{"id":1801,"date":"2010-02-14T17:43:37","date_gmt":"2010-02-15T00:43:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/?p=1801"},"modified":"2010-05-31T10:18:18","modified_gmt":"2010-05-31T17:18:18","slug":"defining-charisma-charm-how-do-you-develop-them","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/2010\/02\/14\/defining-charisma-charm-how-do-you-develop-them\/","title":{"rendered":"Defining Charisma & Charm! How do you develop Charisma?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Defining Charisma & Charm! How do you develop Charisma?<\/span><\/h2>\n

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What are they?\u00a0 Are there differences between the two?\u00a0 Can you develop Charisma or Charm?<\/p>\n

If so, how?<\/p>\n

There was a time I really wanted to understand what made someone Charming.\u00a0 I understood Charisma on some level but I didn\u2019t really get the notion of what elements made someone charming.\u00a0 Problem was no one else could define it either.\u00a0 19-years old in a university full of professors, and I couldn\u2019t find anyone to give a straight answer.<\/p>\n

I mean you could ask the professor who has a PH.D in sociology from a distinguished university and all he could give you was some fluff that couldn\u2019t really deconstruct the elements.\u00a0 If professors in psychology, philosophy, or sociology couldn\u2019t define it, then who could?\u00a0 There wasn\u2019t even an Internet database where you could conduct searches on Google.<\/p>\n

So, I had to find my own answers. Textbooks didn\u2019t have it, and nor did any professors. I wish I had some sort of a noble intention but I really wanted to know because I knew charm was a good quality to possess in attracting women, and when you\u2019re 19 years old, that\u2019s a very serious issue.\u00a0 It took me a while, and I sort of went the long in doing all of this, lots of trial & error, mixed up with various individuals, lots of reading, experimenting, essentially absorbing data like a sponge and writing analysis based on that data.\u00a0 Eventually, however, I was able to not only understand it intuitively, but even able to explain to others cognitively.<\/p>\n

So then, what is CHARM? What is CHARISMA?\u00a0 Are they the same or is there a difference?\u00a0 Can you become more charming or charismatic?\u00a0 If it\u2019s possible, then how do you do that?<\/p>\n

Well, it\u2019s Valentine\u2019s day, and so here is my Valentine\u2019s day gift to you, the Blog reader:\u00a0 An Article to provide insight in order to enable you develop these characteristics.<\/p>\n

Being Charismatic and charming are two different behaviors and while they affect each other, they operate on separate plains.\u00a0\u00a0 You can be charismatic and not very charming, but in order to be charming, you need a little charisma.\u00a0 Not a lot, but you do need a little bit of it.\u00a0 Before going any further, we need a baseline & agreeable description of each quality.<\/p>\n

First we have Marian-Webster Dictionary definition:<\/p>\n

*Charisma:\u00a0\u00a0 A personal magic of leadership arousing special popular loyalty or enthusiasm for a public figure (as a political leader)79856320<\/p>\n

*Charm:\u00a0 A trait that fascinates, allures, or delights. B: A physical grace or attraction- used in plural <her feminine charms>\u00a0 C: compelling attractiveness <the island possessed great charm>\u00a0 Charimg: extremely pleasing or delightful.<\/p>\n

Those were the \u201cOfficial\u201d definitions.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019ll personally provide the following general layman definition:<\/p>\n

*Charisma:\u00a0 Charismatic is being magnetic and inspirational.\u00a0 Magnetic is perhaps the perfect word here because it describes the ability to attract people.\u00a0 More so, being charismatic implies that one has the ability to inspire people.<\/p>\n

*Charming:\u00a0 Charming is essentially having the ability to make people feel good.\u00a0 Unlike being charismatic, you don\u2019t have to necessarily be passionate or inspirational to be charming.<\/p>\n

So let\u2019s start with those general definitions.\u00a0 The next is a step by step break down to deconstruct what each one is, using historical figures who depict those qualities.\u00a0 In order to illustrate these behaviors and paint a more clear picture, I\u2019m going to utilize various historical figures who depicted and exhibited these behaviors.<\/p>\n

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What is Being CHARISMATIC?<\/h2>\n

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People who are charismatic are able to lead and sway people\u2019s emotions.\u00a0 Leadership in this context takes on a very interesting connotation.\u00a0 It\u2019s not merely enough to want to force people to do something, but rather, the more important distinction is to realize that leaders have the ability to inspire people to WANT to do something.\u00a0 It is this innate ability to inspire people\u2019s desire level to take action that separates charismatic leaders from the rest.<\/p>\n

In essence, charismatic figures are able to lead by swaying people\u2019s emotions.\u00a0 They do so through inspiring them, and essentially, they galvanize people to take action.<\/p>\n

But how?<\/p>\n

They have a unique ability to allow people to see the bigger picture.\u00a0 They\u2019re able to move people emotionally through allowing them to see the bigger picture of life, of how they can be better.<\/p>\n

Essentially, they have the ability to allow people to see a better version of themselves in the future.\u00a0 Not too many individuals were better at doing this than John F. Kennedy.\u00a0 Growing up, he was one of the people I idolized even though he had long passed away before I was even born.\u00a0 Nevertheless, I was inspired enough to read more about him, and get my hands on various pieces of literature regarding his life and times. As a result, I was able to learn quite about him which will serve well in the following examples.<\/p>\n

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John F. Kennedy<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

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JFK had the ability to project a better self-image onto people.\u00a0 This is supremely powerful. Human beings by nature want to believe that they are noble.\u00a0 They want to believe that they are better than they think they are at this very moment.\u00a0 They look to those who can make them feel dignified.<\/p>\n

If you ever watch Oliver Stone\u2019s film \u201cNixon<\/em>,\u201d you\u2019ll see an unforgettable scene featuring a memorable quote towards the end of the film.\u00a0 Disgraced from the Presidency and the White House, Richard Nixon is getting ready to step down as President.\u00a0 While walking the hallway, he sees an oversized portrait of John F. Kennedy.\u00a0 Upon seeing this, a disenchanted and shameful Nixon utters,<\/p>\n

When they look at you, they see what they want to be, when they look at me, they see what they are…<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It\u2019s one of the most profound quotes you\u2019ll ever hear in a movie and nowhere is the difference in Charisma better explained in such short words than in that quote.<\/p>\n

People are resistant to a negative self-image of themselves.\u00a0 Even if the individual in question is the thief, liar, or the conniving con-artist backstabber, he still wants to believe that he could be noble if the circumstances were different.\u00a0 When they look at John F. Kennedy, they are somehow reminded that they can be better. John F. Kennedy makes you feel and believe that you can be better, and he inspires you to be better. \u00a0When that same swindler sees Richard Nixon, he is reminded of what he actually is.<\/p>\n

So then how was John F. Kennedy able to accomplish this?\u00a0 How was he able to galvanize the masses to take action?<\/p>\n

It starts with passion.\u00a0 That person has to bring forth an easily distinguishable amount of passion. He has to present that passion from a place of sincerity.\u00a0 In essence, that passion has to come from his soul, if you will.\u00a0 It has to rise from within.\u00a0 It\u2019s difficult to fake that sort of passion.<\/p>\n

So then, why is it that some people have that passion and some don\u2019t?\u00a0 What creates that difference?<\/p>\n

In order to answer that, we have to yet dig one level deeper.\u00a0 When we dig deeper, and delve deeper, we once again find ourselves looking at Purpose & Identity<\/span>.\u00a0 Purpose & Identity create an unmistakable quality that is very transparent.\u00a0 People may not be able to define it but they can recognize it.<\/p>\n

People who have a strong sense of self (Identity), and a strong sense of purpose have what is, in my opinion, the most attractive quality: Certainty<\/span>.<\/p>\n

Certainty is the most attractive quality a person can have.\u00a0 (And if you\u2019ve read my Ebook, you\u2019d know this already.)\u00a0 I\u2019ve never heard another person say this, nor have I heard any dating \u201cgurus\u201d discuss it.\u00a0 Nevertheless, I am sure of it.\u00a0 Certainty, certainly is the most attractive quality.<\/p>\n

\u201cPower is the ultimate aphrodisiac<\/em>,\u201d is an old clich\u00e9, but really it\u2019s not power that people really are talking about, it\u2019s strength<\/span>.\u00a0 (Read my article, Strength.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ) And that strength is generated from with in because you have to have certainty.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s Certainty in your purpose & Identity which then forms certainty in your beliefs.<\/span> This certainty manifests itself in the way you speak, in the way you carry yourself, and in your overall actions.<\/p>\n

Why this is the most attractive quality is outside the scope of this discussion .\u00a0 However, this attraction applies in the dating world, and to your dating life as well.\u00a0 Interestingly enough, it also applies to world leaders who want to inspire people to action.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s with conviction and resolve that JFK stands on a podium and tells the masses that we are going to put a man on the moon before the end of the decade. He believes it, and more importantly, he makes us believe it, even though the technology to accomplish this task is not even in place yet.<\/p>\n

\u00a0He creates the Peace Corps, a volunteer organization that allows people to serve humanity in 3rd<\/sup> world countries for very little pay.\u00a0 This is done so with passion, purpose and it also gives people the ability to see the bigger picture, and a better version of themselves and it is carried out with certainty.<\/p>\n

\u00a0John F. Kennedy, through consensus by almost all eyewitness account was also a very charming individual.\u00a0 Yet, you don\u2019t have to be charming to be a charismatic individual.<\/p>\n

\u00a0You don\u2019t even have to be \u201cGood\u201d in the clich\u00e9d definition of that word.\u00a0 There are characters in history who have been widely recognized as charismatic and they weren\u2019t necessarily charming and sometimes they weren\u2019t even necessary nice guys.<\/p>\n

\u00a0As a simple example, most historians and people in general would describe Hitler as a very charismatic individual and almost no one would ever describe Hitler as \u201cGood.\u201d \u00a0This is a case where we could throw around the word \u201cEvil\u201d and even the most foo-foo pansy new-age type person would dare not disagree with us.\u00a0\u00a0 Yet, the tyrant was able to galvanize people to take action because he had certainty, conviction, and had a strong purpose. He also was able to project a better self-image onto people by promising them a better tomorrow.<\/p>\n

\u00a0His ability to lead people to see things through his eyes is perhaps in the same mold as the modern day religious leaders and evangelists you see on TV. They all have a certain passion for something, and believe in that cause.\u00a0 That cause doesn\u2019t necessarily have to be a humane cause, but the believers must believe that they\u2019re doing the right thing.<\/p>\n

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George S. Patton <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u00a0You could make a strong case for WWII, United States general George S. Patton being a charismatic leader.\u00a0 Patton is regarded as an astute tactician, a great leader, and a charismatic individual.\u00a0 By all historical accounts, Patton is by no means considered a charming individual.\u00a0 He was a proverbial \u201cHard-Ass\u201d and didn\u2019t take shit from anyone, and yet, his attitude commanded respect from his soldiers and peers alike.\u00a0 George S. Patton is recognized as perhaps the best in field leader of that war.<\/p>\n

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Earvin Magic Johnson<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u00a0In the Sports world, basketball player Ervin \u201cMagic\u201d Johnson is generally regarded as a very charismatic individual.\u00a0 Magic Johnson is an interesting case, because he has redefined his sense of purpose over the years.\u00a0 A kid with a perpetual enormous grin on his face, he set out to be one of the greatest basketball players of all time.\u00a0 He went on to establish himself in the eyes of many (and certainly me) as the greatest basketball player who ever played the game.<\/p>\n

\u00a0After prematurely retiring from the game, he went on to build a business empire of sorts becoming far more financially successful in business than he ever was in basketball.\u00a0 His purpose of being a great basketball player shifted to being an ultra successful businessman and father.\u00a0 Does his name warrant being mentioned in the same article as Patton and JFK?\u00a0 Well, before you decide, you have to see the overall picture of what Magic had to deal with.<\/p>\n

\u00a0It\u2019s important to note that in 1991, Magic Johnson contracted the HIV Virus.\u00a0 Also, in 1991, people thought of that as death sentence.\u00a0 Yet, there stood on the podium, the only one believing that he was going to beat the virus, and continue living.<\/p>\n

\u00a0To throw the towel in at that point would have been easy and yet his strong sense of purpose and identity enabled him to move forward and make progress.\u00a0 In this case, just staying alive by itself took purpose, and perhaps, it was his strong sense of purpose that gave him the passion to live. Magic Johnson is inspirational in the sense that his life\u2019s goals may have changed but his passion for life and his purpose remained unaffected.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Going from one of the top basketball players ever to a successful businessman while contracting a disease most folk considered a death sentence, Magic remained purposeful and still moved forward while inspiring people.\u00a0\u00a0 In 2010, Magic is still living an active productive life running multiple business while finding time to do occsasional commentary on basketball shows.\u00a0 In the midst of all this, it is forgotten that he wasn’t even supposed to be around at this point.<\/p>\n

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In a nutshell:<\/p>\n

Whether they are individuals we consider \u201cGood\u201d or \u201cEvil\u201d, and regardless of whether they push for forward-progress or tyranny, charismatic individuals are passionate individuals whose sense of passion arises from a strong identity<\/span> and a very clear strong purpose<\/span>.\u00a0 Regardless of whom we are discussing,\u00a0 JFK, Martin Luther King Jr. or Fidel Castro, the aforementioned charisma stems from the fact that they are able to move people emotionally.<\/em><\/p>\n

They are able to galvanize people to action, inspire them, and project onto them a better image of themselves.\u00a0 They are able to give the masses a better self-image & the chance to be noble, \u00a0as well as able to unite the masses for a common cause.\u00a0They carry this out with certainty, fervor, and passion. <\/em><\/p>\n

You can use this information to create more charisma in your personality whether you want to be more successful in dating or if you\u2019re a college kid who plans to run for political office one day.\u00a0 The elements of charisma do not change.\u00a0 Without delving into too much detail and psychobabble,\u00a0I am going\u00a0to provide\u00a0a bullet point & concise list of what creates charisma, and what you need in order to develop it.\u00a0 I discussed two main elements: \u00a0The behavior of a charsimatic individual, as well as\u00a0the personal inner-working of such individuals that makes them what\/who they are:<\/p>\n

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Charismatic Individuals:<\/strong><\/p>\n

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