand New Night Club.”

 Hence, club Le-Experiment will shut down for 6 months, redecorate, and reopen under a new name.  Same owners, same management company, just a bit of dressing to fool people into believing it’s a new place.  Paris is back, so are the velvet ropes, and the guest Lists. 

And the cycle continues…………………..

     ——————————————————————-

 .

Practical Portion of The Show

Tips for getting into Night Clubs:

 Granted, I’ve not been a big fan of frequenting the super ritzy places often, but I’ve been enough times to get the dynamics.  I’ve found way to get in to the places I want to go.  So, how do you get into Night Clubs?  Below is an outline of various methods to get in:

.

  —The Pay-For-It Route—

• Bottle Service

 The most expensive way to do so is by purchasing bottle-service.  This concept really seems to have become hugely popular in the last 5 years.  If you don’t know what that is:

Reserved Bottle Service

 Basically, you get your own table/booth at the club by purchasing 1 or 2 bottles of Alcohol.  So perhaps you get 2 bottles of Grey Goose Vodka, but each bottle is costing you 500 dollars….  This is tough to stomach knowing that the same bottle goes for $50 at the store, but that’s the price you pay for VIP Service and having your own booth to share with friends. 

 Bottle service, however, can cost you up to several thousand dollars depending on which club you go to. It is for the big time spenders.  You have your own booth where you can corral women to, and let’s be honest, club skanks cannot resist free alcohol.  For the higher end bottle service purchasers, it’s a display of social status.  The club women know where the money is.  It’s in the corner where the guy just spent three to five thousand dollars. Granted, to be fair, not all the women are of the “Club Skank” variety.  People like to have a good time, and the VIP booth with the free flowing alcohol that is sectioned off promises just that.

Pros of Bottle Service:  Easy Entry to club, Velvet ropes lifted just for you, VIP service, social status inside the club,  Private booth where you can conduct your party,

Cons:  Significant Damage to your wallet

  —————-

.

• Grease the Bouncer

 Though expensive, it’s still cheaper than the bottle-service route. Three or four guys could pitch a few hundred dollars a piece to get bottle service, or you can shake the bouncer’s hand with a fifty or a hundred dollar bill folded neatly and he’ll allow you to get in.  Direct correlation on on how hot the nightclub is and how much you gotta pay. 

 You can be direct with this method, but don’t announce it to the world.  Don’t attempt to embarrass the bouncer or make it look like he is a sleazebag on the take.  It’s part of the job. 

•  You can quietly just ask him, “Hey man, how much would it cost to get me/us in here?” 
• Or lean over and quietly make an offer:  “Hey, if I shook on it with fifty, will that get me in?”  

 This is not a surefire way to get you in.  On some nights, the bouncer’s power is limited, or there may be guys making much higher monetary donations than you.  However, it’s normally effective and the bouncers like you after the fact.

.

• Dinner Reservations

 Certain nightclubs operate as restaurants before going to full club mode around 10 PM or so.  Normally, if you eat dinner, you’re allowed to hang out afterwards and enjoy the club as well.  Keep in mind, this is not a cheap dinner.  Do NOT order Wine with your meal.  That’s what kills ya at the high-end restaurants.  A bottle of beer or 1 cocktail shall suffice.  You may spend 50 to 75 dollars on a meal, but you didn’t spend money on bottle-service, and you didn’t have to negotiate with the bouncer.

 —————

 .

—-The Free Route—

 .

• Befriend the main Promoter

 Well, everyone wants to get on his good side, and he knows that.  Very difficult to befriend the main promoter at the venue itself.  You’re just going to come across as an ass kisser.   You’re going to have meet this guy through social circles and such  That’s the key here!  He may extend an invite but at best, it’ll be you and 1 male friend.  Just one!  Don’t show up in a cock-fest.  Ratio of females to males is very important in these spots.  That’s part of the lure and the social status.

.

• The promoter’s minions: 

 There is 1 main promoter and he has a bunch of cronies underneath him.  These guys have limited power but all strive to be the main promoter one day.  Usually, they act like they’re gigantic club promoters, but again, their power is very limited.  You can get on their list and sometimes, you can do that through email and such.

 Here is the trick though: Even the cronies have various lists sometimes.  If you’re on his general list, you’re on there along with a whole lot of other dudes.  You may get it but you’re waiting around for an hour or more….  He may have a VIP List and that’s the list you want to get on.  The general list sometimes can be meaningless.

.

• Know the bouncer 

 This basically comes down to going some place often and having some networking skills. I’ve chatted with guys working out at the local gym who turned out to be bouncers at popular local nightspot.  I didn’t even know that upon chatting with the guy initially, but when the guy is your pal in some way, and you show up at the club, chances are good he is going to sneak you in.

.

• The Sausage King of Chicago, technique 

 This comes from the beloved 80s classic, “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.”  If you understand the system, then you can see opportunity spots within to devise clever tactics to get you in.  I can’t share these ones personally, but if you look into it, I am sure you can find clever ways of working around the system.  If you’ve seen Ferris Bueller, then you know the scene I am talking about. 

Other than, go early and try to work your way in.  Or you can try the route of getting in by attrition.  Dress well, and wait around for 2-3 hours and they may finally take pity on you.  However, standing in the cold for 2 hours and not getting in can leave a nasty taste in your mouth so it’s not highly recommended from me.

So, there you have it.  The business of Nightclubs along with how to get in while they’re a happening spot…..

Cameron

PS.  The articles on this blog will have a profound impact on your dating life.  Please realize that they are supplementary and supporting material to what I discuss in my expanded work.  Get a copy of my Ebook here: Building Attraction with Women

Welcome to the spectacle, a new system of dating, a new method of picking up women, and well, a whole bunch of bullshit piled on top of each other.

 I come across guys who have been around the seduction community for years and years, jumping from system to system, becoming infatuated with the latest guru, and then repeating that cycle all over again.  They are a little better off than when they began but they still don’t have the results they want so they look for a new idea to latch on to.  Heck, the may even join some disgraceful concoction that starts with the word “Project.”

 If you have been involved with the seduction community over 2 years (maximum 3), and are still in it trying to learn more pick up, you need to STOP right now, and take a good look at yourself in the mirror.

 Think of “The Seduction Community” as a vaccine.  Most people don’t seem to have any idea how vaccines work.  A Polio vaccine actually has the Polio-virus in it.  It’s an injection of polio-viruses that are weak, dead or on the verge of dying.  They can’t make you sick, but introducing them to your immune system allows you to create “Anti-bodies” to fight that particular organism.  Thus, if at some point, you do contract the Polio-virus, your immune system remembers the DNA structure of the intruder and is to combat it.

 But you take that vaccine ONCE when you’re a child.  That’s it.  You don’t take it every 3 months forever.

 Let’s do a better analogy.  Imagine if you have some grotesque looking thing growing out of your skin that’s absolutely disgusting.  You use 3 sessions of Gamma Radiation to fry the bastard and then you move.  The Radiation was helpful in enabling you to achieve something, but then, you DO NOT go back for treatments once a week/month for the next few years.  That sort of radiation would bring down all sorts of diseases and potentially kill you.

 That’s exactly what the seduction community is meant to be:  A Small dose of needed radiation to help you overcome something.   It’s Gamma Rays that serve a very specific purpose in small doses until the problem is eradicated.  Then you stop receiving the radiation and move on, because otherwise that very thing that started helping you can also destroy you.  

 Hence, if you have been in it for over the 2-3 year time period, and you feel like you are still searching for answers, still seeking help, still jumping from one seduction “system” to another, then you have to stop, look at yourself from distance and ask why you are in that particular predicament. 

  It’s not that the issue can’t be fixed.  It’s that the remedy may be wrong.  Imagine you have a car that has severe engine problems and you keep giving it new paint jobs.  It’s not going to run any better.  It’s not going to perform any better despite how many super waxes you use to polish it.  Gotta fix that engine man. 

 Often times I meet guys at various seminars or meetings and they’re there seeking the answers to their problems.  And there is no shortage of people trying to sell quick fix answers.  A guy approaches you to tell you about some issue he has and he starts off by shaking your hand, except he gives you one of those weird soft shakes, one of those shakes with such little pressure that it feels like he is holding a jelly filled donuts and doesn’t want to squash them.

 From the soft jelly-donut holding handshake and his eye contact, you know that he has dug himself a hole starting out any interaction.  It goes beyond women.  That handshake could cost him employment after a job interview.  It could cost him an admission to a college after his interview with a faculty member.   No one wants to teach social-adaptation skills, but they’ll want to give that same guy NLP patterns and embedded commands he project into a woman’s brain so that he could infiltrate her psyche.  OR that same guy now wears a fuzzy hat, carries a 5^th grader’s lunch box looking like a goth reject. 

It’s fucking silly.

Oh, and let’s not forget the opposite of the jelly-donut holding handshake guy: It’s the guy who wants to take your arm off because he heard a strong handshake is appealing and attractive.  He thinks crushing the other person’s hand wins you respect.  He isn’t doing too well either.

These are really simple examples, I realize.  It’s to illustrate a point that there are fundamental  Social skills that have to be learned.  There are also limiting beliefs that must be eradicated and replaced with empowering beliefs. 

Back to the original point:  If you’ve been in this past 2 or 3 years and still find trouble in approaching women, having a decent pleasant conversation, then you have to take a look at yourself and what it is that you ought to improve.  You have to dig deeper, and yet, concurrently realize that the solution is not embedded within a system of “Pick up.”

I won’t be doing much more in-field coaching anymore.  I am tired of it, and the idea of taking guys to a bar with me so I can talk to women while they watch and take notes does not appeal to me.  If I do decide to teach workshops in the future, it’ll probably be something based on providing solid-foundational-social skills. There are 100s of guys chomping at the bits to teach you how to attract women with their fancy systems, and yet not a lot of people who want to teach core skills that are really almost necessary to possess.   Notable exceptions being guys like Sinn and Stephen Nash who do emphasize certain social skills as part of their curriculum. 

The point is this: If after 3 years, you are still having issues with talking to women, maintaining a normal conversation, and attracting them on some level, then take steps to fix the issues.  Well, how do you fix something, if you don’t know what it is?   Good question. I’ll tell you what it’s not.  It’s not Pick Up.  The new flavor of the month guru is not going to solve your issues.  Some guy walking around telling you how bangs porn stars, or another guy walking around telling you about how he is just “Indifferent” is not the remedy.

It may be that you need to increase your core skills or it may be that you have certain limiting beliefs about yourself and your own self-image of who you are.  One place to gain those core skills is my Audio product.  
http://www.attractwomenanywhere.com/audiocourse.shtml  Regardless, take sometime to fix those iissues, and get that part of your life fixed.  (And no, you’re not going to gain “innergame” through spending an hour with someone who tells you to shrink images, make them black and white, while enhancing other images in your mind.)

 What if you are having some success but find this stuff so fascinating that you want to learn new systems all the time?  That creates a whole set of new problems which I’ll save for another post all together…..  For the time being, let’s get back to the basics.  The point of the Seduction Community is to enable you to learn certain skills, develop certain attributes, at which point you leave it behind, moving on to other endeavors.

 Let’s be honest: Bars are a waste of time.  Once you’re past 25 years of age, and you’re still often frequenting bars and clubs, you are wasting your time.  I write this with the presupposition that you’re an ambitious person, and if you read my blog, you probably are.  I still go to bars too often, even if it’s just ONCE per week, it’s still too much, I believe. 

 There is the inherent problem.  It’s a matter of conditioning, knowing where the bounty is.  If you’re a pirate, you hit certain parts of the Ocean to take your loot; If you’re a religious organization, you prey on people’s desperation and naiveté, and if you’re a guy looking for a gathering of women in abundance you hit the bars.

 On the one hand, you deal with a population that comprises of 80% scumbags, all gender inclusive, especially if they’re over the age of 25.  Scumbag is a strong word for it.  I have a lot of acquaintances in the South Bay who hit the bars all the time, and they’re not bad people.  They’re just retired frat boys as I’ve alluded to before on this blog.  They’re some of the “Good people” of the bar.  On the other hand, that’s where the sexy dressed women are.  It’s what my buddy Jon calls the battle of brain versus penis, and in my opinion, depending on how much testosterone you have as individual male, the battle becomes very one sided.

 It’s similar to the line in “Dog Day Afternoon.”  Upon being asked, “Why are you doing this,”  Al Pacino’s character, Sonny, who is robbing a bank replies with a thick Brooklyn accent: “Why?  Because they got money here.”  (Seriously, if you haven’t seen “Dog Day Afternoon,” you need to get a copy and watch is ASAP. Great movie.  Make it a date night.)   

 That dynamic applies to bars and clubs.  “They got pussy here” is what Sonny would have said. The dynamic is further compounded by the fact that I can go to any bar anywhere, and pretty much talk to anyone I want, and I actually do that.  Sometimes it goes well and sometimes not so great, but I don’t have issues approaching and striking conversations with strangers. 

 Most people in bars are onlookers.  90% of men stand around and stare wishing they could to women.  They stare, they hover around in close proximity, and even some guys who are good reply on getting pretty wasted on alcohol before they start accosting the women. 

 Yet, it doesn’t change the fact that it’s a waste of time to go so often.  A buddy of mine, (a now retired dating coach) used to argue that bars are just for social people who are extraverted.  Well, perhaps, but using that logic, you can conclude that it’s a place for people who enjoy paying 6 to 7 dollars for a beer.  (If you’re reading this in Iowa, yes, that’s how much a beer costs in LA or NY.)

 There are social instances where it’s an occasion to go to see your pals.  You could go to a bar to see a basketball/football game on TV while having a few brews, and you may go to shoot pool and relax.  The chief goal of why guys go to nightclubs is to meet girls.  Let’s not mask that.  The primary reason why women go is not to get laid, although some are open to possibility.  Despite that paradox, it’s the place where alcohol mixes with bimbos and douchebags and the results sometimes produce something possibly even worse than Bill O’Reilly.

 Back in the Project Hollywood days, I used to go quite often. We all did.  That was 2004.  We didn’t even drink much.  It was some weird sport almost.  These days, (last few years included) I go once a weekend, (sometimes twice).  Though I may skip a weekend here or there, it’s pretty consistent.  Now, like anything else, it has become conditioned.  The weekend rolls around and you start making plans where to go.  It’s Fri or Sat night and you  feel like you should be out somewhere.

 I had this conversation with Stephen Nash when he was out here visiting.  He and I used to be “Wingmen” quite often back in the old Project Hollywood days, and we did pretty well for ourselves.  Stephen is also a naturally extraverted guy who is social and into the performing arts, so we can relate to each other well.  He issued a challenge and said, “What if you didn’t go to bars anymore for 2 months?  Just as an experiment to see what’d happen.  What have you got to lose?”   

He has a good point and part of me wanted to argue with him, but I knew that he was right.  I am going to guess that for a lot of guys reading the blog, there is a reaction of “What’s the big f**king deal?”  For a lot of guys staying home is actually easier than going out to a night spot.  For me, it’s the opposite. 

 So, I am taking 2 months off.  I’ll go out with friends but not to bars.  Only exception may be a birthday party but my close friends don’t have birthday parties at bars.  The only other exception is if someone actually manages to somehow talk me into coaching him “In-field” which is something I don’t do much anymore, and something I don’t even like doing.   

 Coaching is part of the problem.  That’s how a major part of  this began:  When you do live “In-field” coaching, part of you feels like you should be out there keeping your cold-approach skills sharp.  That’s another contributing factor.   In an industry filled with charlatans and liars, the pressure even mounts on more.  You feel like you’re one of the few honest people who needs to carry the burden.

 I’ve met everything from guys who are just unsocial but savvy marketers, to the socially weird, to creepy, to those who have no friends, to those who leverage their position in the porn industry, to those whose primary source of sex is paying for it!  I’ve met them all.   And hey, I am not judgmental on hiring hookers, but you really shouldn’t be giving dating advice if that’s your method.   That’s like a guy giving you advice on how to be a successful farmer, and he only gets all his fruits and vegetables at the local giant supermarket chain.  Something’s amiss.

 So, that’s how it sort of all started and now it has become habit.  Like anything else in life, you do it long enough, and it becomes part of your daily/weekly routine.  It’s an important key factor to recognize!  You can condition yourself with new habits constantly.  It’s the first few weeks that tough.  Be it going to the gym, be it doing a certain activity, whatever…

 So now I’ve started to implement a new habit.  For the months of April and May, no bars or clubs on Weekends. (And obviously, I don’t go on weeknights anyway.)   Everything else is acceptable.  House parties are allowed.  Dates are OK. Movies are fine, and heck if I have to sit home and read a book, watch a Lakers game or type out a Blog post on a Friday night, that’s fine too.  Just no Bars or clubs of any kind.  This is not particularly easy for an extrovert who would rather socialize with random people than just “Chill out” alone at home.

 Last night was the first test.  Friday afternoon, a buddy of mine called up and said he was going to some place in Orange County (which I rarely venture to.)  He had a “Hook up” at some place where he knew the promoters and could get us in easy.  “It’s supposed to be great, etc, etc..” 

 Didn’t go.  Don’t plan to either.  The decision has been made.   60 days, no bars, and I’ve extended that to places that bar people would hang out.  So no hanging out for too long a period at a house party where there are a plethora of people that you’d see at the bar any other night…   (who many times end up leaving the house party to go to the bars around midnight anyway.) 

 Let’s see how this experiment turns out…….  Stay tuned.

90% of men who seek dating advice do not improve much in this area!

Sad, isn’t it?  That means that potentially 9 out of 10 guys reading this blog right now are frustrated and upset about the fact that they don’t meet and attract girls on a consistent basis.  They’re not even looking to be players, but on the same token, they don’t much enjoy their forced celibacy either.  

I seem to get more than my fair share of emails from guys who are upset about studying someone’s method or attending some workshop which didn’t really help them at all. Why guys think I am some sort of community-police, I have no idea.  Perhaps it’s from reading my blog or hearing me on the Barry Kirkey Radio Show.  I don’t mind the emails.  Man, I can feel their frustration through the emails.  It sucks.

 It shouldn’t be that that way, but it is.  I am going to blow the lid off why this is happening and why:

So let’s start with the success rate.  20% of guys reach some level of success and 80% remain frustrated.  In this process, a strange phenomenon occurs.  The former leave and the latter guys stick around. 

We probably ought to define “Improvement.”?  It’s  normalcy in socialization, going out, meeting a few girls here and there, FLIRTING with them, date a few girls, get a girlfriend perhaps.  We are not talking aspiration of becoming some silly acronym.  (mpua, master-pick up artist) and so forth.  Some say my 20% estimate is generous but I am sticking to it.  So let’s pick out some hypothetical numbers and apply the stats:

Random Year:   10,000 guys find the seduction community of whom 2000 found success.   8000 didn’t really improve substantially.  This happens on a yearly basis.  In 10 Years, time, you have 80,000 guys who haven’t improved, and are still lingering around. This number keeps compounding. 

Those who graduate move on with their lives.  They reacclimate themselves into normal society and normal flow of things.  (Why normal?  Because talking about pickup incessantly and giving field reports to your buddies on a daily basis and talking new DHVs is NOT normal, especially when a guy is nearly 30 years old.)

Of the guys who do graduate, some stick around and become teachers who really know their craft.  They understand the process and are able to explain it to others.  It’s sort of like the Top Gun academy where if you graduated with honors, you were given the opportunity to come back and be a flight instructor.  Some of those guys would include , Sinn, Stephen Nash, Swinggcat, and Barry Kirkey who does a radio show on the community now.  I’d throw myself in that category.   It’s important to note that none of these guys, including me, came in with commercial aspirations.  We came to the community for our own self-improvement.  We planned on leaving it and somehow it turned to a job.  Be that as it may, a few of us are still planning to leave it in a few years. 

If you’re reading this, there is a good chance you may be in the struggling part.

Why??

In order to IMPROVE IN THIS AREA OF LIFE, you have to address 2 distinct major areas.

• Social Skills,
• Social anxiety,

• Addressing Social skills:

Conversational skills, ways to flirt, subcommunication, ability to socially vibe, sense of humor, story telling, social intelligence (formally referred to as calibration.,) and even Tonality and Body Language.  These are the things a dating coach could help you with.

• Addressing Social Anxiety:

Most guys experiences some forms of social anxiety, whether it’s walking around talking to people in a bar, or interacting with people at a house party full of strangers.  Sometimes it comes down to a question of self-worth; a question of who you are.  A guy may feel that women don’t like him, but it’s really because of his poor childhood experience with his parents.  .  Maybe he feels that his father or mother didn’t like him. 

A dating coaching cannot help much with such issues.   A woman can’t fix them either.  That problem will be taken care of when he lets go.  This is where the therapy comes in.  Ever been to an AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) meeting?   I have.  I went to one to support a pal.  AA people treat alcohol as though it’s some evil entity in a science fiction movie.  “Set Phasers to stun!   Shoot the bottle of Jack Daniels.”

Alcohol is not the problem.  It never has been.  It’s just a means for the alcoholic to escape his issues.  It’s an escape vehicle. This is what A.A people do not understand, it seems.   Similarly, many guys in the community want to use women as the escape vehicle for how they feel about themselves.  That’s why it’s important to get yourself fixed in conjunction with learning the social Skills.  It’s a two-prong approach.

If you suffer from massive amounts of anxiety or fears, then it might be of benefit to see a therapist.  I am not a doctor and I don’t give medical advice.  As for forms of therapy, I am a big proponent of  Hypnotherapy.    I believe it’s the most effective.  The problem is it’s difficult to find good hypnotherapists.  Very difficult, in fact. 

If that’s not your cup of tea, then choose what you think is best for you.

Having these fears, men and women alike, try to satiate that need by trying to get validation from the opposite sex. It’s either that or they take refuge in some “Spiritual” mumbo jumbo designed to provide answers they seek. “Improve your energy field, change the color of your aura from Green to Magenta, Study more Deepak Chopra.”

A 100 books by Deepak Chopra and the gang is not going to help anyone develop social skills and it probably won’t help someone get over anxieties and fear based emotions caused by trauma. 

This brings us to the field of quick fixes.  If you are struggling with women, I can guarantee that you have experienced some, if not ALL of these below. You’ve perhaps attended a workshop or even idolized someone you saw on TV.  Maybe you read Neil Strauss’ ode to illusions of Grandeur called, “The Game.”   Nevermind the fabrications in that book.  Let’s get to the heart of the matter:

80-90% of men do not improve because of the following: 

• Quick fixes:

• Garbage Advice

*America is the land of opportunity for the quick-fix salesman.  Part of this falls on the shoulder of the consumer.  Many American consumers are not vested in themselves.  They won’t want to hear about going to the gym and receiving the proper nutrition. They want the pill that’ll make them lose 20 pounds in month while they eat Cheesecake and pie all day.   So let’s address the various categories of terrible advice.

• The Magic Pill advice:

The same concept mentioned above applies to dating.  The snake-oil sales guy steps in to take advantage of people’s thirst for the quick fix.  This is the guy who doesn’t really understand the process and cannot really help your dating life, yet seems to release a NEW product every 4 to 6 months. I know quite a few of these guys, and unfortunately, I can’t name any names, but it’s up to you to be judicious.  Next time, someone tells you “Do Nothing and lose 30 pounds in 30 days,” understand that he is full of shit.  On that note, apply the same principle when someone tells you, “Get ANY GIRL You want in 5 minutes or less.” 

Seriously, if you’re not willing to work on yourself, you’re not going to improve your chances of attracting women.  To Attract a Higher Quality Woman, You Must Become a Higher Quality Man.  That does not happen over night. However, with a bit of work, you can improve and achieve that.  Questions is, are you dedicated?

 Take a look at successful superstar athletes: People like Magic Johnson, Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant are born with a gift of better genetics for athletic competition. Despite this propensity for athletic prowess, they still WORK HARDER than all of their peers.  If they’re willing to put the work, why shouldn’t you?

• The Routine Stack teacher  (often seen peacocking.)

This is a memorized script that you spout off to every girl you come across.  I am not going to deny that it can be helpful for some beginners as training wheels.  However, a “Routine Stack” is not a substitute for a personality.  10 minutes in and the guy is done because when he reverts back to himself, what is he going to be then?    It’s not that the routines are evil.  They can help.  Just remember that they don’t create personality.  Bars in big cities are full of guys who are able to talk to a woman for 10 minutes and then they got nothing left.  

• The Cool guy from high school figure:

This is the dating coach who can’t really teach you many social skills.  There are one or two good nuggets in his presentation, but fucking hey, I wouldn’t want to pay 5000 dollars for just a couple of small pieces of information.  Most of the guys who come to the community are usually the intellectual types who probably were not too popular in high school. (I know I wasn’t.)  They weren’t in the “in crowd” or hanging with the jocks and the football team. 

Now, for 5000 dollars, they can hang with a older clone of the same cool high school guy who used to ignore them, while he runs his errands, picks up his dry cleaning and goes to the Whole Foods supermarket.  It’s the price to pay to feel cool by hanging out with the snobby prick from high school.  Of course, he is not going to tell you that.  He’ll tell you he is helping you meet women in everyday environments such as the dry cleaners, but in reality, you’re paying for the privilege to hang out with him.   5000 Dollars to hang out and and go buy groceries at Whole Foods Supermarket with Biff Tannen. 

• Mc Spirit, (The McDonalds of Spirituality):

A little spirituality is good to give you peace of mind and some wisdom.  However, like we do with everything else in America, we try to cash in at whatever expense.  McSpirituality stores pop up everywhere and they all have the answers.  At the end of the day, this McDonald movoment of Spirituality sitting on your ass watching the secret and manifesting is not going to improve your conversational skills or improve your ability to flirt with women.  It’s not going to make you FUN or interesting. 

I’ve come across creepy guys who tells me they watch “The Secret” 5 times a week and work on their energy fields. It’s helpful information to all of us.  The guy is still creepy, except now we also know he also has no life or hobbies.

I wish that it could be that easy.  I wish you could sit on your ass, watch the secret and manifest a fantastic physique.  Actually, now that I think of it I don’t wish that at all.   Years back, I went through a crappy period where I gained a lot of weight.   I’ll spare the story for some other day, but I eventually lost that fat.  How?  I ate the right foods, bought the right supplements, and worked my ass off in the gym.  I still have a shelf of all the books I purchased on bodybuilding, and various fitness endeavors.   I got the correct information and APPLIED the knowledge. 

If it were as simple as just sitting and “manifesting,” then everyone would walk around with the body of a Greek God. Let us be glad that it’s not easy. 

• The technology salesman:

Anyone who uses the word “Technology” in his advertising, you can conclude is technologically rimming you in the ass.  I’ll share a well hidden secret:  People have been f*cking for millennia.  They’re going to f*ck for 1000s of years to come.  It’s just that our species and (All other species) depend on procreation to continue.  The modern day man f*cks as did the Cro Magnon man.  Well, OK, we added Astro-Glide, and flavored lube that gets hot when you blow on it.  But aside from that, the process is still the same.  F*cking is F*cking.

If you hear someone using the word, “Technology” to help you attract women, run for the hills.  And cover your ass while running, because if he catches up with you, he will rape you.  Do you really think  “Technology, ancient patterns, sophisticated algorithms help the guy below attract a woman?” 

• Other quick fix advice that is Useless shit:

Feel good advice by guys who read self-help books.   This guy has read Eckhart Tolle a 1000 times over and now is regurgating it in the dating field.

“Hey, Just be yourself, and let go of your ego.”     Well, that’s great, but what if being himself means being socially awkward, nervous and quite sitting in the corner of the room.  Fuck that.  I say strive to be yourself.  Be yourself in that you are true to your CORE VALUES, whatever those core values are.

The “Just Feel good” advice does not help a guy become interesting, fun, and engaging.  It does not help him develop balls, nor does it help him learn to flirt with women and enjoy witty repartee.  It’s not that guys cannot be helped.  It’s that they’re given terrible advice.

If YOU find yourself stuck in the same place while you’re spinning your wheels going nowhere then start from the basics.  It’s You need to be committed to work on 2 areas:

*Social Skills  (Developing the proper Attributes, and social skills, Ability to vibe, ability to Flirt.)

*Confidence of the self and social situations.  (Eradicating anxiety, finding sense of self-worth)

A good place to start developing the CORE Skills you’ll need forever, beyond ANY quick fixes:

http://www.attractwomenanywhere.com/audiocourse.shtml

Regardless of whether you seek dating advice from me or someone else, you ought to have an overall roadmap on how you’re going to get there.  Focusing on the 2 areas I’ve mentioned here is a good start.  My goal with this post is to provide you with a bird’s eye (Macro) view of the that roadmap.

 
Get your Chips, high rollers stand in front, let the game begins.

 
The world of dating and attracting women can be a lot like a casino.  You have to understand the type of game you play and the odds you face.  Otherwise, the house takes your money and you’re left standing there, broke, dejected, sporting that post gambling look that says “What the f*ck happened?”

 
Despite what any dating “Guru” tells you, approaching women is a numbers game!
It always has been!  It always probably will be!  Unless you’re in a position where women are approaching you, you’re going to play the numbers game and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. If that’s the case, then why should you even bother reading dating advice?

 
Because you learn to improve the odds in your favor.  How so?  Well, a guy who is good at interacting/flirting with females will talk to 10 women, and out of those ten, he’ll have 5 or 6 good interactions.  (We are not talking about getting laid.  Just a good interaction where you both enjoyed the time spent.)  The guy who is mediocre at it will have to approach 50 women to experience those 5 or 6 good interactions.

 
So with that thought in mind, let’s the hit the grand casino of dating.  You want to stack the odds in your favor, and make sure the statistics are favored towards you.

• Loud Night Clubs:

Ahhh, this is the dating equivalent to roulette from hell.  Normal Casino roulette has two green slots for “0” and “00” which give the odds to the house regardless of whether you bet on red or black, odd or even.   This roulette table has ten green slots!  The odds are stacked against you from the get go.   Loud music, distractions from every which way, attention whores dancing on table tops, girls walking around in a chain gang with locked arms, obnoxious drunks, and a garden variety of douchebags running amok.

 
So why even go there?  Well, that’s a good question.  Probably because the place sports enough bimbos to be called “Skanks R’ us.’ And the lure is too great to resist for men.  Is it impossible to work the scene?  No, but this scene does favor certain types of guys. These are guys that fit one (or a combination) of the elements listed below:

• the good Looking,
• the fit,
• the Popular,  (Remember, this is high school on a bigger stage)
• the rich (will try to swing things his way through bottle service purchase if this is a “Classy” joint.
• the loud extrovert  (talk to enough people and you’ll create a buzz.  Attitude goes a long way.)
• the persistent  (fire at will, fire at will.  He’s just looking to capture just 1 for the night.  This is like watching discovery channel where the lion feasts on the limping lama or gazelle in the back of the heard.  The persistent guy will hit on enough women to find that limping lama.)
• *the perpetual drunk  (the annoying drunk who is there every weekend.  This guy will hit on and slobber on every single woman until one caves in.  He is more like the hyena, a creature which has no self-respect that chews on remaining carcasses from another predator’s kill.)

Damn it, the casino analogy is turning into the Discovery channel…..  Let’s get back to the casino.
 
So can an average looking guy standing at 5’7”  (170cm)  tall whose favorite hobby is reading meet a girl in this venue? Yeah, of course, it’s possible.  Chances are he could run into a similar archetype-woman who found her way there for whatever reason that night.  However, we are talking about the numbers game and this is one game where the odds are stacked against a lot of guys.  The house is prepared to take your money, and I actually mean that.   $20 entrance fee, $15 cocktails, and doctor’s fees to fix the hearing damage, you should be prepared to pay.  (If you live in LA, add $20 for parking.)

 
I am not saying you can’t meet girls at a loud club.  Just pointing out that the odds are not the greatest.  And if you’re NOT good looking or fit, then you’re better off being a persistent belligerent drunk in this venue than the scholastic individual in the corner.

• The cocktail Lounge:

Approaching in a lounge is sort of like playing black jack.  With a bit of skill, you can turn the odds quite a bit.  The crowd is more sophisticated, and the environment is a bit more peaceful.  It’s a more conducive environment to meeting people than the last venue.  It’s not loud and the place isn’t crawling with blatant attention whores.  You won’t find people dancing on table tops or the dancing monkey who thinks he is back in the 70s disco.  The crowd is a bit more refined too.  They like to smell the cork off the bottle here.

• Dive Bar:

 
Close to a black jack game, except you’re playing at one of those casinos off the beaten path where the clientele are missing teeth and possibly a couple of limbs here and there.  You can meet girls but you gotta be careful because people in dive bars often know each other.  (You’re playing at a table where all the players are pals.)  Pace yourself, and get to know the place.  Make a couple of pals in the bar and suddenly you know half the place.  It becomes a friendly game.  Once you know some of the locals, you really stack the odds in your favor.  Now, you’re playing blackjack with a team and you’re counting cards.

You won’t catch filet mignon at a dive bar often, but sometimes ground beef will do.

• “Day Game”  Coffee shops, Super markets, Bookstores, and the like.

This is the equivalent to playing craps at the casino.  You have the best odds in this venue, and the proverbial house advantage is minimal.  Maybe you’re a guy who is not interested in being a lound drunk, and you definitely don’t want to meet half the bar.   This venue provides a more genuine meeting ground.   Loud night clubs are sort of an extension of high school so there exists the social peer pressure of whom you’re seen with.  For the more introverted inclined, this venue provides a nice platform.  On top of that, girls are less superficial since they’re not worried about the peer pressure aspect of things. 

• Online game,

This is  basically online blackjack.  With a bit of skill, you can do well for yourself.  The skills here is learning how to write the proper profile, selecting the right photos and having a bit of proficiency with prose.  I’ve known guys who meet quite a few women consistently from the comfort of their own home.  You have to figure out which games adhere themselves to your advantages.  Online isn’t my specialty because I don’t invest too much time in it.   I am the loud gregarious guy so I like face to face meetings.  This is where you gotta match the game to your personality. 

• House Party:

Talking women at a house party gives the best odds.  This is somewhat equivalent to playing poker.  You can really clean the table pretty well if you’re a skilled player.  The great thing about it is that even if you’re not very proficient, you can still win a few hands.  Very social environment which allows people to be open and more friend to striking a conversation with strangers.  Even with little skill, you can bluff your way to winning a few hands at a house party. 

Poker

• House Party.  (And it’s your house.)

Now, you are the casino.  It’s your house (literally) and you’re playing with house money.   You’ve got security, pit bosses, and dealers and “Eyes in the Sky” (but let’s save the kinky shit for some other post.)  They’re all working for you.   This is probably the easiest venue to work since you run the show, and it’s your rules.   You’re playing with house money so there is little pressure, and you run the joint so what you say goes.

Look at your personality, and decide what type of women you want to date.  Choose a venue that gives you the best odd.  Give yourself the best edge.

Continuing to examine social currency from the last post, we find ourselves at a trendy Nightspot in a major metropolitan city. Every city has such places and the ones in L.A and N.Y. exemplify this dynamic the best.

In Los Angeles, for example, one such place would be the hotspot known as “Les Deux” where they even make attractive women wait in line. The “Super hot ones” get in first and the merely hot sometimes have to wait a while since their social currency has just been devalued just a bit. Of course, as nightclubs are a revolving door business, and thus, Les Deux may not be the hot spot a year or even 6 months from now. That’s a post for a different time, however.

If you do live in a major metropolitan city, you probably should go to such a place one night just to watch the interactions. Instead of being caught up in the moment and finding a way to schmooze your way in, step back and look at from a bird’s eye view. Just observe it. It’s like discovery channel. It really is like watching animals, or herds of cows competing to get inside a grassy field so they could graze…. “For all the advancements in science, technology, and expressions of art, it’s come down to this? People elbowing each other like herded animals at the trough trying to get the attention of a promoter to let them in?” That’s the prevalent thought that goes through the mind. (or at least my mind.)

Step back, even further to get a better overall picture. Yet, look closely at the details from afar and you’ll see: The very attractive women who walk right in, the normally attractive women who have to wait 20 minutes in line, and the average women who latch to the better looking ones so that they have a chance to even get in.

There is the affluent guy walking right in and having the red velvet rope lifted for him, there is bouncer trying to make extra cash on the side taking bribes to let the non-affluent in, there is the main promoter in charge who cannot wait to get off work to snort a line of blow the length of a football field, there are his cronies working under him hoping to one day have his position, there is the drug-dealer who provides the promoter with his cocaine, (sometimes the promoter is the actual dealer too,) there are guys on the guest list waiting their 20 minutes to get in, there are the guys who have who have a friend on the guest list trying to finagle their way, and then there are a whole lot of guys standing around for hours hoping to get in.

That’s the nature of the game. 100,000 of years of evolution and still too many cave people trying to get inside the special cave. It’s interesting to watch form a social-psychology perspective. I can’t say that I am so much above this, I’ve been to these places. They can even be fun for a while if nothing else but to observe the human dynamics.

In fact, if you ever meet people who work in these environments outside of their work, you’ll note that they have intriguing stories to tell. I remember one top “Doorman” telling me about how he’d make 3 to 4 thousand dollars on a good night, just from taking bribes to let people in, and how he has none of that money because he blew it all, (mostly on drugs.) (ps. Don’t ever call it a “Bribe” when talking to people who work these jobs.)

So it’s a game. And if you hang around and have a bit of social intelligence, you learn the system, you learn the loopholes and find your way in; IF That’s what you want. Yet, it doesn’t change the fact that you get a feeling you’re watching animals being herded. However, there is a system in place and from a sociological perspective, there is a function for the place. (note: we are talking high end nightspots, not the type of place where a 1000 Euro-trash fill the place drugged out of their mind on ecstasy while listening to techno. Let’s maintain some class here.)

So let’s do a recap of the players and the venue:

• Nightclub – A place where a niche segment of society congregates

•  The promoter- Essentially a powerbroker who coordinates the meeting between the “Rich guy” and the “Hot chick.”

•  The Bouncer- The gatekeeper to keep out “the Average.”

•  The very hot chick- Sought after by men, she walks into the club. The affluent guy buys up to $5000 worth of “Bottle service” to have sex with her. The Average guy salivating outside will endure standing in the cold until his limbs are numb so that he could get in and rub shoulders with her.

•  The hot chick- Close to the Very hot chick, except one notch lower. Occasionally, she’ll have to spend 20 minutes in line. She is attractive, better than average, but not quite super hot

•  The Average girl- Hopeful to get in the club because she thinks being in there raises her social status. Her best chance of getting in: Latch on to a hot chick OR be friends with staff. Sometimes she gets in because the promoter wants to fill the club with a higher ratio of females.

• The Affluent guy- Has money, or social status. Also is willing to spend 1000s of dollars on any given night. He spends lots of money so he is well taken care of by the staff.

•  The connected guy- Looks like some mediocre drummer in a shitty band with no name or talent. This guy doesn’t really have money, and if he didn’t mooch off some girl, he’d be called homeless. However, this strung out veiny wannabe is friends with the bouncers and promoters, so he gets in.

•  The drug dealer- Supplies drugs to whoever wants it and can afford it. He does have regulars though. He is well known by the powerbroker/promoter so he can be directed to the right place. (Sometimes, this guy IS the main promoter.)

• Special Occasion guy: This guy and 5 of his buddies pitched in to get bottle service. It’s not something they can afford every weekend, but hey, a few times a year is worth it, they figure.

•  The Average guy- Spends inordinate amounts of time waiting outside in random formation (Since there is no line.) Sometimes, he gets in which is a great accomplishment for him. He can spend the entire following week telling his friends about it.

That’s the hotspot scene. . It is a shallow world of dog-eat-dog and it’s about status. It’s also about attitude. It’s also conceivable that at age 22, you may like to experience going to these places often and then there are those who never grow out of this stage.

It’s interesting to note that men’s looks have very little social currency. While a very attractive woman is highly coveted, a very good-looking man holds little social currency.

-Social Currency for a Woman: Her physical Appearance

-Social Currency for a Man: Social Proof, Power and Status in Society, Wealth, Drugs, and the bringing with other social currency (Hot Women.)

So let’s assume there is a prestigious party about to emerge and you want to go. If you’re an attractive woman, you’re in. If you’re average looking, tag along with an attractive friend. Yes, I know that in some cases you think she is a dumb attention whore and she gets annoying after about 25 minutes, but you tolerate her because she gets in.

If you’re a man (the not-affluent type), offer Money, Drugs, or go along with a bunch of hot chicks. And no, these are not women you’re interested in dating. Don’t be a silly bastard. You don’t take women you’re interested in to such environments.

Understand the value of your social currency. I am having visions of Alec Baldwin’s speech in Glengarry Glenross. “Hey, Nice Father?  I don’t give a shit!  You solved Cold-Fusion and solved the energy crisis of the planet, fuck you!!!  It’s Fuck or Walk! Either raise your social currency or don’t show up at the door step of my party pal!”

It may be sick, and it may be disgusting. I know. But if you understand the system, its parameters, and its dynamics then you can work it to your favor but knowing how to leverage your advantages.

Then again, maybe you don’t like getting mixed in that game, and there are a lot of people who don’t, then you’re going to have to rethink your strategies about how you conduct your social life. Unfortunately, a lot of the advice that is written regarding dating on the Internet by “Pick Up Artists” is for guys who want to operate in the confines and parameters of the night club world I just described above (And even then, they still don’t always understand it.)

On the other than, if you’re reading dating advice from the average “Guru,” keep in mind what world he is prescribing his advice for. He’ll claim that it’s all women and he may sincerely believe that, and that’s the exact reason his advice hasn’t worked for you.

Oh, perfect segue to promote my own product if you want to improve in attracting women:

http://www.attractwomenanywhere.com/audiocourse.shtml

A while back, a buddy of mine was visiting L.A and while I was showing him around, he turned to me and said, “It just seems like affluent rich neighborhood in any city also have the largest number of hot women.  Have you ever thought about that?”

Nope.  I never consciously thought about it.  Why?  Because I had already accepted it on a subconscious level.  It was so ingrained and basic that I had never even bothered thinking about it.  My mind simply associated an affluent neighborhood with hot women.

Because that’s the way it’s always been.  If I am in Los Angeles, I intuitively know that certain neighborhoods like Beverly Hills and certain Beach communities will have a plethora of physically attractive women living there.  Just as I intuitively expect a large number of less than stellar physical specimens in certain beat up and ragged neighborhoods.

This isn’t unique to me. I am willing to bet it’s ingrained in all of our brains.  The question is why does this occur?  L.A. may be considered a shallow place, but this phenomenon exists in every major city in America.  (Except for Newark perhaps, which is just one giant dump.) 

One explanation is that wealthy people live in affluent areas. It’s a simple linear model.  Wealthy people marry the more physically attractive women. Hence, this leads to  a physically better looking offspring, and the cycle repeats itself.  (Not to mention access to better health care and dentists who can ensure that beautiful pearly white smile.)   Many people correlate evolutionary psychology to such occurrences and that is partially responsible, but it is a social construct of our culture, and it is part of our social fabric at this point. 

On a secondary level, people by nature are drawn to the “Nicer things” in life. Hence, all men and women would like to live in a nice beach house with view of the Ocean and immaculate sunsets over the pacific.  So why do then the better looking women reside in these nicer neighborhoods?

This is where it gets tricky.  It comes down to what I call “Social Currency.”  Everyone is looking to trade in his/her social currency to get to upgrade the current status amongst the masses when it comes to access to coveted social spots… Often coveted places have that attachment because they’re perceived to be high status. 

Physically attractive women have a built in mechanism in place to trade as social currency.  It’s pretty simple really: It’s their physical beauty.  That gets them into parties, hot spots,  perceived prestigious night clubs,  and so forth.  (And this lasts until they’re about 30.)  Men on other hand can’t really trade in looks as social currency even if they’re handsome.  They rely on other things. 

So let’s assume there is a fantastic exclusive party in a mansion this coming weekend and it’s by invitation only.   

• Women will trade in their looks as social currency to get in.  “You’re a hot chick?  You’re in!”

• Men use affluence, wealth, women, and drugs as their social currency.  For a guy to enter the party, he has to either bring with him “Hot women,”  or drugs.  Either that, or he has to have some sort of affluence.

 Nowhere is this more exposed and self-evident than standing outside a hot nightclub.  In fact, it’s amazing to watch.  This is THE venue to watch social currency in action.  It’s where self-indulgence meets the shallowest human values possible.  Hence, it’s a perfect place to examine Social Currency in Action.

Stay tuned for the next blog entry to dissect the Night Club Scene under a microscope.

This is the last video posted on the blog.  There are a series of videos that are available to you completely free here:  

http://www.attractwomenanywhere.com/freeaudiodownload.shtml

(Not to mention a Free PDF File on Natural Conversational as well as a free 1 hour MP3 download!  Yes, it’s the Holiday Spirit!]

Watch the video, 

Discuss.