It’s safe to say that we got along rather well instantly.  We had a lot of the same interests, passions and values.  He was curious to hear about what I taught. I don’t know that he thought of himself as a player per se, but he was good.  Nope, that’s not true.  He was REALLY Good.  Without exaggeration, one of the best I’ve ever come across.   At the time, where self-narcissistic writers would publish books self-proclaiming themselves as the greatest pick up artists in the world, Matt just did his thing.  He never boasted about it, nor did he care to write books about it.  He dated far better looking women with far higher frequency than the great self proclaimed “Pick Up Artists” with published books and TV Shows.

Needless to say, I learned a few good things from him, and maybe he learned one or two things from me.  That’s irrelevant though.  Sure, we had common interests in Martial Arts, Politics, Business, and Dating but we got along because we both were very passionate in our ideals and beliefs.

This whole self-help business is a tricky one; it’s a world of phony gurus and self-indulgent pretentious pricks.  That’s probably a truism that applies to many industries but it just seems to surface more readily in this one. 

He was the exact opposite of that.  He was the guy who had your back.  He’d give you the shirt off his back to help you out.  If you were stuck or stranded, he was one of those guys you’d call for help. Dudes like that are rare regardless of what sort of peers you have.  Maybe it was part of what had been ingrained in him in his previous job.  An ex Navy-Seal for 8 years, he took seriously the welfare of his friends.  I think it was more than that.  He had character.  I think you have to have character first and the rest falls in line later.

Living on opposite coasts, we only saw each other once a year.  We kept in touch via phone call, emails, and yes, even Myspace.   There are people you meet in life with whom you develop strong ties with, and you know that bond is there even if you haven’t spoken or seen each other in months.   He was a great guy, and I know that I am not really doing justice to him amidst my confused emotions. 

I had received an email from him after he had recently gotten back from Europe.  He was thinking about a trip to CA.  We’d been talking about the idea for months.  Just for one reason or another, it kept getting postponed.

So, “Shocked” isn’t the word to describe how I felt two days ago after receiving an email that Matt passed away a few days ago.  An ex girlfriend of his emailed me to let me know about funeral arrangements for this weekend. 

I have had sometime to think about it and I still don’t have much to say.  All the good clichés seem taken and wouldn’t change anything anyway. 

All I know is that I’ll miss my friend.  You were inspirational to a lot of people, including me.  Always will be! 

     The great abomination known as the LA PUA Summit held  six months ago actually featured two great speakers in Sinn and Dave Wygant.  There was only one problem: The two couldn’t get along and now bad blood has been brewing since.  The details of what sparked the bad blood is still unclear.  I’ll have more details when my journalistic abilities catch up to my blogging capabilities…

Recently, Sinn challenged David Wygant to a 3 round boxing match.  (Actually, I am not really sure if he mentioned 3 rounds specifically.  But I figure 3 rounds is a good number since neither guy is a pro.  And I am not a real fucking reporter either, so cut me some slack.)

3 Rounds of Boxing for Charity to settle their scores like men. Two old-school pugilists drawing battles lines in the “sweet science.”  The charity of choice is yet to be determined.  Sinn is very adamant about wanting to make this happen!  Every time, I talk to him, he expresses his excitement about the chance to face Dave Wygant.  His disapproval and disgust towards Dave seems very real. 

At print time, we were still waiting on word from Wygant’s camp on whether he’d accept the challenge.  I’ve met and hung out with Dave a few times, even partied together, and I gotta admit, the guy seems like he is in pretty good shape.  He doesn’t seem to drink very much either.
Tale of the Tape:

Sinn:

• In his 20s,
• Has youth and the determination to fight DW on his side,
• Good cardiovascular shape, (assuming by the fact that he plays basketball.)
• Expert at picking up women at bars and clubs. 

David Wygant:

• In his 40s, (giving away 20 years to a more youthful hungry opponent.)
• Has about a 5 inch height advantage. 
• Also 3-5 inches of reach-advantage as he has long arms. 
• Also outweighs Sinn by about 20 pounds. 
• Great at meeting women at Whole-Food supermarket chain.

While Sinn has the obvious youth and stamina advantage, it’s not as clear cut as it may seem.  He is giving away a lot of weight, height and reach to Dave Wygant and this could become a concern.  Both men must capitalize on their obvious advantages.

• Strategy to win:

Dave can keep his enormous reach advantage and lengthy arms to keep Sinn away. Mainly through his jabs.  Wygant must throw 20-30 jabs in each round in my estimation while keeping Sinn at bay.  Then in the clinch, use his weight and height to lean on Sinn to tire him out.

Sinn, on the other hand, must fight his way to the inside. He needs to work his way in past Dave’s jab, (ala Mike Tyson in his prime), and once he is close, pound Dave Wygant with heavy hooks to the body to take the wind out of Wygant’s sail.

It’s unknown how much boxing experience each man has, but it doesn’t seem to be very much so the fight may end up looking like one of those “Tough Man” contests.
 

Nevertheless, it promises to be exciting and it’s for a good cause.  This is why I am making the announcement that I am volunteering to be the referee for this fight.
Stay tuned for more information….  I’ll have word from both camps, the latest results and potential venue.

More to come in the forthcoming weeks………

I never thought of it that way, but damn it, he is right. I talk to lots of people, most of whom I lovingly refer to lovingly as the “OG’s”. (OK, it’s more of a joke but go with it.) OG stands for Original Guru, basically guys who were around teaching before Neil Strauss released his ode to self-indulgence, otherwise known as “The Game.”

The point of this blog was to talk about attraction, dating, and my satirical observations of human behavior, society, culture, and idiosyncrasies. Then it occurs to me that there is an entire seduction-community out there that is as eccentric as a one legged hooker with the personality of Howard Hughes, and it begs being talked about.

We’ve got all kinds of guys: We have the Genuine guys, Passionate guys, and knowledgeable guys. We have flakes, primadonnas, the self-absorbed, the self-indulgent, and the self-deluders. We have the shady guys, hacks and sociopaths.

How can you not make social commentary on such a scene? If nothing else, there has to be some unbiased journalistic reports of the latest current events and who better than an impartial unbiased observer me like me? I’d be doing you a disservice if I didn’t comment on this stuff.

I’ll still be putting my “normal” blog posts but occasionally I’ll be keeping you abreast of latest goings-on of the community.

Continuing to examine social currency from the last post, we find ourselves at a trendy Nightspot in a major metropolitan city. Every city has such places and the ones in L.A and N.Y. exemplify this dynamic the best.

In Los Angeles, for example, one such place would be the hotspot known as “Les Deux” where they even make attractive women wait in line. The “Super hot ones” get in first and the merely hot sometimes have to wait a while since their social currency has just been devalued just a bit. Of course, as nightclubs are a revolving door business, and thus, Les Deux may not be the hot spot a year or even 6 months from now. That’s a post for a different time, however.

If you do live in a major metropolitan city, you probably should go to such a place one night just to watch the interactions. Instead of being caught up in the moment and finding a way to schmooze your way in, step back and look at from a bird’s eye view. Just observe it. It’s like discovery channel. It really is like watching animals, or herds of cows competing to get inside a grassy field so they could graze…. “For all the advancements in science, technology, and expressions of art, it’s come down to this? People elbowing each other like herded animals at the trough trying to get the attention of a promoter to let them in?” That’s the prevalent thought that goes through the mind. (or at least my mind.)

Step back, even further to get a better overall picture. Yet, look closely at the details from afar and you’ll see: The very attractive women who walk right in, the normally attractive women who have to wait 20 minutes in line, and the average women who latch to the better looking ones so that they have a chance to even get in.

There is the affluent guy walking right in and having the red velvet rope lifted for him, there is bouncer trying to make extra cash on the side taking bribes to let the non-affluent in, there is the main promoter in charge who cannot wait to get off work to snort a line of blow the length of a football field, there are his cronies working under him hoping to one day have his position, there is the drug-dealer who provides the promoter with his cocaine, (sometimes the promoter is the actual dealer too,) there are guys on the guest list waiting their 20 minutes to get in, there are the guys who have who have a friend on the guest list trying to finagle their way, and then there are a whole lot of guys standing around for hours hoping to get in.

That’s the nature of the game. 100,000 of years of evolution and still too many cave people trying to get inside the special cave. It’s interesting to watch form a social-psychology perspective. I can’t say that I am so much above this, I’ve been to these places. They can even be fun for a while if nothing else but to observe the human dynamics.

In fact, if you ever meet people who work in these environments outside of their work, you’ll note that they have intriguing stories to tell. I remember one top “Doorman” telling me about how he’d make 3 to 4 thousand dollars on a good night, just from taking bribes to let people in, and how he has none of that money because he blew it all, (mostly on drugs.) (ps. Don’t ever call it a “Bribe” when talking to people who work these jobs.)

So it’s a game. And if you hang around and have a bit of social intelligence, you learn the system, you learn the loopholes and find your way in; IF That’s what you want. Yet, it doesn’t change the fact that you get a feeling you’re watching animals being herded. However, there is a system in place and from a sociological perspective, there is a function for the place. (note: we are talking high end nightspots, not the type of place where a 1000 Euro-trash fill the place drugged out of their mind on ecstasy while listening to techno. Let’s maintain some class here.)

So let’s do a recap of the players and the venue:

• Nightclub – A place where a niche segment of society congregates

•  The promoter- Essentially a powerbroker who coordinates the meeting between the “Rich guy” and the “Hot chick.”

•  The Bouncer- The gatekeeper to keep out “the Average.”

•  The very hot chick- Sought after by men, she walks into the club. The affluent guy buys up to $5000 worth of “Bottle service” to have sex with her. The Average guy salivating outside will endure standing in the cold until his limbs are numb so that he could get in and rub shoulders with her.

•  The hot chick- Close to the Very hot chick, except one notch lower. Occasionally, she’ll have to spend 20 minutes in line. She is attractive, better than average, but not quite super hot

•  The Average girl- Hopeful to get in the club because she thinks being in there raises her social status. Her best chance of getting in: Latch on to a hot chick OR be friends with staff. Sometimes she gets in because the promoter wants to fill the club with a higher ratio of females.

• The Affluent guy- Has money, or social status. Also is willing to spend 1000s of dollars on any given night. He spends lots of money so he is well taken care of by the staff.

•  The connected guy- Looks like some mediocre drummer in a shitty band with no name or talent. This guy doesn’t really have money, and if he didn’t mooch off some girl, he’d be called homeless. However, this strung out veiny wannabe is friends with the bouncers and promoters, so he gets in.

•  The drug dealer- Supplies drugs to whoever wants it and can afford it. He does have regulars though. He is well known by the powerbroker/promoter so he can be directed to the right place. (Sometimes, this guy IS the main promoter.)

• Special Occasion guy: This guy and 5 of his buddies pitched in to get bottle service. It’s not something they can afford every weekend, but hey, a few times a year is worth it, they figure.

•  The Average guy- Spends inordinate amounts of time waiting outside in random formation (Since there is no line.) Sometimes, he gets in which is a great accomplishment for him. He can spend the entire following week telling his friends about it.

That’s the hotspot scene. . It is a shallow world of dog-eat-dog and it’s about status. It’s also about attitude. It’s also conceivable that at age 22, you may like to experience going to these places often and then there are those who never grow out of this stage.

It’s interesting to note that men’s looks have very little social currency. While a very attractive woman is highly coveted, a very good-looking man holds little social currency.

-Social Currency for a Woman: Her physical Appearance

-Social Currency for a Man: Social Proof, Power and Status in Society, Wealth, Drugs, and the bringing with other social currency (Hot Women.)

So let’s assume there is a prestigious party about to emerge and you want to go. If you’re an attractive woman, you’re in. If you’re average looking, tag along with an attractive friend. Yes, I know that in some cases you think she is a dumb attention whore and she gets annoying after about 25 minutes, but you tolerate her because she gets in.

If you’re a man (the not-affluent type), offer Money, Drugs, or go along with a bunch of hot chicks. And no, these are not women you’re interested in dating. Don’t be a silly bastard. You don’t take women you’re interested in to such environments.

Understand the value of your social currency. I am having visions of Alec Baldwin’s speech in Glengarry Glenross. “Hey, Nice Father?  I don’t give a shit!  You solved Cold-Fusion and solved the energy crisis of the planet, fuck you!!!  It’s Fuck or Walk! Either raise your social currency or don’t show up at the door step of my party pal!”

It may be sick, and it may be disgusting. I know. But if you understand the system, its parameters, and its dynamics then you can work it to your favor but knowing how to leverage your advantages.

Then again, maybe you don’t like getting mixed in that game, and there are a lot of people who don’t, then you’re going to have to rethink your strategies about how you conduct your social life. Unfortunately, a lot of the advice that is written regarding dating on the Internet by “Pick Up Artists” is for guys who want to operate in the confines and parameters of the night club world I just described above (And even then, they still don’t always understand it.)

On the other than, if you’re reading dating advice from the average “Guru,” keep in mind what world he is prescribing his advice for. He’ll claim that it’s all women and he may sincerely believe that, and that’s the exact reason his advice hasn’t worked for you.

Oh, perfect segue to promote my own product if you want to improve in attracting women:

http://www.attractwomenanywhere.com/audiocourse.shtml

A while back, a buddy of mine was visiting L.A and while I was showing him around, he turned to me and said, “It just seems like affluent rich neighborhood in any city also have the largest number of hot women.  Have you ever thought about that?”

Nope.  I never consciously thought about it.  Why?  Because I had already accepted it on a subconscious level.  It was so ingrained and basic that I had never even bothered thinking about it.  My mind simply associated an affluent neighborhood with hot women.

Because that’s the way it’s always been.  If I am in Los Angeles, I intuitively know that certain neighborhoods like Beverly Hills and certain Beach communities will have a plethora of physically attractive women living there.  Just as I intuitively expect a large number of less than stellar physical specimens in certain beat up and ragged neighborhoods.

This isn’t unique to me. I am willing to bet it’s ingrained in all of our brains.  The question is why does this occur?  L.A. may be considered a shallow place, but this phenomenon exists in every major city in America.  (Except for Newark perhaps, which is just one giant dump.) 

One explanation is that wealthy people live in affluent areas. It’s a simple linear model.  Wealthy people marry the more physically attractive women. Hence, this leads to  a physically better looking offspring, and the cycle repeats itself.  (Not to mention access to better health care and dentists who can ensure that beautiful pearly white smile.)   Many people correlate evolutionary psychology to such occurrences and that is partially responsible, but it is a social construct of our culture, and it is part of our social fabric at this point. 

On a secondary level, people by nature are drawn to the “Nicer things” in life. Hence, all men and women would like to live in a nice beach house with view of the Ocean and immaculate sunsets over the pacific.  So why do then the better looking women reside in these nicer neighborhoods?

This is where it gets tricky.  It comes down to what I call “Social Currency.”  Everyone is looking to trade in his/her social currency to get to upgrade the current status amongst the masses when it comes to access to coveted social spots… Often coveted places have that attachment because they’re perceived to be high status. 

Physically attractive women have a built in mechanism in place to trade as social currency.  It’s pretty simple really: It’s their physical beauty.  That gets them into parties, hot spots,  perceived prestigious night clubs,  and so forth.  (And this lasts until they’re about 30.)  Men on other hand can’t really trade in looks as social currency even if they’re handsome.  They rely on other things. 

So let’s assume there is a fantastic exclusive party in a mansion this coming weekend and it’s by invitation only.   

• Women will trade in their looks as social currency to get in.  “You’re a hot chick?  You’re in!”

• Men use affluence, wealth, women, and drugs as their social currency.  For a guy to enter the party, he has to either bring with him “Hot women,”  or drugs.  Either that, or he has to have some sort of affluence.

 Nowhere is this more exposed and self-evident than standing outside a hot nightclub.  In fact, it’s amazing to watch.  This is THE venue to watch social currency in action.  It’s where self-indulgence meets the shallowest human values possible.  Hence, it’s a perfect place to examine Social Currency in Action.

Stay tuned for the next blog entry to dissect the Night Club Scene under a microscope.

I’ve officially unveiled my “Building Attraction Secrets” audio course!

I also wanted to remind everyone that there is a 6-hour time limit on the first bonus,  (the free private phone consultation) so don’t miss out on that.   

To get your copy of the Audio-course, take a look here:

http://www.attractwomenanywhere.com/audiocourse.shtml

Will shortly resume normal blogging again…. 

More videos to come soon as well….

As you may know by now, I am releasing my much anticipated “Building Attraction Secrets” audio course tomorrow at Noon Eastern time. 

I wanted to give away real tangible bonuses that will help guys improve their abilities to attract women.  I was contemplating what’d be of the best value and then 3 days ago, I received an email from a gentleman who sounded a bit destitute.  He wrote:

 

“Cameron,

I am at a standstill…I have been studying game, taken a couple of bootcamps,ect and I have gotten NOWHERE…tonight was another fiasco……..I have been doing this for over two years and any success I have had with dating has been via online with match.com, ect…nothing in the field and I have tried tried tried….”

My heart goes out to the guy.  What he is going through sucks, obviously.  I am willing to bet there are a lot more guys out there who are frustrated by their lack of results.  (OK, I actually KNOW that because I get emails like this often.) Guys write me complaining about being more confused than before with so many “Gurus” out there. 

I am confident that my audio product will help such guys achieve success by finally giving them a better understanding of the attraction process, and by giving them real tools that they can implement to achieve more success.

Yet, I wanted to offer a bonus that would put guys on the fast track.  One that’d help them jump start the process in conjunction with the program.  So……..

For the first 10 guys who get a copy  the product, I am offering a free private 30-minute phone consultation with me. 

It will be discreet, private and as usual no holds barred.   During that time, you can ask me anything you want regarding Dating, “Pick up” and related maters.  We’ll talk about your sticking points and figure out how you can BREAK THROUGH Them.  We’ll design a step by step game plan for you to start actually achieving success. 

And as much as I like helping guys out, my time schedule does not allow me to do free audio consults all day long.  Hence, I am limiting this to 10 guys, and I am hoping that it’ll go to the ten guys who really feel they need the help them most. (Starting with the guy who wrote me that email.)

It’s first come, first serve.  Tomorrow, Noon Eastern time;  9 in the morning pacific time on the West Coast.  Actually, regardless of what part of the world you live in, I’ve made it simple. There is a countdown clock on the page. 

If you feel like you’re progress is halted and want a boost to get you going, I’d urge you to take advantage of this offer.

 For information on the countdown clock and the Audio Course, click here:

http://www.attractwomenanywhere.com/audiocourse.shtml

This is the last video posted on the blog.  There are a series of videos that are available to you completely free here:  

http://www.attractwomenanywhere.com/freeaudiodownload.shtml

(Not to mention a Free PDF File on Natural Conversational as well as a free 1 hour MP3 download!  Yes, it’s the Holiday Spirit!]

Watch the video, 

Discuss.

This is basically underground footage.  

• No High-Def camera,
• No fancy-schmancy lighting or sound,
• No pyrotechnics,

Just sitting in a living room answering questions straight up to a group of guys who are dedicated to become more successful in dating women and improving themselves.  If you know my style by now, you know that I don’t pull any punches.   I speak my mind on what I believe and I think the information will benefit you as well. 

Important Note before you watch: The language is GRAPHIC at times so if you’re easily offended by such language, you probably shouldn’t watch.  Then again, if you were that much of a pansy, you wouldn’t be reading my blog to begin with! 

Question: A student of “The Game” wants to know what type of women “Gurus” date and why.

This is a great question and if you’ve read my stuff before, you know that I am a huge advocate of understanding archetypes and demographics.  This is a topic that most “Gurus” would not want to touch with a 10 foot pole, but you guys read my material because you want the straight up truth, without any of the hype.  Here are some things covered:

• What type of women do gurus date?
• What type of women does Neil Strauss date?
• What type of women does “Mystery” Date?
• What is a “Demographic?”
• Where did “Negs” come from?
• How “Methods” are limiting you!!
• What is your type of woman?
• How can use this to garner more success in the field?

Understanding the concept of demographics can enable you to achieve the highest level of success.

This is PART 1 of the video.  [This is the first half.]   

Stay tuned to see part 2 on this blog.  If you want to see MORE of these clips, you can click here to get the links to all of the other videos (as well as a free bonus PDF and a free MP3 Download.)  

http://www.attractwomenanywhere.com/freeaudiodownload.shtml

Yes, the videos ARE ALL FREE.

Talk to a friend the other day, we used to pretty close.  Hadn’t spoken since to him since 1996.   The wonders of the Internet and modern day communications….  On a whim, I did a search on facebook and found his profile.  Got an excited reply back from him, and so we got on the phone.

Things have changed since we graduated college together.  He is married and has 3 kids, and as for me, well, I am giving dating advice on the Internet.  That was all irrelevant though. We started chatting and it was like old times again, laughing about the mischief we used to create at a university where we couldn’t stand most of the faculty in the department, (who probably couldn’t stand us either, I am pretty sure.)

Yeah, there was A LOT of, “Man, remember the we did this and we did that, and the timet where we we made a video about Professor L***** basically calling him an asshole?  It wasn’t so much the nostalgic reminiscing that was intriguing.  It was that we had the same fun crazy conversation we had back in college, making fun of things, goofing off, laughing and bullshitting around.

Halfway through our rather lengthy phone conversation, my old pal’s comment echoed my own thoughts.  He said, “Wow, this is weird.  This conversation is like not a day has passed by.  It’s like we picked up right where we left off.”

Touché.  12 years gone by.  Technologically, it seems like a century for a couple of guys who studied Television and Film production.  Back then, we edited ¾ inch video tapes on giant machines with huge knobs, and connected to the Internet through AOL which gave you 10 hours of internet access per month.  But then It took 12-16 hours just to download one single page on the 24k dial up modems.

However, rapport never dies.  When two people have a connection, regardless of gender, sex, ethnicity, color, creed, it lasts forever. 

So it got me thinking about the world of dating, the advice people read, and the tangled webs they become caught up in.  Most of the advice is written from a perspective of dehumanizing women and in order to make the process a tactical military operation.  What happens in the process is that guys get caught up in a world of tactical operations where they cannot connect with women. Why?  Because they cease to see them as human beings.  Read typical seduction community field-reports and they sound like this:

“I went out with HB 7.56, did a neg, a DHV, a DLV, and threw in some cocky funny to please double D.  Extracted target back to my place after telling her I had weed (which I didn’t, haha).  Told her a story about my childhood and how my mom and I went through some problems, (thanks to PUA asswipe for that Story.  It rocks)   Anyhow,  HB 7.56 went down on me and then I said I had to leave.  Oh, and here is a photograph of her.”

You don’t have to be Sherlock fucking Holmes to see the absurdity of that.  But then it’s not surprising when I have some 20 year old kid emailing me telling me that he has approached 3000 women and has less than 10 dates to show for it. 

Just statistically playing the law of averages at a supremely conservative 5%, he ought to have had a 150 dates (with different women) out of that.  I understand his frustration and I understand his dilemma.  Being even more frustrated, he turns to more tactics.  Perhaps he needs better tactics, maybe his DHVs are not up to par, or maybe he needs to do more back turns, more negs and learn to be more “Alpha.”

Yet, he fails to see the elephant in the living room: He is not connecting with them on ANY level.  He is conducting a dancing monkey performance, and he is not suave enough, or enough of a con-man to sell it.  (Yes, I emailed the kid back telling him about my opinion of his issues, and how he needs to start fixing it.)

But I know that he is not alone.  There are other guys out there going through the same thing.  They may not be batting at .1% (one tenth of one percent) in getting dates, they’re not doing too stellar either.   The first issue is that guys get sucked into gimmicks instead of developing themselves to become more well rounded individuals.  The second issue is that they don’t connect with people in general, MALE or FEMALE…  

This is by no means advocating that guys run out profess their love to some woman they’ve known for 30 minutes. That’s not what I am talking about.  It’s having the ability, and more importantly, the desire to go forward in establishing connections with people you like and respect.  (And on the same token, cutting off the leeches and douchebags that are undesirable persons.)

At the end of the day, gimmicks are forgotten,social proof can dissipate,money can be blown, but a human genuine connection is the only thing that lasts. Even if you haven’t talked to someone in 12 fucking years, and you pick up the phone to reconnect.