{"id":1020,"date":"2009-06-21T03:13:04","date_gmt":"2009-06-21T10:13:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/?p=1020"},"modified":"2011-01-03T18:09:05","modified_gmt":"2011-01-04T01:09:05","slug":"the-door-test-kid-thats-what-counts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/2009\/06\/21\/the-door-test-kid-thats-what-counts\/","title":{"rendered":"The Door Test Kid, That’s What Counts!"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Door Test – A Bronx Tale
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Sometimes, in the midst of infatuation with someone, we become lost in fantasy and lose perspective.\u00a0 It’s in these times that we forget the basics and choose to overlook the obvious staring right at us.\u00a0 Times like these, a little reminder from Sunny helps.\u00a0 But we’ll get back to that later.<\/p>\n

One of the basic fundamental revered traits is that of Contribution.\u00a0 It comes in various forms and any person worth having as a friend or more ought to have the desire to contribute.\u00a0 Sometimes, people tend to think of contribution in financial terms but that’s really a myopic scope of looking at things.<\/p>\n

It’s no different in dating.\u00a0 When you start dating someone, you can tell within the first date or two, if they have the type of personality\/character that is willing to contribute or not.\u00a0 It goes both ways, male and female.\u00a0 As guys, we tend to forget that sometimes; and it’s usually because the girl is physically attractive.\u00a0 I’ve been guilty of it in the past, and I think most guys I know, have too.\u00a0 Everyone goes through his fair share of mistakes.<\/p>\n

Some where, there is a divorced guy (or woman) looking at the door test scene and thinking to him\/herself, “Should have seen that shit coming.”\u00a0\u00a0 The mistake we make is that we think that, “It’ll get better.”\u00a0 It doesn’t.\u00a0 Selfishness only compounds over time, it does not improve.\u00a0 If someone is self-absorbed when they first meet you, it’s only going to become worse as they become more comfortable with you.\u00a0 It applies to relationships and friendships alike.<\/p>\n

Which brings me to the movie, “A Bronx Tale.<\/span>”\u00a0 It’s\u00a0one of those\u00a0fantastic movies\u00a0that if you have not seen yet, you really should make it a point to do so.\u00a0 It’d be actually difficult to watch this entire film and NOT like it.\u00a0 Upon researching it more, I learned that it’s based on Chazz Palminteri’s personal childhood and reflects his times growing up in the Bronx.<\/p>\n

The Kid in the movie essentially has two fathers: His Biological father whom he lives with and his adopted father whom he is infatuated with.\u00a0 His real father, played by Robert De Niro, is a city\u00a0bus driver.\u00a0 His adopted father, whom he looks up to, is a local Mafia boss, Sonny,\u00a0played by Chazz Palminteri.<\/p>\n

In this scene, the kid in the vehicle has a crush on a “Colored girl.”\u00a0 White\u00a0guy dating a black girl in the 1950s Bronx was apparently not too acceptable and the kid turns to “Sonny” for advice.\u00a0 The Wiseguy teaches him the door test.<\/p>\n

<\/embed><\/object><\/p>\n

(The relevant part starts at 1:21 into the clip.\u00a0 If you watch the real movie, there is no irrelevant crappy music playing in this scene.)<\/p>\n

Obviously\u00a0 with the advent of automatic door locks, the door test has been rendered obsolete.\u00a0 Nevertheless, the principle remains the same!\u00a0 Moving beyond the scope of just meeting people, we have to look at dating (as well as friendship) from a balanced perspective:\u00a0 Is that person willing to contribute in whatever way she can\/he?<\/p>\n

Do not take this literally.\u00a0 Hey, you may have a 65 Mustang that has the old-school door locks.\u00a0 You may open the door for her and she doesn’t reach over.\u00a0 It does not mean she is damaged goods.<\/p>\n

People who want to contribute are easy to spot. They have that air aobut them, and you can generally feel the vibe pretty quickly.\u00a0 As I wrote, it does not have to be financial . Let’s say you’re a guy who makes over a 100,000 dollars a year and you date a girl fresh out of college who makes 30K per year.\u00a0 During the course of your dating, you may take her to a nice restaurant but she may not be able to do the same for you.\u00a0 It’s understandable given the economic disparity.\u00a0 That wouldn’t stop her from doing something else, cooking for ya, treating you to coffee and ice cream, whatver….<\/p>\n

Heck, it could be something completely non-financial.\u00a0 It could just be something thoughtful.\u00a0 There are lots of little things someone can do to show they are willing to contribute to the relationship.\u00a0 Here is an example: I remember several years back, I was dating the girl from the Midwest.\u00a0 We had had conversations about our favorite foods, desserts and such, so naturally I mentioned to her about how much I love Gelato.<\/p>\n

A week later, while having a conversation on the phone, she tells me, “I was just thinking about you.\u00a0 I was reading an article in a magazine about the best Gelato places in Los Angeles, and it reminded me of you.\u00a0 I saved the article.\u00a0 I’ll give it to you next time….”<\/em><\/p>\n

That’s sweet, you have to admit.\u00a0 It’s thoughtful<\/span>.\u00a0 It’s considerate and it didn’t cost a damn penny.\u00a0 That stuff used to shock me.\u00a0 You have to understand, I’ve been in L.A since high school\u00a0 My dating life has been in L.A and the aforementioned actions are not things you’re\u00a0accustomed to seeing as the norm.<\/p>\n

“Wow, Such women exist??\u00a0 They clip out articles and offer you a ride to the airport, and offer to pick you up upon returning?\u00a0\u00a0 Where do they build them?”<\/em> is one’s immediate reaction.<\/p>\n

Of course, then you talk to your friends in the Midwest or European friends and they have a laugh at your expense.\u00a0 “Dude, THAT is how normal girls act.\u00a0 You’re just in L.A!”\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 So then, you learn something interesting.\u00a0 You start thinking, “Well, I want more of these ones!”\u00a0\u00a0You learn that you’ve been settling when it comes to having a standard for character.<\/p>\n

This is where a lot of guys become bitter and angry.\u00a0 They start going into a tirade about how\u00a0 “women are bitches” and they just want to use you for your money.\u00a0 Truth of the matter is, some women are that way, just as are some men.\u00a0 (And really, when\u00a0I’ve bee ripped off financially in the past, it’s usually been by men.)<\/p>\n

In some ways, you have to learn to be able to press delete.\u00a0\u00a0 I think that’s one of the growing processes.\u00a0 When you meet incredible people, you start thinking naturally, “Well, I much prefer to be around these people than the other ones<\/em>.”\u00a0 You start thinking that when such great women exist, why waste your time dating ones that are just a pain in the ass. You come across someone who is obviously self-absorbed, you learn to say “OK,” and just walk away.\u00a0 Sometimes, even responding to them is a waste of time.<\/p>\n

You start realizing that the time you’re wasting with someone you don’t really like, is the time you could have been<\/strong> spending with someone that you do like.\u00a0 When you meet great women, you become more in tuned with your own personal boundaries and standards.\u00a0 “Why would I expect anything less now<\/em>?” becomes the new standard.<\/p>\n

That’s been my experience anyway.\u00a0\u00a0 That brings us back to Sonny, and the Door test.\u00a0 Make it a date night!\u00a0 Invite a girl over and watch this film with her.\u00a0 It’s a great story.\u00a0 Get some popcorn and enjoy……<\/p>\n

The Door Test Kid, that’s what Counts.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

—————————<\/em><\/p>\n

Building Attraction Secrets,<\/a> The\u00a0Ebook that will change your dating life.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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