{"id":2325,"date":"2010-08-10T06:00:12","date_gmt":"2010-08-10T13:00:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/?p=2325"},"modified":"2011-01-13T17:24:02","modified_gmt":"2011-01-14T00:24:02","slug":"toxic-personalities-in-dating-the-taker","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/2010\/08\/10\/toxic-personalities-in-dating-the-taker\/","title":{"rendered":"Toxic Personalities in Dating: The Taker"},"content":{"rendered":"

Value Taker\u00a0 – A sense of entitlement<\/span><\/h2>\n

.<\/p>\n

Continuing in this series of toxic personality traits<\/strong><\/em>, we come to the examine the value taker.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 This is a trait <\/strong>exhibited by individuals who have a great propensity towards self-absorption and a lack of willingness to want to contribute.<\/p>\n

To compound the above mentioned issues, these individuals also may display a bewildering sense of entitlement.\u00a0 I’ll explain that a bit later.<\/p>\n

Like the complainer, the value-taker can become just as easy to spot, if you learn to know what to look for.\u00a0\u00a0 To start identifying this trait, you\u00a0 just have to be aware of super basic tell-tale signs that give them away.<\/p>\n

The most noticeable trait that is rather self evident is their complete disregard towards other people’s lives.\u00a0 You’ll quickly note their tendency to not ask any questions about you.\u00a0 When they do, it\u2019s related to what they can siphon off for themselves.\u00a0 It’s not about showing any actual interest in you.<\/p>\n

So let’s assume you’re at a party, and you run to such types.\u00a0 They’ll come into basic general varieties.<\/p>\n

Type 1 :<\/strong> The Proverbial Gold-Digger who will dig for information: What do you drive?\u00a0 Do you own or rent? What kind of a job?\u00a0 They may not ask explicitly and blatantly, but they\u2019ll try to investigate to discover this info.<\/p>\n

Type II:<\/strong> Talk about themselves constantly.\u00a0 Sometimes it\u2019s the gold digger trying to impress you.\u00a0 Having established you\u2019re someone of value, she is going to want to make a good impression.\u00a0 The most fascinating part this is that her own gold-digging prowess is limited by her lack of social skills.<\/p>\n

It\u2019ll sound like this: \u201cOh, I just moved her from Chicago, ya know I just love Chicago, but I moved out here, then when I got here, blah, blah, blah,\u2026 (2 min later)\u00a0 then 3 weeks later when I was on this job, I heard that\u2026. Blah, blah, blah\u2026”<\/em><\/p>\n

Their story is not anecdotal, nor does it have a point.\u00a0 It\u2019s not meant to entertain you, (because that\u2019d be actually contributing something to the interaction), nor is it in the spirit of sharing and establishing rapport between two individuals.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s just a person talking.\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s NOT whimsical, insightful, educational, anecdotal, humorous, or entertaining.\u00a0 Just random words thrown in the air that follow enough of a format where they seem to make somewhat coherent sentences in the English language.\u00a0 (or a foreign language for that matter.)<\/p>\n

To go a step deeper, individuals with this toxic personality trait often display a sense of entitlement.\u00a0 For some reason, unbeknownst to the rest of humanity, these people feel that they\u2019re entitled to certain things.\u00a0 For this reason, they\u2019re the worst to deal with in any sort of relationship, be it friendships, business, or romantic.<\/p>\n

You could easily gather a handful of various businessmen in a variety of industries and they could easily tell you the common behavioral patterns amongst problem customers who suffer from a sense of entitlement.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s say you had some sort of a consulting service, and you\u2019re one of the best at what you do.\u00a0 Your rates for services rendered are an even $100 per hour.<\/p>\n

A healthy person would enjoy your services, thank you for a job well done, and refer many clients towards word of mouth.<\/p>\n

A toxic \u201cEntitled\u201d person would stay a half hour over time squeezing more of your services and time, (now up to 90 minutes instead of 60), and then at the end of all that, try to negotiate to pay less than the usual 100-Dollar rate.<\/p>\n

Worst case scenario: He wasted an extra half hour of your time, paid you less than your current rates, and then may still want a refund 3 weeks later.\u00a0\u00a0 I have no respect for these types of people. They pull douchebag moves that are driven by their self-absorption and sense of entitlement.<\/p>\n

As usual, this is not specific to gender.\u00a0 Both men and women can possess this toxic trait.<\/p>\n

What you can do about it:\u00a0 Get the f*** away from such people.\u00a0 These are not people you want to be involved with in relationships, friendships, or business!!<\/p>\n

Sometimes, just the questions they ask you reveal enough insight that enables you to distinguish the toxicity within their personalities.\u00a0 In business, it\u2019s the difference between, \u201cWow, your rates are too steep man<\/em>\u201d versus \u201cI can\u2019t afford all of that right now.\u00a0 Is there something else I can do or offer to make up for it<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n

The latter person wants to contribute. This in fact reminds me of a friend of mine who is a fantastic kickboxer. He charges a good rate for his hourly services, but then, every so often I\u2019d find random dudes helping him in various endeavor.<\/p>\n

Upon being asked regarding a guy helping him build a fence in his backyard, he responded, \u201cOh, that\u2019s \u2018John\u2019.\u00a0 He can\u2019t afford to pay me so I told him I\u2019d teach him and he could help me build that fence.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I told him it sounded like the Karate Kid movie all over again!\u00a0 He laughed and agreed.<\/p>\n

The point is, \u201cJohn\u201d was willing to contribute but the dude simply couldn\u2019t afford to pay the cash required.\u00a0 Working a job that paid him 12 Dollars an hour didn’t allow him to afford to pay 75 Dollars for a private lesson.<\/p>\n

Was building a fence exact compensation? Nope, but it was enough of an effort that was worthy.\u00a0\u00a0 The kickboxing teacher expressed to me,\u00a0 “OK, the guy is a hard worker, dedicated, wants to learn and is willing to put an effort to contribute in whatever way he can…..”<\/em><\/p>\n

Will everyone be willing to do what my kickboxing teacher friend did? No, but you\u2019ll find enough people who will help you if you are willing to CONTRIBUTE <\/strong>in whatever way you can.<\/p>\n

——————–<\/p>\n

So let\u2019s bring it all back to the dating application<\/span>:<\/p>\n

With a little bit of experience, you can ascertain the knowledge and gauge these traits rather instinctively. (Do keep in mind that we’re discussing specific traits within someone’s personality that spell disaster.)<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re talking to some girl at a random party and you find that all she does is talk about herself, you already know what you need to know.\u00a0 Person is not suitable for long-term dating.<\/p>\n

If for the same reason detect behavioral patterns that display a sense of entitlement, you already have learned that you should never consider seriously dating this person.\u00a0 Come to think of it, you shouldn’t form any serious relationship with this person, be it in business or personal.<\/p>\n

Now, you could take it to the extreme, date this type, even get married to her, become the most miserable man in your county, and suffer through a rough divorce that has you more bitter than the citizens of Cleveland towards Lebron James.<\/p>\n

Or you could just realize what you were dealing with and not take them seriously.\u00a0 Same thing applies to men.<\/span> If you\u2019re a girl talking to some guy whose speech reeks of \u201cMe, me, me, I, I, I,\u201d<\/em><\/strong> then you\u2019ve just saved yourself the trouble of going on a few dates.<\/p>\n

You already know the dude is a self-absorbed prick. You just weeded out someone who was going to be a huge waste of your time.<\/p>\n

A sense of entitlement driven by a compulsion towards self-absorption in an extremely toxic personality trait.\u00a0\u00a0 On the polar opposite, you’ll also find people who are willing to contribute in whatever they can.<\/p>\n

The hours you spend with a value-taker are wasted time that you could HAVE BEEN spending with someone with a sense of contribution creating a situation where both of you enjoy each other.<\/p>\n

It was time you could have spend with someone enjoyable and a time you could have cherished looking back. \u00a0 \u00a0 Once you internalize that, you’ll be in far better shape.<\/p>\n

Cameron<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Value Taker\u00a0 – A sense of entitlement . Continuing in this series of toxic personality traits, we come to the examine the value taker.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 This is a trait exhibited by…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[193,20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2325","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general-dating-advice","category-human-social-psychology-and-behavior"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2325","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2325"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2325\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2330,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2325\/revisions\/2330"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2325"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2325"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2325"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}