.

Here we go!  Johnny “So-Drama-Porno” replies in epic fashion:

Here is Johnny’s reply & it is amazing.  Breath taking some would say!

Let’s review first: I write the man a private email, an honorable one, calling him out for being condescending.  (Which he knows he is.)

Even then, he still can’t help himself from being condescending, so after being CALLED OUT for being condescending, what does he do?

- Write an email that’s his most condescending to date!

If you read the email I sent to him, you noted two points of contention:

• Being condescending and belittling those around him
• Constant games of 1-up-manship to place himself above others in some hierarchy

Basically, using advanced manipulation tactics on people who teach social dynamics.

In his reply, he quotes part of my email.  My original email is in normal black color indicated by arrows.

Johnny’s replies are in quotes, in brown color,

My commentary is in blue …

———————–

Hey Cam,

Thanks for taking the time to respond; I feel much better having heard what you have to say :)

When people began sending me reports of your being disloyal and backstabbing, that got my attention, so I wrote to you directly, to prevent this getting stupid.

All Hail the King!  All hail the King.  “People sent him reports of me my disloyalty.”

If you know Johnny, you know that he is a stickler for the English language. No verb, pronoun, adverb or adjective is used by accident.  Every English Word is planned out carefully. Reports of Disloyalty have a connotation of hierarchy.  Wait, what did I write to him in my straight up email?  Oh, that’s right.  His games of 1-up-manship become tiresome after a while!  It drives people away.

>>> Hey Johnny,

>>>Your anonymous emailer makes a lot of assumptions.  There are a lot of people in the “Pick up/ Dating” business I enjoy joking about including “Mystery.”.  I don’t hate them, but the weirdness of it all is so rich, it’s fun joking about.

Sure, ALL self-described Pick Up Artists are creepy fucks, and overwhelmingly socially maladjusted, it makes them easy targets. I get that.

–OK, partial agreement on some of the dating gurus.  I wouldn’t say “ALL” of them.  (Anyone else notice the “ALL” in all caps?   Obvious attempt to set himself apart because of the blessed Sed-reasoning. More on that later….

>>>As for the alleged “Potshots.”

The ‘Potshots’ I was referring to which I had been overlooking were nothing to do with the Kirkey show – they were things like your STD comments about your sofa, etc…  and your accusations of my saying “Trust me” to you…

The stuff you’ve said about me on Sinn’s podcast or Kirkey’s show I presumed were just your trying to make ‘good radio’ and since I never listened to them myself, I didn’t care.

—  Sensitive, sensitive.  I made a comment that he & his girlfriend sat on my PUA-sofa, and it has since been tested for STDs.  Well, you’d think he’d get the joke.  His name is So-porno, brags about his various girlfriends who are escorts.  He alleges to have had sex with 1000s of women.   STD joke would seem appropriate.

>>>A) I don’t agree with the “Seductive reasoning paradigm”  I know it’s your source of epiphany, but I find both its reasoning and effectiveness faulty.  I don’t think that’s a potshot.  Just a professional disagreement.

No, that is certainly not taken as a potshot – although I can’t see how it could be a ‘professional disagreement’ either, since it’s got nothing whatsoever to do with any profession we share?   Nor, frankly, to do with any professional or commercial aspect?

— Let’s see:  I SELL Ebooks and Audio products on Dating.  He does Bootcamps that he charges money to teach guys a new dating paradigm, not to mention workshops on how to get laid with women who are “professionals”  {i.e porno participants, Escorts, hookers, streetwalkers, “Crackwhores” and the like.).

Although I can’t quite figure out why you’d pay 2000 Dollars for a Bootcamp to learn to sleep with “professionals” when you can take that money and pay the professional straight up and cut out the middle man!  Oh, only if I understood things better….

Since it’s not a ‘seduction tool’ at all, nor a device for picking up women, nor a routine, I can see why you’d have such trouble comprehending it, since you continue to insist on framing it as though it were.

——Not a routine?  I’ve personally heard this “Paradigm” on at least 3 occasions, not counting the other times, I walked away as soon as I heard him start explaining to women around his vicinity.  Getting past that,  his entire schtick is to have guys walk up to women, sit them down for say………….  30 FUCKING Minutes,  and say, “Hey, I’d like to discuss a new dating paradigm if I may,”  and then explain “Seductive Reasoning.”

I am disappointed that you still feel this way after you’ve had it explained to you so many times, in the most basic possible ways.

I’ll be happy to again try to help you understand it next time we meet, if you still can’t wrap your head around it.

—-So gracious is Johnny.  It’s not that he is could be wrong or bullshitting us.  The rest of us can’t be as intelligent as he.  We just can’t get his paradigm (Which is essentially all women are sluts or whores unless they decide to fuck Johnny and go into the prostitution business.)

Essentially, that is the paradigm and if a woman is falling for this, you really ought to check to see if she successfully received her high school diploma.

>>> B) Being condescending.   Johnny, you’re very condescending to people around you while hanging out with them.

I’m sorry you’ve seen the brunt of that; it’s never my intention to condescend to anyone, but when a person simply can’t or won’t meet me on my level, it is murderously challenging to ‘dumb things down’ sufficiently without it’s being obvious.

—Again, he can’t help himself for the rest of us Neanderthals.  Fuck, we just don’t get it!

What is wrong with us?    If only he could dumb down the paradigm (all women are sluts and whores unless they fuck Johnny), then we could get it.

- Never mind that the condescending remarks having nothing to do with his dating paradigm but remarks he makes to belittle people to establish himself as King.  The most interesting part of this is how everything ties to his dating-paradigm.  My point of contention was that he is condescending to those “Hanging out” with him….

You are absolutely right for calling me out on this.  I have nothing but respect for my peers.  Steve P, Hypnotica. Jamie Smart, Zan, Dr. Paul, Doc, and equiv. men have never experienced my condescension, as I’ve never felt compelled to patronize them, nor even to remain tolerant of their juvenile behaviours.

— OK, so now, not only we are not as intelligent as he, but we are also juvenile.  By the way, equivalent men have never received condescension.  Again, we cave-dwellers are treated differently.  Come to think of it, maybe Zan has never experienced condescension because Zan doesn’t even think about such things, and Steve P. will hit you in the head with a claw-hammer after about the 2^nd time.  And as for Dr, Paul: Well, thatguy is creepy enough that fully coherent parents would rather let their children spend the night at Neverlandranch than to be around DP.

>>> At first, I thought it was just accidental, but after prolonged exposure, I realized that it’s very deliberate.

Not so, as a matter of fact. – It’s explicitly NOT deliberate, and now that you’ve drawn my attention to it, I will endeavour to keep it from happening going forward.

–Really?  Out of curiosity, was this email part of that endeavor?  Or is the endeavor a long term plan like Universal Healthcare in America?

>>>Lastly, the most peculiar part of it is that you’re doing this to people who study & TEACH social dynamics for a living.

The only such people to whom I’ve condescended were people who were actively teaching misinterpretations and misapprehensions about social dynamics, particularly stuff which they’ve dogmatically accepted as fact because they studied these teaching of others who were no more insightful than themselves.

—Again, application of misdirection.  He brings it back to Dating Advice, which is clear misdirection and I am sure he thinks it’s clever.  The beauty of this email is that its condescension is layered.  There multiple layers of condescension.  First one is the obvious one, “Trying to dumb things down for us Neanderthals.”

The second one is obvious misdirection which he thinks we’ll never get. ”Hehe, they’ll never see through my misdirection schemes….I am so smart.. I was born seductive reasoning…heheh”

It’s like he is trying to sell a car with a faulty fuel pump to people who are expert car mechanics and when asked about the fuel pump, he talks about the alternator.

As I mentioned, my condescension is reflexive, and ‘comes on’ when I recognize that reason is not an option, and that the speaker knows not what he’s saying, but genuinely isn’t aware of it.

—So again, those of us who have been condescended (me, Barry, Sinn, and list goes on…)  it’s because we don’t know what we’re talking about, and reason is not an option.

The reason for why we were condescended in itself is condescending!  While trying to explain why he is condescending, he belittles us.  Awesome!  You can’t make this shit up!  You really can’t.

>>>Man, you must think the rest of are pretty damn stupid.

You omitted the objective pronoun in that sentence.

This shit is AWESOME!  The Condescension is dripping off the page, onto your keyboard down from your monitor.  Leave it to the king for pointing out my typo.  A typographical error where I skipped the word “Us”

- By the way, Told ya he was a stickler for the English language.

>>> I find irony, in that  for a guy who admonishes “Mystery/Markovic” for using “Negs” andput downs on women, you far outdo him in your fair share of put downs on men. As a matter of fact, for all the times I hung out with him, I cant’ recall Mystery using “Neg” type of behavior around his male buddies.

I can understand that! ‘Negs’ are designed to lower the subjective value of a person who presumes or asserts that they are at a higher ‘value’ than you can be.

With women, I never feel as though their confident sense-of-self  puts them on a level out-of-reach from me – I don’t need to ‘knock them off their high-horse’ to feel I’m on an even footing with them, and they sense this intuitively.

Wow!
Wow!
Wow!

This is amazing.  Please read the above paragraphs a few times.  I didn’t realize the impact of it at first glance. (Shit, personally, I realized on the 3rd time.)  And I’ll tell you what, I felt like a combination of Indiana Jones meets Perry Mason when it all hit me.  Johnny ”So Porno”  subconsciously gives himself away without realizing it.

Read it again and Replace “Women” with “Men.”  Then let’s rewrite the whole sentence the other way around.  Like turning a photograph negative.  Black is white, and white is black.  It’d then read:

But with men, “I feel as though their confident self puts them on a level out of reach for me.  So I need to “Knock them off their high-horse” to feel I’m on an even footing with them, and they don’t seen this intuitively.

Well, think about what he says.  With WOMEN, he does NOT feel the need to knock them off their high horse, which means…..   (Drum roll please…. )   With MEN, he does feel the need to knock them off their high horse….

Whoa! I feel like a detective for a second here.  Or perhaps more like Tom Cruise in  ”A Few Good Men” where he got Jack Nicholson to confess that he ordered the “Code Red!”

Holy Porno Batman!

He unknowingly gives us the solution to the riddle.  He unknowingly subconsciously gives himself away.  With women, he does NOT Feel the need to knock them down in order to feel on even footing with them….. which once again means….. WITH MEN, he does feel that need.

I don’t know whether to be annoyed by him or feel sorry for how he pathetic he must feel to have to resort to this.

With ‘Pick Up Artists’, nearly everything I hear come out of their mouths is so alarmingly misguided and misogynistic, I am continually overwhelmed by the need to pull their heads out of their asses.

-Ya know the expression about people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones?   Well….   “Misguided and misogynistic?”   Yes, many pick up artists in the seduction community reek of that.  However, this coming from someone who shows random men photos of various women’s faces with his semen splattered over them? Or encouraging financially desperate women to turn to a career of selling their bodies for sex?   (Which by the way, is an important part of emancipating women in the seductive reasoning paradigm.)

This is the kind of guidance that is chastising the PUAs for misguided behavior and misogyny?

That’s cool – and I appreciate your being so up-front about it :)

I am sure you appreciate it.  Very obvious in this email.

If you get the chance, grab a copy of my interview with Barry – listen to it and make up your own mind as to whether I belittled him at all.  I think you’ll be surprised and impressed by my composure and conduct, despite Barry’s fifth-grade antics. (I suspect he felt that my behaving as an adult while he was being a disruptive and annoying brat constituted ‘belittling him’.)

–I’ve listened to that interview. I don’t claim t be a mind reader but you snickering at him when he said didn’t know what the word “Emancipate” meant that constituted “Belittling” him.  Well, that amongst other chuckles, and little remarks.

Johnny

Well, there you have it!  That’s good entertainment no matter how you slice it.  And I’m sure there’ll be more remarks about I don’t understand Seductive Reasoning… But all comedy aside…. The sad thing is that I DO Understand.  I do get it, andmaybe that’s the problem.  Maybe if I didn’t get it, I’d accept it like blind people grasping at straws trying to find a cure for their dating woes….

Enough seriousness for now.  Need to go brush up my skills on how to date “professionals.”

Cameron

. 

Shifting gears for a second here, I am going to switch from Dating-Advice to just Entertainment for a minute.  If you’re seeking wholesome dating advice, the next couple of posts aren’t for you.

 If you’re curious to see what freaks of nature walk amongst us, then you’d be pleasantly surprised and perhaps even pleased.

 Johnny Soporno sends me an email asking why I’ve taken “Potshots” at him.  He alleges that “Someone” sent him an email regarding me.  Johnny would like to know why on the “Barry Kirkey Radio Show”, I’ve said that he is condescending.

 I write him an email that’s very blunt, straight from the hip, and very sincere calling him out on his antics.  I figure he asked and hence, he deserves to know. Man to Man. 

 His reply back is simply amazing in its cantankerous nature.  Suddenly, Barry contacts me and wants to talk about Johnny’s reply  on his podcast.  I then realized that Johnny copied Barry (and a girl named Janine) on his reply back to me.  I can’t quite figure out why he’d copy Barry Kirkey on an email that had nothing to do with Barry. 

 Nevertheless, it’s what he did, and the second he did that, he opened Pandora’s box.  Telling Barry is like Telling CNN or (would it be more like TMZ?), everyone is going to know about it.  He is going to talk about it on his podcast, because it is intriguing and entertaining.  So it all became public.

Since it is somewhat public,I am going to print the email on my blog.  It’s entertaining and even educational. It’s not really even drama.  Just a bit of entertainment. 

Here we go.  Below is my letter to Johnny. 

                              ————————————– 

Hey Johnny,

 Your anonymous emailer makes a lot of assumptions.  There are a lot of people in the “Pick up/ Dating” business I enjoy joking about including “Mystery.”.  I don’t hate them, but the weirdness of it all is so rich, it’s fun joking about. 

As for the alleged “Potshots.”

1. I don’t agree with the “Seductive reasoning paradigm”  I know it’s your source of epiphany, but I find both its reasoning and effectiveness faulty.  I don’t think that’s a potshot.  Just a professional disagreement. 
       
2. Being condescending.   Johnny, you’re very condescending to people around you while hanging out with them.  At first, I thought it was just accidental, but after prolonged exposure, I realized that it’s very deliberate.  You’re not dumb.  You’re a smart guy, so you cannot not know that you’re blatantly condescending to others (Me, Barry, and many others.).  There is no way you can be unaware of the constant games of “one-up-manship” and condescension. I am sure you have your reasons for doing what you do, but I don’t hate you for it.  It is what it is man, but is it interesting? Yes, it’s fascinating to me.  Do I want to be around it? No. 

 Lastly, the most peculiar part of it is that you’re doing this to people who study & TEACH social dynamics for a living.  They can deconstruct what you do down to every bolt and screw within a matter of minutes, and yet you insist on continuing this behavior:  The NLP reframes, slipping in embedded commands, and positioning yourself in some sort of a hierarchy through constant games of 1-up-manship. Man, you must think the rest of are pretty damn stupid.  It’s either that, or that you think no one will ever call you out on it. 

 I find irony, in that  for a guy who admonishes “Mystery/Markovic” for using “Negs” and put downs on women, you far outdo him in your fair share of put downs on men.  As a matter of fact, for all the times I hung out with him, I cant’ recall Mystery using “Neg” type of behavior around his male buddies. 

 So there you have it. It’s NOT for me to tell you or others how to live your life or how to conduct yourself.  I don’t make it a point to talk about you, but if someone (like Barry) mentions being belittled by you, then I am going to agree based on my personal experience.

Take care,

C.

                          ——————————————–

So there you have it!  The personal letter that became public.  My personal philosophy is that if a man confronts you with honor and respect then you owe it to him to deal with him on that save level.  His reply came from a different mindset I suppose.  It’s intriguing and astonishing. 

Stay Tuned for that reply tomorrow…

. 

 Friday Night, and a bit of reminiscing…

My buddy Jon (Aka Sinn) was in LA to conduct a super-conference and we had a chance to hang out a bit.  As things worked out, we were joined by longtime “Dating Guru Swinggcat” and we decided to hit some of the local spots on Hollywood.   I hadn’t seen Swinggcat either for a while, so it was nice to catch up!

Now, you have to understand that I don’t go out that much to bars anymore, and haven’t during this past year (Ever since my 60 day challenge which I blogged about) so I was a bit out of touch as to how various nightclubs are holding up currently. 

 The first place we stopped by was a bust, not because the place wasn’t doing well.  To the contrary, the place was a madhouse, but our promoter contact was off that night.  That’s sort of the nightclub scene, as different promoters handle different nights of the week.  Show up when the guy you know isn’t working and you’re not getting in! 

 After a brief stint at another venue, we decided to head back to the heart of Hollywood and hit up Les Deux.  Last time I was at Les Deux was about a year ago, and the place was packed.  It was one of THE places to be if you were going out.  Long random formations of people dwelling outside trying to get in, red carpets, promoters, lists, and etc…

**How things have changed in one year. 

  Les Deux still requires you be on a guest list from a promoter and Swinggcat happened to know someone there.  This is just part of the show for them to try and establish that they are a place that’s in demand and it’s an attempt to appear prestigious. 

In reality, it’s like a Playboy playmate trying to charge you modeling fees, because she was hot in 1985,

  Les Deux wants to be hot, and yet, when you get in, half the place is empty and the other half is a somewhat ghetto crowd.  There really aren’t too many people worth talking to, and the high rollers have all abandoned the place.  This is just the Nightclub business days and this place really has followed the cycle of a nightclub very accurately.  (See reference post about Nightclub cycles here:  http://attractwomenanywhere.com/blog/2009/04/13/the-business-of-nightclubs/

 In the entire place, there were really two girls that were actually pretty cute.  Two blondes from “The Valley” who had somehow ended up here, and conversation with them was pretty much like equivalent of spending time in Guantanamo Bay: Torture. 

 Although the really tall blonde did work her way to a bottle service area where she scored free drinks and then started to dance on the chairs in appreciation of free alcohol.  At this point, I thought, “Wow!  This’d make a great Blog Photo!”  So I made the sacrifice.  This is how committed I am to the Blog!   By taking this photo, I was categorized in the douchebag category in her mind, meaning there was no chance for an interaction with shit-for-brains, but it was well worth it to serve the Blog.   

So here is the photo of party blonde dancing on couches in the bottle service area for the readership.

 OK, you have the typical patters of behavior!  Posing for Cameras, whoring for attention and douche with cocktail staring up at her in awe.  (Not to mention Some asshole taking a photo, but it’s undercover work for the Blog, damn it!)

 You will run into girls like this in L.A and other major metropolitan cities.  You may think you need some supreme game, doing “Merge-sets,” pulling rabbits out of your hat, or throwing down lightening bolts like Zeus.  That’s all nice, but in reality, it’s really simple

Despite all of the “game” you study, whether it was some super cool routines you learned from Mystery, or some first class scumbag telling you about his “Nimbus,” or some woo-woo spiritual thing where you found you inner manliness while spending time with wolves in a remote forest somewhere, the formula remains the same.  

 The most efficient way to convince this particular type to leave with you, is to have minimal conversation, be dominant, and invite her to an after-party where you tell her there will be free flowing cocaine.  It’s either go or no-go.  Make it easy on yourself.  If no-go, then cut your losses, and move on!  Don’t analyze “How you should have gamed her better.”   It’s not the only way, and it’s not my style, but I have an obligation to tell you how it really is, and what the most efficient method would be!

 There, I just saved you a 1000 dollars once again!

 That’s a free tip to ya for reading my Blog ;-)  If you’re payin for dating-advice from some super guru who is going to teach you the ultimate dating technique, you’re getting rimmed in the ass without the benefit of a reach around. 

 All in all, it was fun hanging with guys and catching up.  It also was revealing in that I discovered one of the reasons why I don’t enjoy going out to these places.  Too often, guys are committed to staying the course.  They want to stay at the club til 2 AM, until it closes.  Problem is that after midnight, the quality of crowd plummets faster than Enron Stock after the scandal.  Upon closing, then guys want to stick around switching to limping gazelle/straggler game where they want to drag some drunk idiot home for a quick lay. 

 Not interested. 

 Once you go, you’re sort of stuck.  It’d be nice to go, stay for 30-45 minutes, chat with a few people, and then get the heck out of there.  However, as is the case with a lot of hotspots, there are so hoops to jump through that once people are in, they’re not leaving.  There is a whole laundry list: Contact the right promoter, show up at the proper time, pay 20 or 30 Dollars to get in, and now you’re stuck at that venue.  Too much vested just to get in.   

 Swinggcat is one of the guys who is committed to staying the course!  If he has to stay up until 3, 4, 5, in the morning, so be it.  He is committed to the hunt, and like a machine he will methodically try to capture something. 

 As for me, it’s become increasingly harder to talk to people whom I jokingly refer to as “Scum of society,” a phrase which Jon seems to enjoy quite a bit.  You could pretend to enjoy chatting with such people for so long.  Eventually, they figure out you don’t think very highly of them….  Sometimes, even then, they seem to still stick around wanting to talk to you even though they have a sense that you don’t think much of them.  That’s the weird oddity in all of it.

Which brings to me another unique dynamic: Limping Gazelle game.  (or Scavenger game.) You could read about it here:

http://attractwomenanywhere.com/blog/2009/06/15/the-limping-gazelle-game/

 Stragglers and those who seek them out create an interesting dynamic, and it should probably be explored more.  You may or may not ever be interested in going that route, but most guys have at some point, and either way, it’s interesting to read about.  If you stay the course ‘til bars close down, it’s an amazing thing to watch!  There is a mad feeding frenzy of men trying to hunt down stragglers.  It should be filmed and put out on Discovery Channel with the proper commentary! 

  I’ll write more about that in another blog entry, or maybe I’ll do a podcast with Sinn about on the topic.  “Stragglers” are a fun topic to discuss. 

 Aside from all of that, it was good catching up with the guys, and a good reminder that I don’t miss spending hours upon hours in a nightclub anymore….

 I have a few pals like this and it’s my repeated observation that they love telling stories about how great their life is.  Everything is embellished.  If they went to a nightclub that was nice, it happened to be the one of the hottest nightclubs in LA and consequently, in the world.  If they somehow sneaked their way in, it’s that they were given the royalty “VIP” treatment. 

 And if they actually went on a nice vacation, forget about it. 

  Everyone has things to work on and for me, this has been a particular sticking point. I do the opposite of exaggerating.  I play things down.  Let’s just assume hypothetically that I had just sat at a private dinner function with President Obama last night.  I wouldn’t talk about it, I wouldn’t mention it (Besides to close friend), and you definitely wouldn’t read about it.  It doesn’t matter how cool or extraordinary the event, I’d refrain from talking about to strangers in most cases. 

 Actions are driven by beliefs and in my experience, I’ve always deemed “Bragging” as a douchy thing to do.  It’s annoying and no one appreciates a bragger.  While I don’t aspire to be a bragger, I know that playing things down is not a positive quality either.  In my own mind, I don’t want to be associated with being a bragger and so I take the opposite approach.  Hence, it’s a bit of a personal sticking point for me. 

 What does this have to do with you?  While I am not encouraging you to brag, I am encouraging you to talk proudly about your accomplishments and experiences in life.  Too often, guys taking advice do not take the time to present themselves in the proper light.  Talking about yourself in high regard pays dividends. 

 As a matter of fact, you’re far better off being a bragger than a humble guy when it comes to general dating.  Yes,  you can even take it to the extreme and be a douchebag and still get girls.  I’ve known sleazy characters who made their bragging a full time job.  All the did was name-drop or brag about something they had done.  This particular group wouldn’t have been deemed naturals but they were guys who did OK for themselves.  Brag enough and someone will bite.

 You can read Jon’s article here:

 http://sinnsofattraction.blogspot.com/2009/09/traits-of-naturals-2-positive.html

  One of my buddies loves to repeat the same stories about his accomplishments. He is not a bad guy by any means.  I’ve known for years and we have fun when we hang out.  In his case, he does not even exaggerate.  It’s just that within a short time of knowing him, you’re going to know that he once did this or that, backpacked through Europe, slept with such and such model, and so forth,  Should you mention you like Led Zeppelin, he’ll tell you that he was there in 1975, Front row center.  It’s all true, and he is going to mention it to ya. 

 At this point, it’s automated.  I don’t think he deliberately thinks about doing so.  He just does it.  It’s his Modus Operandi.  Good guy, fun to hang with, and if you got into a physical scuffle, he’d have your back!  True to form, he’ll tell people the next day about how he had to put a beating on some chump in the bar.  As I said,  it’s a repeated observation and it’s worth mentioning.

 I was passing through AZ last week and got a chance to stop by to see Jon.  We did talk about this article, and then after some good sushi and happy-hour priced beers, we went to watch an 80s hard-rock cover band.  Gotta love 80s Hard Rock cover bands who dress up in costumes.. That and sharing a beer while there….

.

A buddy calls me up and tells me that he’s been doing “Bikram Yoga” as of late.  He raves about what a great workout it is and that I ought to try it.  Now, you have to understand that I am up for any sort of physical fitness.  I’ll pretty much try any physical activity or sport even if I am a complete beginner at it, and Bikram was on the list of things to try.  I’d done Yoga before here and there in normal commercial gyms, but never this “Bikram” thing.  What’s the difference? Bikram Yoga is done in a room that’s heated to 105 degrees Fahrenheit [40 Celsius] with 40% humidity.  This was to be done at the International Headquarters here in Los Angeles.

• Enter the Yoga-Nazi.  (Insert cheesy old Kung Fu movie soundtrack right here, including cow bell.)

Skinny Asian dude who probably weighed 140 pounds soaking wet, who couldn’t seem to stop condescending and berating people in the class.  He seems to actually enjoy putting the students down, most likely, because it gave him the illusion of power.  What he does not seem to enjoy is actually helping anybody become any better at what they’re doing. (And yes, Yoga-Nazi is a Seinfeld inspired reference.)

Forget walking over to someone to show how a particular pose is to be performed correctly!  This guy does not even strike a pose himself.  He talks a mile a minute but he refuses to show how anything is done. It becomes a case of the blind leading the blind.  We’re left to look at our neighbors to see what we are supposed to be doing.

You figure the dude is lazy and doesn’t really want to do the work himself, but it doesn’t stop there.  He goes on tirades of condescension and ridicule. In his thick accents, he starts yelling at various people, “You’re not listening to me! Your problem is you don’t listen! I know you have nice muscles but you need to listen to what I say…… You did the first part right, but the second part is completely wrong.  You are not here to do your own thing.  You need to listen better.”

He targets me a couple of times with his rants, and it takes every bit of restraint I have to not yell back at him, “Stop yelling you condescending little prick.”  I decide to be tactful, and go the “Borat” route, by saying in a very thick accent, “Don’t speak English!” He assures me that it’s OK and that we are here to speak the “Language of The human body.”   That, and I still need to listen better.  Of course!  Let’s not forget our listening skills.  I think about giving him the one-finger salute to show language of the human body, but at that particular moment, I’m having enough trouble holding back my laughter.

So I stick the whole 90 Minutes out. I don’t have to leave the room, nor I do feel like I’ve had the workout of my life.  I do the program that’s sold as the holy grail of Yoga, and spoken by such fondness by its performers that you’d think it’d be equal to Edison’s discovery of Electricity.

As far as the Fitness/Health aspect of the workout is concerned, it wasn’t anything to write home about.  It’s fucking hot man.  ANYTHING you do in 105 degrees Fahrenheit (40 Celsius) is going to make you start sweating like a whore in church.  Blowing a heavy fart may be taxing in such heat and humidity.  Now, imagine jogging, or playing a any sport in that heat.  Hence, doing an activity in such a heat is going to be tough but it doesn’t quite live up to expectations.

I definitely did not receive as good of a stretch with “Bikram Yoga” as I had with the “Normal Yoga.”  Flexibility is my main concern, and in normal Yoga, there are more in depth poses held for longer periods of time.  Bikram’s Sauna-Yoga rushes you through everything in order to get your heart rate up in that heated furnace of a room.

I think my disappointment came from the fact that it didn’t come close to the expectations people put on it.  “Amazing” and “Incredible” were words people throw out upon describing Bikram’s Sauan-yoga.  It’s another workout and you sweat your ass off, because it’s friggin’ hot! When you’re on the verge of heat exhaustion, you’re going to feel slightly drained, it’s safe to say.

I am sure someday someone is going to read this post and say, “Hey, I’ve been doing this Hot Yoga, and I’ve received good benefits from it.”  Any form of Yoga is going to have benefits to it.  I’d challenge that had you been doing the normal Yoga, you’d have received EVEN MORE benefits.  Nevertheless, the people who do this are fanatical sometimes.  Telling them that their precious Bikram version of Yoga is more of a gimmick than a scientific invention is tantamount to telling a fanatical Christian or Muslim you don’t believe in their God/religion.

—————————————————————————–

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Now, I am fascinated by this Bikram Yoga and where it came from.  Why do people rave about and how was the cult created?  Yoga  has been done for reportedly 1000s of years, in order to promote health and longevity.  It’s supposed to be about creating inner-peace, tranquility of the mind, and freedom of movement in the human body.

How did that become a fascist activity that creates a cult following in America in the past 15 years?  One that people treat like a religion of sorts and become defensive about?  What sort of a moron comes back to the fascist training at this facility?  Being fascinated with SOCIAL Psychology of human beings, I decide to start reading more about Bikram Yoga online. The story seems familiar from various account.

Bikram Choudhury, born in Calcutta India comes to the United States and decides to make lots of money off of Yoga.  Can’t fault anyone for wanting to make money through their trade.  However, this guy seemingly starts going the sleazy route trying to aggressively copyright and trademark his Sauna-Yoga.    While there are 100s (or 1000s) of various Yoga poses that have been around for millennia, Bikram Chode arbitrarily takes 26 particular poses and labels those as part of his specific regimen.  He wants to patent the idea of doing those 26 poses of Yoga in a 105 degree heat as something that can exclusively be done under his umbrella.

Egomaniac Posing as Jesus

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Those of you who live in Arizona during the summer are all fucked!  Doing Yoga in a park will probably land you a fine from Bikram Chode. I realize Wikipedia is not the best source of info, but apparently the excerpt below is common knowledge:

Bikram has aggressively enforced claims of copyright and trademark protection, most notably claiming that the sequence of asanas in Bikram’s Beginning Yoga Class falls under his copyright. His cease-and-desist letters and lawsuits (see the U.S. case Open Source Yoga Unity v. Bikram Choudhury, for example) have drawn protest from some North American yoga practitioners. In addition, his claims have incited numerous Indian historians and scientists to catalogue various yoga poses documented in ancient texts, with the intention of demonstrating that yoga poses vastly predate new copyrights.

It’s one of those moments that makes you wonder, why didn’t I think of that? I am going to have a new jogging method where you jog in 110 degree heat.  I’ll call it the “Cameron Jog.” In fact, I am going to invent the Cameron-Squats and Deadlifts.  How is it done?  You guessed it: 110 degree heat.

Why not even take this one step further. I am going to patent and copyright sex in heat!  (No pun intended.)   From now on, if you engage in sexual activity when it’s over a 100 degrees, you’re engaging in Cameron-sex. All you fuckers owe me money if you ever have sex in hot temperatures.

All quips aside, I am intrigued by the level of the consumer’s dim and robotic behavior.  Correct me if it sounds familiar:  A guy comes up with a new revolutionary idea in fitness  (get 6pack abs in 5 minutes a day, lose 30 pounds of fat in 30 days, do Yoga in a Sauna) and people flock because it sounds like it’s cutting edge.   And let’s be honest: We Americans are the worst at this.  We are the biggest consumer nation and the most susceptible people to charlatanism and approaches that use gimmicks based on faulty information and assumptions.

It never ceases to amaze me how people can fall for certain gimmicks and keep coming back for more.  I suppose it’s no different that trying to use NLP, memorizing a bunch of patterns in order to attract girls to you, or try to use some super routine stack that’s going to solve all of your issues.  Yet, it’s still shocks me.   I shall do Bikram Yoga 1 more time at this facility with a civil teacher just to get the idea for both sides, but paying $20 to do Yoga in a Sauna while someone berates you smells more of a cult than it does of a peaceful activity designed to induce inner harmony and better health.  Not to mention that this guy has made McDonald’s out of Yoga, and to stay true, he’s made sure his quality of service is on par with the nutrition of the food at McDonald’s.

If you enjoy doing Yoga in a 105 degree heat, go for it.  Try to do it in a manner that doesn’t put money in the pockets of a charlatan.  As for me, I am giving it one more try with a more pleasant teacher to give it a balance perspective.  It’s hard to justify paying $20 for a class of Yoga when I can get a BETTER normal version for free at the local gym, or perhaps pay that money to a local small time teacher who teaches people at the local park.

I’d feel much better supporting a local teacher who does it out of passion instead of a jerkoff who claims to promote supreme spirituality while showing off his 20,000 dollar Rolexes.  And I don’t have issues with the Rolex.  If you’re a prick, be a prick, but then don’t site Spirituality as the source of your drive.  That’s just fodder for comedy.  Yet, the comedy aside, it’s devout religious fanatical following speaks sadly about our society.  If you have never done Yoga, it’s probably a good idea to try it but make sure the Sauna-Yoga isn’t your first experience.

I found a fantastic article by a report on Bikram Yoga and his schemes if this story has somewhat peaked your curiosity.

http://featuresblogs.chicagotribune.com/features_julieshealthclub/2008/08/bikram-the-mcdo.html

 So Sinn [Jon] is in town visiting for a week.  It’s Sunday, and we finally have a day to relax.  Swinggcat [Josh] suggests we get together.  Sinn and Swinggcat haven’t really ever had a chance to meet.  They haven’t really had the opportunity to  “Quality Time” together cso we figured it’d be good to meet somewhere, and have a few beers. Swinggcat’s buddy has a place in mind that may be somewhat happening on a Sunday night.

 We got the plan down: We are to arrive at this place in Hollywood enjoy some ice cold brews, have some conversation, bullshit around and hey, socialize with the locals a bit too.  Upon entering the joint, it immediately becomes apparent that this particular joint is the habitat for malfunctioning members of society, the highest order of douchebaggery possible: The one and only group that is known as Hipsters!

 The night starts out fun with us chatting about different things, joking around, and discussing the whacky community for a bit too.  A bit later, the crowd starts pouring in, the music gets louder, the noise level becomes too much to carry a normal conversation.

 As I walk around, I quickly start to realize that I am dealing with one of the cesspools of society, this Hipster crowd.  New York City sewer rats wouldn’t be caught in this place.  They’d find it’s beneath them.

 Hipsters are a weird breed of people.  The Frat-boy party-forever crowd of the South Bay is just as shallow, if not more.  Only difference is that they don’t pretend to be any better than what they are.  They know their priorities: Cocktails and Parties, drugs and pussy.

 They make no bones about it and there is no effort to mask what they are.  They are what they are.  They’re shallow and superficial, but they don’t use that as a crutch to feel superior to others.  Plus, you can still have fun with the “Frat boy” crowd.  (or at least I can.) You can drink with them, tell dirty jokes, hear their stories about some girl they banged while being wasted last weekend in Vegas, and discuss other irrelevant crap.

 Hipsters are different.  As a group, they have that “Holier than thou” attitude, except that they have nothing to be proud of.  Their only accomplishment in life is choosing to a listen to an alternative band that no one else has heard of, with the record they bought from their allowance from their parents.  Whether they actually like the music is really irrelevant. What’s important is that few others like that band.

 If you live in a different country, you may be unfamiliar with these creatures.  Take the “Goth” crowd and take it one step further.  Imagine a group of people dressed in weird outfits because they want to be different than the rest of society, and yet they go to a social venues to be with 500 other people with the exact same limited mindset.  They don’t really work, or do much else.  They think they’re artistic and the proof of that is that they listen to musical groups no one has ever heard of.  However, because they listen to musical groups that no one has really heard of, they are better than you.  That’s the Hipster mindset.  Surly, arrogant, underachievers.   Hope that paints a picture of Hipster for ya. 

 As I walk around the club, I start to wonder if Hipsters are the most pretentious, phony, useless wannabes the planet has ever seen.  They contribute nothing to society.  At least, the frat boys keep the alcohol industry on its feet by over consumption of distilled Spirits.  Hipsters do nothing.  Some of them are under the illusion that they are artists but then they don’t produce any art.  They’re just really good at putting down anything that appeals to a mass audience.

 They do nothing.  Yet, when you walk up to one to say hello, you become quickly annoyed by their high level of obnoxiousness.  They’re like the asshole waiter from Office Space who wore 37 pieces of Flare.  That guy would be a hipster.  No wait, he couldn’t be a hipster.  He had a job!!

 I am disgusted by the venue, but in reality, more disgusted with myself for being in such a place.  It’d be good to chat with the guys, but they’re getting wasted on Alcohol.  I am sober. Stallone is once again yelling at me inside my head with his famous, “You’re better than that” speech. 

 Sinn has taken the honorable route of getting really wasted.  I can’t blame the guy.  Being drunk may be the only thing that makes this place tolerable.   He is working his way up to having 6 shots of Patron tequllia, part of his journey that night on the way to consuming about 14 cocktails.  The man’s ability to handle his alcohol without getting sick and throwing up is legendary.

 I am the sober guy.  Swinggcat has started having a few cocktails too.  He likes having a smoke after hitting a few cocktails.  He approaches two hipsters to chat with them, and he makes a joke to appease the hipsters.  Momentarily, the Hipsters appear pleased.  Then he bums a cigarette off of them.  The two hipsters have the body language of robots, very stiff, and mechanical.  I have no desire to talk the guys or the women of this place, and yet I can’t quite leave yet. 

 I realize that if I am not going to talk to any of these pretentious, surly misfits , then I might as well make the best of it.  I might as well entertain myself somehow!   I have my camera on me!  I should document the Hipsters, and so I start taking photos of them.  I am feeling Philanthropic.  I realize that if I Blog about these scumbags, then their existence may serve a purpose. It will have been fodder for entertainment. 

 I take some general shots of the crowd.  Then, I spot Two Hipsters standing on the side, doing what hipsters are good at doing: absolutely nothing.  The two friends are so mismatched in their outfits that it looks like they met on match.com from hell. 

Photo of first Hipster is here:

First Hipster

 As you can see, his outfit has a quaint feel of “Pee-Wee Herman in Neverland Ranch” feel to it. Sporting a 70s feel, he comes across as a pedophile who hasn’t quiet decided as to whom his next victim shall be.  He is studying them carefully.  He is just glad this is not the age of the Internet where people could look him up.

The 2^nd jerkoff is elusive. I am trying to take a photo but there are people in the way. 

-First picture, no good.  His back is turned to me!
  .
-2^nd  photo attempts. Nope. His face is blocked and by now, he can see I am taking photos of him.   By my third photo attempt, he probably thinks I am some creepy stalker.  He may think I am gay, or some sort of a maniac.  I don’t care.  I am relentless.  I want my Blog photo!  My Blog audience deserves that much.  The world deserves to see the hipster in all its glory.  This isn’t just for my blog anymore.  This photo has taken on a greater cause of global importance! 
   .
-3^rd attempt.  I see the Hipster.  He sees me for a split second and looks away.  It’s like an old Mexican standoff.  I point my camera, turn up the ISO as it’s dark in the alley, clear shot, FIRE!  Full blast, flash, photo, YES!! I capture the hipster for the world.  Here he is below:
  .
    

Bruno-vomit Hipster

 .

  I can’t begin to explain what he was thinking.  Looking like something Sasha Baron Cohen character Bruno threw up, he holds on to his hipster standards.  Long stockings- that even Santa Clause wouldn’t wear-up to his knee,  Addidas exercise shorts in case a Soccer game broke out,  not to mention a scarf wrapped around his neck just in case he ended up in Chicago by accident instead of Southern Cal.  And the beauty is that nothing matches. 

 You’d have to use a super computer to generate random patterns for hours to come up with something this poorly conceived.

 In retrospect, I kinda feel bad for this particular guy.  He is a victim of the Hipster scene. Somehow he was bullshitted into thinking that dressing this way would somehow make up for having been the awkward kid in school.   Nevertheless, this pretentious subcategory of scumbags has to be exposed.  The frat-party boys are scumbags are in their own right but we slay one beast at a time here.

 I start thinking of designing a T-shirt to wear at Hipster events, should I ever come back to such a scene again.  Jon seems to be more familiar with the nuances of these idiots more so than I.  I run the ideas by him while he is still coherent.  The following important conversation takes places between us regarding my T-Shirt Idea that leads to the genesis of a very important slogan :

Me
Man, these fucking hipsters are sooo annoying.

Sinn
Yep, they’re douchebags.

Me
Is there a bigger group of douchebag than hipsters? 

Sinn
Can’t think of one. 

Me
You know what’d be awesome?  To walk back into those bars wearing an anti-hipster shirt.  That’d be entertaining to see their reactions. 

Sinn
That’d be fun.  But they would not react.  That’s part of their surly attitude.

Me
But it has to be something offensive to Hipsters.  Something like, “I hate hipsters”

Sinn
They’d just ignore that.  They wouldn’t care.  They already know they’re scumbags.

Me
Hmm, how about something like, “Hipsters = The ultimate douchebags.” 

Sinn
Nope, that wouldn’t work.  They’d think it’s ironic.  They’d enjoy the attention.  You have to understand their culture and the hipster mindset.  A shirt like that is just giving them attention and they’d enjoy that.  Right now, you still haven’t gotten the hipster mindset.

Me
Damn it!  Trying to piss off Hipsters is harder than originally thought.
Well, this isn’t as easy as I thought. How about something like, “I break indie records in the name of hipsters??”

 Sinn
Wouldn’t work! 

Me
Why??

Sinn
You gotta understand the hipster mindset.  They like to act surly and arrogant and pretend they’re better than everyone.  A shirt like that would just give them a reason to act more surly and arrogant.  It just gives them more of an excuse to be a douchebag.  

[I take a few moments to think, considering the hipster culture, mindset and disposition.  This is not easy.]

Me
Hmm……….  I got it! I got it!! The perfect T-Shirt!

Sinn
What?

Me
Ready for it?  I Enjoy Pouring Gasoline on Hipsters!

Sinn
Fuck, I think you got it!  That’d work!  That’s actually pretty good.

Me
Well, they can’t ignore that!

Sinn
Nope they can’t!    They could pretend it doesn’t bother them, but it would. It’s just so violent and graphic.  They’d be horrified, and they couldn’t do anything about it, because they’re such pussies.

Me
That’s the beauty of it.  It’s horrific and violent.  It’s so vile, and disturbing.   Very Joe Pesci-esque.  It’s not ironic and it cannot be ignored, and yet they can’t do anything about it.  You in on this?

Sinn
It’s awesome.  They’d see it, and pretend it doesn’t bother them, but it’d get on their nerves, and being the biggest pussies in the world, they’d just do nothing about it. I’d wear one too.

Me
If you went to an Italian club, and wore a shirt that said I pour gas on Italians, for example, you’re probably not walking out in one piece.   Hipsters, for all their arrogance would just watch in horror. That’s what makes this great.

Sinn
If you make them, I’d wear one too.  We should do it. 

And that conversation was the genesis of my new T-Shirt idea! 

 “I enjoy Pouring Gasoline On Hipsters!”  

 
It’s perfect for cities like LA, NY, and specially San Francisco.  All three have large populations of arrogant, surly, rude, hipsters who do nothing in their lives except brag to each other about what no-name band they listen to.  I think this T-shirt would work well with a graphic.  If you’re a graphic artist, we could use your skills in producing an image, something like a hipster running at full speed towards a window while being set ablaze……. (And don’t worry, it’s a joke. We are not REALLY pouring gasoline on Hipsters.)

All in all, it wasn’t that bad.  I was able to entertain myself in a place I did not want to be in, and even got a great idea for a T-shirt.  Potentially huge money maker…  Just goes to show: You never know where a great business idea may come from, and hipsters can be inspirational.

.

At its time, it was THE major gathering of teachers of seduction.  Seduction experts from seemingly all over the world had come to this place by planes, trains and horseback to congregate and discuss their “Seduction methods.”

.

Super convention

.

About to take the stage was PUA-Goldie locks. [note: PUA is a moronic acronym that stands for Pick Up Artist.]  PUA Goldie-locks had male-model looks and an attitude to match.  We were in awe.  We were told we are in for something special.  We had been graced by greatness.  Wow, my first encounter with Goldielocks!

“You see that man up there?  Ha?  You see THAT Man?  He is the Don.  That man is the Don,” A seminar worker cheered.  I told him I thought that the last guy was the best.  He yelled back,    “Well, yeah, the last guy is the best, but then, this guy blows him away.  Listen to what he has to say.  He is that good.  Pay VERY close attention.  You understand?  You WANT to hear what this man going on stage has to say.”

So I watched and listened, attempting to absorb as much information as possible from this master who seemed to walk on water for most people.  Rumors flew around in loud whispers across the room.

–”I hear PUA-Goldie locks has been with over a 1000 women.”

–“Dude, no.  Not a 1000!  I heard PUA Goldie locks has been with over 2000!  That guy is really good.”

The envious stares gazed upon PUA goldie locks as he started telling his stories of how he sets up his scores with women.   What a life he leads. He has everything.  He looks like a male model, has women crawling all over him, and seems to have it all figured out.

Who could want more than that out of life?  Surely, he lived a life that left the mere mortals envious.  He was Zeus amongst the mortals.   Looking like a soap opera star, he always had women hanging around.  Sporting long silky blonde hair that danced to the wind, eyebrows plucked to perfection and skin that glistened so well it would make the girls at the Clinique counter wet with envy.

.

Goldie Loks in all his Glory

.

After his legendary appearance on stage, PUA Goldie-locks disappeared for a few years.    He vanished back into the fairy tale he came from.  People went their separate ways, but every so often, you’d hear about his presentation and the legend that surrounded him.  In speakeasy places, basements and dark alleys people whispered, “Whatever happened to Goldie-locks?” Across the land, in bars and hidden locations, inquiring and envious minds wondered….

Wow, what ever became of Goldie-locks?

I went my own way too.  I went out, tried everything, pushed the edge of social dynamics, became fanatical, discovering what was possible, studying nuances of human behavior, reaction and interaction, what made us tick, what made us react, what moved us and of course what attracted us.

I met and hung out with a whole lot of other PUAs, the top of the food chain, cream of the crops, Kings of the jungle, (I am running out of clichés.)  I went through the gamut.   I hung out with cool guys, good guys, talented guys, ambitious guys, socio-paths, pathological liars, and the like.

I became good in my own right.  Very good.  Able to approach strangers anytime, anywhere, leap tall buildings and stop runaway locomotives.  I had learned a lot to the point that I felt I had far surpassed any knowledge goldie-locks could ever teach.

Enter PUA-Golie locks into the scene once again:

• “Extra, Extra.  Goldie Locks has returned to Earth.”

Return of the Goldie-Locks

.

He is back and he is now a guru giving dating advice.   Through coincidence, we meet again at a local nightspot, and this time, I am no longer the kid with the envious eyes.  For better or worse, I am now considered a guru too even if I don’t want that label.  We meet on even plains this time.  His hair still glistens, his skin still done by clinique. No longer a student, I start hanging out with goldie-locks every so often.  We happen to frequent some of the same nightlife establishments.  We have a lot of conversations over the course of the next 6 months.  He has some very good ideas and some ideas I don’t agree with at all.

As we spend more time, I begin to realize a strange phenomenon:  That PUA Goldie locks is incredibly shallow.  It’s not that he is bad or good.  He is not evil nor is he out to get anyone.  He doesn’t mean anyone harm from what I can tell. He just operates on a very surface level.  Conversations never have any depth to them and he is never interested in anything more than Cocktails and After-Parties.

He is just shallow.   There is no better way to explain it.  I wish I had a better synonym or description.  His entire life revolves around “Cocktails” and “After Parties.”

A 100,000 years of human evolution has surmounted to : Cocktails and After parties.  If the fucking cavemen had cocktails and after-parties, we would have never progressed to space exploration.  So we ought to be thankful that cocktails and after-parties were not discovered too soon in our evolutionary curve.

I am talking to one of my favorite guys in the scene one day, and we are discussing mutual acquaintances.  Subject of goldie-locks comes up.  I say, “Ya know, it’s amazing: Cumulatively, I have had over 10 hours upon hours of conversation with that dude.  Yet, I know nothing about him, except that he grew up in the city of  [xyz].  That’s where he spent his high school years.

He roars: “Shit, that’s more than I know.  I didn’t even know what town he was from.”

I realize that the biography of Goldie-Locks is similar to that of Jesus of Nazareth in that there is no accounting for him before his mid 20s.  We know that Goldie-locks was born most likely in a hospital somewhere in America, but then we know nothing about him til he is like 25, ordering cocktails and going to after parties and banging chicks.

Over 10 hours of conversation, and I know nothing about goldie-locks.  I know nothing about where he grew up, what he did for a living before, what his passions are in life, if he has any passions, or if he has any aspirations beyond drinking cocktails and looking for after parties.  I don’t even know if watches or likes sports, politics, or underwater basketweaving.  He also knows nothing about me.

It’s not for lack of trying.  I tried to have a conversation that had substance.  12 hours of talking with someone and you’d think you’d know something about them, why they became who they are. Not Goldie-locks.  He just wants Cocktails.

It’s not that he is trying to be alpha, or that he is trying to be mysterious.  Nothing matters to him beyond a good time, a few cocktails and maybe some snatch.  And no, I don’t mean a woman.  I really do mean a snatch.  If somehow a piece of vagina could be kept on life support next to a cocktail bar, goldie-locks would be in Heaven. In fact, if goldie-locks believed in heaven, that’d be his depiction of it.

After 6 months of sporadically spending time with Goldie locks, I realized that he really doesn’t have any close friends, male or female, that his relationships are all running on surface level, discussing repetitive banal garbage that’d make one want to shoot oneself from boredom.  A tsunami could have just killed 500 million people in South east Asia and he’d be concerned if that’d affect the price & availability of his favorite rum.   In fact, I could see the interaction now.

.

Random Person
“Wow, Have you seen the images of the people
wiped out in the Sunami?, goldielocks?  It’s sad.”

Goldie-locks
“No, I haven’t.  I heard about it. It’s sad.  All we can do is
send them positive thoughts. Wow, it just cost
an extra $5 for my cocktail.  That tsunami does
affect everyone.  The price of imported
Rum has skyrocketed.”

Being a fan of human psychology, behavior and social interaction, I do wonder how such people come to exist. Are there brains wired differently than the rest?  OR is it a product of their social conditioning?  Perhaps a combination of both.  You’ve gotta wonder:  How can a person be so oblivious to anything that goes on around him?  People getting slaughtered in Dafur?  Important Presidential Election coming up in the United States?  Man thrown in jail wrongfully accused?

• “Cocktails, parties, more cocktails.  Where is  my drink?  Where is the party?”

And it’s not that I expect him to pick up a gun and go to Africa to fight the War-lord Mumba-lumba, in a crusading effort to bring justice.  But fucking hey, how about at least reading and knowing about it?

If a biographical movie were made about his life, it’d have the Seinfeld motif: “Goldielocks: The Life About Nothing!”

Growing up, I always held in high esteem people who stood for something despite the odds.  Actually still do.  So it’s rather befuddling to see someone who stands for nothing.   War, poverty, politics, burning of the rainforest, holocaust, global warming…. Nothing ever registers on his radar except cocktails and after parties.

I am reminded of the Vietnam -War Movies where one soldier carries his wounded friend on his back to the chopper and by doing so increases the risk of getting shot himself by a 100 fold.  He puts down his life to carry his friend out.  In my mind, I imagine if goldielocks had been in that situation.

Exterior- Dense Jungle- Daytime (Machine gun fire everywhere, explosions, chaos)

.

Wounded Soldier
I took a hit in my legs. I can’t walk
Godamit!

Goldie-locks
Listen, just think positive. I have to get
Going because I am really swamped right now.
I am busy Making arrangements for an after-party.
You should stop by too.

Wounded Soldier
What? I can’t walk!
Help me Goldielocks.
I can still hop on one leg.  Help me
GET ME BACK to
the chopper. Get me back to the LZ.

Goldie-locks
Listen, I’d love to help out.  But that’d slow
Me down and I’d miss the first chopper.
If I wait for the 2^nd chopper, I’d be late
to the after party…

Wounded Soldier
Come on Goldielocks.  Call in for some
Help.  I am in severe pain here.  I want to get
back home.   At least, leave your
Morphine pack here with.
It fucking hurts!!!

Goldielocks
I’d like to, but I’ve invited some lady friends
And I’ll be needing the morphine for the After-party,
If you know what I mean. (wink)
Again, I’d love to see you there!

Wounded Solider
Damn you goldie locks!  We are Marines!
Remember our code: God, Unit, Country!  Come on!
Help me limp outta here!!

Goldielocks,
Nope. The code is:  Cocktails, After-parties, Snatch.
Gotta go.  Come to the After-Party if you can.

.

It all seems silly in retrospect.  This is what I looked up to?????  This is what we were envious of??  This was the goal that was placed for us as a pinnacle of achievement in our personal life?

Maybe Goldie locks is a happy person circling through a revolving door of cocktails and after-parties.  However, the great thing about my journey is that it has taught me valuable lessons and allowed me to realize my core values more vividly than ever before.

Perhaps it is the mark of most socialites to have a whole lot of the same 5 minute conversations with other shallow individuals repeatedly.  (And make no mistake, Goldie-locks is a just one in a long line of socialites.)

It occurs to me that Goldie-locks could be Bill Murray’s character in the movie “Groundhog day” where his character lives the same day over and over again for many years.

WAIT!   Goldie-locks DOES live Billy Murray’s life in Grondhog day.   It’s cocktails and after parties everyday for a 100 years.  It’s the same 5 to 10 min conversation with the same pool of the same 20 people every day.  “Hey, how are you?  Good to hear.  How was your night?   What are you doing later?  What are you drinking? Where is the after party?  You coming to the after party?  You really should join us in the after party.”

Henceforth, I look at PUA goldielocks and think to myself,

“Man, I don’t want to be anything like this guy..  I am nothing like that dude, & his life is nothing I want to emulate.  Hey,  maybe it’s because I actually like having friends or maybe it’s that I actually enjoy talking women as human beings…..”

Despite the sarcastic satire of my reflections, I don’t dislike goldie-locks. In fact, when I next see him, I’ll probably joke around and discuss the next after-party over a cocktail, unless he reads this blog and identifies himself as goldielocks.  Then again, my blog doesn’t serve cocktails so odds are good, he wouldn’t be reading it.

Actually, I highly doubt he’d care even if he read it.  My blog doesn’t affect his after-party.  I do wonder if he knows he is shallow.  It’s like do really retarded people KNOW they’re operating from a diminished capacity? Do dogs know they’re dogs?  OK, enough random thoughts.

It occurs to me that goldielocks is practically a “mimbo.”  He is the male version of the club bimbos most people make fun of, or mock in pop-culture.  In retrospect, I feel a little silly having looked up to these people, even if it were just a brief period in time.  I did a couple of lessons from the experience.  I learned that the “lifestyle” some people sell isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be, and that you can learn a few pointers from somone without actually respecting his ways or behavior…..   We have Goldie-locks to thank for that.

Now, let’s drink a cocktail and figure out where the After-Party is tonight………

 The Birthday party was for Playboy Playmate, Spencer Scott.  Truth be told, I didn’t know who she was either, but a quick Google Search turned up the following:

So there it was….  To go or not to go…. And it’s not that I’d be going to meet the birthday girl, but it’s that you know an event like that on Sunset Blvd is going to be filled with a LOT of attractive women. Granted, most of the girls in that scene are people you want to pursue anything serious with, but as a man you still want to go. It’d be a fun event…

 To have attended that outside the establish parameters would have violated the 60-day challenge in its 2^nd weekend.  (And I thought about the old, well, I can start the challenge AFTER this weekend trick) but really, you can’t fool yourself.   I am also guessing that some guy may stumble upon my Blog while sitting in a basement somewhere in a small town in Nebraska yelling in sarcasm, “Yeah, it must be so tough for you Teone.  You can’t attend a Playmate’s birthday party because you are on some dumb challenge.  Wow, you have it rough.” 

 The 60-day challenge is not just about bars.  For me, it’s about establishing new boundaries and grasping new found knowledge.  It’s about seeing things from a different perspective.  Already, 10 days in, I’ve made quite a few realizations.  Only 10 days in, and I’ve experienced a small epiphany of sorts.  It’s not from the actual act of not going to these places.  It’s the actual mental switch that takes place. 

Anyhow, all that notwithstanding, not going to that party last night was really tough.  There will be plenty more parties later.  Time to get back to work.

 Let’s be honest: Bars are a waste of time.  Once you’re past 25 years of age, and you’re still often frequenting bars and clubs, you are wasting your time.  I write this with the presupposition that you’re an ambitious person, and if you read my blog, you probably are.  I still go to bars too often, even if it’s just ONCE per week, it’s still too much, I believe. 

 There is the inherent problem.  It’s a matter of conditioning, knowing where the bounty is.  If you’re a pirate, you hit certain parts of the Ocean to take your loot; If you’re a religious organization, you prey on people’s desperation and naiveté, and if you’re a guy looking for a gathering of women in abundance you hit the bars.

 On the one hand, you deal with a population that comprises of 80% scumbags, all gender inclusive, especially if they’re over the age of 25.  Scumbag is a strong word for it.  I have a lot of acquaintances in the South Bay who hit the bars all the time, and they’re not bad people.  They’re just retired frat boys as I’ve alluded to before on this blog.  They’re some of the “Good people” of the bar.  On the other hand, that’s where the sexy dressed women are.  It’s what my buddy Jon calls the battle of brain versus penis, and in my opinion, depending on how much testosterone you have as individual male, the battle becomes very one sided.

 It’s similar to the line in “Dog Day Afternoon.”  Upon being asked, “Why are you doing this,”  Al Pacino’s character, Sonny, who is robbing a bank replies with a thick Brooklyn accent: “Why?  Because they got money here.”  (Seriously, if you haven’t seen “Dog Day Afternoon,” you need to get a copy and watch is ASAP. Great movie.  Make it a date night.)   

 That dynamic applies to bars and clubs.  “They got pussy here” is what Sonny would have said. The dynamic is further compounded by the fact that I can go to any bar anywhere, and pretty much talk to anyone I want, and I actually do that.  Sometimes it goes well and sometimes not so great, but I don’t have issues approaching and striking conversations with strangers. 

 Most people in bars are onlookers.  90% of men stand around and stare wishing they could to women.  They stare, they hover around in close proximity, and even some guys who are good reply on getting pretty wasted on alcohol before they start accosting the women. 

 Yet, it doesn’t change the fact that it’s a waste of time to go so often.  A buddy of mine, (a now retired dating coach) used to argue that bars are just for social people who are extraverted.  Well, perhaps, but using that logic, you can conclude that it’s a place for people who enjoy paying 6 to 7 dollars for a beer.  (If you’re reading this in Iowa, yes, that’s how much a beer costs in LA or NY.)

 There are social instances where it’s an occasion to go to see your pals.  You could go to a bar to see a basketball/football game on TV while having a few brews, and you may go to shoot pool and relax.  The chief goal of why guys go to nightclubs is to meet girls.  Let’s not mask that.  The primary reason why women go is not to get laid, although some are open to possibility.  Despite that paradox, it’s the place where alcohol mixes with bimbos and douchebags and the results sometimes produce something possibly even worse than Bill O’Reilly.

 Back in the Project Hollywood days, I used to go quite often. We all did.  That was 2004.  We didn’t even drink much.  It was some weird sport almost.  These days, (last few years included) I go once a weekend, (sometimes twice).  Though I may skip a weekend here or there, it’s pretty consistent.  Now, like anything else, it has become conditioned.  The weekend rolls around and you start making plans where to go.  It’s Fri or Sat night and you  feel like you should be out somewhere.

 I had this conversation with Stephen Nash when he was out here visiting.  He and I used to be “Wingmen” quite often back in the old Project Hollywood days, and we did pretty well for ourselves.  Stephen is also a naturally extraverted guy who is social and into the performing arts, so we can relate to each other well.  He issued a challenge and said, “What if you didn’t go to bars anymore for 2 months?  Just as an experiment to see what’d happen.  What have you got to lose?”   

He has a good point and part of me wanted to argue with him, but I knew that he was right.  I am going to guess that for a lot of guys reading the blog, there is a reaction of “What’s the big f**king deal?”  For a lot of guys staying home is actually easier than going out to a night spot.  For me, it’s the opposite. 

 So, I am taking 2 months off.  I’ll go out with friends but not to bars.  Only exception may be a birthday party but my close friends don’t have birthday parties at bars.  The only other exception is if someone actually manages to somehow talk me into coaching him “In-field” which is something I don’t do much anymore, and something I don’t even like doing.   

 Coaching is part of the problem.  That’s how a major part of  this began:  When you do live “In-field” coaching, part of you feels like you should be out there keeping your cold-approach skills sharp.  That’s another contributing factor.   In an industry filled with charlatans and liars, the pressure even mounts on more.  You feel like you’re one of the few honest people who needs to carry the burden.

 I’ve met everything from guys who are just unsocial but savvy marketers, to the socially weird, to creepy, to those who have no friends, to those who leverage their position in the porn industry, to those whose primary source of sex is paying for it!  I’ve met them all.   And hey, I am not judgmental on hiring hookers, but you really shouldn’t be giving dating advice if that’s your method.   That’s like a guy giving you advice on how to be a successful farmer, and he only gets all his fruits and vegetables at the local giant supermarket chain.  Something’s amiss.

 So, that’s how it sort of all started and now it has become habit.  Like anything else in life, you do it long enough, and it becomes part of your daily/weekly routine.  It’s an important key factor to recognize!  You can condition yourself with new habits constantly.  It’s the first few weeks that tough.  Be it going to the gym, be it doing a certain activity, whatever…

 So now I’ve started to implement a new habit.  For the months of April and May, no bars or clubs on Weekends. (And obviously, I don’t go on weeknights anyway.)   Everything else is acceptable.  House parties are allowed.  Dates are OK. Movies are fine, and heck if I have to sit home and read a book, watch a Lakers game or type out a Blog post on a Friday night, that’s fine too.  Just no Bars or clubs of any kind.  This is not particularly easy for an extrovert who would rather socialize with random people than just “Chill out” alone at home.

 Last night was the first test.  Friday afternoon, a buddy of mine called up and said he was going to some place in Orange County (which I rarely venture to.)  He had a “Hook up” at some place where he knew the promoters and could get us in easy.  “It’s supposed to be great, etc, etc..” 

 Didn’t go.  Don’t plan to either.  The decision has been made.   60 days, no bars, and I’ve extended that to places that bar people would hang out.  So no hanging out for too long a period at a house party where there are a plethora of people that you’d see at the bar any other night…   (who many times end up leaving the house party to go to the bars around midnight anyway.) 

 Let’s see how this experiment turns out…….  Stay tuned.

While Stephen Nash was in town, he got in touch with an acquaintance we’d met in 2004.  He is an interesting character with certain abilities that are somewhat rare.  In essence, he is a representative of a certain archetype.  He is the spawn of a certain way of being.  He represents the Aristocrat with the big farts.  That’s part of the adventure of having been involved with this stuff.  It’s having met such a range of individuals who normally you wouldn’t cross paths with, and probably wouldn’t want to either.

Granted, part of this Blog is about dating, but I am more interested in people, social psychology and human interaction and character.  So with that in mind, let’s get to the Aristocrat.

Chances are you may have met such people at some point.  If you haven’t, they’re exactly like the stereotype you see portrayed in movies.  Their patters of behavior are usually similar and contemptible.   So who are they?

They’re the type of people who are always bragging about something grandiose; they host get-togethers with their quasi-friends, at douchebag parties, and pat each other on the back as they subtly try to do outdo each other, but they pretend that that they are not trying to do that, and the other sides pretends to pretend that they don’t know what’s going on within the dynamic.

All in the meanwhile, the entire place stinks with their farts, and everyone knows exactly what is going on.

You know they’ve been in the room, because they’re out blowing big farts.  You can smell they have been there after the fact.  They actually want you to know they’ve been there.

Walk into any conversation and you’ll hear namedropping about where they went for vacation, whether Monaco or some resort in Thailand that cost 10, 000 dollars per night in the case of our acquaintance we for dinner.  Here is the kicker: The stories are never described in the sense of sharing the good time with someone else so that they can enjoy it vicariously through you.  There is always the subtext of “Look at how great my life is” and “I am better than you are” to every conversation.

The conversational dynamics are one sided.  They never seem to ask how you’re doing, or they may ask briefly but they don’t care for your answer. That becomes evident when, after 2 minutes, they change the topic immediately.

Sometimes such people even give you advice!  Yet, the advice lacks any human compassion.  It becomes abundantly clear that they’re not giving you advice because they care to see you better or they want to help, but it’s so that THEY can feel like some powerful guru.  (Even if they are not in the guru business.)

These are the people who want you to believe they’re in the intellectual elite of society.  Their average IQ is somewhere around 110-120.  There exists the problem: They’re definitely smarter than the average person, but not smart enough to see how fucked up they are.

Los Angeles seems to attract a special breed of these people.  It’s difficult to say which city has the most pretentious Aristocrats, LA or NYC.

Signs of the Aristocrat who blows big farts:

• Drives a V-12 Jaguar that gets 9 miles to the Gallon to an Environmental meeting,
• Can’t shut up about Yoga and health, but consumes every narcotic known to man.
• Loves to discuss spirituality, and tell you about the latest spiritual book, but doesn’t give a shit about you or anyone.  Its self-absorption is unrivaled.
• Loves to feel superior discussing art, and can be very critical of other people’s art, but the common trend is that he/she produces Nothing artistic and creates no expression that is pure and worthwhile.  An ideal person to become a professional music critic.

He/she is the Pretentious Aristocrat blowing big farts!!!

———————————-

• Back to the dinner Stephen and I had with the wannabe Aristocrat:

In his own mind, he is a legend I am sure.  In real life, he is a worthless mooch.

He has made a career of siphoning things off of other people, but in his mind, he sees himself as a swashbuckling adventurer.  He speaks as though he has done spectacular things that would leave mere mortals in envy and yet, on some level, he is a glorified bum.

For this reason, I’ve nicknamed him “Wannabe Dangerously.”

He is not a pick up teacher or a dating advisor and you’re not going to hear about him very much, yet most of the guys from back in the project Hollywood know him.  Thus, I can’t use his real name in this post, but his persona sure begs being dissected.  He is not even an Aristocrat, but he is a wannabe who has learned to infiltrate their circles and leech off of them.

“Wannabe Dangerously” [WD] always manages to attach himself to people with high social status.  What’s more fascinating is his ability to be able to charm people of high social status into giving him things, allowing him to stay at their mansions, etc.  He is a charming version of Cato Kalin.  He has gone through long periods of not having an actual home and yet he has managed to find places to stay.   We are not talking crashing on your pal’s couch here.  We are talking having your own room in a magnificent house for free.  This is his specialty.

Perhaps, the most interesting thing about him is his ability to convince himself that he is somehow drawn to these people because he genuinely thinks of them as interesting cool people.  IF he lived in Africa, he’d have his own suite at the mansion of some Warlord who slaughtered women and Children for breakfast, and “Wannabe Dangerously” would convince himself that this warlord was a genuinely good guy who was trying to help these people.

In the “Project Hollywood” days, it was no different.  He would come around and focus on charming those whom he saw as having value in his eyes.  He’d hover around Mystery and Tyler while being condescending to many of the other guys there, (even though the other guys were actually more genuine, cordial dudes who ultimately were more interesting as well.)

Barry Kirkey used to joke about how WD just wanted to suck Tyler all the time, and Seth called him, “3 Stories.”  To this day, if you want to get a reaction out of Barry, just bring up the experience of dealing with WD.

Part of WD’s ability to charm certain high status people is that he is a snob just like they are, and somehow they are able to connect on that level.   In essence, he does not attract high social status people who are actually genuine people.   For the most part, he tends to attract people who are likeminded like he is, and then he somehow charms them into giving him free shit.  This guy could make a million dollars if he could ever reverse engineer how he is able to charm and seduce pretentious rich people into giving him free services.

Part of that ability comes from his grandiose stories, and this is why Seth had nicknamed him “3 Stories.’  Seth had met WD on several occasions and every single time, WD had repeated the exact same 3 stories by him.  He uses the grandiose stories to charm very tactfully.  Well, except for one time when he met a New Yorker acquaintance of mine who had just moved to Santa Monica.

Wannabe Dangerously figured the guy in his 20s didn’t have a whole lot of money so he figured he’d cut through the chase and discover if the guy has rich parents.  He posed the question: “So, what’s your story?  Are you one of the Rich New York Jews?”

————————

The saga of “Tittlian logic”

In true form, WD, kept us informed of his newest stories and one in particular was some new pseudo bullshit science that was meant to tantalize us and encourage us to worship him.

Wannabe Dangerously turns to us and says, “Have you heard of the concept of Tittilian logic?”  (Ps.  I have no idea how to spell this and if you do know, email me.)  Stephen and I have not heard of this grand concept, so the mad genius decides to inform us of what it is.  He starts to focus on me more as he explains the concept, but he sets it up as though it’s something so profound, so deep, that I should be experiencing goose bumps as he tells me.

So, as I am wondering if I should break out a protractors, and if WD is going to share knowledge that will require drawings of cosigns and tangents, advanced Calculus, theoretical physics not to mention the usage of Euclidian and non-Euclidian geometry, I think that maybe I should even get my brother on the phone (He is a mathematics genius), and prep for this even, WD starts his rant:

“You see, it’s this incredible concept that challenges cause and effect.  In our universe we think as cause happening before the event.  That is the way Cause & Effect is traditionally thought of.”

Words on a screen cannot do his explanation justice.  I’d have to do an impression of WD.  His body language has to be witnessed, his tonality has to be heard.  His face occasionally looks up towards the ceiling as though he is grasping the knowledge from the Heavens and his arms move up and down, while his voice jumps a few octaves every so often.  It’s as though Einstein is talking to a group of first graders who just started school.

We concur with his basic premise of “Cause and Effect.”  I am familiar with basic physics after all, and  Newton’s first law, although I think WD would find it hard to believe.

Wannabe Dangerously continues:

“Tittilian logic challenges that.  It says sometimes the effect brings about the cause.  For example, when someone says, ‘I want to go to the moon.’  Well, the causes that would enable that to happen haven’t even happened yet.  The causes are not in place yet to allow that to happen.  The causes come from the vision and the effect.

Unimpressed, I reply:

“Sounds like, a person’s idea being a cause or a genesis of sorts that triggers a sequence of events.”

Wannabe Dangerously is displeased.  Condescendingly, he replies:

“well, Yes, you can get into circular logic that way.”

I tell him, “Seems like a lot of events in the world, both good and bad, have come from ideas of certain people.  Ideas are the cause of a chain reaction.”

The Mad genius is pleased again.  He tells me, “Yes, that’s what this is about.”  Then he continued with his story that reeked of more bullshit which is not worth writing about at this time.

The key point to take away is that this is the calling card of this archetype.  Take some concept which is relatively simple and exaggerate it into something intellectually spectacular,  and discuss it as though it’s something that would leave Einstein and Newton in envy, and then have a condescending attitude about the fact that you knew it and your opposition (Errrr..I mean pals)  didn’t.

—————————-

The Story of Benzo, and the UNTOLD end of “Project Hollywood”:

the Story Neil excluded from the Book

Most of the original and noteworthy characters mentioned in “The Game” had fled “Project Hollywood” in the last few months.  Little is talked about that time period. Stephen had fled back to NYC,  Barry, suffering from depression & OCD, had embarked on some peace finding journey, and Herbal’s room had been turned to a barracks.  I didn’t go around anymore either, but Wannabe Dangerously used to pop over there to hang out.  (Mainly because he had nothing else to do.)

Apparently, some guy named Benzo had moved in to the house without paying any rent.  It seems like no one knows his REAL first or last name. He was simply Benzo, a conman who had promised the remaining residents of the house a free stay in a private room at his mansion in Manhattan.  His promises were endless and “Benzo” seemed congruent because he seemed to believe his own crap.

Only problem was that Benzo had nothing.  He was now living at the mansion for free and they couldn’t get rid of him.  This is completely omitted from Neil Strauss’ book (probably because it doesn’t involve Neil himself and to be fair, Neil himself wasn’t living at the house anymore.)

Benzo was a full fledged conman ripping off men who had their name on the lease, and they couldn’t get rid of him.  They called the cops.  The police arrived, and Benzo was such a convincing conman that he duped the police into believing he had a right to leave there, and that he was afraid for his life.

Here was a random asshole living in the house he didn’t belong in, with no paper work to support his case, and they could NOT Get rid of him!!

According to WD, things became so insane that eventually everyone just moved out, paying a penalty, ending the lease early and just leaving the House behind; letting the landlord deal with the remaining Benzo.  That was the real end of Project Hollywood.

The story, while alarming, is rather interesting.  A group of guys who had tirelessly studied and practiced manipulation tactics were conned out of their own residence.  Equally interesting to me is WD’s description of it.   He talks about Benzo with envy and admiration.

“He was great.  I love that guy.  We used to have lunch together…”
“He was just such a character.  Gotta love Benzo.”

Part of you can’t help but feel this disgust when listening to Wannabe  Dangerously.    Benzo is the guy who ripped off people whom he called friends.  He ripped them off for 1000s of dollars and WD ADMIRES him?   But then this is the not the first time WD has expressed admiration for such persons.

As I watching “WD” rant endlessly, I have a sudden moment of epiphany, one of those Chazz Palmintery at the end of “Usual Suspects” moments.  We’re talking one of those “Oh shit, I just realized who the real Kaiser Sose is!” type of moments.

I didn’t have a coffee mug, but the moment was so powerful I almost wanted to order a  mug of  coffee just so I could shatter it.

A Chazz Moment

I realize: Wannabe Dangerously IS just like Benzo.  He is a spitting image of him.   He, in essence, IS a Con-Man who believes all of his own crap.  Because he seriously & genuinely believes his own crap, he is able to convince others including his pals, his peers, and his own girlfriend.  This is why he loves Benzo.  He in some ways IS Benzo.

He is a conman who has convinced himself of his bullshit.  There is no incongruence, no guilt, no remorse.  He marches on because he believes his own crap.

That is the secret to his ability to be a leech, sucking things from those with social status.  While to many of us, he is a contrived, pretentious, and shallow individual, he is still able to sell that crap to others because he genuinely believes his own bullshit.

The dinner with Wannabe Dangerously lasts about 2 hours, 80% of which featured him doing the talking.  As of now, Stephen and I don’t have mansions to offer him, so we are not high on his list of people to charm.  And despite having to endure condescension, the story of Benzo did provide some entertainment.

———-

PRACTICAL PORTION OF THE SHOW

As always, there has to be some practical aspects to the blog.  While the posts are meant to entertain, they’re also meant to give you something you can apply in everyday life:

• So how do you handle such a situations?

What if you were to attend a party, or a dinner meeting, and had to interact with an Aristocrat with big farts [ABF]?

There are 3 primary options to choose from in such a situation.  Based on your particular personality and the context of the scenaior, you can choose which is appropriate:

• Option 1: Ignore the Pretentious Prick

This is by far the best option.  The Aristocrat blowing big farts wants to ensure  that you give him respect that he/she has never earned.  Hence, the reason for blowing big farts.  He wants everyone to smell him from far away.  Ignoring him/her is the worst insult.  You’re unimpressed by his trip to Monaco, or how he had a recent steak that cost a 1000 dollars by cows that were massaged daily and jerked-off by courtesans with the finest hand lotion that cost a 100 dollars per bottle.

There is  1 caveat to this.   You can’t choose to ignore them if you have a meek personality.  You have to come across as a cool guy who is just unimpressed.  Think Steve McQueen

• Option 2  :   “Outsnob the snob.”

This is a more fun option.  You  can opt to match their elaborate stories and raise the stakes.  You can then watch the Aristocrat with the big farts struggle to pull something else out of his ass in order to out do you.  Heck, he may even give you props.  Talk about how you (or your friend) visited some tiny Island in South America/Greece/Italy that’s only available to locals and you absolutely must know locals to even know the place exists.  Awww, this will partly drive the “Abf’ nuts to know that there is a place that he doesn’t know about, but at the same time, he will give you much respect for being able to match his/her snobbiness.   Talk about some pristine clean beach unavailable to tourists that’s not advertised anywhere.   Discussing this will earn the respect of the ABF

• Option 3:   “Humor them a bit.”

Well, what if you’re not a position to choose option 1 or 2?  You could be a 24 year old recent college grad at some party and you’re talking to a guy who could potentially be your employer.  You can’t ignore him, and outsnobbing him will not get you the job.  You could be a guy in his 40s or 50s, who just moved to a big city like LA or NY and are new to the area and don’t want to rock the boat yet….

In this case, you have to indulge the Aristocrat blowing big farts.  Ask questions and you must seem interested in their pretentious answers.  Tell them, you’ve been considering a vacation, but are unsure whether you want to hit Monaco or some resort in Thailand.  You’ve heard great things about both places, but they’re both so fascinating and ever so interesting.  “What do you think?  What would you recommend Mr. ABF?”

Ahhh, they will give you a 20 minute explanation.  It’s not that they care about you or your vacation.  The AFB loves to hear the sound of his own voice, especially when it’s in the frame of being an authority.  You may have to eat a bit of humble pie on this one, and you can have fun tooling the ABF (Think Borat), but it won’t win you respect.  The ABF will tolerate you and even invite you to the next party, but rest assured that in his/her eyes, you have now been downgraded to 2^nd class citizen.

Again, if you need that job, then you gotta do what you gotta do.  However, the 3 options displayed above have provided a roadmap on how to deal with the “Aristocrat Blowing Big Farts” Archetype person.