{"id":1467,"date":"2009-12-25T07:00:14","date_gmt":"2009-12-25T14:00:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/?p=1467"},"modified":"2010-05-31T22:24:14","modified_gmt":"2010-06-01T05:24:14","slug":"the-enemy-or-friend-within-looking-from-the-inside-out%e2%80%a6","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/2009\/12\/25\/the-enemy-or-friend-within-looking-from-the-inside-out%e2%80%a6\/","title":{"rendered":"The Enemy or Friend within.  Looking From the Inside Out\u2026."},"content":{"rendered":"<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">The Enemy or Friend within.\u00a0 Your Subconscious Mind<\/span><\/h2>\n<p>.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>The importance of self-image is often neglected in the dating-advice arena and too often even those who preach confidence do so with the false bravado of the blissfully ignorant.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0To understand yourself and your own psyche is the first step in enabling yourself to start moving forward to a better tomorrow, today.\u00a0\u00a0 I started to write an article entitled &#8220;Why they disdain your good deeds&#8221; and as I started writing it, things took a vastly different turn.\u00a0 So I&#8217;ll post that article in the next Blog post entry.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0If you&#8217;re seeking answers regarding your dating life on the Internet, you&#8217;re going to run into all sorts of various systems, methods, and styles.\u00a0 There will be no shortage of &#8220;Gurus&#8221; who&#8217;d like you to worship them as entities sent from dimensions beyond our reach who have all the answers.\u00a0 They&#8217;ll offer you all sort of strategies and tactics in order to try to &#8220;Game girls.&#8221;\u00a0 Alleged wise-men will attempt to erase all of the baggage of your past with a little swish pattern from their NLP bag of tricks.\u00a0 Oh, they will have all sorts of answers&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes, the answers are within you.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0As I said, I started to write this article regarding the disdain some show towards kind deeds and it took a life of its own.\u00a0 It&#8217;s important to look at yourself first.\u00a0 You gain a better understanding of the world around you by having a better understanding of yourself.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0A quick crash course in practical Hypnosis. (please do not mistake this with creepy guys trying to use NLP patterns attempting to lay women.)\u00a0 I am not interested in that at all, and if you are, you should not be reading my blog.\u00a0 Go and study Bandler or RJ and learn to pattern.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0I am more interested in the science of the human brain and how it produces results.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0So let&#8217;s have a quick crash course on the basics:\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>\u00a0<span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Conscious brain<\/span><\/strong>:\u00a0 Makes logical decisions.\u00a0 Has the ability to reason, ability to do logic, solve complex math &amp; physics problems, or simple ones such as if you should close the window because it&#8217;s too hot or cold outside.\u00a0 It&#8217;s not emotional, and has more of a short-term memory.<br \/>\n\u00a0<\/li>\n<li>\u00a0<strong><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Subconscious brain<\/span><\/strong>:\u00a0 Long term memory, has stored everything that&#8217;s ever happened to you since you were born.\u00a0 An example of this would be the sudden recollection of some kid who sat next to you in the first grade.\u00a0 You may not have thought about that kid in 20, 30, 40, or 50 years.\u00a0 Suddenly, some event has that particular kid popping in your memory and you even remember his name.\u00a0 &#8220;I remember when that little fucker Jimmy borrowed my eraser and then swallowed it&#8230;&#8221;\u00a0<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>\u00a0Well, you hadn&#8217;t thought about that particular individual or incident in 20 years but it was always in your memory.\u00a0 That&#8217;s how the subconscious works.\u00a0 It&#8217;s YOUR life experience that it records.\u00a0 It&#8217;s also the EMOTIONAL Mind.\u00a0 <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">It&#8217;s the one that acts based out of feelings and emotions.<\/span>\u00a0 If you&#8217;re feeling insecure, alone, or hurt, this is the part of your mind that says things or has you doing things that you may later not look back so fondly of.\u00a0 It&#8217;s the one that has you saying something so insulting to someone you may even like during an argument just to make you feel better in that moment.\u00a0 There is no real logic, and you may regret having said that to your girlfriend\/boyfriend later, but at the time, it FELT good.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0Hence, the subconscious mind acts out of emotion and those emotions vary greatly based on the individual.\u00a0 Based on one&#8217;s <strong><em>self-image, beliefs, and fears<\/em>,<\/strong> a person&#8217;s behavior can also vary from another individual given the exact same circumstances.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\u00a0Simple Example:\u00a0 Two guys ask a girl for her phone number (Not at the same exact time.)\u00a0 She gives the exact same reply (same words &amp; Tonality) to both of them: <em>&#8220;Sorry, I can&#8217;t give my number out.&#8221;<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>\u00a0One guy assumes that he screwed it up.\u00a0 He is not charming or smooth enough.\u00a0 He thinks he has trouble attracting women.\u00a0 He fears that it might happen again with the next girl.\u00a0 He fears that maybe he is not attractive and so forth.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0The Other guy assumes that it was just bad timing.\u00a0 She probably had a bad experience, or maybe has a stalker ex-boyfriend&#8230; She probably just needs more time to feel comfortable. Ahh&#8230;. She&#8217;ll come around sooner or later.\u00a0\u00a0 No big deal either way.\u00a0 Maybe she lives with her parents and is embarrassed about receiving phone calls at the house.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0In reality, neither guy really knows the exact reason as to why she uttered the words, &#8220;Sorry, I can&#8217;t give my number out&#8221; even though she seemed friendly and interested during the interaction.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0They&#8217;re both left to speculate and in this case, one guy assumes the negative and one guy assumes the positive.\u00a0 A negative self-image often results in taking things more personally, and when fear show its ugly head, things really get out of hand.\u00a0 That fear has to be dealt with, but first it must be recognized.\u00a0 It&#8217;s not a universal fear.\u00a0 Human beings in general (male or female) may have various fears, (fear of success, fear of failure, fear of not being loved, fear of actually being loved, fear of lack of respect, fear of responsibility, and so forth.)<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0Wait, what the f*ck?\u00a0 Did you just write &#8220;<em>Fear of BEING loved?&#8221;<\/em>\u00a0 Yes, I did.\u00a0 As I said, the subconscious mind is NOT rational.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0It draws on experience and self-image.\u00a0 A woman may conclude, &#8220;Uncle Bob told me he loved me, and he molested me.\u00a0 My ex-husband swore he loved and repeatedly beat me physically.&#8221;\u00a0 Hence\u00a0her subconscious mind concludes that being loved equals negative consequence.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0Again, you and I consciously know that this is faulty reasoning and it&#8217;s rather absurd.\u00a0 That&#8217;s irrelevant.\u00a0 It only matters what the emotional part of the brain thinks and if it thinks that, then that&#8217;s how that person&#8217;s behavior is determined.\u00a0 To take the quote from Tom Cruise&#8217;s character in the classic film,\u00a0&#8220;<em><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">A Few Good Men<\/span><\/em>,&#8221;<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;It doesn&#8217;t matter what I think.\u00a0 It only matters what I can prove.&#8221;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>\u00a0The same dynamic applies here.\u00a0 It does not matter what your conscious mind knows.\u00a0 It only matters what your subconscious\/emotional mind\u00a0believes.\u00a0 If you can believe you&#8217;re someone of value on a deep-rooted subconscious level, then you will have gained a higher self-image.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>The same principle of &#8220;logic vs. Emotion&#8221;\u00a0holds true\u00a0in the same manner in that approach-anxiety is not eradicated through logic.\u00a0 It&#8217;s no secret that\u00a0a lot of guys become extremely nervous in attempting to ask out a woman.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Someone could logically explain that there is no physical harm in it, and in fact, no one will ever know.\u00a0 Logically, it makes perfect sense to approach her, but emotionally, it can be a train wreck.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0Sometimes you hear a person say that they have experienced a &#8220;<em>Moment of realization<\/em>&#8221; or an &#8220;<em>Epiphany<\/em>.&#8221;\u00a0 Many times, that simply amounts to self-awareness, a proverbial &#8220;Aha!!!!&#8221; moment, the moment where the individual becomes aware of his or her subconscious beliefs.\u00a0 Something like, &#8220;<em>OH WOW!\u00a0 All of these years I&#8217;ve been doing this or that, and it was always because I was afraid of<\/em>&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0 So you meet random people in life and they go their separate ways.\u00a0 Like the girl I met (friend of a friend of a friend type of thing) who kept boasting about her lifestyle of having nothing.\u00a0 She owns nothing, can&#8217;t hold down a job for more than 3 months, and is perpetually broke.\u00a0 Sometimes she finds herself bouncing on people&#8217;s sofas and sometimes she needs to &#8220;Borrow&#8221; money for food from friends.\u00a0 Yet, she is quick to brag about the fact that she is a &#8220;<em>Gypsy<\/em>&#8221; and has a <em><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">gypsy lifestyle<\/span><\/em>, and how somehow she has some sort of freedom that she can do anything and etc, etc, etc&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0How long do you listen to, and how long do you observe someone like that before you think&#8230; &#8220;Fear of responsibility.&#8221;\u00a0 Why does that person have that fear?\u00a0 We could only speculate.\u00a0 Only she knows the answer wedged deep in her own psyche.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<em><span style=\"color: #3366ff;\">Hence, as you go through this journey of learning dating advice, in your quest to become better at attracting women, understand the importance of improving your self-image and eradicating your fears.\u00a0 You may or may not know what those fears are at this point, but you&#8217;ll face them one day and that&#8217;s a good thing.\u00a0 Recognizing those fears is the first step in dealing with them, overcoming them, and then moving forward.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0Keep it in perspective:<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0The proverbial &#8220;Inner-game&#8221; or self-confidence cannot teach you social skills.\u00a0 It can&#8217;t teach how to be a better story-teller or conversationalist, not can it suddenly increase your social intelligence.\u00a0 It can, however, free you from the fears that prevent you from taking action in whatever endeavors you&#8217;ve been refraining from.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0Work on yourself, learn the proper skills, and be weary of those who offer you quick-fixes and be weary of those who have ALL of the answers.\u00a0 If you feel that that you have a string of negative experiences in dating women (or men if you&#8217;re a female), you&#8217;re not the only one.\u00a0 You can turn that around, but it starts with enrolling yourself in the process, the process of self-discovery and the process of learning better social skills.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0It&#8217;s not going to happen overnight as much as savvy marketers will promise you that.\u00a0 It&#8217;s no different than trying to shed fat and\u00a0developing a fit body.\u00a0 It takes time, and you make progress.\u00a0 Beware of self-proclaimed gurus, and beware of snake-oil salesmen reminiscent of a night-stalker waiting for you at every turn.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0Keep focused on the task at hand. \u00a0In 3 broad steps, those amount to,\u00a0<\/p>\n<ul type=\"disc\">\n<li>Discover the root of your fears<\/li>\n<li>Work on improving your self-image one step at a time<\/li>\n<li>Learn better social skills.\u00a0 Be more engaging\/appealing<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>\u00a0 &#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0\u00a0Stay tuned for the next blog article where I finally will discuss &#8220;Why they Disdain your good deeds.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Cameron<\/p>\n<p>PS.\u00a0 The article that you\u2019ve just read will significantly impact your dating life..\u00a0 Please realize that it is supporting material to what I discuss in my expanded work.\u00a0 <a href=\"http:\/\/www.attractwomenanywhere.com\/ebook.shtml\" target=\"_blank\">Building Attraction Ebook<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Enemy or Friend within.\u00a0 Your Subconscious Mind .\u00a0 The importance of self-image is often neglected in the dating-advice arena and too often even those who preach confidence do so&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[183,59,167,100,216,97,6,96],"class_list":["post-1467","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-self-confidence","tag-approaching-women","tag-dating","tag-dating-women","tag-innergame-self-confidence","tag-meeting-women","tag-self-esteem","tag-self-development","tag-self-image"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1467","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1467"}],"version-history":[{"count":15,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1467\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1476,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1467\/revisions\/1476"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1467"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1467"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1467"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}