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Dear Cameron-

To be honest, I found your blog by mistake when I was searching for answers about why women flake.  Google brought me to your blog and while I didn’t like (or rather didn’t wish to believe) your response, I kept reading and am very glad I did.  The reason I wasn’t responsive at first was my own frustration and being tired of being rejected, and your content forced me to accept that it is what it is and there isn’t a grand conspiracy of women trying to make me fail.

Your blog has given me a huge number of answers, and restored a lot of my confidence.  I fell specifically for David D’s materials, but I kept returning them once I kept hearing non-answers in his programs, plus I HATED cocky funny.

I haven’t bought your program yet, but I intend to sometime in the future.  I’m fascinated by the different personality types especially with your post on the Myer-Briggs test.  My result was “INTJ – The Scientist” which I suspect many of your readers to be.  My question for you is that since I believe that many (if not most) of your readers are “INTJ” would you write more blog posts on the personality types (or archetypes) that would relate well with “INTJ”?

I was fascinated with your series on the party chick, but I think you’re too focused on this archetype.  If that’s what your audience wants, then that’s your call, but I’m voicing my opinion here.   I also have a question for me personally.  Reading through I believe that the personality I’d like best in a woman is “ENFJ – The Giver”.

My second question to you is where can I find this personality (or your equivalent archetype) of woman?  My biggest problem is that I feel comfortable with women, I’m hardly afraid to ask them out, I just need to MEET more of them.  I’m a home body, I hate going to bars and clubs to meet women, and I really don’t want to waste my time dating women I know I wouldn’t connect with.

I admit, I’m looking for a relationship because it’s been awhile for me, and I’d like to get involved with someone of quality.  I read your “Casino of Dating“ post which was brilliant and I’d love to throw some house parties, but I’d like to find where an ENFJ woman would hang around so I can invite them.

I’ve only met one in recent memory, so it’s tricky for me to tell.  Obviously there wouldn’t be a “meeting place” for women that are givers (ENFJ), but I just wish to know more on how to spot them.  Even if you wrote a piece about this type of woman, I’d be incredibly grateful. I’d like more information on this subject Cam, and I know you won’t dissapoint.

Your loyal fan, -Ben

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Hey Ben,

Thanks for the very honest and sincere letter.   I am glad Google pointed you the right way. Lol

You’re correct in your assessment of my articles.  There are probably a number of articles on Party Chicks and how to get those type of chicks.  That’s the type most blog readers struggle with, and it’s the type of woman most commonly found in nightclubs and bars.  I’ve gotten request/emails from quite a few different guys to write about the type of girls who are actually WORTH dating and so the next article is going to cover one such particular type.

I don’t know that it’ll specifically discuss the “ENFJ” personality type but I’ll discuss a type of woman I’ll dub as “Nurturers and Givers.”   You may not like going to bars and clubs, and the amazing thing is, neither does this archetype.

After the next article, you’ll have a good understanding of the type, and you’ll know when you have met one.  There are behavioral and conversational clues that once you know are so obvious, you’ll probably think, “Wow, why didn’t I notice that before!”

Thanks for reading the blog, and spread the word regarding it when you can.

Cameron

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Building Attraction Secrets Ebook

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Hey Cameron,

My names Eric and I just wanted to thank you for helping me out with my personal evolution into being a guy who… well, whatever… is a real guy, I guess.

I gradually climbed my way from a place of ‘no skills’, through doing 600 approaches to a guy who was dating and banging a few different girls. From my POV that was a massive improvement. More than that, I felt competent that I had the skillset to never be without a date again, if I chose.

Listening to Stephen Nash and yourself – which I know about from the podcasts you did with Sinn, Kirkey, and Nash, which I listened to over and over again, literally laughing my ass off multiple times – I took the next step, which was to ‘de-game-ify’ myself and become authentic.

By nature I’m a painfully intellectual guy, doing my PhD right now, and it was through listening to what you’ve said and reading your blog, along with Nash and McKay, that I’ve gradually been able to own up to this strange position. The reality that not everyone connects, and that that is just fine.

Now I date a lot less than before, paradoxically, but each one is more meaningful and closer to what I actually want, which is a girlfriend. With each girl the quality and connection become better, and things are less forced. I am able to have the experience of having butterflies in my stomach, and genuinely caring for the girl, but not being scared at all - in fact being quite direct, and now she is the one that is nervous (the most recent chick, I mean). This is what I always wanted.

Your articles and perspective were invaluable to me, especially how you spoke the truth about club skanks and demographics.

Your voice resonates with unmistakeable integrity, and you give guys an example on how to remain true to themselves – instead of offering themselves up as slaves to pussy and female validation. I wish you would do more podcasts with Sinn, since just listening to you two has me laughing my ass off, with an enormous smile on my face.

Keep up the good work
Eric

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Eric,

Thanks for the good words.  You probably best represent the demographic this blog is meant for: Intelligent guys who need a little boost in their dating life.  I highly doubt my blog appeals to the average Neanderthal, and truth be told, I don’t want to appeal to that segment.  Each time I sit down to write an article, I envision a certain audience which you well represent.

There is an important piece to all of this that you have ALREADY Figured out: Improve your dating life while reducing the need for the validation of women.  Being a “slave to pussy” is unfortunately what a lot of seduction-advice breeds.  The sad thing is that you may have NOT been that way when you first discovered the so-called “Seduction Community.”  However, along the way you adopt the perspective and mindset  of the dating “Gurus” who teach dating advice which very much encompasses what you described in your letter.

It’s important to be able to gain confidence and a skill-set where you’re able to effectively FLIRT with women while being able to rediscover what it was that made you enjoy the individual interactions with people to begin with.

Glad you enjoyed the various podcasts.  I enjoyed doing those.  At the moment, I don’t have any plans for doing podcasts that relate to the seduction community.  If I do more comedic podcasts, it’ll  be more mainstream and wouldn’t have to do anything with dating.

Take care

Cameron

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Quick Primer: There is a “seduction community” out there where “Pick Up Artists” and their rivals discuss various methods of attracting women, picking up chicks, and getting laid.  For the most part, I try to avoid it like a plague.  Yes, I know that I’ve fraternized with the head honchos and the “Who’s who” of the community, but I’ve moved on from it.  Except for a handful of people I keep in touch with, I avoid the individuals, events, and whatever else that is community related.

I still receive loads of emails from various guys who want to ask me questions ranging from a situation with a particular girl to “Who’s full of shit?”  to “What do you think of this drama?”  The latest email tells me there is a debate between Mystery, Erik Von Markovic as seen on VH-1’s Pick Up Artist, versus a guy who calls himself Mode One, otherwise known as Roger Allen Currie.

While I am sure enthused folk will be listening with more glee than if they were watching an Obama vs. McCain Presidential debate,  I will be happily skipping it..

However, a lot of you want to know which system is better and why.  What should you do?  Who is right?  Whom should you follow?  What’s more effective?

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Whose advice will help YOU attract girls?

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I am going to give you a crash course right now!  Brace yourself.  Maybe go grab a cup of coffee, a beer, or beverage of your choice and come back.  Here is what’s going to happen:

Erik Von Markovic will promote Mystery Method:  A 9-step linear system where you have to stick to very rigid rules.  You can’t be direct with women, nor can you show interest until you have “Demonstrated Higher Value.”  (It never assumes you have higher value Basically, you’re a jerkoff who has to prove himself first.)

You should always start indirect, then transition later.   Then, it gets more complicated. If you see a proverbial “9”, you can’t approach her right away.  You ought to first social proof yourself and he has a myriad of techniques for that as well.

Roger Alan Currie will promote his Mode One:  My basic understanding is that he believes men communicate in 3 or 4 modes.  Mode One guys are the ones who are super-direct, and there rest are chumps and dickheads.  (or something like that.)  His mode-one communication can be extremely direct, graphic, and sexual.

So which is better?  What’s better for YOU?   Both systems have pros and cons.   OK, here is a quick breakdown, and believe me, I could write volumes on this shit.  But I did say it’s a crash course.

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• Mystery Method:

Pros: Encourages you to approach.  Gives you a few opinion-openers and such in order to enable you to start up conversations with women.  It gives you some ideas of structure and a whole bunch of contrived conversational topics you can talk about with girls.

Cons:

1.   Always assumes you’re lesser than the girl.  You’re basically some schlemiel loser with little or no value who has to always be proving himself.  Limited to one way of thinking, it does not allow you to approach directly, or flirt overtly.  It does not assume the possibility that at a party, a woman might actually like you just for whatever reason.  Imagine that:  A Girl can actually like you for your personality without you having to run “9 Steps of Game.”

Through conditioning, it forces to man to see women as an enemy to be conquered.  Even if you don’t have this belief, by practicing this method, your subconscious will adopt the above destructive beliefs.

2.  Also, It doesn’t take time to train your attributes.  Example: While it may provide you with some rehearsed stories to tell women, it does not teach you HOW to be an engaging storyteller.

3.  In the extreme, it may make you a basket case, and possibly mentally ill.

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• Mode One:

Pros: Encourages you to have more balls.  It gives you an opportunity a different side where you’re more ballsy and display more guts.  It encourages you to be more masculine and let’s face it, if you showed more balls and were more gutsy, you’d have more success.

Cons:

1. Limits you to certain type of women.   With statements like, “I’d like to tap that ass”, you’re limiting yourself to a very specific type, and I think you know exactly what I mean.    There is a time and place for that sort of thing, but this method does not teach you SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE.  Social intelligence is one of the most essential attributes most dating-advice seekers lack.

2.  Much like Mystery method, it does not really train your attributes.  (Would you care to guess who actually DOES teach attributes? Take a wild guess…. Come on.  Indulge me.)

3.  Also being direct is limiting in some ways.  There are times where it’s not socially pleasant or conducive.  In a small social gathering, you can’t tell every girl you find attractive that you want to bang them silly.  Maybe I’m old fashioned but having a little social conversation might be a better way to go.  Maybe learning how to talk about casual stuff while flirting through your subtext IS A BETTER Way to reach women.

In the extreme, it’ll make you a rude, inconsiderate, socially maladjusted, prick who is not getting invited back to parties or social gatherings.

Just remember that you can opt to be a cool, confident guy with high self-esteem without coming off as a socially unpleasant weirdo.

Do you really want to be that outcast of society?

Any Questions?

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Both systems are limited, and both systems are dogmatic.  Neither one really takes the time to enable you to improve your social skills too much.  Each will improve you a little at bit first.  Think of it as a performance-enhancing supplement..  Small doses will improve your game, but after that small dose, you’re going to want more.  More of it doesn’t make you better.  It just means kidney failure.

Both systems will have staunch supporters on Internet forums defending it with the zealotry of a Born again Christian or a suicide bomber. They’re all a bit misguided and that they support one particular method so strongly should speak volumes:  That they don’t see the limitations of these methods only means they’re not that successful themselves nor do they completely understand the social dynamics.   It means run for the hills.

Nevertheless, follow whatever “Method” your heart desires.   Enjoy the podcast should you listen.  If you have questions or are confused, come back to this article.  It’ll be hear to clear away confusions. (And feel free to provide feedback comments if it serves as entertainment.)   If you’re looking at the podcast as a means to help guide you in the future, then you’re already in a world of shit.

At the end of the day, if you want to become better at attracting women, take a hard look at yourself. Be honest.  What area do you need improvements in?  Look at from a macro level.  A perspective from afar (as opposed to openers and phone number tricks)

There are three major areas that factor in.  It was one of the first articles I wrote on this Blog.  Here it is again:

What “Game” Really Is

From that outline, you can determine in which areas you need to make drastic improvements.  You do that and work to improve; you’ll become more attractive.  You get sucked into methods and such, and you get lost in oblivion of “Pick-Up,” a vicious cycle which you’ll chasing your own tail, trying to figure out why your interactions with women aren’t worth talking about.

Keep sight of the goal: It’s to improve your social skills and improve your self esteem.

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 A blog reader sent me an email recently which was insightful.  He and I have had a few email exchanges over the last few months, and I am glad he finally was able to put all of the over-analyzing of tactics behind him. He sent me the following email:

Cameron,
Thanks for all your help man.

I had a discussion with a friend of mine from Britain. He fucking hates the PUAs and mostly all guys who sell this kind of stuff. You’re one of the few guys who’s real in this whole thing…

Stephen Nash also is kinda ok.  Barry sometimes makes real disgusting/weird jokes. I’m doing a treatment now from the psychiatrist for some issues of mine but … no more community stuff. Definetely through with it. I’ll go with Zan’s openness and discretion + the stuff from your blog + being fucking myself + GYM, and living my passions. No more BEE ASS.
If I ever become a guy that has it all together .. you’ve contributed to that enough. :)

Thanks man.
Leon

Hey Leon.  It’s not a matter of “IF” you become a guy who has it together. It’s a matter of when, and that’ll happen when your purpose and your sense of who you are [identity] is solidified.   Basically, it’s a matter of knowing where you want to go, and having a plan on how to get there. That sounds simple, but along the way, sometimes, we become distracted.

As for the dating arena, just focus on the basics.  Make progress checks of where you are.  In the recent article I posted regarding the 3 areas of dating advice:

1. Social Skills.
2. Social Intelligence.
3. Social Confidence.

(You can read that article here: 3 Areas of Dating Advice  Benefit)

Here is the issue for anyone who is in the same boat as Leon:    Too much advice from too many different sources creates confusion, and in case of Leon, it led to this “The World is Against me” mindset.  A mindset, where he is trying to figure out how to constantly one-up people, appear cooler than they are, and have a stronger frame.    It’s not a healthy way to go about your day.  As far as dating advice is concerned: There is an over abundance of it to the point where it creates mass confusion and paralysis.

I’ve remained outspoken about whom I recommend.  I’d highly recommend you take a look at my stuff on developing your attributes and foundational skills.  Social intelligence, conversational skills, story-telling! Guess what?  Being socially well-adjusted is going to always benefit you for LIFE.  (Not just in dating, but at work and social circles.)

I also highly recommend Sinn’s material from a micro-perpsective of trying to figure out your sticking point.  Stephen Nash has good material on how to get a girlfriend, build social circles, and a social life.  Zan has some really good stuff on overall macro-perspective on the process, but too much Zan will have you checking out of reality and landing you in fantasyland.  Steve P. does great individual hypnotherapy in helping guys (and women) get over their issues.

You may personally like or dislike any of the individuals above, but their material is good and helpful.  It also provides an overall picture.

OK, what if RIGHT NOW, you’re someone who has studied all of the above material and you’ve made no progress?  My first guess is that you’ve just read material as though it were a textbook in school.  You haven’t implemented one iota.  It’s as if you’ve read 7 books on the Martial Arts and still can’t throw one punch, because you haven’t practiced it.

What if you have some practice, made some gains, but still are overcome by massive anxiety, and feelings of discomfort?  Then, in my not-so-humble opinion, you have other issues besides “Game” that you probably should get worked on.  Get yourself fixed, then come for dating advice.

Dating Advice from proper sources WORKS!  Far too many people have benefited from it, and so can you.  However, dating advice is just that: Dating Advice.  It’s not therapy.  Similarly therapy is not dating advice.  Keep each element in perspective.  When you start mixing these things is when you open yourself to hucksters and charlatans.

In this case, you’re the person most susceptible to quick-fixes that seem magical and sometimes are even cult like.  These gimmicks  include, but are not limited to: Spiritual-woo woo-forms of seduction, infatuation with Eckhart Tolle, utter infatuation with Tony Robbins, quick fix advice that says all you need to know to do is tell girls you want to fuck them, intrigue with NLP and trying to pattern people so they bend to your will, and other stuff that makes you weird, creepy, and will leave you deserted.  (Not to metion a plethora of marketers who are just blatant charlatans.)

Let me ask you this: If you broke your fibula (Shin bone) in the lower part of your leg…. I  mean a bad break where the f*cking bone is sticking out through your skin, you get the idea…  Would your choice be to go to a top notch surgeon from Harvard Medical School?   Or would you go to Eckhart Tolle, or to a car mechanic?

You have about as much business going to a dating-coach if you suffer from massive anxieties, paranoid thoughts, depression and such as you do going to a car mechanic for your broken leg.  Whatever your mode of therapy, fix the depression and such, then apply the dating-advice.

Anyhow, that’s just one person’s opinion.   [Oh, I can still see the dismay of my favorite English teacher in high school upon the words "In my Opinion."  He'd yell, "Of course, YOUR opinion!  It's your essay!  Whose opinion would it be?"]    Well, little does he know, I am able to channel wise beings from other galaxies who can share with  me such secrets.  OK, enough jokes.  Seriously, it’s my opinion.  Take it or leave it.  Get your shit fixed regardless.

If legit dating advice isn’t helping you make progress in your dating life, then you’re either not applying what you’ve learned, or you have deeper rooted issues. You’ll improve in general when you get the proper help, and the legit dating advice will even make more of an impact when you can apply it from a more secure place.

Cameron

Improve on the 3 areas mentioned in this article here: 16 CD Audio Course - Building Attraction with Women

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In the last two articles, (How underground advice makes you weird) I talked about two polar opposite ways of thinking.  One is clueless and the other resembles a sociopathic style of thinking where everything is analyzed to the nth degree.

How do you balance these two a blog reader asked?

First and foremost, your first objective ought to be improving your SOCIAL SKILLS, Social Intelligence and SOCIAL Confidence.     If you’re looking to improve your dating life, you probably need improvement in one or more of those areas.  Some guys need major improvement in all 3!!!

Take concepts and principles from the seduction community and apply them in a way that is socially pleasant.  Apply them in a way that makes sense in your world, your town, and your culture.

As a concrete example:

• Having a Strong Reality:

This is a fantastic concept.  It implies believing in yourself and believing in your ideal.  You remain steadfast and undeterred in those standards which you value.  Great idea!  Present a strong reality.   But then you wouldn’t go to a Christmas dinner party with your cock hanging out of your pants, would you?  “Hey, I have a strong reality, and it doesn’t bother me.”   Well, it bothers everybody else, and it’s not socially cool.

“Such a ridiculous example, Cameron!  Of course, I wouldn’t do that.”

Well, OK, a bit ridiculous, but is this too far off?

count Mexicula

(photo compliments of BKRS)

At least with the guy whose cock is hanging out, you can ask him to put it back in.  How do you make this guy normal again?  That’s fodder for another day.

Pictured above is a guy who  at some point lost touch with common sense and sensibilities. His emotional zeal for becoming a “Pick Up Artist” overpowered his brain’s logic and reason.  Granted, this can happen to any of us to some extent, but this dude took it to another level.  Point is that you have to balance the concept and its application.  I am for pushing social boundaries but then you have to know how to do so without repercussions to yourself, your lifestyle, and your career.

As another example, you may get away with dressing up like a flamboyant rock-star in Los Angeles or NY, but you just might downright get your ass kicked in a smaller redneck town.  Now, this is pretty much common sense, but it becomes lost in the zeal of “Pick Up Artist Mastery.”

If you can remember the objectives in the back of your mind,,

• Chief goal is improving your social skills, social intelligence, social confidence,
• Staying true to your identity and ideals
• Applying fair-Balance between the outrageous advice and your particular lifestyle.

When you come across ANY concept, you have to apply the following questions:

-Does this fit in within my lifestyle?
-Is this conducive to the TYPE OF WOMEN I desire?
-In which Area is this going to benefit me?

The 3 areas for potential benefit are:

1. Social Skills.
2. Social Intelligence.
3. Social Confidence.

Which area are you improving in?

• Example:  NLP Infatuation

Some guys become obsessed with learning NLP, hidden phrases, embedded commands.  So, let’s say you’re being bogged down in NLP. What areas are you going to improve you in?

–Social Skills?  Definitely not.  It’s sold as a better communication tool, but have you ever observed NLP people trying to socialize at a party?  Enough said.

–Social Intelligence?  Probably not in terms of getting girls.  Unless you consider trying to manipulate people with embedded commands a tool of social intelligence.

–Social Confidence?  Well, I don’t think so.  If you think it helps your confidence, go for it.

Apply common sense and decide for yourself.  As a side note, now that you know that, you’ll see a trend amongst my dating-related articles.  Each article fits into one of the above categories.

Example of my previous articles (Yes, this is where I get to boast) :

1. My recent Articles on “How to spot promiscuous and/or toxic girls“: Social Intelligence.
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2. Recent Article on “How to develop Charm“:  Social Skills.
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3. Various Articles on “Understanding the importance of purpose & Identity“: Confidence (Better Self-Image.)
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I know you’re thinking,  “Clever Cameron!  How did he do that!” I know, right???   [Inside joke if you follow the blog]

OK, but now that the secret is out, let’s get to another important issue in the AREA OF SOCIAL SKILLS that will ENABLE you to gain SOCIAL CONFIDENCE.

That’s coming in the next article, I am going t share one of the most profound secrets that’s been staring you in the face all along!

Stay tuned,

Cameron

Building Attraction Ebook

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In the last article, I talked about how atrocious mainstream advice has men perpetually dateless and womanless, and hence, those men turn to an underground Dating Community.    The advice suddenly improves drastically, and the guy gets some results, but then, things get out of hand.  They go too far.  Today, I’m going to post an encounter that is the polar-opposite of the last article.

I rarely read Dating forums or other websites because, well, (Except for a handful) they’re mostly shit, and a waste of my time.  Out of curiosity from an old school-newsletter that arrived in my mailbox, I decided to take a look.

I found something interesting.  I’ll post with my comments in blue.

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“If you really want to work on your game, the gym is the perfect place to
work on your active AND passive value.”

Hint:  If you’re WORRYING about your active & Passive Value, you’re not that cool!  That’s the first problem.  Thinking about issues in such “Dungeouns & Dragons” terms is the first sign of maladjustment.  “Oh look, grand-dragon slayer, my active value is at 8, but passive value is a 6.5   I win!”

It’s really not that cool

If you look at Matador, even though
his active game is extremely well honed, his passive value is exceedingly
high, which makes him an extremely powerful PUA. So use this as an
opportunity to work on both parts of your game.

Grand Dragon-slayer, replies: “Yes, but I know Matador!  He is on my side and his PUA powers dwarf those.”

We Seek Powerful Matador

PS.  If you actually did play Dungeouns & Dragons, I can respect that.  (just not when mixed with player wannabes)

One of the main advantages (assuming you’re going to the gym on a daily
basis) is that you’ll usually see the same people there over and over again.
This gives you the luxury of having lower investment interactions, and when
you have them on a day to day basis, she develops MUCH more comfort with you
than in most other pick up situations.

Yes, a bit of good advice.  I wish he’d applied the above common sense to the beginning.  If you cut out the bullshit, things become simpler.  Simpler works better for the beginner.

So I just joined a new gym in my job relocation and I noticed that there are
7-8 girls who are regulars and are HB8s and above…… (Skip)  ………..So I’m on the calf machine. I look at her, smile and nod my head as she
passes by me. She stops:

Her: Hey, I see you here all the time, are you new here or
something ?
Me: Yeah, I just moved here from Los Angeles (MIND YOU
THIS IS A FAIRLY SMALL TOWN, SO IT’S A PRETTY BIG DHV WHEN
YOU SAY YOU’RE FROM A LARGER CITY.)
Her: (INTRIGUED) Oh wow, what made you move here to
this small town ?
Me: New job here. Offered more competitive pay than what I
had back in Los Angeles.
Her: Oh, so what do you do ? (HER WAY OF GAUGING MY
DIRECT VALUE. ALL WOMEN ARE GOLD DIGGERS TO SOME EXTENT. NO
GIRL WANTS SOME POOR ASS GUY.)
Me: I’m a Financial Cost Analyst for a medical consulting
company. I work over at the Wachovia Building right off
Riverfront. (PLENTY OF BUZZ WORDS TO PEAK HER
INTEREST.)
Her: Oh cool, sounds exciting !
Me: Not particularly. Definitely pays the bills and then
some, but nobody likes being trapped in a box. I have a few
business plans I’m getting off the ground once I’ve massed
up some more capital.
We banter for a little longer and then right at the end, I drop in the time
bridge.

Me: Well hey, I need to bang out a few more sets before the
gym closes, but are you on Facebook ?
Her: Who isn’t ?
Me: Cool

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So the guy writing this moved from Los Angeles to some small town, told a girl he makes good MONEY, and got her facebook information.   What’s wrong with that?

It’s the robotic nature of it that screws up most of the guys who come to learn dating advice.

• Thinking about conducting a “DHV”
• Negative view of women “they’re all gold-diggers”, he claims.
• He does a “Time-Bridge”   (More nerd lingo created by Mystery)

The above is just one example that I am using for demonstration.  It’s not to pick on the author.  He is a representation of a lot of dudes out there, who suffer from the same mental anguish.  Their thinking represents the paranoia of the Christian Bale character in American Psycho.

“She is just trying to gauge my direct value… All women are gold-diggers.  I must show her I am not broke.  I use Oil or Olay facial scrub.  Women can appreciate such a scrub.  This adds to my direct as well as passive value.”

See where I am going with this?

On the one hand, we have the completely clueless idiot from yesterday’s article, and today, we have Patrick Bateman from American Psycho.

Trying to balance the advice from both sides can be difficult.  Now, you add to that various dogmatic methodologies (Always Be Direct) or (Never show Interest), and you compound it further with “Spiritual Seduction Teachers”  who want to help you get in touch with yourself, and you’re really fucked.

Man, you’re more confused than the doctor being told by Michael Jackson to give him another shot of his desired medication…    ”On the one hand I don’t want to get fired from this kickback job, on the other I cannot just let this freak have whatever medication he desires…..”

So, in the next article, I am going to discuss how you can work around this paradigm and create a game plan that makes sense.

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 I briefly wrote about this a few years back, but then a recent conversation last week reminded me that it ought to be mentioned again.   (Back when I wrote about it, it upset a few dating-coaches.)

 I was having dinner with a few people, one of whom has gotten particularly involved with the community. (He was involved a long time ago, took sometime off, then he is back at it again, unfortunately.)   So he tells me, “Wow, you’ve gotta see instructor xyz game.  He is so incredible.  He goes up to the girls and he has them wrapped around his fingers.  I’ve never seen anything like it.  Man you gotta come out and see this guy.”

 I try to change the subject.  Oh, how I try….  “So, you excited about the NFL playoffs?”

 His reply is to torture me more. “Dude, this guy’s stuff is cutting edge.  I’ve been helping him out at his bootcamps.”   Btw, this is one of the surefire signs that you’re very likely dealing with a community-involved person: They don’t notice your eyes glazing over not being interested in the conversation, nor do they take notice repeated multiple attempts at changing the conversation.  (People are also encouraged to “Plow Through”)

 Finally, I’ve had enough.  This is 2^nd time he has gone on a diatribe about his new bootcamp instructor infatuation, and I happen to know the instructor, and really I am not that impressed, nor do I want to waste my time hearing about it.    “Look man, I know you like these workshops and you’re excited about this alleged new stuff you’re learning.  It’s nothing new.  And plus your hero-instructor for the most part is regurgitating Mystery-Method and selling it as Natural-Game.  It’s kinda sad actually.”

 He finally gets it.  I am not interested in hearing about instructor xyz teaching “Pick Up Artist” dating workshops, an instructor who then blatantly lies about his results, but we’ll save that for later…  My buddy is not happy with me!  I liked our friendship better before he got involved into the bootcamp business where we could talk about normal hobbies.  He is a good guy and deserves better than being enthralled with “Dating Guru” scumbags.  Anyhow, moving past that…

 Why was this guy so infatuated with this new instructor?  

FLASH GAME!

•  What is flash-game?  How does it work?  What’s the purpose?  Why even do it?

 Flash-game is a hyperactive high energy way of approaching women, then machine gunning them down with a barrage of routines, [a verbatim memorized script], all designed to get them laughing, giggling and looking like you have them eating out of the palm of your hand.

 Why do this?  Because it impresses students!  It wows the paying customer into thinking he has just witnessed an incredible feat in front of his eyes.  To the student, it’s the equvialent of having watched live John Elway’s “The Drive” or Magic’s Baby skyhook in the 1987 NBA Finals against the Celtics.  It’s meant to be dazzle.  Not proud of it, but I’ve done it! Back in the Project Hollywood days, circa 2004, I’ve done quite a bit of flash game.

 What’s the problem? 

 Let’s put it this way: Flash-game is the equivalent of a fat guy who has not exercised in 10 years telling you, “Look, how athletic and fit I am” by running 50 yards (close to 50 meters) as fast as he can.  But then you know that if he had jogged another 50, he’d collapse and vomit all over himself.  Who knows, he might have even shit himself and soiled his underwear.  But for those first 50 meters, he can make himself look good.

 Point is Flash-game doesn’t really work in the greater context of attracting women.  It does not yield results  It’s designed for the instructor to dupe the students to thinking he can have any girl in the bar he wants.  So he does approaches the girls, tries to entertain them in whatever way he can for a few minutes. 

 Sometimes the instructors behave as over-the-top flamboyant effeminate homosexual men to ease the women into tolerating them.  I KNOW you’ve seen this, if you’ve been around the seduction community.  You’ve seen “Insider” footage of hidden-camera pickups that were the equivalent of watching Bruno approach women in a nightclub.
      

I'm a fabulous Pick Up Artist

  Again, this does not translate to attraction or turning a woman on sexually.  Don’t take my word for it.  If you have close female friends, ask them what they fantasize about when they play with themselves…  It’s not the effeminate homosexual guy (who is still in denial) sweeping them off of their feet.  That’d be the opposite of what they really fantasize.  

 Either way, Flash game is designed to make you look good for a 5-minute period and that’s it.  She has nothing vested in the conversation and it certainly doesn’t mean that she is interested.  It’s a parlor trick.  You ever watch a street-performer or a side-show?  You have fun, and perhaps give the guy a few dollars as a tip, and you walk away 

 Disclaimer: In the bar game, if an instructor is good at what he does, he could switch gears, slow things down, and create some rapport and perhaps work that into a one-night-stand with a specific type of girl but most guys teaching don’t have much personality to begin with.  So we’re back to square one….

  The problem is two-fold:  Guys teaching wanting to “Wow” the students and the guys learning wanting to be highly impressed.  You have to decide if you’re taking a workshop/bootcamp to experience more success in dating women, or if you’re spending money to be wowed.  If it’s the latter, then you just like spending money for your pick-up artist infatuation, and not really interested in becoming better yourself.  (And there are plenty of guys like that.)

 I recall speaking to a group of guys about a year and a half ago.  Afterwards, one guy blurted, “Man, I’d love to watch you game sometime.”

 Like I told him then,

 A.  I am not a dancing monkey here to perform for you.

 B. If you saw me talking to girl, it’d be most unspectacular “Pick up” you’ve ever seen. If I am talking to a girl at a supermarket, you’re not going to see me bounce off the walls, doing handshakes and spin moves….

 What you’d see from a distance is two people talking, and if it’s going well, a lot of laughing, and ideally to the unsuspecting eye, it’d look like two friends who haven’t seen each other in a few months catching up. 

 The more trained eye would see a lot of flirtatious sub-communication, but it’s not impressive.  It’s two people chatting, having fun and laughing…  That’s it.  Ideally, an approach represents the comfort of you talking to a male-buddy, (except with your male buddy, you don’t glance and talk with a tonality that you want to fuck him.) 

  Again, if you know a guy in your neighborhood who is the proverbial player, (I mean a real player, not some dweeb in the community, or a sleazy prick wearing devil horns).  Observe the player guy a few times from a distance.  You might you use the adjective “Smooth”.  It’s like watching Mickey Rourke in his prime!  And let’s be honest here, not all guys can come off that smooth but at least, Mickey Rourke is a better visual representation of what Smooth ought to look like than your average dating-coach.

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 For the record, I’ve traveled 1000s of miles on American highways through at least 20 different States, and never seen a hot woman like that hitchhiking.  OK, so it’s a bit of a fantasy, but again, if you’re going to have a visual reference in your imagination for what cool is……… Please remember the clip above, not the socially creepy guy giving social advice.  This has been a public service announcement, brought to you by Cameron.  Thanks.  Back to our regular programming..

    I do understand the dilemma from both perspectives.  Even the FEW instructors who are worth learning from run into the dilemma of people reporting back, “Well, I took this bootcamp and it wasn’t that impressive.”  So sometimes, they’re forced to resort to Flash-game for business reasons.

 At the end of the day, a lot of this comes down to the consumer: If you decide to take a weekend workshop/coaching/bootcamp, have a clear cut idea of what you want to get out of it!

 After I did that “Charlatan Podcast” with Sinn, guys started writing me emails telling me about feeling like they were duped, conned and ripped off by various dating-gurus.  I am not the community-police, and unfortunately, there is not much I can do about it.  I am sorry you got ripped off. 

  You ought to know that a lot of the claims by “Seduction Community Dating Gurus” are phony testimonies.   Socially awkward guy is laying women left and right after xyz bootcamp… BULLSHIT. 

                    ————————————–

Regarding testimonials from dating-gurus teaching in-field bootcamps.  Let’s see here:

 Phony: Guy who is a bit socially awkward takes bootcamp and by the end of that week, he has a 3some with girls. 

More realistic: He has a 3some with his effeminate male instructor and his male lackey hang-around.  OK, just kidding.  That’s my sick sense of humor… Couldn’t help it.

More realistic (Serious this time!):  The following week, that student meets a few girls, some of whom flake, and then 1 who shows up for a date!  Success story!!

Congrats.  And seriously, if you’re taking a workshop, when was the last time you had a date with a girl you liked?  A date that went well!  Seriously?  I mean a girl you looked FORWARD to seeing… When was it?

                  ——————————

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Phony:                     

  Wow, three of my students got laid this weekend! 

First Reaction: Was there a 3-for-1 deal at the local brothel?   Rarely, if ever, do students get laid on bootcamps.  And seriously, if you’re looking to take a dating-workshop in order to get laid that weekend, you’re a silly bastard.

 Save your cash.  Go where the pros go!  To a prostitute.  You pay them a fraction of what you paid Mr. PUA and the sex is guaranteed.  A 100% guaranteed.  If it makes you feel better, run a routine stack on her.  Tell her it’s part of the foreplay for you.  You have her for an hour!

 Tell her you want to come in the room, do an 80s dogs opener, ask her if she thinks if David Bowie is hot, or hire TWO GIRLS and do the best friends test!   Then isolate one, make the other jealous, and have sex with both ANYWAY! It’s great!   You’re the stud! 

          ———————–

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  There is actually a guy out there who teaches “How to date professional women” seminars.  You know, like dating “porn stars”, escorts, strippers, street-walkers ….

 That’s like going to the butcher, paying him lots of money to teach you HOW to get a steak by chasing down a cow!   You ever try to tackle a cow in an open field?  Me neither, but seriously, it’s gotta be pretty difficult.  I mean, they have 4 legs….

 Point is: Go directly to the supermarket. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars. (or pay 3000 in this case.)    Go directly to the meat-market.  They got lots of steaks you can buy there… (and yes cheesy pun intended. Thank you.)

 To bring it back to point: “My students get laid at my workshops” is usually bullshit.  It rarely happens, and when it does, it’s to guys who really didn’t a workshop that badly.  They just needed a few minor points.

  Have realistic expectations and focus on what you want to get out of that workshop.   Remember there is no “Pure Game.”  There is no competition.  It’s only you being happy with your social life.

•  Whether you meet women during day time or nightclubs/bars, whether you meet them at house parties, school, or online, whether you meet them at conferences/seminars or the school’s science club, is irrelevant.  If it’s working for you, that’s what matters  
           
•  Whether they’re tall, short, big tits or small, the bimbo or the nerd with glasses, you have to make one important distinction:  Are you out with that girl because you like her or are you trying to impress other dudes?  Think about that one….. Seriously.

                       —————————-

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  In conclusion, don’t get sucked into PUA-infatuation like my buddy whom I mentioned in the beginning. Easy to do flash-game to front load the interaction to be impressive with no follow-through.

 Know what you want to get out of the workshop, and focus on your goals.  Don’t be duped by glorious reports of “My students are getting laid left and right and getting 3somes.”  If you want to get laid that badly, hire a professional girl for a fraction of the cost.  Don’t go to a pick up artist asking him to provide Vaginas for you.  There is a profession for that, they’re called pimps.

 The only way you’re going to get better is by improving yourself a little bit at a time.  Someone mentioned working on your attributes (It was me! I have to boast sometime!) and really work on becoming more interesting, dressing better, raising your social awareness, and being more at ease with yourself when you talk to girls (which comes from raising your self-image as well as practicing lots of socializing with various women).  

 That’s the way to improve.  Otherwise, you’ll be writing me emails (or at least you’ll want to) about how some dipshit pickup artist duped you and now you feel ripped off…. 

 I don’t want to have to tell you, “I told you so…….”

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 That’s the question I am asked sometimes, whether it’s through email, or on Facebook, and so forth.  Some guys even offer a multiple choice option: Is it because of reason XYZ?  So do I really hate the “Pick Up Industry?”  Do I dislike certain individuals?  Do I like certain concepts or ideas?  Or do I just like stirring the shit every so often? 

 Since some of you ask, here is a little blog entry that’ll help provide more clarity. I suppose I should address two separate issues here.

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• Issue # 1:

First is the comedy-factor.  It’s nearly impossible to ignore the rich source of good laughs and comedy the seduction community can provide.  To be more clear, the so called “Dating Gurus” are unintentionally funny individuals.  Socially creepy people who are outcasts of society trying to give normal guys with normal jobs dating advice is just funny. 

 Maybe I am going after an easy target here but the comedian in me can’t help but have good laughs about these “Gurus.”  That can easily be misconstrued as hate.  Certainly, there are individuals who hate the seduction community and are consumed by it, but that’s taking it a bit too far.  An occasional laugh is therapeutic; an infatuation with dating-gurus is not. 

 I spend the majority of blog writing articles that provide solid advice, and my objective with most of the “Dating” articles is to write for someone who has no idea the “Seduction Community” exists. 

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• Issue # 2:

 The dangers of seduction-infatuation. 

 Having been involved with the community, I’ve learned a lot of cool stuff and have made some good friends.  Whereas I struggled in “Cold-approaching” women in the beginning, I now don’t have issues talking to women anywhere.  Flirting with women out and about has become second nature and that’s the gratifying part of the whole thing.  It also has enabled me to look inside and learn things about myself, my beliefs, and ideals.

 I also find it to be sad that 80% of the guys who enter the community won’t be able to improve very much and may even suffer blowbacks to their happiness. 

 Henceforth, along with providing dating tips and guidelines, I also try to issue a stern warning to guys.  It may help prevent some men from getting sucked into a weird psychological trap, and for others, it may serve as a wake-up call by allowing them to see themselves from 3^rd person perspective.

-  The Hobby analogy. 

 People often want to compare “Picking Up Women” to other hobbies like playing sports or music.  So let’s examine that briefly.

Look, any activity you partake in can become a hobby or even a slight obsession.  You could start playing tennis for the first time in your life, and you may become enamored by the sport. Soon, you are on the court playing 4 nights a week, and you find yourself watching Tennis on TV as well.  Soon after, you start following the matches of Roger Federer and company, reading articles in Tennis magazines and on the Internet.   

You may enjoy Tennis so much, you even take time to watch some of the classics.  You look on ESPN classics and watch various classic matches, Andre Agassi to Bjorn Borg,  Jimmy Connors and John McEnroe, Ivan Lendl and Boris Becker, and the list goes on… 

 You’re fully invested in the sport of Tennis.   So what’s the problem? Nothing.  Playing Tennis 4 times a week is a healthy activity, and so maybe you’re a bit obsessed, but it’s not as if you’re skipping work or obligations to run to the Tennis court.  For the most part, the new Tennis obsession enhances your life in some way.  You make new friends on to play Tennis with and you’re now exercising four times a week.

 Problem arises when people treat “Pick Up Artistry, Seduction Community, Dating,” in the same manner as the Tennis aficionado above.  The Tennis aficionado gets a certain sense of joy as well as physical benefits from playing Tennis.

• The wannabe pick up artist has traded in his personal happiness for the validation of women he approaches.

 What if you struck some sort of a balance within the community?  You can’t!  

 When you’re constantly following various gurus’ advice, when all of your surrounding friends’ conversations are about pick up, number closing, make-outs, which girl you laid, when you’re worried about what your friends may think because the last girl you were with, “you couldn’t lay,” when you have to discuss the latest technique you just read about………………….

You cannot get away from it!  You’re sucked in and now it’s going to take work for you to crawl out of that hole you dug for yourself. 

                         ———————————————————

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• But I want to become a “Pick Up Artist.”   How do I become a PUA?

That’s the first problem.  Becoming a PUA is not glamorous, nor cool.   Please note that I didn’t say having the ability to date more women, or women of your choice was not cool.  I said being a “Pick Up Artist” is not all that cool.

 Do consider that most pick up artists (Aka Dating “Gurus” you run into come across as socially creepy people who don’t have any friends.  Basically, if you took away their employees and people who think they can learn something from them, they’d be alone.  Employees and fans are not friends.

 Don’t take my word for it.  Go to a casual house party with a dating-guru around and observe for yourself.  See, if you want to become like that dude.

             ———————————————————- 

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• A skewed and warped view of women. 

 There is a lot of underlying misogyny that goes is passed on to dating seeker without him ever realizing it.  There is the guy who wants to teach you NLP secret patterns that’ll help you get laid to the guy who tells you that you’re not really worth much “Unless you have a 9 or 10″ on your arms as ornaments. 

 On top of that, most of the pick up artists deal with a specific segment of women and hence they project that impression of that segment onto ALL women.  Pretty soon, they’ll have you convinced that all women are “flaky bitches” who are always “testing” you or trying to get something from you.

 The would be dating-guru doesn’t consider the fact that, even if it were true, in order for women to want to get something from him, he’d have to have something to offer in the first place.  And gain I’d ask you:  Have you ever hung out with the so-called-pick up artists?  That’s irrelevant though.  He is going to have you convinced women are just walking vaginas anyway….. 

 So the impressionable would be dating-advice-seeker takes on the values of his guru whom he holds in high regard.  Women are called “targets” and the goal is to put your penis in their vaginas and then write a report about it.  He doesn’t really see women as human beings, certainly doesn’t see them as individuals having something to offer, or as persons with goals, ambitions, and their own set of values, beliefs as well as fears. 

 So then you have what amounts to be a good number of dating-gurus: Men with no real friends, no social circles, flakier than the women they complain about, socially mal-adjusted misogynists who want to get laid in order to find some sort of a validation within themselves as well as within their peers.  “Oh, loook, here is the photo of a girl I just laid.”

 And do you really want to be that guy?  That’s your decision. But let’s do a quick exercise together..

•   The Mansion Party Scenario:

 Imagine if you and I rented a gigantic mansion to throw a gigantic party.  We then invite a massive number of Dating-Gurus to attend this little friendly fest to celebrate good times.  We tell them there is “Totally free alcohol” and you can bring whoever you want, including all of your friends.

This is what we’d see:  A house full of men with very few women.  We’ll get to the women part later.  Let’s get back to the men. 

 Some of the men would be dressed like flamboyant gay guys, some would be dressed goth and some would dress as Rockstars who just got off the stage.  They’d have NO normal friends from outside of the seduction community.  Some would have an Asian male-assistant who follows them around for some reason (for free), and some would bring along prostitutes. 

 You couldn’t really have a normal conversation with any of them.   Most would be out of shape as they don’t exercise, and they’d insist on breaking out their blackberries to show photos of some girl they allegedly laid recently.  Some would try to be more alpha, they’d be unnecessarily rude, try to talk over you or cut you off in the middle of your story in order to show that they’re cooler than you.  If you had brought your own non-community male friends, they’d be disgusted by this crew you’ve surrounded yourself with.

  To the Women part: The few who brought a female, would be with dimwitted, moronic, shallow women, basically the only women who’d even tolerate such men for more than 5 minutes, and even then, there’d be a feeding frenzy because the 70% of the guys who are without any women would try to hit on the 30% who did have a girl.  For all the talk of how often they get laid and how many women they have in their lives, fora ll the talk of abundance, they’d try to hit on every single girl at the party who is already with a dude. 

Now, I’d ask you once again: Are those men you aspire to be?  Again, your choice.

 But wait, it doesn’t even stop there.  Once in a while, one guy comes along who has ALL of the answers. He makes fun of the pick up artists, echoes some of the sentiments I wrote above, and talks about being a self-actualized man.  Even if he seems supremely creepy and weird, he sounds like he comes from a good place. This, you overlook the fact that he creeps the fuck out of ya and makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up.   His message at first seems appealing until you learn…….

  ….Until you learn that the dude is a night-stalker (wearing devil horns) walking the streets of Toronto looking for hookers and prostitutes trying to offer them a “Paradigm shift” as well as a couch and warm shelter, and then he tries to “Emancipate” them by turning those same hookers onto pornography, so they can become paid porn participants.  I won’t name any names, but that’s the sort of characters you get sometimes.  Naturally, this night-stalker walking dark Alleys of Toronto preying on hookers and crackwhores feels like he should be giving normal guys with normal jobs dating advice.  

So is the above “hatred” towards the community?  You can interpret it however you like.  I like to think of it as pointing out absurdities that make for good comedy, and in the meanwhile, helping prevent a few guys from getting sucked into the “PUA” trap. 

                 ————————————————–

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OK, you’re not interested in that becoming like the PUAs or creeps above.  You do want to be better at attracting and meeting women.  So what are you to do?????

Here is what’d I recommend:

Decide what it is you want more.  The more specific, the better.  Here are a few examples off the top:

• *I want to be able to talk to girls.  I get too nervous
• *I want to be able to have more dates.
• *I’m a virgin or (slept with 2 girls).  I like sex and want more of it. 
• *I have a lot of girl-friends.  I want to have more women sexually attracted to me.
• *I just got out of a long relationship and don’t know where to start.
• *I want to find a girlfriend.
• *I want more girls to be attracted to me.  I talk to many women, but they’re not all that interested.
   

 Once you know what you want to do, find the right advice that jives with you.  Stick with a few dating coaches instead of trying to master a 100 different things. 

Let me put it this way: Imagine you wanted to learn self-defense or become a better fighter and every week you switched styles.  1 week of Karate, then 1 week of kung fu, then 1 week of kickboxing, then 1 week of whatever….   6 months later and it’s all a cluster fuck.  

 Now, to compound that, imagine that some of the Dating-gurus are charlatans that are teaching you things that’ll never work for you.  Now, you’re really knee deep in shit.  You’re trying all sorts of new techniques, half of which were never meant to work, and out of the ones that’d be suitable for you, well, you never become proficient with any of them.

I hope that you find value in my blog and that it’ll benefit you.  I do sell products and I believe in these products, and I realize you may never buy any products from me.  That’s fine too.  Just don’t become a weirdo because you got sucked into warped misogynistic validation-seeking socially maladjusted way of the “Pick Up Artist” (or the creepy  night stalker who wants to offer you a paradigm shift over night.) 

  Go with your common sense.  There are good dating-coaches out there but many times, guys will allow their zeal for wanting to be better at attracting women overcome their most basic common sense.  A lot of smart guys find the community, engineers, computer experts, and a lot of highly educated people.

 Most of you would never allow a creepy guy dressed in drag, fishnets, or devil horns run your business.  No way, no how.  Yet, you somehow think the dating advice from that same guy is sound because he is a self-proclaimed dating guru.   Can you see the absurdity??

 Keep it simple.  In the Macro-view of learning to attract women, you need three general components: 

• Attitude/big balls,
• Social Intelligence,
• Being an interesting/engaging person. 

 Keep track of those three general concepts.  It was one of the first articles I ever wrote on this Blog entitled “What Game Really is.”  Read it here:

What Game Really Is

 That was the first dating article I wrote on the Blog.  Nothing has changes since then.  If you want a general Bird’s eye view of Attraction between two human beings, you’re looking at those 3 basic components.  The details just fill in the blanks regarding the intricacies, but at the end of the day, it’s going to come down to the basics I mention in the article linked above.

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Here we go!  Johnny “So-Drama-Porno” replies in epic fashion:

Here is Johnny’s reply & it is amazing.  Breath taking some would say!

Let’s review first: I write the man a private email, an honorable one, calling him out for being condescending.  (Which he knows he is.)

Even then, he still can’t help himself from being condescending, so after being CALLED OUT for being condescending, what does he do?

- Write an email that’s his most condescending to date!

If you read the email I sent to him, you noted two points of contention:

• Being condescending and belittling those around him
• Constant games of 1-up-manship to place himself above others in some hierarchy

Basically, using advanced manipulation tactics on people who teach social dynamics.

In his reply, he quotes part of my email.  My original email is in normal black color indicated by arrows.

Johnny’s replies are in quotes, in brown color,

My commentary is in blue …

———————–

Hey Cam,

Thanks for taking the time to respond; I feel much better having heard what you have to say :)

When people began sending me reports of your being disloyal and backstabbing, that got my attention, so I wrote to you directly, to prevent this getting stupid.

All Hail the King!  All hail the King.  “People sent him reports of me my disloyalty.”

If you know Johnny, you know that he is a stickler for the English language. No verb, pronoun, adverb or adjective is used by accident.  Every English Word is planned out carefully. Reports of Disloyalty have a connotation of hierarchy.  Wait, what did I write to him in my straight up email?  Oh, that’s right.  His games of 1-up-manship become tiresome after a while!  It drives people away.

>>> Hey Johnny,

>>>Your anonymous emailer makes a lot of assumptions.  There are a lot of people in the “Pick up/ Dating” business I enjoy joking about including “Mystery.”.  I don’t hate them, but the weirdness of it all is so rich, it’s fun joking about.

Sure, ALL self-described Pick Up Artists are creepy fucks, and overwhelmingly socially maladjusted, it makes them easy targets. I get that.

–OK, partial agreement on some of the dating gurus.  I wouldn’t say “ALL” of them.  (Anyone else notice the “ALL” in all caps?   Obvious attempt to set himself apart because of the blessed Sed-reasoning. More on that later….

>>>As for the alleged “Potshots.”

The ‘Potshots’ I was referring to which I had been overlooking were nothing to do with the Kirkey show – they were things like your STD comments about your sofa, etc…  and your accusations of my saying “Trust me” to you…

The stuff you’ve said about me on Sinn’s podcast or Kirkey’s show I presumed were just your trying to make ‘good radio’ and since I never listened to them myself, I didn’t care.

—  Sensitive, sensitive.  I made a comment that he & his girlfriend sat on my PUA-sofa, and it has since been tested for STDs.  Well, you’d think he’d get the joke.  His name is So-porno, brags about his various girlfriends who are escorts.  He alleges to have had sex with 1000s of women.   STD joke would seem appropriate.

>>>A) I don’t agree with the “Seductive reasoning paradigm”  I know it’s your source of epiphany, but I find both its reasoning and effectiveness faulty.  I don’t think that’s a potshot.  Just a professional disagreement.

No, that is certainly not taken as a potshot – although I can’t see how it could be a ‘professional disagreement’ either, since it’s got nothing whatsoever to do with any profession we share?   Nor, frankly, to do with any professional or commercial aspect?

— Let’s see:  I SELL Ebooks and Audio products on Dating.  He does Bootcamps that he charges money to teach guys a new dating paradigm, not to mention workshops on how to get laid with women who are “professionals”  {i.e porno participants, Escorts, hookers, streetwalkers, “Crackwhores” and the like.).

Although I can’t quite figure out why you’d pay 2000 Dollars for a Bootcamp to learn to sleep with “professionals” when you can take that money and pay the professional straight up and cut out the middle man!  Oh, only if I understood things better….

Since it’s not a ‘seduction tool’ at all, nor a device for picking up women, nor a routine, I can see why you’d have such trouble comprehending it, since you continue to insist on framing it as though it were.

——Not a routine?  I’ve personally heard this “Paradigm” on at least 3 occasions, not counting the other times, I walked away as soon as I heard him start explaining to women around his vicinity.  Getting past that,  his entire schtick is to have guys walk up to women, sit them down for say………….  30 FUCKING Minutes,  and say, “Hey, I’d like to discuss a new dating paradigm if I may,”  and then explain “Seductive Reasoning.”

I am disappointed that you still feel this way after you’ve had it explained to you so many times, in the most basic possible ways.

I’ll be happy to again try to help you understand it next time we meet, if you still can’t wrap your head around it.

—-So gracious is Johnny.  It’s not that he is could be wrong or bullshitting us.  The rest of us can’t be as intelligent as he.  We just can’t get his paradigm (Which is essentially all women are sluts or whores unless they decide to fuck Johnny and go into the prostitution business.)

Essentially, that is the paradigm and if a woman is falling for this, you really ought to check to see if she successfully received her high school diploma.

>>> B) Being condescending.   Johnny, you’re very condescending to people around you while hanging out with them.

I’m sorry you’ve seen the brunt of that; it’s never my intention to condescend to anyone, but when a person simply can’t or won’t meet me on my level, it is murderously challenging to ‘dumb things down’ sufficiently without it’s being obvious.

—Again, he can’t help himself for the rest of us Neanderthals.  Fuck, we just don’t get it!

What is wrong with us?    If only he could dumb down the paradigm (all women are sluts and whores unless they fuck Johnny), then we could get it.

- Never mind that the condescending remarks having nothing to do with his dating paradigm but remarks he makes to belittle people to establish himself as King.  The most interesting part of this is how everything ties to his dating-paradigm.  My point of contention was that he is condescending to those “Hanging out” with him….

You are absolutely right for calling me out on this.  I have nothing but respect for my peers.  Steve P, Hypnotica. Jamie Smart, Zan, Dr. Paul, Doc, and equiv. men have never experienced my condescension, as I’ve never felt compelled to patronize them, nor even to remain tolerant of their juvenile behaviours.

— OK, so now, not only we are not as intelligent as he, but we are also juvenile.  By the way, equivalent men have never received condescension.  Again, we cave-dwellers are treated differently.  Come to think of it, maybe Zan has never experienced condescension because Zan doesn’t even think about such things, and Steve P. will hit you in the head with a claw-hammer after about the 2^nd time.  And as for Dr, Paul: Well, thatguy is creepy enough that fully coherent parents would rather let their children spend the night at Neverlandranch than to be around DP.

>>> At first, I thought it was just accidental, but after prolonged exposure, I realized that it’s very deliberate.

Not so, as a matter of fact. – It’s explicitly NOT deliberate, and now that you’ve drawn my attention to it, I will endeavour to keep it from happening going forward.

–Really?  Out of curiosity, was this email part of that endeavor?  Or is the endeavor a long term plan like Universal Healthcare in America?

>>>Lastly, the most peculiar part of it is that you’re doing this to people who study & TEACH social dynamics for a living.

The only such people to whom I’ve condescended were people who were actively teaching misinterpretations and misapprehensions about social dynamics, particularly stuff which they’ve dogmatically accepted as fact because they studied these teaching of others who were no more insightful than themselves.

—Again, application of misdirection.  He brings it back to Dating Advice, which is clear misdirection and I am sure he thinks it’s clever.  The beauty of this email is that its condescension is layered.  There multiple layers of condescension.  First one is the obvious one, “Trying to dumb things down for us Neanderthals.”

The second one is obvious misdirection which he thinks we’ll never get. ”Hehe, they’ll never see through my misdirection schemes….I am so smart.. I was born seductive reasoning…heheh”

It’s like he is trying to sell a car with a faulty fuel pump to people who are expert car mechanics and when asked about the fuel pump, he talks about the alternator.

As I mentioned, my condescension is reflexive, and ‘comes on’ when I recognize that reason is not an option, and that the speaker knows not what he’s saying, but genuinely isn’t aware of it.

—So again, those of us who have been condescended (me, Barry, Sinn, and list goes on…)  it’s because we don’t know what we’re talking about, and reason is not an option.

The reason for why we were condescended in itself is condescending!  While trying to explain why he is condescending, he belittles us.  Awesome!  You can’t make this shit up!  You really can’t.

>>>Man, you must think the rest of are pretty damn stupid.

You omitted the objective pronoun in that sentence.

This shit is AWESOME!  The Condescension is dripping off the page, onto your keyboard down from your monitor.  Leave it to the king for pointing out my typo.  A typographical error where I skipped the word “Us”

- By the way, Told ya he was a stickler for the English language.

>>> I find irony, in that  for a guy who admonishes “Mystery/Markovic” for using “Negs” andput downs on women, you far outdo him in your fair share of put downs on men. As a matter of fact, for all the times I hung out with him, I cant’ recall Mystery using “Neg” type of behavior around his male buddies.

I can understand that! ‘Negs’ are designed to lower the subjective value of a person who presumes or asserts that they are at a higher ‘value’ than you can be.

With women, I never feel as though their confident sense-of-self  puts them on a level out-of-reach from me – I don’t need to ‘knock them off their high-horse’ to feel I’m on an even footing with them, and they sense this intuitively.

Wow!
Wow!
Wow!

This is amazing.  Please read the above paragraphs a few times.  I didn’t realize the impact of it at first glance. (Shit, personally, I realized on the 3rd time.)  And I’ll tell you what, I felt like a combination of Indiana Jones meets Perry Mason when it all hit me.  Johnny ”So Porno”  subconsciously gives himself away without realizing it.

Read it again and Replace “Women” with “Men.”  Then let’s rewrite the whole sentence the other way around.  Like turning a photograph negative.  Black is white, and white is black.  It’d then read:

But with men, “I feel as though their confident self puts them on a level out of reach for me.  So I need to “Knock them off their high-horse” to feel I’m on an even footing with them, and they don’t seen this intuitively.

Well, think about what he says.  With WOMEN, he does NOT feel the need to knock them off their high horse, which means…..   (Drum roll please…. )   With MEN, he does feel the need to knock them off their high horse….

Whoa! I feel like a detective for a second here.  Or perhaps more like Tom Cruise in  ”A Few Good Men” where he got Jack Nicholson to confess that he ordered the “Code Red!”

Holy Porno Batman!

He unknowingly gives us the solution to the riddle.  He unknowingly subconsciously gives himself away.  With women, he does NOT Feel the need to knock them down in order to feel on even footing with them….. which once again means….. WITH MEN, he does feel that need.

I don’t know whether to be annoyed by him or feel sorry for how he pathetic he must feel to have to resort to this.

With ‘Pick Up Artists’, nearly everything I hear come out of their mouths is so alarmingly misguided and misogynistic, I am continually overwhelmed by the need to pull their heads out of their asses.

-Ya know the expression about people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones?   Well….   “Misguided and misogynistic?”   Yes, many pick up artists in the seduction community reek of that.  However, this coming from someone who shows random men photos of various women’s faces with his semen splattered over them? Or encouraging financially desperate women to turn to a career of selling their bodies for sex?   (Which by the way, is an important part of emancipating women in the seductive reasoning paradigm.)

This is the kind of guidance that is chastising the PUAs for misguided behavior and misogyny?

That’s cool – and I appreciate your being so up-front about it :)

I am sure you appreciate it.  Very obvious in this email.

If you get the chance, grab a copy of my interview with Barry – listen to it and make up your own mind as to whether I belittled him at all.  I think you’ll be surprised and impressed by my composure and conduct, despite Barry’s fifth-grade antics. (I suspect he felt that my behaving as an adult while he was being a disruptive and annoying brat constituted ‘belittling him’.)

–I’ve listened to that interview. I don’t claim t be a mind reader but you snickering at him when he said didn’t know what the word “Emancipate” meant that constituted “Belittling” him.  Well, that amongst other chuckles, and little remarks.

Johnny

Well, there you have it!  That’s good entertainment no matter how you slice it.  And I’m sure there’ll be more remarks about I don’t understand Seductive Reasoning… But all comedy aside…. The sad thing is that I DO Understand.  I do get it, andmaybe that’s the problem.  Maybe if I didn’t get it, I’d accept it like blind people grasping at straws trying to find a cure for their dating woes….

Enough seriousness for now.  Need to go brush up my skills on how to date “professionals.”

Cameron

. 

Shifting gears for a second here, I am going to switch from Dating-Advice to just Entertainment for a minute.  If you’re seeking wholesome dating advice, the next couple of posts aren’t for you.

 If you’re curious to see what freaks of nature walk amongst us, then you’d be pleasantly surprised and perhaps even pleased.

 Johnny Soporno sends me an email asking why I’ve taken “Potshots” at him.  He alleges that “Someone” sent him an email regarding me.  Johnny would like to know why on the “Barry Kirkey Radio Show”, I’ve said that he is condescending.

 I write him an email that’s very blunt, straight from the hip, and very sincere calling him out on his antics.  I figure he asked and hence, he deserves to know. Man to Man. 

 His reply back is simply amazing in its cantankerous nature.  Suddenly, Barry contacts me and wants to talk about Johnny’s reply  on his podcast.  I then realized that Johnny copied Barry (and a girl named Janine) on his reply back to me.  I can’t quite figure out why he’d copy Barry Kirkey on an email that had nothing to do with Barry. 

 Nevertheless, it’s what he did, and the second he did that, he opened Pandora’s box.  Telling Barry is like Telling CNN or (would it be more like TMZ?), everyone is going to know about it.  He is going to talk about it on his podcast, because it is intriguing and entertaining.  So it all became public.

Since it is somewhat public,I am going to print the email on my blog.  It’s entertaining and even educational. It’s not really even drama.  Just a bit of entertainment. 

Here we go.  Below is my letter to Johnny. 

                              ————————————– 

Hey Johnny,

 Your anonymous emailer makes a lot of assumptions.  There are a lot of people in the “Pick up/ Dating” business I enjoy joking about including “Mystery.”.  I don’t hate them, but the weirdness of it all is so rich, it’s fun joking about. 

As for the alleged “Potshots.”

1. I don’t agree with the “Seductive reasoning paradigm”  I know it’s your source of epiphany, but I find both its reasoning and effectiveness faulty.  I don’t think that’s a potshot.  Just a professional disagreement. 
       
2. Being condescending.   Johnny, you’re very condescending to people around you while hanging out with them.  At first, I thought it was just accidental, but after prolonged exposure, I realized that it’s very deliberate.  You’re not dumb.  You’re a smart guy, so you cannot not know that you’re blatantly condescending to others (Me, Barry, and many others.).  There is no way you can be unaware of the constant games of “one-up-manship” and condescension. I am sure you have your reasons for doing what you do, but I don’t hate you for it.  It is what it is man, but is it interesting? Yes, it’s fascinating to me.  Do I want to be around it? No. 

 Lastly, the most peculiar part of it is that you’re doing this to people who study & TEACH social dynamics for a living.  They can deconstruct what you do down to every bolt and screw within a matter of minutes, and yet you insist on continuing this behavior:  The NLP reframes, slipping in embedded commands, and positioning yourself in some sort of a hierarchy through constant games of 1-up-manship. Man, you must think the rest of are pretty damn stupid.  It’s either that, or that you think no one will ever call you out on it. 

 I find irony, in that  for a guy who admonishes “Mystery/Markovic” for using “Negs” and put downs on women, you far outdo him in your fair share of put downs on men.  As a matter of fact, for all the times I hung out with him, I cant’ recall Mystery using “Neg” type of behavior around his male buddies. 

 So there you have it. It’s NOT for me to tell you or others how to live your life or how to conduct yourself.  I don’t make it a point to talk about you, but if someone (like Barry) mentions being belittled by you, then I am going to agree based on my personal experience.

Take care,

C.

                          ——————————————–

So there you have it!  The personal letter that became public.  My personal philosophy is that if a man confronts you with honor and respect then you owe it to him to deal with him on that save level.  His reply came from a different mindset I suppose.  It’s intriguing and astonishing. 

Stay Tuned for that reply tomorrow…