{"id":1134,"date":"2009-07-20T02:27:47","date_gmt":"2009-07-20T09:27:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/?p=1134"},"modified":"2010-05-30T15:02:26","modified_gmt":"2010-05-30T22:02:26","slug":"gasoline-and-hipsters","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/2009\/07\/20\/gasoline-and-hipsters\/","title":{"rendered":"Gasoline and Hipsters – A Feel-Good Story"},"content":{"rendered":"

February 2009 –<\/p>\n

\u00a0So Sinn [Jon] is in town visiting for a week.\u00a0 It’s Sunday, and we finally have a day to relax.\u00a0 Swinggcat [Josh] suggests we get together.\u00a0 Sinn and Swinggcat haven’t really ever had a chance to meet.\u00a0 They haven’t really had the opportunity to\u00a0 “Quality Time” together cso we figured it’d be good to meet somewhere, and have a few beers. Swinggcat’s buddy has a place in mind that may be somewhat happening on a Sunday night.<\/p>\n

\u00a0We got the plan down: We are to arrive at this place in Hollywood enjoy some ice cold brews, have some conversation, bullshit around and hey, socialize with the locals a bit too.\u00a0 Upon entering the joint, it immediately becomes apparent that this particular joint is the habitat for malfunctioning members of society, the highest order of douchebaggery possible: The one and only group that is known as Hipsters!<\/p>\n

\u00a0The night starts out fun with us chatting about different things, joking around, and discussing the whacky community for a bit too.\u00a0 A bit later, the crowd starts pouring in, the music gets louder, the noise level becomes too much to carry a normal conversation.<\/p>\n

\u00a0As I walk around, I quickly start to realize that I am dealing with one of the cesspools of society, this Hipster crowd.\u00a0 New York City sewer rats wouldn’t be caught in this place.\u00a0 They’d find it’s beneath them.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Hipsters are a weird breed of people.\u00a0 The Frat-boy party-forever crowd of the South Bay is just as shallow, if not more.\u00a0 Only difference is that they don’t pretend to be any better than what they are.\u00a0 They know their priorities: Cocktails and Parties<\/span>, drugs and pussy<\/span>.<\/p>\n

\u00a0They make no bones about it and there is no effort to mask what they are.\u00a0 They are what they are.\u00a0 They’re shallow and superficial, but they don’t use that as a crutch to feel superior to others.\u00a0 Plus, you can still have fun with the “Frat boy” crowd.\u00a0 (or at least I can.) You can drink with them, tell dirty jokes, hear their stories about some girl they banged while being wasted last weekend in Vegas, and discuss other irrelevant crap.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Hipsters are different.\u00a0 As a group, they have that “Holier than thou” attitude, except that they have nothing to be proud of.\u00a0 Their only accomplishment in life is choosing to a listen to an alternative band that no one else has heard of, with the record they bought from their allowance from their parents.\u00a0 Whether they actually like the music is really irrelevant. What’s important is that\u00a0few others\u00a0like that band.<\/p>\n

\u00a0If you live in a different country, you may be unfamiliar with these creatures.\u00a0 Take the “Goth” crowd and take it one step further.\u00a0 Imagine a group of people dressed in weird outfits because they want to be different than the rest of society, and yet they go to a social venues to be with 500 other people with the exact same limited mindset.\u00a0 They don’t really work, or do much else.\u00a0 They think they’re artistic and the proof of that is that they listen to musical groups no one has ever heard of.\u00a0 However, because they listen to musical groups that no one has really heard of, they are better than you.\u00a0 That’s the Hipster mindset.\u00a0 Surly, arrogant, underachievers.\u00a0\u00a0 Hope that paints a picture of Hipster for ya.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0As I walk around the club, I start to wonder if Hipsters are the most pretentious, phony, useless wannabes the planet has ever seen.\u00a0 They contribute nothing to society.\u00a0 At least, the frat boys keep the alcohol industry on its feet by over consumption of distilled Spirits.\u00a0 Hipsters do nothing.\u00a0 Some of them are under the illusion that they are artists but then they don’t produce any art.\u00a0 They’re just really good at putting down anything that appeals to a mass audience.<\/p>\n

\u00a0They do nothing.\u00a0 Yet, when you walk up to one to say hello, you become quickly annoyed by their high level of obnoxiousness.\u00a0 They’re like the asshole waiter from Office Space<\/em> who wore 37 pieces of Flare.\u00a0 That guy would be a hipster.\u00a0 No wait, he couldn’t be a hipster.\u00a0 He had a job!!<\/p>\n

\u00a0I am disgusted by the venue, but\u00a0in reality, more disgusted with myself for being in such a place. \u00a0It’d be good to chat with the guys, but they’re getting wasted on Alcohol.\u00a0 I am sober. Stallone is once again yelling at me inside my head with his famous, “You’re better than that” speech.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0Sinn has taken the honorable route of getting really wasted.\u00a0 I can’t blame the guy.\u00a0 Being drunk may be the only thing that makes this place tolerable.\u00a0\u00a0 He is working his way up to having 6 shots of Patron tequllia, part of his journey that night on the way to consuming about 14 cocktails.\u00a0 The man’s ability to handle his alcohol without getting sick and throwing up is legendary.<\/p>\n

\u00a0I am the sober guy.\u00a0 Swinggcat has started having a few cocktails too.\u00a0 He likes having a smoke after hitting a few cocktails.\u00a0 He approaches two hipsters to chat with them, and he makes a joke to appease the hipsters.\u00a0 Momentarily, the Hipsters appear pleased.\u00a0 Then he bums a cigarette off of them.\u00a0 The two hipsters have the body language of robots, very stiff, and mechanical.\u00a0 I have no desire to talk the guys or the women of this place, and yet I can’t quite leave yet.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0I realize that if I am not going to talk to any of these pretentious, surly misfits , then I might as well make the best of it.\u00a0 I might as well\u00a0entertain<\/strong> myself<\/strong> somehow!\u00a0\u00a0 I have my camera on me!\u00a0 I should document the Hipsters, and so I start taking photos of them.\u00a0 I am feeling Philanthropic.\u00a0 I realize that if I Blog about these scumbags, then their existence may serve a purpose. It will have been fodder for entertainment.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0I take some general shots of the crowd.\u00a0 Then, I spot Two Hipsters standing on the side, doing what hipsters are good at doing: absolutely nothing.\u00a0 The two friends are so mismatched in their outfits that it looks like they met on match.com from hell.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Photo of first Hipster is here:<\/p>\n

\"\"
First Hipster<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0As you can see, his outfit has a quaint feel of “Pee-Wee Herman in Neverland Ranch” feel to it. Sporting a 70s feel, he comes across as a pedophile who hasn’t quiet decided as to whom his next victim shall be.\u00a0 He is studying them carefully.\u00a0 He is just glad this is not the age of the Internet where people could look him up.<\/p>\n

The 2nd<\/sup> jerkoff is elusive. I am trying to take a photo but there are people in the way.\u00a0<\/p>\n

-First picture, no good.\u00a0 His back is turned to me!
\n\u00a0\u00a0.
\n-2nd<\/sup>\u00a0 photo attempts. Nope. His face is blocked and by now, he can see I am taking photos of him.\u00a0\u00a0 By my\u00a0third\u00a0photo attempt, he probably thinks I am some creepy stalker.\u00a0 He may think I am gay, or some sort of a maniac.\u00a0 I don’t care.\u00a0 I am relentless.\u00a0 I want my Blog photo!\u00a0 My Blog audience deserves that much.\u00a0 The world deserves to see the hipster in all its glory.\u00a0 This isn’t just for my blog anymore.\u00a0 This photo has taken on a greater cause of global importance!<\/em>\u00a0
\n\u00a0\u00a0 .
\n-3rd<\/sup> attempt.\u00a0 I see the Hipster.\u00a0 He sees me for a split second and looks away.\u00a0 It’s like an old Mexican standoff.\u00a0 I point my camera, turn up the ISO as it’s dark in the alley, clear\u00a0shot, FIRE!\u00a0 Full blast<\/strong>, flash, photo, YES!! I capture the hipster for the world.\u00a0 Here he is below:
\n\u00a0 .
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"\"
Bruno-vomit Hipster<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u00a0.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0I can’t begin to explain what he was thinking.\u00a0 Looking like something Sasha Baron Cohen character Bruno threw up, he holds on to his hipster standards.\u00a0 Long stockings- that even Santa Clause wouldn’t wear-up to his knee,\u00a0 Addidas exercise shorts in case a Soccer game broke out,\u00a0 not to mention a scarf wrapped around his neck just in case he ended up in Chicago by accident instead of Southern Cal.\u00a0 And the beauty is that nothing matches.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0You’d have to use a super computer to generate random patterns for hours to come up with something this poorly conceived.<\/p>\n

\u00a0In retrospect, I kinda feel bad for this particular\u00a0guy.\u00a0 He is a victim of the Hipster scene. Somehow he was bullshitted into thinking that dressing this way would somehow make up for having been the awkward kid in school.\u00a0\u00a0 Nevertheless, this pretentious subcategory of scumbags has to be exposed.\u00a0 The frat-party boys are scumbags are in their own right but we slay one beast at a time here.<\/p>\n

\u00a0I start thinking of designing a T-shirt to wear at Hipster events, should I ever come back to such a scene again.\u00a0 Jon seems to be more familiar with the nuances of these idiots more so than I.\u00a0 I run the ideas by him while he is still coherent.\u00a0 The following important conversation takes places between us regarding my T-Shirt Idea that leads to\u00a0the genesis of\u00a0a very important slogan\u00a0:<\/p>\n

Me
\nMan, these fucking hipsters are sooo annoying.<\/p>\n

Sinn
\nYep, they’re douchebags.<\/p>\n

Me
\nIs there a bigger group of douchebag than hipsters?\u00a0<\/p>\n

Sinn
\nCan’t think of one.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Me
\nYou know what’d be awesome?\u00a0 To walk back into those bars wearing an anti-hipster shirt.\u00a0 That’d be entertaining to see their reactions.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Sinn
\nThat’d be fun.\u00a0 But they would not react.\u00a0 That’s part of their surly attitude.<\/p>\n

Me
\nBut it has to be something offensive to Hipsters.\u00a0 Something like, “I hate hipsters”<\/p>\n

Sinn
\nThey’d just ignore that.\u00a0 They wouldn’t care.\u00a0 They already know they’re scumbags.<\/p>\n

Me
\nHmm, how about something like, “Hipsters = The ultimate douchebags.”\u00a0<\/p>\n

Sinn
\nNope, that wouldn’t work.\u00a0 They’d think it’s ironic.\u00a0 They’d enjoy the attention.\u00a0 You have to understand their culture and the hipster mindset.\u00a0 A shirt like that is just giving them attention and they’d enjoy that.\u00a0 Right now, you still haven’t gotten the hipster mindset.<\/p>\n

Me
\nDamn it!\u00a0 Trying to piss off Hipsters is harder than originally thought.
\nWell, this isn’t as easy as I thought. How about something like, “I break indie records in the name of hipsters??”<\/p>\n

\u00a0Sinn
\nWouldn’t work!\u00a0<\/p>\n

Me
\nWhy??<\/p>\n

Sinn
\nYou gotta understand the hipster mindset.\u00a0 They like to act surly and arrogant and pretend they’re better than everyone.\u00a0 A shirt like that would just give them a reason to act more surly and arrogant.\u00a0 It just gives them more of an excuse to be a douchebag.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

[I take a few moments to think, considering the hipster culture, mindset and disposition.\u00a0 This is not easy.]<\/p>\n

Me
\nHmm……….\u00a0 I got it! I got it!! The perfect T-Shirt!<\/p>\n

Sinn
\nWhat?<\/p>\n

Me
\nReady for it?\u00a0 I Enjoy Pouring Gasoline on Hipsters!<\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Sinn
\nFuck, I think you got it!\u00a0 That’d work!\u00a0 That’s actually pretty good.<\/p>\n

Me
\nWell, they can’t ignore that!<\/p>\n

Sinn
\nNope they can’t! \u00a0 \u00a0They could pretend it doesn’t bother them, but it would. It’s just so violent and graphic.\u00a0 They’d be horrified, and they couldn’t do anything about it, because they’re such pussies.<\/p>\n

Me
\nThat’s the beauty of it.\u00a0 It’s horrific and violent.\u00a0 It’s so vile, and disturbing.\u00a0\u00a0 Very Joe Pesci-esque.\u00a0 It’s not ironic and it cannot be ignored, and yet they can’t do anything about it.\u00a0 You in on this?<\/p>\n

Sinn
\nIt’s awesome.\u00a0 They’d see it, and pretend it doesn’t bother them, but it’d get on their nerves, and being the biggest pussies in the world, they’d just do nothing about it. I’d wear one too.<\/p>\n

Me
\nIf you went to an Italian club, and wore a shirt that said I pour gas on Italians, for example, you’re probably not walking out in one piece.\u00a0\u00a0 Hipsters, for all their arrogance would just watch in horror. That’s what makes this great.<\/p>\n

Sinn
\nIf you make them, I’d wear one too.\u00a0 We should do it.\u00a0<\/p>\n

And that conversation was the genesis of my new T-Shirt idea!\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0“I enjoy Pouring Gasoline On Hipsters<\/strong>!”<\/span><\/em> \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0
\nIt’s perfect for cities like LA, NY, and specially San Francisco.\u00a0 All three have large populations of arrogant, surly, rude, hipsters who do nothing in their lives except brag to each other about what no-name band they listen to. \u00a0I think this T-shirt would work well with a graphic.\u00a0 If you’re a graphic artist, we could use your skills in producing an image, something like a hipster running at full speed towards a window while being set ablaze……. (And don’t worry, it’s a joke. We are not REALLY pouring gasoline on Hipsters.)<\/p>\n

All in all, it wasn’t that bad.\u00a0 I was able to entertain myself in a place I did not want to be in, and even got a great idea for a T-shirt.\u00a0 Potentially huge money maker…\u00a0 Just goes to show: You never know where a great business idea may come from, and hipsters can be inspirational.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

February 2009 – \u00a0So Sinn [Jon] is in town visiting for a week.\u00a0 It’s Sunday, and we finally have a day to relax.\u00a0 Swinggcat [Josh] suggests we get together.\u00a0 Sinn…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1134","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stories"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1134","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1134"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1134\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2142,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1134\/revisions\/2142"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1134"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1134"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1134"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}