{"id":1480,"date":"2009-12-28T14:15:14","date_gmt":"2009-12-28T21:15:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/?p=1480"},"modified":"2010-05-31T22:22:41","modified_gmt":"2010-06-01T05:22:41","slug":"why-they-disdain-your-good-deeds","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/2009\/12\/28\/why-they-disdain-your-good-deeds\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Some Women Disdain Your Good Deeds!"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Why\u00a0Certain Women\u00a0Disdain Your Good Deeds<\/span><\/h2>\n<p>\u00a0.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0I have had a few guys write and ask questions regarding a particular excerpt in one particular blog post.\u00a0 The post was &#8220;Definitive Series on Party Chicks Part 2&#8221; and here is the excerpt I wrote:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><em>&#8220;Everything is designed to garner attention, and yet they will disdain you for giving them that attention. That is paradox in all of this, and it&#8217;s the cornerstone of what so many guys miss. The psychological reasons for the disdain warrant an entirely different essay altogether. (That&#8217;d perhaps be good fodder for a different blog entry.)&#8221;<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>One of the readers commented on the Blog that he wanted to know more and he is not the only one.\u00a0 A few guys emailed me and had the same request:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Dude, seriously, if you have the time and kind enough to type it up, would love to read a more in depth breakdown of the above!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>\u00a0OK, so let&#8217;s talk about the reasons why this phenomenon exists.\u00a0 I&#8217;ll talk about the reasons why, and perhaps more importantly, how to deal with it.\u00a0 I am assuming that this is a common experience shared by a lot of dating-advice seekers.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0Well, to really understand this, you gotta dig a bit deeper.\u00a0 You have to understand self-image, the conscious and subconscious mind.\u00a0 Since so many guys are asking me about it, I&#8217;ll explain it and I am going to delve a little bit into the intellectual side before bringing it back to the caveman side.\u00a0\u00a0 To clearly understand and grasp what I am going to discuss here, please read the previous article on the Subconscious mind, Self-image, and beliefs and fears.\u00a0 You can read it here:<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/2009\/12\/25\/the-enemy-or-friend-within-looking-from-the-inside-out%e2%80%a6\/\" target=\"_blank\">Understanding the Key to Your Behavior: Your Subconscious mind!<\/a><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0This article is an important primer.\u00a0 It took me a while to understand this stuff myself, and I had to look at the deeper structure of the psychological reasons behind it, and learning hypnosis and such helped provide a clearer picture of the overall scenario.\u00a0 Why all the psycho babble?\u00a0 Well, you asked the question,\u00a0 So we need this primer to understand the deep psychology of a behavior.\u00a0 So assuming you read that primer article, let&#8217;s get to answering the question.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Why would someone be uncomfortable with your good deed?\u00a0\u00a0<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&#8211; Reason 1:\u00a0 The obvious one: needing to impress, kissing ass, trying too hard, etc&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>However, in the party chick blog article, that&#8217;s not the modality I was referring to.\u00a0 Sometimes, even doing a kind gesture, even without neediness, can result in their disdain towards ya.\u00a0 Why does this happen?\u00a0 How is that you could do something nice for someone, and they dislike you for it?<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0Do remember that simply knowing this on an intellectual level isn&#8217;t going to be supremely beneficial to you.\u00a0\u00a0 Knowing how to apply the information is what&#8217;s going to be of benefit. I&#8217;ll get to that later as well.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0 So back the Party-chick\/attention-whore archetype.\u00a0\u00a0 You&#8217;re dealing with a type that is insanely insecure.\u00a0 Heck, a lot of us have insecurities here and there, but this type of person takes it to a whole different level.\u00a0<\/p>\n<ul type=\"disc\">\n<li>Deep down inside, in their subconscious mind, they have a very low self-image of themselves.\u00a0<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>In this case, let&#8217;s talk about the really cute low-self imaged clich\u00e9 stripper with a slim waist and big tits.\u00a0 This will help you with the imagery.\u00a0 So with that visual in mind,\u00a0imagine the following\u00a0scenario.\u00a0<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\u00a0Hypothetical Scenario:\u00a0<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>\u00a0Imagine you&#8217;re in the same social circle and you make a run to a\u00a0 run to local restaurant to buy a sandwich for yourself.\u00a0 While standing in line, you recall that one of the girls in the group was pretty hungry and think to yourself, &#8220;I&#8217;ll get her a sandwich too.\u00a0 It&#8217;s 5 bucks and I&#8217;d appreciate it if someone did the same thing for me if I were hungry.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0You come back and give her the Sandwich, and somehow, she is less nice to you NOW than before.\u00a0 You think, &#8220;<em>What the fuck?\u00a0 Not only I don&#8217;t get a basic thank you, but now she ignores me.&#8221;<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0 You&#8217;re\u00a0upset.\u00a0 You think,<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u00a0&#8220;I did something really nice for her, and in return, she only became MORE Rude to me! Why?&#8221;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>\u00a0Why?\u00a0 You want answers?\u00a0 Well, here you go.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0You&#8217;re dealing with a person who has an extremely low self-image of herself.\u00a0 On the outside, she may act arrogant, rude, and snobby.\u00a0 She may dance around, strut her big tits in low cleavage shirts, and pose like a model every single time a camera remotely points towards her.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Objection your honor!\u00a0\u00a0 Irrelevant.\u00a0 Irrelevant. Irrelevant.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>If you could pull a Mr. Spock out of your ass and do a motherf**king Vulcan Mind-Meld with her in order to see inside her mind, you&#8217;d see that:<\/p>\n<p>Subconsciously, she thinks she is a piece of shit, and that&#8217;s all that matters.\u00a0 It&#8217;s what the subconscious believes that matters.\u00a0 (As you ought to know by now from reading the last article.)<\/p>\n<p>Now, you come along, and do your good deed.\u00a0 Here is the big question:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>What kind of a person does something so nice &amp; thoughtful for a piece of shit?<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">\u00a0An even bigger piece of shit.\u00a0 An even bigger loser than even she is. <\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0Again, I never said the subconscious mind was logical.\u00a0 It acts out of EMOTION and those emotions are greatly affected by one&#8217;s self-image.\u00a0\u00a0In those sequence of events, sometimes your kind and thoughtful gesture leads to disdain.<\/p>\n<p>On the same note, what kind of a person takes photos with various women and puts them online as trophies that he has banged?\u00a0 What kind of a person takes photos of women who were intimate with him and shows them to random stranger to show how cool he is?\u00a0 You getting to see bigger picture here?<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0You can see this behavior in men as well.\u00a0 In fact, if any of you read the book &#8220;The Game&#8221; by Neil Strauss, are in for a treat because I have numerous anecdotal stories from the time spent in the famous &#8220;Pick Up Artist&#8221; house..<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0Anyone who ever hung out at Project Hollywood experienced his fair share of backhanded insults by Neil Strauss at some point. He disguised them as jokes.\u00a0 They became known as &#8220;Style-mogs.&#8221;\u00a0 It was Neil&#8217;s attempt to show his superiority\u00a0by\u00a0belittling you.\u00a0 It was his attempt to show that he was a &#8220;Cooler&#8221; guy to those around him.\u00a0 This was behavior towards guys\u00a0who had no ill-will against him, and initially thought well of him.\u00a0 It&#8217;d all soon turn sour.\u00a0 Just a matter of time.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Then I realized Neil&#8217;s M.O.\u00a0 His pattern on behavior was simple.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0In reality, his Modus Operandi is simple: Get in the first strike.\u00a0 Don&#8217;t let them get the best of you.\u00a0 If you meet someone for the first time, try to establish that you&#8217;re cooler than they are.\u00a0 Don&#8217;t give them a chance to get a joke on you first.\u00a0 Hey, that person may pull a joke on you, and embarrass you, but not if you get the initial punch in first.\u00a0 If you get that one in, then the other person is just retaliating on some level, and you&#8217;ve already established that you&#8217;re cool anyway.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0It&#8217;s born out of <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">FEAR<\/span>.\u00a0 A fear that someone out there may be cooler than you, or maybe more suave or likable.\u00a0 Insult them first, and establish a baseline.\u00a0 Now, he may or may not be aware of this behavior consciously.\u00a0 It doesn&#8217;t matter\u00a0\u00a0 Until you take steps to be cool with yourself, it&#8217;s difficult to be cool with others.\u00a0 Until the subconscious mind is OK sharing the spotlight with someone else, you&#8217;re going to try to do things to out manuver them.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0This behavior can be seen in individuals in all walks of life.\u00a0 If you live in the U.S, you probably are familiar with professional American-football player Terrel Owens,\u00a0 otherwise known as T.O.\u00a0 Despite all of his accomplishments as an athlete, his inner programming reeks of self-loathing and disdain for himself.\u00a0 Hence, at every given opportunity, he does something to grab hold of the spotlight.\u00a0 Granted, a lot of athletes love the spotlight, and\u00a0most of us\u00a0like our egos stroked.\u00a0 It&#8217;s in our nature, and there is nothing dirty about it.\u00a0\u00a0However, &#8220;T.O&#8221; takes it to a whole different level, because<\/p>\n<p>&#8211;\u00a0It doesn&#8217;t matter if his behavior hurts his team during the game by resulting in a penalty.<br \/>\n&#8211; It doesn&#8217;t matter if his behavior hurts his team or his teammates.\u00a0<br \/>\n&#8211;\u00a0It doesn&#8217;t matter if his behavior serves as a distraction that results in his team losing games and consequently missing the playoffs.<\/p>\n<p>None of it matters.\u00a0 T.O wants his attention, and his deep-rooted insecurities wedged in his subconscious mind run that programming wherever he goes.\u00a0 Every time he goes to a new team, he repeats the same behavior and in two-year&#8217;s time, his teammates can&#8217;t stand him, and he finds himself looking to go to a new team.<\/p>\n<p>I give these examples to show that a low self-image can afflict male or females.\u00a0 It can afflict the &#8220;Average Joe&#8221; or a famous American Athlete who plays NFL Football.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0People whose actions are driven from a low self-image often repeat the same pattern and now we&#8217;re back to your good deeds in the dating and attracting women realm.\u00a0 Sometimes, doing a good deed for someone of low-self esteem will make them resent you.\u00a0 The problem is that a lot of guys deal with this type of women and they conclude that &#8220;Women are bitches.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0I won&#8217;t attempt to talk people out of that belief. It&#8217;s pointless.\u00a0 However, perhaps, a better way to rephrase that is, &#8220;The type of women you <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">choose<\/span> to deal with are bitches.&#8221;\u00a0 And in reality, they just really loathe themselves.\u00a0 You may have just happened to catch he brunt of it.<\/p>\n<p>OK, so now you understand the reasons for the disdain on an intelectual level.\u00a0 It doesn&#8217;t do much good unless you can APPLY it.\u00a0 So let&#8217;s get to the next segment&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 &#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0-PRACTICAL PORTION OF THE SHOW:<\/p>\n<p>So what does all this mean to you in the Dating\/Relationship realm?<\/p>\n<p>Well, here is what I&#8217;ve come to learn:<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0When you want to do a good deed for someone, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">first decide if you&#8217;re doing it to impress them<\/span>?\u00a0\u00a0 That&#8217;s the first basic rule.\u00a0 Many times, guys will go out of their way to do nice things for women and it&#8217;s a bit too much too quickly.\u00a0 You probably have read about this in various dating advice platforms, and it&#8217;s a basic truism of human interaction.\u00a0 This behavior deseves its own blog post.\u00a0 This behavior consists of everything from calling too many times to sending inordinate amounts of texts to buying gifts and doing favors when the relationship status does not warrant such behavior.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0Secondly, understand that sometimes doing unsolicited acts of kindness for low self-esteem people can backfire.\u00a0 Granted, you may still do such things, but then, don&#8217;t frown and pout that they were &#8220;Unappreciative&#8221; or that they &#8220;Didn&#8217;t return the favor.&#8221;\u00a0\u00a0 It&#8217;s one thing if someone asks you for something, but if you&#8217;re just going to offer random acts of kindness, be more judicious as to whom the recipients of this act shall be.<\/p>\n<p>So how does one decide if he should go forward with that doing that favor?\u00a0 You can evaluate through a simple concept:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\u00a0<span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">Willingness to Contribute<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>\u00a0This is how I see it: If you&#8217;re going to do nice things for people, you&#8217;ll have to gauge their personalities, values and actions.\u00a0 You may do something nice for someone once or twice, but if you see a pattern of lack of contribution from them, then cut it off.\u00a0 No harm, No Foul as the great Chick Hearn used to say.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0This applies to men and women equally.\u00a0 Whether it&#8217;s a woman you&#8217;re dating or a male-buddy, you have to make a decision at some point if that person has the willingness to contribute something.\u00a0 Contribution need not be financial or monetary.\u00a0 It could be as simple as someone helping you move a sofa, or giving you a referral, or helping you put together a resume.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0An important key to make note of is that you&#8217;re not expecting things in return and you are NOT asking for anything.\u00a0 As the great philosopher <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Rocky<\/span> <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Balboa<\/span> once said in Rocky III, &#8220;<em><strong>Nobody owes nobody nothing.\u00a0 Friends do because they wanna do.&#8221;<\/strong><\/em>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0Once again, if you stick with that basic Rocky philosophy, (even if it sounds simpleton), you&#8217;ll be alright. If you have friends (or girlfriends) who do not want to do, then maybe you should consider new ones.<\/p>\n<p>Cameron<\/p>\n<p>PS. The articles that you\u2019ve just read will significantly impact your dating life..\u00a0 Please realize that it is supporting material to what I discuss in my expanded work.\u00a0 <a href=\"http:\/\/www.attractwomenanywhere.com\/ebook.shtml\" target=\"_blank\">Building Attraction Ebook<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Why\u00a0Certain Women\u00a0Disdain Your Good Deeds \u00a0. \u00a0I have had a few guys write and ask questions regarding a particular excerpt in one particular blog post.\u00a0 The post was &#8220;Definitive Series&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1480","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-human-social-psychology-and-behavior"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1480","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1480"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1480\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1486,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1480\/revisions\/1486"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1480"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1480"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1480"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}