{"id":1398,"date":"2009-12-06T15:25:49","date_gmt":"2009-12-06T22:25:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/?p=1398"},"modified":"2012-07-04T14:31:38","modified_gmt":"2012-07-04T21:31:38","slug":"dating-attraction-tips-for-the-socially-fit-man-part-2-do-nice-guys-have-to-finish-last","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/2009\/12\/06\/dating-attraction-tips-for-the-socially-fit-man-part-2-do-nice-guys-have-to-finish-last\/","title":{"rendered":"Dating &#038; Attraction Tips for the Socially Fit Man. (Part 2)  Do Nice Guys Have To Finish Last?"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/h2>\n<h1 style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"> Why Do Some Nice Guys Finish Last in Dating?<\/span><\/h1>\n<p>.<\/p>\n<p>.<\/p>\n<p>There is an old saying in the English language, &#8220;<em>Nice guys finish last.&#8221;<\/em><br \/>\nIs it true?\u00a0 Well, sometimes&#8230;<br \/>\nDoes it have to be that way?\u00a0 Not at all.<\/p>\n<p>You want answers? I got them for ya!<\/p>\n<p>If you&#8217;re a man who is socially fit who is the proverbial &#8220;Nice Guy&#8221; then this is one of the most important articles you may\u00a0ever read.\u00a0 I am going to divulge what steps you need to take to overcome your hindrances without complicated routines, dressing like a freak, or complex algorithms.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0If we strip away the complexities, what we are left with is basic &amp; simple elements that we can apply successfully.<\/p>\n<p>In Part 1 of this series, <a href=\"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/2009\/11\/30\/dating-attraction-tips-for-the-socially-fit-man-part-1\/\" target=\"_blank\">Dating Tips for Socially Fit Men<\/a>, I discussed the three important elements of Emotionally Charging your Conversations, Being Spontaneous, and Having more Fun!\u00a0 These are traits that&#8217;ll enable you to emotionally attract women more to you.<\/p>\n<p>Let&#8217;s continue with part 2 now:<\/p>\n<p>Ever heard the expression, &#8220;Nice Guys Finish Last?&#8221;\u00a0\u00a0 If you&#8217;re reading this article and you fit the demographic of Nice Successful guys, I KNOW beyond any doubt that you identify with that expression.\u00a0 In fact, it made you cringe just as you read it a mere 10 seconds ago.<\/p>\n<p>I am going to help you overcome that seemingly weird conundrum and you don&#8217;t have to become a jackass or a total prick either.\u00a0 You don&#8217;t have to read countless books on evolutionary psychology and engage in mental masturbation.\u00a0 Simplicity and application are\u00a0key here. \u00a0There are certain repeated mistakes &#8220;Nice Guys&#8221; make that force women to lose attraction for them.\u00a0 In part 1, I discussed three elements and in part two, I am going to continue building on that.<\/p>\n<p>Let&#8217;s continue with more elements that can benefit you in creating a permanent change in your ability to attract women.\u00a0 Keep in mind that you don&#8217;t have to go all out on ALL of these elements being discussed.\u00a0 Spontaneity is great but if you just can&#8217;t muster too much of it, you can get by without it.\u00a0 However, there are some &#8220;Attributes&#8221; that you cannot do without.\u00a0 The next one I am about to share is one of these.\u00a0 Sorry fellas, but you don&#8217;t get a pass on this one.<\/p>\n<p>The following\u00a0is a &#8220;Must-Have&#8221; attribute and it is:<\/p>\n<p>.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><em><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">LEADING<\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>When it comes to your interactions, you do not lead.\u00a0 It&#8217;s not that being nice is a detriment.\u00a0 It&#8217;s that lack of leadership is an emasculating quality.\u00a0 You don&#8217;t have to transform yourself to a John F. Kennedy or a George Washington, but you do have to lead more.<\/p>\n<p>There are three types of leading:<\/p>\n<ol type=\"1\">\n<li><strong>Physical\/decision making<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>Emotional<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>Conversational<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>If you have my Audio-course or Ebook, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.attractwomenanywhere.com\/ebook.shtml\" target=\"_blank\">Building Attraction<\/a>, you&#8217;re probably already familiar with all of these as I go into detail for each one, and how each one works.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #3366ff;\">For the time being, <em>you have to stop being wishy-washy. It&#8217;s one of the most unattractive qualities a man can possess<\/em>.<\/span> It doesn&#8217;t mean you have to be overbearing or domineering.\u00a0 It just means you have to be able to make up your mind or make a decision.\u00a0 I normally give my restaurant example.\u00a0 If you asked her, &#8220;Where would you like to eat?&#8221; and she can&#8217;t think of anything, it&#8217;s up to you to pick one and follow through.<\/p>\n<p>Going back and forth because you&#8217;re both indecisive is only going to make her lose respect for you subconsciously.\u00a0 It doesn&#8217;t work both ways.\u00a0 A woman is allowed to be wishy-washy, and a man is not going to lose attraction towards her.\u00a0 The reverse of that, as you&#8217;ve just learned, has dire consequences.<\/p>\n<p>Obviously, the best way to do this is to take charge: &#8220;<em>Hey, I know a great Sushi place!\u00a0 You&#8217;ll love it!<\/em>&#8221;\u00a0 Yes, it&#8217;s really that simple.\u00a0 <em>&#8220;You&#8217;re allergic to fish?\u00a0 OK, I know a really cool quaint Mediterranean restaurant that&#8217;s a lot of fun<\/em>.&#8221; Or &#8220;<em>What? You&#8217;re vegan!\u00a0 Go date somebody else.&#8221; <\/em><\/p>\n<p>So why do some guys finish last?\u00a0 It&#8217;s because they can&#8217;t make decisions, at least around women.\u00a0 You may be one such guy.\u00a0If you can&#8217;t decide where you want to go, what you want to do, what you enjoy, or where you stand on certain issues, you&#8217;re going to lose appeal in her eyes quickly.\u00a0 Read the paragraph above again!\u00a0 I&#8217;m willing to bet you&#8217;re often wishy-washy.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;But I enjoy being a nice guy,&#8221; you may say to me.<\/p>\n<p>Fine.\u00a0 Somewhere you got the idea in your head that deferring decision making to your date is what a nice guy is being about.\u00a0 Want to be a gentleman? Good.\u00a0 Engage in Chivalry and be courteous.\u00a0 Open doors and pull out a chair for a lady, and\u00a0if she is cold, offer her your\u00a0jacket.\u00a0 Take care of your woman, but don&#8217;t sit there not knowing what the fuck to do.\u00a0 Don&#8217;t stand around not knowing what you like and where you want to go.<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s the difference between winning and losing.<\/p>\n<p>&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-<\/p>\n<p>.<\/p>\n<p>Next Trait:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><strong>Looking at Women as Sexual Beings,<\/strong> <\/span><\/li>\n<li><strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Creating a Sexual Vibe<\/span><\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>This is something that plagues &#8220;Nice Guys&#8221; sometimes.\u00a0 It may or may not apply to you, but I&#8217;ve seen it affect too many guys.\u00a0 This is a key ingredient that your mainstream articles in Maxim magazine and Dear-Abbey advice fail to tell you.<\/p>\n<p>Many &#8220;Nice Guys&#8221; have problems associating sexuality with girls they like.\u00a0 As if it somehow taints those women.\u00a0 This is especially applicable to guys who grew up in super religious environments where the clutches of organized religion was forced on them at a young age.<\/p>\n<p>Hence, it&#8217;s become difficult to look at women you like and respect in a sexual way.\u00a0 All women have a sexual side to them.\u00a0 It does not mean they sleep around or jump in bed with every idiot that comes along.\u00a0 It just means that when you&#8217;re dating them, you have to be able to appreciate that.<\/p>\n<p>This one is an <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">internal shift<\/span> meaning that &#8220;Dating Tactics&#8221; and &#8220;Pick Up Techniques&#8221; do will not help you.\u00a0 <strong>You have to create a change in your beliefs&#8230;.<\/strong> Beliefs about women, beliefs about sexuality and beliefs about yourself.<\/p>\n<p>This is where the typical dating coach cannot help you all that much.\u00a0 You have to dig deep and discover the cause of the genesis of your beliefs and how you&#8217;re going to create new ones.\u00a0 \u00a0While all of that can&#8217;t take place from a blog post, what I can do is start a chain sequence of events that&#8217;ll jump star the process of enabling you to manifest that change in your beliefs and ideas.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ll share this story:\u00a0\u00a0 I remember coaching a guy during a workshop who had this very issue that I&#8217;ve discussing.\u00a0 A hesitant trigger finger, is what I&#8217;d call it.\u00a0 He&#8217;d date a girl for a while, and wouldn&#8217;t take things to a sexual direction.\u00a0 He&#8217;d think to himself, &#8220;<em>This is a nice girl.\u00a0 I could see myself being with her long term.\u00a0 She&#8217;d be a great girlfriend<\/em>.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>All accurate statements.<\/p>\n<p>Nice girl, girlfriend potential, and a nice person to have in your life over all.\u00a0 That still doesn&#8217;t change that she is a human being and has a sexual side.\u00a0 Unless your entire agenda is to invest time and effort to sleep with her one time and then never see her again, then you need to forget the thoughts of &#8220;Taking Advantage of her.&#8221;\u00a0 It can&#8217;t be taking advantage when two people have mutual respect and attraction for each other.<\/p>\n<p>Somewhere along the line, you developed a negative belief towards women being sexual.\u00a0 Guess what pal?\u00a0 That nice girl you want as a girlfriend or a wife also has breasts, legs, butt that she wants you to appreciate.\u00a0 Furthermore, she also enjoys a mind-numbing toe-curling screaming orgasm just as much any woman on the planet.\u00a0 She is a sexual being as well.\u00a0 Appreciate her feminine sexuality.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8211;<\/p>\n<p>And remember the most valuable lesson to take away from this particular point:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li> <strong>Creating a sexual vibe which then creates sexual tension. <\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Don&#8217;t misconstrue this as having to quickly have sex with her. This is not about sexual intercourse.\u00a0\u00a0 Again: Sexual vibe &amp; Sexual tension.\u00a0\u00a0 Also, it portrays you as a sexual being and it induces sexual confidence within her.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 You may sleep with her within a week of knowing her or 10 weeks\u00a0 (Depending on your environment &amp; culture and surroundings.)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Sleeping with her is not the point.\u00a0 Creating that sexual atmosphere is what we&#8217;re looking for.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Nice girls aren&#8217;t sexual&#8221; is a big misnomer.\u00a0 It&#8217;s a misconception that you must get out of your head.\u00a0\u00a0The reverse of holds true as well.\u00a0 Sexual appeal goes both way.<\/p>\n<p>Ever see the <em>&#8220;Sponge Worthy<\/em>&#8221; episode on Seinfeld\u00a0 (the TV show)?\u00a0 If you haven&#8217;t, you should take a look at that classic episode.\u00a0 Here is what happens in a nutshell:\u00a0 Jerry is has started dating an attractive blonde whom he deems as just &#8220;Too Nice.&#8221;\u00a0 He can&#8217;t see her in a sexual light and can&#8217;t feel that magnetic spark.\u00a0 He decided to break up with her, prepared a break-up speech and is about to do so until&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;\u00a0 He opens her closet door and sees the entire closet filled with birth-control sponges.\u00a0\u00a0 (Reason being that sponges have gone off the market and she has stocked herself for decades to come.)<\/p>\n<p>Jerry quickly changes his mind on the break-up. Why?\u00a0 Because he now sees her as a sexual beast.\u00a0 A sexual dynamo that will proverbially shake him all night long.\u00a0 It&#8217;s a great episode.\u00a0 Watch it.<\/p>\n<p>The point however being:\u00a0 <em>Even an attractive woman could make herself unattractive by not coming across as sexual.\u00a0 And if an attractive blonde woman could do that, imagine how much worse it is for a man.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>So here is the sequence of the destructive pattern &#8220;Nice Guys&#8221; fall into:\u00a0 When you don&#8217;t see a woman as a sexual being, then you treat her as though she was a male buddy more than anything else.\u00a0 This lack of sexual chemistry is unattractive and your date much like Jerry Seinfeld in that episode has trouble SEEING YOU IN A SEXUAL LIGHT.\u00a0 Does this make sense?\u00a0 A woman has to subconsciously know that you can carry that\u00a0aura of masculinity into the intimate moments and (life in general) as well.<\/p>\n<p>For those of you who are analytical, it&#8217;s a very simple linear process.<\/p>\n<ol type=\"A\">\n<li>You don&#8217;t see or imagine her in a sexual light.<\/li>\n<li>Thus, you don&#8217;t act sexual around her and neither create sexual chemistry\/vibe.<\/li>\n<li>Therefore, she also does not see you in a sexual light.<\/li>\n<li>No sexual chemistry\/tension =\u00a0 Nice guy who is a friend, even if she started out liking you romantically.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>So it&#8217;s rudimentary really.\u00a0 Broken down to its most basic component, the dynamic now can be viewed with far more clarity.\u00a0 (And you don&#8217;t need to waste your time reading 25 books on evolutionary psychology.)<\/p>\n<p>(Disclaimers that I feel are important:\u00a0 I am not advocating that you inappropriately grope women, molest them, or make rude remarks.\u00a0 I am not saying treat your date as though she was trash.\u00a0 I am also not advocating making crass sexual jokes you&#8217;d make with your male buddies.)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I wish I didn&#8217;t have to mention these but I they absolutely necessary for some guys.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s that you ought to create some sexual tension and express a bit of your sexuality. The more rapport you have with a woman, the more you can do this.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ll provide an example from personal experience and perhaps that will with crystallization of this idea concept. :<\/p>\n<p>Let&#8217;s say I am on 2<sup>nd<\/sup> date with a girl, and the two of us are getting along pretty well.\u00a0 We are having <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">fun<\/span> hanging out, chatting, flirting and so forth.\u00a0 We are walking around as we approach an escalator.\u00a0 Upon walking to the edge of the escalator, I pause and motion for her to go first.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>-Me: You first, madam.<br \/>\n-She: Wow, you&#8217;re such a gentleman.<br \/>\n-Me: Of course, but what you don&#8217;t realize is my ulterior motive,<br \/>\nto be behind you so I could glance at your cute<br \/>\nround butt in those jeans&#8230;.<br \/>\n-She: Hey, I had to work hard to get that butt!\u00a0 It wasn&#8217;t easy.<br \/>\n-Me: I know&#8230;And that&#8217;s why I am being a gentleman &#8230;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>So, there is an example of showing a glimpse of sexuality and then moving on.\u00a0 That&#8217;s a real life example by the way.<\/p>\n<p>So we had some innocent fun flirting.\u00a0 It helps build sexual tension and creates a sexual vibe.\u00a0 On that note, I should mention that I am very hesitant to mention such examples because I know a lot of guys will use it without tact.\u00a0 However, when used properly, it creates a sexual vibe between you, and as mentioned earlier, it&#8217;s natural.\u00a0 You&#8217;re a man, she is a woman!\u00a0 You appreciate her feminine sexuality, and she appreciates a man who knows what he likes.<\/p>\n<p>(Such comments are not to be made with women you barely know.\u00a0 They&#8217;re not meant to be used with co-workers, (In the U.S, that&#8217;ll get you fired from a corporate job) and they&#8217;re definitely not to be used with your friend&#8217;s girlfriend or date.\u00a0 Your reaction of &#8220;Well, Duh&#8221; would be well justified until you meet some of the people within the Seduction Community.)<\/p>\n<p>So creating a sexual vibe could be accomplished with simple acts such as the aforementioned escalator incident . Depending on the level of rapport between you two, you can up the ante a bit, or pull back.\u00a0 An often mistake some men make is that they think blatant macho remarks about sex create that tension. \u00a0Clich\u00e9&#8217; construction-worker remarks and observations, \u00a0<em>&#8220;Whoa, Louie, \u00a0look at the giant tits on that chick over there<\/em>&#8221; are not going to create a sexual vibe.\u00a0 It may make you feel cool around your pals but it&#8217;s not going to get the job done.<\/p>\n<p>I only covered two points today, but they&#8217;re perhaps the two most important culprits contributing to the failure of &#8220;Nice Guys&#8221; attracting women successfully.\u00a0 There is a lot of information, and you may want to review it a couple of time.\u00a0 Look at situations in years past with women you were dating where you failed to make decisions, suffered from being wishy-washy, and were afraid to become more sexual.\u00a0 Examine and learn from them.\u00a0 Don&#8217;t beat yourself up over it.<\/p>\n<p>Just learn and move forward from here.<\/p>\n<p>Two attributes I covered today:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Leading (in all 3 variations)<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Seeing women sexually &amp; Creating a Sexual vibe.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>OK, Part 3 is yet to come where I&#8217;ll discuss more elements and do a recap of all of these elements.<\/p>\n<p>Cameron<\/p>\n<p>PS. The very article you\u2019ve just read will significantly impact your dating life (and probably save you 1000s of Dollars)\u00a0.\u00a0 Please realize that it is supporting material to what I discuss in my expanded work.\u00a0\u00a0Get a copy of my Ebook here: \u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.attractwomenanywhere.com\/ebook.shtml\" target=\"_blank\">Building Attraction Ebook<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Why Do Some Nice Guys Finish Last in Dating? . . There is an old saying in the English language, &#8220;Nice guys finish last.&#8221; Is it true?\u00a0 Well, sometimes&#8230; Does&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[193,10],"tags":[154,59,234,233],"class_list":["post-1398","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general-dating-advice","category-in-field-advice","tag-attracting-women","tag-dating","tag-how-to-create-sexual-tension","tag-nice-guys-meeting-girls"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1398","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1398"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1398\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1407,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1398\/revisions\/1407"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1398"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1398"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1398"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}