As some of you have noticed (and complained), the blog hasn’t been updated regularly for a while. I’ve got quite a few new articles ranging from dating advice, to life style, and life-experience advice.   I think you’re sure to enjoy them (or at least some of the articles.)

So with that thought in mind, I’d like to wish you a prosperous 2011.

Cameron

This is a new addition to the Blog.  I get a lot of emails  and sometimes there are pertinent questions regarding issues that are shared by others as well.  So here we go with the Q an A.

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Hey man, long time.
You write with so much conviction in your blog posts… yet are your ideas real “official” psychology or just a personal opinion/interpretation of things?  Are these personality types/disorders mentioned in genuine psychology books or they’re your personal opinions/perspectives based on your experiences and your subjective ( not-related in any way with science )way of filtering the world?

I hope you don’t take this as offensive, I’m just curious.

Julian

Hey Julian,

Good question, but I’m very offended that you’d question the gospel that I teach.  Lol

Ok, seriously, you do ask a good question.  The articles I post are 100% my opinion. They are not medical science, nor do I have any sort of medical degree.

Having said that, (Credit Larry David), I’d add that I’m at times arrogant enough to believe I can do more to help people clarify certain issues in shorter amount of time than your average Shrink can in months.  But that’s also just opinion, obviously.

As for the personality disorders, please do remember that I emphasized these are not “Personality Disorders.”   Being a self-absorbed “Value Taker” is not a disorder to my knowledge.   It’s a trait!  It’s sort of like someone you know who is an asshole!

Scientifically, you can’t really say being an asshole is a personality disorder – At least, not to my knowledge.  However, it’s an undesirable trait.  Same concept behind toxic personality traits articles.   If it helps, think of it as various ways to define “Assholes” we should all avoid.

The blog is here for reference.  Take away what you will!  Some of it will pertain to you and some of it probably won’t.   Feel free to cross-reference what I write with your own experience.  For example, take a look at friends and acquaintances you know who are married or in long term relationships.  Which ones are happy?  Which ones are f*cking miserable?  What sort of women are they involved with?

Like Bruce Lee once wrote:  “Research your own experience.”  I’ve provided some of mine

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Next comment comes from Germany:

{free tip to all: Anyone who ever discusses going to a nightclub with the motivation to see a particular DJ spin suffers from low IQ. Seriously, I’ve never ever met anyone who was respectably intelligent utter or write those words in the above quote. Nope, not even once!}

hmmm… while i agree that the djs most party chicks want to go see are just over-hyped windbags, SOME people actually care about the music and are excited to hear certain djs play. even with an IQ… ;-) (just my 2 cents)

by the way, great blog,man!  i got into the whole pua thing a couple of years ago, only to become disenchanted very quickly.  All the routines and tricks i learned made me feel like a weirdo and i started to look down upon the women who actually fell for it. so i unlearned everything and broke it down to “stand up straight, speak slowly, don’t pick your nose in public and don’t be a pushover”. works fine for me and i’m actually enjoying myself when i’m out instead of constantly going through a checklist in my head.

so i was really excited when i came across your blog, with a feeling of “this guy gets it!”

regards from germany,

Wolfgang

Hey Wolfgang, thanks for the good words!  Just for you, I corrected that in the Blog!  It now reads, “I’ve never met any GIRL…..”  and it’s true, I haven’t. lol

Glad you’re enjoying the blog.  It’s meant to provide a different perspective than the average dating-advice and as well as providing practical advice that’s beneficial as opposed to mechanical robots trying to be social.

Congrats on unlearning the PUA-crap and moving on!  I avoid dating gurus and “Pick up Artists” at all costs myself (with the exception of a handful of guys that are actually good guys.)   Unfortunately, many of them live or visit Los Angeles so they’re not always avoidable.  I joke with some friends about how in a public setting, it’s like that particular airport scene from the movie “Donnie Brasco!“

In that film, Johnny Depp plays undercover FBI Agent “Joe Pistone” who has joined the mob under the fake name “Donnie Brasco.”  When walking through an airport, an old acquaintance happens to see him, and almost blows his cover by keep blurting, “Hey JOE! It’s ME!”    To which Joe AKA Donnie replies: “I’ve never seen you in my life!  Now, get the fuck outta here!“   (I won’t give the whole scene away.)

Yep, that’s how I feel about seeing PUAs in respectable public settings!

“Hey Cameron!  It’s me, Tyler/Nick/ Vin DiCarlo…”

“I’ve never met you before!  Get the fuck away from me creep!”

Luckily, most PUA gurus don’t run in respectable public settings, so the rest of us can breathe a little easier. ;-)  And “Donnie Brasco” is a really good movie.  I highly recommend you check it out!

Take care

Cameron

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  In what was the one of the ugliest series of NBA basketball finas, the Lakers pulled away victorious from last night.  Lost in the roller coaster emotion of this series was the level of ugliness of the 7 games between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Boston Celtics.

 Last night’s exemplified that ugliness: Superb defenses coupled with equally bad offenses.  Ugly, atrocious, hideous.

Here is what we were treated to:

• Players on both teams repeatedly missing OPEN mid range jumpers.
• Players (especially on Lakers) shooting free-throws at a measly 50% accuracy
• Kobe reverting to vintage self in first half: Forcing shots against double & triple teams.
• Rajon Rondo shooting 15-footers no better than anyone reading this article right now.  (And that may be an insult to the readers. Sorry)
• Lamar Odom hesitant to take shots from the outside.
• Celtic players putting on a clinic on how to miss point-blank range lay-ups.
• The list goes on and on….

 This is not a game that’d be placed on display in the museum of Modern Art anytime soon.  A game uglier than watching the interlaced previews of the Karate-Kid remake where Jackie Chan has to use Kung fu (not karate, btw) to rough up 11 year olds.   The entire series displayed pathetic offenses, and that’s just how it went. 

 Nevertheless, the Lakers won!  Nothing else matters now.  They reached down deep inside and emerged victorious after putting forth a gutsy effort.  They beat their arch nemisis and most hated rivals, the Boston Celtics. 

The Parade is set for Monday!

  I do realize most of the blog readers do not care about basketball, (or sports in genera)l perhaps.  However, I’ll be resuming normal blog activity, writing articles on dating and such.  The past two weeks have been emotionally draining, and if you were a Los Angeles Laker or Boston Celtic fan, you’d probably echo those setiments. 

Anyhow, the NBA Finals are over.  Shall resume  normal programming soon.

New awesome articles to come!  Even Pau Gasol is excited!

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New Blog Articles? YES!!

Cameron

Kobe Bean Bryant ONLY had 9 shot attempts at the basket last night.  Yet he controlled the flow of the game while only scoring 13 points, facilitating and dishing out 7 assists.

Laker Big Men:

Pao Gasol: 25 points, 11 Rebounds,

A. Bynum: 21 points, 11 Rebounds.

Results: Lakers build a 30 point lead, cruise to a 24-point victory and Kobe gets to rest during the entire 4th quarter.  Well, add to that the fact that the entire team played with a high level of energy and a sense of urgency.  Took only  fourteen 3-point-shot attempts instead of 28.  All of that means…. Easy victory.

Will Kobe ever become the guy who puts the team before his selfish needs?  Will he continue to do what he did last night?  We shall see…

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If you live in the U.S, then you probably couldn’t help but hear about the Ben Roethlisberger case in the past 2 weeks.  He is a two-time superbowl Champ NFL Quarterback for the Steelers who’s been in hot water due to sexual assault allegations.   If you’re the kind of person who frequents bars/nightclubs, this story is fascinating.  It’s even more intriguing from a perspective of social psychology.

Initially, I thought that perhaps Ben was a bit of a douchebag going around exposing his genitals, but after reading the details I’ve changed my mind.  Keep in mind that I am by no means a Pittsburgh Steeler fan.

Here is what Happened according written statements turned in by the various girls involved.

Ben Roethlisberger, his friend, along with his personal Bodyguards are out frequenting college Bars in Georgia.
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Job Perks

Why? That’s where the hot chicks are. They’re fun, want to hang out, and don’t carry tons of baggage or attitude.  [By the way, Ben let himself go, and got really fat!]

Sequence of Events:

-         Ben & pals are at a club called, “Velvet.”

-         The accuser and friends come and introduce themselves to him

-         Ben meets girl with “D.T.F” necklace

-         They tell Ben, “D.T.F.” stands for “Down to Fuck.”

-         They chat for a while until bar gets busy.

-         Ben and pals leave the bar to go party at the “Brick.”

-         Ben leaves Brick and goes the “Capital.”  (From what it sounds like)

-         Ben is having a good time, buying people shots, taking photos with randoms Joes

-         Accuser shows up.

-         Ben meets her privately in bathroom, takes his cock out.

-         Her friends want to get her, but bodyguard acts as wingman.  Stops them.

Girls leave disenchanted.  Call the Police Later.

The weird thing about this is that encounters such as the one above are not all that uncommon in clubs.  There are a subset of women who are willing to have sex with if you have /power/money/fame or a combination of.

There is even a dating coach out there, (whose name rhymes with Brad P.) who blatanly advises guys to invite girls to a bathrooms.  His routine is to ask the girl if she’d like to watch him jerk-off, and then he proceeds to take his penis out and masturbate.  [No, I am not making this shit up.]   Point is people react as though they’re horrified but this sort of stuff occurs  more often than people think.

The difference is that Ben is a rich & famous athlete, and not too bright.  (Which I’ll get to in a second.)

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The most honest testimony seems to come from Victoria Garofalo.  In her written statement:

Some time later it came up that [Name redacted]’s name tag (from a birthday earlier) said d.t.f on it (a joke between a few of us) but Ben said he didn’t know what d.t.f. meant so we told him it means “down to fuck” and he said “I’m not d.t.f. but I like to fuck girls.”

WTF?  [That means "What the fuck" in case Ben is a blog reader.]

What does that mean?  “I am not DTF, but I like to fuck girls.”

As opposed to what?  Horses?  Goats?  Exhaust pipes?

While you gotta appreciate Ben’s honesty, you also can see clearly that Ben doesn’t really get it all that well.  His response echoes that of the cro-magnon man.  “Grrr…. Me likey, fuckey fuckey, girls.”   It’s also terrible game.  If Ben were an average fat guy in the bar, they’d laugh and walk away at that reply.  “Umm, errr, ummm, I am not D.T.F, but I like to fuck girls.”

By the way, wearing a necklace that has initials that mean: “Down To Fuck.” Wow, does that open a whole can of worms.

Case Closed.  This is where the District Attorney  should start laughing, and telling people, “Cute story.  But I’ve got actual criminals prosecute.”

Basically, a very small category of women would wear such a necklace at that age.  (We ain’t talking about a 42 year old cougar here.)   My buddy Jon wrote a great summary post on “Queenbees and Wannabes: The evolution of club girl psychology.”

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Regina - D.T.F

There is a very specific type of woman who wear this necklace: She is the Queenbee type that Jon explains in his summary post.  An attractive social climber who is sort of at the top of her local food chain.  Why? Because she can afford to wear that necklace without repercussions from her fellow sorority sisters.    This is key.  Not every girl can wear that necklace without massive repercussions of being called a slut, ho-bag, or loose.

So from that tidbit, we know she is attractive, popular, and a social climber.

Eyewitness Victoria Garofalo is the only girl who has any remorse about the evening.  She concludes her statement with the following:

And more talking went on between us all until they left the bar.  Then I seperated with [Name redacted] and the other girls and went with another group and everything else happened & I was told about it this morning and felt I needed to give my statement.

Looking back and hearing all of the details it seems to me that it was a set-up and so I think this needed to be told.”

Victoria feels it was a set-up by her own sorority sisters.   Ben does leave the bar.  He goes somewhere else where the accuser and friend catch up with him.   Massively drunk, (with prob a fake ID?) since she is only 20, (drinking age is 21 in America.  I know this disappoints you Europeans), donning her “Down to Fuck Necklace,” she does Find Ben again, this time at a club called the Brick.  Next Account:

Ann Marie Lubatti writes:

“[Name redacted], Nicole Bianofiore, Victoria Garofalo and I arrived at Velvet at 11:15.  We introduced ourselves to Ben Roethlisberger and took pictures.  Ben, his 2 bodyguards, and 1 friend left Velvet.  After about 20 minutes [Name redacted], Nicole, Victoria, and I went to the Brick.  Ben was sitting at the bar, so we talked to him for about another 30-45 minutes.

Ben, his 2 bodyguards, and 1 friends left when the Brick started getting crowded.  After about 10 minutes [Name redacted], Nicole, AMA and I went to Capital.  The backroom was curtained off and Ben was back there with about 15-20 girls.

He was bying everyone shots and just talking and taking pictures with everyone.  At this point he was noticeably intoxicated.

 OK, Ben may not have tight game, but the dude gets an “A” for being a chill motherf*cker.  He is buying everyone shots and interacting with people.  Living in LA, one common trend you’ll hear about celebrities is not only they don’t buy you shots, they pretend you don’t exist.  As in, they won’t make eye contact even if you’re standing right next to them for 10 minutes, bleeding.  (Ok, to be fair, some may be afraid of falling into the Ben trap, but then we’re talking about buying shots for dudes!)

Ann Marie continues:

I saw [Name redacted] and Ben talking from across the bar.  Then I saw one of Ben’s bodyguards come up to [Name redacted] and guide her to a side door.

About 2 minutes later I saw Ben walk back there.  I immediately went up to the other bodyguard and said “this is right. My friend is back there with Ben.  She needs to come back right now.”

So this is what’s fascinating:

1. “D.T.F” Girl and friends meet Ben at Club VELVET.
2. Ben leaves, and goes to club “BRICK.”  They find him again
3. Ben leaves, and goes to club, “CAPITAL CITY.”  Where they find him again…

Granted, in college bars, people bounce in and out of clubs all of the time, and it’s not uncommon to run into the same people at a different venue.  However, to repeatedly and persistently approach Ben who is now wasted on booze and discombobulated after buying half the bar shots, and meeting at least 50 different hot girls in 3 different venues, smells like a bit of an agenda.  Wouldn’t you agree?

Well, the drunken Ben at this point starts following the “Mystery Method” that perhaps he saw on VH-1.  He isolates his “Target”, but doesn’t want to wait 7 hours, so he takes his cock out right then and there.  Then again, maybe it was just common sense.   His 2 bodyguards act like the ultimate wingmen, and from there, the details become fuzzy.

It’s hard to determine what the agenda was exactly.  Ben seems like a dude who likes to party and drink, but doesn’t exercise the best judgment.  (He is also the same guy who refused to wear a helmet, crashed a motorcycle and paid the consequences for an entire season.)  Gifted with great athletic talent but poor intellect off of the football field, he is a simple man.

I doubt Ben will ever be the guy sampling gourmet French wine aged in particular caskets while having special filet Mignon.  He’ll guzzle cheap beer on top of a sloppy hamburger and follow it up with Alka-seltzer or Tums’s antiacid meds, while expression his carnal desires.  But a rapist?  Nah. I doubt it.

Perhaps, the best summary to this was the comment left by a girl in reaction to this.  Brutally honest, it’s also intuitively insightful from a female perspective.  She captured it best:

It seems to me like he has always been out for a good time and all the girls are out for a good time until their egos get shattered! Its kinda like your boyfriend has the biggest d*ck in the world until you break up then he was the worst mistake of your life.

All these girls wanted him and when they found out they weren’t the best they thought oh I’ll get you back watch this and now his career and his reputation is ruined! All accounts of the story are different all the players are twisted. there are no criminal charges in ANY CASE

It’s all fun and games til your ego gets hurt.

  Sequels are hard to pull off, especially when the original was such an overwhelming success.   I write this with hesitation as I know how much work Lionel Richie must have put forth (not to mention how many gigantic egos to juggle) in order to produce the new video.   Watching it, however, brings about a glaringly different perspective.  Not sure if it’s a sad commentary on the music scene of today, or just the fact that I relate to a different generation musically speaking. I’d like to think I am somewhat objective to the matter as well. 

 The piece is called “Artists for Haiti” and that’s where the first incongruence starts.  If you’re going to have a title that begins with “Artists,” then why are you throwing random bubble-gum puppets who can’t write a song, compose music, or play an instrument?  To compound this, you have the inevitable issue that it will undoubtedly be compared to the original.

 And yes, there is an original.  It featured some of the greatest musicians who appealed to a cross-over of generations with careers spanning several decades.  Basically, a group that was comprised of legends in Rock and Roll, R &B, Pop, and Country.

A list that featured , Bruce Springsteen, Billy Joel, Paul Simon, and Bob Dylan from the Singer Songwriter Category.  Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder, and Lionel Richie from the R&B, Michael Jackson (the King of Pop back then), Kenny Rogers & Willie Nelson from Country.  They even threw Steve Perry of Journey for his unique vocal talents.  (The list goes on… )

  Watching the new version brings about mixed emotions.  On the one hand, you have your wallet out to help the people of Haiti. On the other hand, after watching the new video, you’re tempted to put your wallet back in your pocket.

It sort of reminds you of the NBA “Dream Team” in 1992.  It was called the Dream Team because it would be a dream to see Magic, Bird, and Jordan play together.  Then they decided to piggyback off of the original Dream-Team to use the marketing angle to sell future “Dream Teams.” 

Future “Dream Teams” resembled more of a nightmare consisting of ball-hogging, vastly overpaid, self-absorbed players contributing to the debacle that was the U.S. Team that lost to Greece a few years ago.  After losing to that Greek team without any recognizable players, they learned their lesson.  Now, they just call it “US Men’s basketball.”

Same scenario here.  Why not just write a NEW Song for Haiti?  Something completely different and unique onto its own?  It wouldn’t be compared to the original, and it’d present even more of the flavor of the people in the current video.  At that point, you could try and suspend your disbelief to think  that this current cast actually cares.  You may even get over the Michael Jackson flashback that is solely put in there to appeal to your sense of nostalgia and create hysteria.  

 You have to ask the intriguing question:  If Michael Jackson hadn’t died last year, would the current alive version of Michael Jackson have been asked to be in this?   Well, something to ponder.

 I suppose if you had never seen the original, or if you’re unfamiliar with Bob Dylan, Ray Charles, The Boss (Bruce), Billy Joel, and Paul Simon, then the new version will suit you fine.  If you’re familiar, then that feeling you have in the pit of your stomach, it’s also known as nausea. 

Misguided or not, it’s my belief that generally artists are compassionate and empathetic people.  Therefore, I do believe that the original cast did care to make a difference.  Some members of the new cast look like people who were told by their teams of advisors this’d be a good photo opportunity. 

 The new version contains some artists but it also contains a whole bunch of questionable people that shake up your bullshit detector harder than the earthquake which shook Haiti.  Your reaction well may be:   “Seriously?  You’re kidding me, right?   These are the pretentious people trying to convince me to donate money? The ones who’d ask their manager or a member of their entourage to throw a trench coat over a Haitian if they actually saw one?”

  “Hey!  He was looking at me in a creepy way…….”         And really, who wants a homeless starving Haitian staring at you when you’re snorting fine grade cocaine?  Total Buzz-kill.

Anyhow, if you’re musically inclined and can appreciate more than what’s just popular at the given moment, you can compare and contrast the two videos for yourself.

 The Original Video Meant to Raise Awareness for Africa: 

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  Below is the New Version Designed to Raise awareness in case you just came out of a Coma. (Warning: May entice you to go back into your coma)

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I clearly realize the good intentions of wanting to help the people of Haiti.  What baffles me is the timing and the context.  In the 80s, music legends got together to raise awareness for the crisis in Africa. 

 Do we need more awareness about the Haiti crisis?  Who doesn’t know about the Earthquake that hit Haiti recently? Is there anyone out there in United States or other Industrialized Nations who really doesn’t know about what happened? 

  As for me, I donated a small amount when the original Television fund-raising program aired over a month ago.  Maybe I’m a sucker.    Given that Haiti has one of the most corrupt governments in the galaxy, you wonder how much of the money donated by Americans actually reaches the people of Haiti?  10 cents out of a Dollar?

 My buddy Jay told me about this and I found it hilarious.  It’s too good not to share.  And the timing is awesome!  Fits right into the theme of the last two articles about the Guru Epidemics.

 It’s a spoof very reminiscent of self-help gurus.  To truly appreciate this clip, you have to have had some involvement with self-help and I am guessing most of my blog readers fall into that category. 

 A joy to watch the :39 second mark of the video : His telling of the origins of how he founded the system majestic hawk in his field of vision…  While totally ridiculous, I’ve seen too many people present this sort of thing as serious fodder for thought.   

 Enjoy the Hawk Panther system, and remember, we’re animals too:

 The key is to combine the freedom & majesty of the Hawk, and the Strength & Instincts of the Panther.

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Will the real Ryan Bingham stand up?

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Two weeks ago, I had a chance to see the new movie “Up In the Air” with a female friend of mine.  While I enjoyed enjoyed watching the film, I also realized that I’d never really want to see it again.  Why?  There is something off about it that I couldn’t put my finger on immediately.  Then I realized the issue as the reason dawned me.

It’s that the film deceives and confuses us with George Clooney.
I’ll explain.  I like a lot of Clooney’s movies and I like that he understands his best assets.  He understands what any leading man type of actor knows:  To bring a piece of himself into each character because that’s what makes a good leading man.

Either way, I guess I’d qualify as a Clooney fan.  I do enjoy his movies, (and had he not been in this film, I would not have paid money to see it in the cinema), but probably even more so, I am a  fan of the fact that he uses his celebrity for good causes.  Whether he is raising funds for victims of 9/11 or taking a dangerous trip to Dafur with his farther to raise awareness, he does try to create some sort of a positive socio-political difference.  He seems genuine and sincere so it’d be difficult even for a cynic to dislike George.

OK, with that in mind, let’s get to the movie and Clooney’s chracter.  He plays Ryan Bingham,  a loner character who nearly travels on a plane every single day of the year.  His fear of responsilbity is so great that he doesn’t own one piece of furniture in his apartment nor  does he have any friends.  He has completely neglected his family, his nieces and nephews, and the only thing that matters to him is accruing more Airline miles.  On top of all that, his occupation is to fire people from their jobs every day of the year.  That’s Bingham in a nutshell.

Halfway through the film, I realize that I really dislike this Character.  Ryan Bingham in some ways can be seen as despicable.  If he were walking the sidewalks of NYC and a grand Piano landed on top of his head,you really wouldn’t care all that much about it as an audience member.

There is the underlying problem.  We as audience members like George Clooney.  There is nothing likable about a guy obsessed with airline miles who has forsaken and forgotten his family and everyone else he has ever known, finding refuge sitting in airplanes and airports.  We don’t care what  happens to him.

The ONLY Reason that we sit through this movie watching this character is because it’s being played by George Clooney.  Anyone else, and some of us would walk out of the theater.  But we like George. He is likable.  We are not watching Ryan, we are watching George, or Danny friggin’ Ocean.

Again, you can’t dislike a guy like that.  It’s that Clooney has an interesting quality: He is inherently likable. You could say the same about the veteran actor Jack Lemmon, (who passed away recently).   You feel sorry for him at the end of Glengarry Glenross.  According to Jack Lemmon himself, you’re supposed to hate this “Levine” character as he is a bit of a low life snakeoil salesman, but again,  it’s difficult  to dislike Lemmon.  You feel sympathetic towards him.

So back to “Up In the Air.”

Depending on which perspective you look at it, Clooney is either miscast, or then again, casting him is a stroke of casting genius.   As you watch the film, you find yourself apathetic towards Ryan Bingham.  You think to yourself, “Why am I wasting two hours of my life watching the story of some douchebag with no redeeming value?” Then it hits you.  You’re watching it because it’s Clooney, not Bingham.

We do NOT continue to watch this film becaue we are interested in Ryan Bingham.  We watch because we are interested in George Clooney. Think about this and you’ll find it to be true.  You may have thought you were watching it because of Ryan, but you really were not.   So on the one hand, it’s casting genius but then, it’s miscasting when you feel empty walking out of the theater.

The movie should have gone the other way.  They should have cast someone who is inherently dis-likable: Someone like James Woods!  (Not necessarily Woods, but someone who carries the same vibe & demeanor)

We find James Woods objectionable even when he plays good guys!! Something about his demeanor speaks to our subconscious.  It’s as if we inherently know Woods is a prick.  We’ve all had a boss or a teacher or someone who was a complete prick and James Woods represents all of them in our psyche.  The impact of the movie would have come to fruition if this story followed literature laws and learned something redeemable about becoming someone a little less self-absorbed.   And at the end, the character has to die.

As it stands, “Ryan Bingham” writes a great recommendation letter for the younger woman in the film, representing his selfless act, but it’s not enough.  His act of redemption needs to resonate with us more.    My female friend chose to see it as “He’s turned over a new leaf, he is a new person now.”  Yet, she was unaffected by the character as well.  I realize the angle of a scorned and bitterman who has engulfed himself in work ready to finally open up emotionally…. but the film doesn’t explore this character’s past.  Hence, there has to be something substantial to make an impact.

It’s how I’d done it.  Yes, to some it’s cliche, but the only way to make character of Ryan Bingham impactful on the audience, is to kill his character.  It’s the same reason Jack Nicholson’s McMurphy is destroyed at the end of “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s nest” and (unlike Bingham) we the audience really actually like McMurphy.

In this instance, if the point of the movie is to realize how so many people live boring mundane and self-absorbed lives, then his character needs to be killed in order to create a disturbance in the psyche of the audience emotionally. The movie more impactful if the selfish discpicle scrooge is killed off at the end, but does one heroric act that makes a difference, and allows him to realize this sort of eiphany…

The way it’s made, you leave the theater with an apathetic feeling, “Ahh, could take it or leave it.”  The bit of sympathy you feel for his character is only felt because you like Clooney’s charm, mannerisms and sincereity.  The sympathy, hence, is really not for Ryan Bingham which is the flaw of this well intentioned, well directed, and well acted film.

So there you have the mixed emotions. The film is well acted, and well directed and yet you realize that you were completely apathetic towards professional loner, “Ryan Bingham,” except that you were watching George Clooney.

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Up In The Air, As it relates to Dating.

Anything useful regarding dating and attraction as far as this movie is concerned?  Indirectly, yes.  It’s the concept of “Banking on your likability.”

A lot of guys seek dating advice from various sources, but along the way, sometimes they lose their way.  They become too preoccupied with trying to learn how to use techniques for every situation but they lose sight of banking on their best assets.  Ever heard the expression “Put Your Best Foot Forward?”  It’s an important notion in being more successful in dating.  It’s learning to enhance your strengths, or building on your best traits.  Different people are gifted with various traits, whether it’s intelligence, a great sense of humor, superior athletic ability and so forth.

You can learn to lead with your best foot forward, displaying your best assets.  You have to first discover what that is, be it charm, charisma, passion, or whatever.  Then you must learn to utilize that trait as your proverbial “Best Foot Forward” as you turn into a strength that works for you.

 I dare say this one is a treat.  Check out the latest podcast I did with Jon (AKA Sinn.)  It’s one of the best ones I’ve done to date. Entertaining, engaging, and informative, we discuss Johnny Soporno’s antics, tell stories of his shenanigans while hanging out with him, not to mention discussing cults, “cougars” and a new opinion opener that is sure to get conversations started with women.  (We even got in 2 minutes about Kobe and Lebron!)

 I am done discussing Soporno on the Blog for now.  It made for good comedy and I actually feel like I did some good talking about it.  There is a famous quote that is often attribute to Abraham Lincoln, but really originates from a female poet named Ella Wheeler Wilcox from the late 1800s. 

She writes:

 ”To sin by silence, when we should protest, makes cowards out of men.”

 How true that is in various areas of life.  Exposing Johnny’s bullshit has also lifted a burden.  I’ve done my part to bring awareness to the issue, and I am disassociated from him officially.    If anyone reading this blog feels like he’s receiving good advice from him, by all means go for it.  I am not going to talk you out of it. I am not going to argue with you to try and explain how much worse off you shall be.  You’re an adult, you make your own decision in life.

 I’ve done more than my part to raise awareness regarding what this guy is teaching out there and what he is advocating. 

If you Spread them, They Will Pay.   That’s my personal take on Johnny’s “Paradigm Shift” and if you listen, you’ll know exactly why.  (And you’ll laugh your ass off.)

Enjoy the Podcast here.

http://sinnsofattraction.blogspot.com/2009/12/if-you-spread-them-they-will-pay-cam.html 

 Working on a great Blog post soon to be released answering your questions as to why some women/people disdain your good deeds…..  Stay tuned.

 They have a new album called “The Circle” and the major single on it is called “We Weren’t Born to Follow.”  In the Spirit of “Living On A Prayer,” and “It’s My Life” comes another song that promises hope and a melodic chant for getting off of your ass.

 A throw back to the good old days, we even get a quick guitar solo from Richie Sambora sporting his usual Fender six string.  Tico does his usual fine job of aggressive work on the drums….

 Yes, to some of you, it may be cheesy or too much of a “Good feeling” type of song, but even the most cynical jaded bastards amongst you will have to rock out to this one, and who knows, maybe even appreciate the image of Chinese Student standing up to the tanks at Tianamen square. (And yes I get that it’s not sophisticated songwriting, but it doesn’t stop it from being fun and motivational.)

 Given the current rough economic times, there are a lot of people who are out of jobs, or have had their homes foreclosed.  Songs like this help get ya through the day sometimes…. (And my new favorite song to listen to before hitting the gym.)

So here is some optimism, especially for the sensitive ones who were flabbergasted over the Johnny stuff. 

 We Weren’t Born To Follow lyrics
Songwriters: Bon Jovi, Jon; Sambora, Richie;