{"id":2342,"date":"2010-10-03T23:16:08","date_gmt":"2010-10-04T06:16:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/?p=2342"},"modified":"2011-01-13T17:28:49","modified_gmt":"2011-01-14T00:28:49","slug":"the-solely-external-validation-seeker-part-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/2010\/10\/03\/the-solely-external-validation-seeker-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"The Solely External Validation Seeker, Part 2!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Toxic Personalities in Human Relationships<\/span><\/h2>\n

.<\/p>\n

In Part 1 of the Solely External Validation-Seeker<\/a>, I talked about individuals who possess this personality trait.\u00a0 It\u2019s a toxic trait that will eventually destroy your relationship with that person if you\u2019re someone who has deeper aspects to his\/her personality.<\/p>\n

If you deal with certain segments of society, then naturally you\u2019re going to experience more of such encounters.\u00a0 Sometimes, this is just the byproduct of too much time spent in the nightclub scene.\u00a0 Can\u2019t tell you how often I\u2019ve heard, \u201cWomen are just shallow whores\u201d or \u201cMen are selfish assholes.\u201d<\/p>\n

The problem is a great percentage of the people you run into at nightclub type of venues in big cities are the externally validated, empty people. The danger in that is that it skews your perception of the opposite sex.\u00a0 Men will start thinking women are shallow, superficial bitches, and women will think men are shallow, selfish assholes.<\/p>\n

They’re both right given the circumstances which they have chosen to evaluate people.<\/p>\n

To be fair, some cities such as New York are a bit different as they seem to have a lot of bars and pubs where people hang out to socialize.\u00a0 They are not necessarily your average \u201cParty\u201d Crowd.\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0Los Angeles, on the other hand, doesn\u2019t really offer that alternative.\u00a0 (Which is unfortunate.)<\/p>\n

Someday, most of these people will get married for various reasons.\u00a0 For some, it’ll be economical, and others just cultural.\u00a0 A great deal of them will go through bitter divorces involving grief and scummy lawyers, but that was self-evident long before the words “I do” were ever exchanged.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019ve come across men who were multi-millionaires with forever sworn enemies named, \u201cmy Ex-wife.\u201d<\/p>\n

Part of the goal of this series on toxic-personas is to provide clarity and provide keys on recognizing toxic traits within people.<\/p>\n

Facebook provided a good example that everyone can relate to these days. \u00a0Everyone seems to be on there.\u00a0 Even people\u2019s pets have profile pages now!<\/p>\n

You\u2019ll observe that people of similar ilk display the same behavior patterns.\u00a0 You\u2019ll come to recognize those behavior patterns quickly with the power from a little observation and common sense.<\/p>\n

Case and point: You’re talking to some individual at a party and she mentions how much she loves going to rehab. (No, not for substance abuse.\u00a0 That’d mean she is actually trying to better her life). \u00a0This is a different type of \u201cRehab.\u201d<\/p>\n

So, what is Rehab?<\/p>\n

Well, let’s put it this way: If we lived in the Star Trek era, (say another 300 years into the future), and the United Federation of Planets gathered up all of the biggest douchebags in the galaxy from various planets and put them all at a weekend afternoon pool party in Las Vegas, you’d have rehab.<\/p>\n

It’s the newest greatest craze in Las Vegas.\u00a0 Gigantic pool parties with booze flowing that are essentially night clubs during the day time.<\/p>\n

Business wise, it’s brilliant!\u00a0 Dating wise, it’s a disaster.<\/p>\n

I’ve never been to rehab (pool party or the drug addiction kind), but I’ve talked to enough rehab frequenters to know the type of individuals going to this.\u00a0 I am sure some people go for fun, but there is a good majority who go repeatedly and often!\u00a0 They\u2019re the “rehab types.”<\/p>\n

.<\/p>\n

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"Rehab" Pool Party<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\n

.<\/p>\n

So what’s the point of this rehab discussion?\u00a0 Here is a no-nonsense practical application<\/em>:<\/p>\n

You’re at a house party, (or some social gathering), talking to a random girl and she tells you how much she enjoys going to rehab in Vegas OFTEN. Right then, you can deduce quite a few things from that simple admission.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. She sleeps around often and indiscriminately.\u00a0 (Looking for quick lay?\u00a0 This is your chick!)<\/li>\n
  2. She often gets drunk and makes out with guys, but cannot later even explain why she made out with some guy she has no interest in.<\/li>\n
  3. Most likely, she will not make a suitable partner if you’re looking to have a serious relationship.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Let’s give it fair balance, however.\u00a0 This is not one sided by any means.\u00a0 What if you’re a female reading this and can recall conversations with dudes telling you they love rehab that much?\u00a0 I mean, what if you’re one of my female friends asking me what I think of some dude you just met at a party?<\/p>\n

    \u201cHe mentioned he can’t wait till the summer to go to rehab in Vegas every few weeks and this dude is past his mid 20s?\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s overwhelmingly clear, my Dear Watson: He is a Douchebag!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

    .<\/p>\n

    ——————————–<\/p>\n

    .<\/p>\n

    Stories of Rehab :\u00a0 Meet Gino!<\/p>\n

    I hang out with Gino 2 or 3 times every fiscal year.\u00a0 You\u2019d like Gino too.\u00a0 He\u2019s fun to hang with, and likes to joke around.\u00a0 He is also quick to tell me about his latest exploits and he doesn\u2019t even know I write a Dating-Blog!\u00a0 Come to think of it, he is the first person who introduced me to \u201cRehab.\u201d\u00a0 He keeps telling me how I should go.<\/p>\n

    As you might have guessed by now, Gino just \u00a0hit \u201cRehab\u201d a few times this past summer but he learned a new trick up his sleeve this time around.\u00a0 He keeps hitting himself in the head as to why he didn\u2019t start doing this trick years ago: You can trade cocaine for sex.<\/p>\n

    In a recent rehab adventure, Gino received a blow job in the toilet when he offered a girl some blow upon meeting her at the pool.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 You should really see the exuberance Gino\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

    I wasn\u2019t there when Thomas Edison finally got that first light bulb to work and change the course of human history forever, but I\u2019d like to think it was a grin as big and proud<\/em><\/strong> as Gino\u2019s!\u00a0 Yes, ladies and gentleman, you could use cocaine to lure chicks.\u00a0 (Unlike most dating advice online by gurus, this trick does work!)<\/p>\n

    Is it right or wrong? It is ethical? Is it cool?\u00a0 Well, that all depends whose perspective you look at it from.<\/p>\n

    I suppose if you\u2019re the guy receiving the blowjob, you think it\u2019s right!\u00a0 I mean, if you\u2019re Gino, desperately seeking a blow job from a random female, then giving up a few grams of cocaine to receive oral sex is \u201cFair Trade.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 You get a blowjob, she gets to snort coke, and the dealer you bought from may invest the money in something legit so it may even help the US economy in these desperate times.<\/p>\n

    Then again, if you\u2019re the guy back in town who is actually dating the girl who is blowing Gino in a Vegas bathroom, you may think of it as a raw deal.\u00a0 \u00a0Upon her return home, you\u2019d give her a hello-kiss, and be prepped to get a taste of Gino to go along with\u2026.<\/p>\n

    If you\u2019re the father of the girl who is now blowing Gino in exchange for snorting cocaine, you probably feel like a failure as a parent. \u00a0\u00a0Whether you were abusive, or neglecting , it\u2019s irrelevant now.\u00a0 It\u2019s official: Beyond any reasonable doubt, you failed miserably as a parent.<\/p>\n

    If you\u2019re the guy reading this blog right at this moment, you gotta decide which side of the friggin\u2019 fence you are on.\u00a0\u00a0 Which guy do you want to be?\u00a0\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to be any of them.<\/p>\n

    \n

    .<\/p>\n

    \"\"
    Whooops<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

    .<\/p>\n

    .<\/p>\n

    So let\u2019s bring this thing full circle from where we started: The Exclusively-externally validated stimulus junkie personality trait.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

    People\u2019s actions speak louder than words.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know how old that clich\u00e9 is, but it\u2019ll never become obsolete because it\u2019ll always remain accurate.<\/p>\n

    Are all \u201cRehab\u201d party goers of Gino\u2019s and miss coke-whore\u2019s ilk?\u00a0\u00a0 Nope.\u00a0 Not every single person obviously.\u00a0 However, repeated patterns of behavior display the motivational factors in a person\u2019s psyche.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 If the repeated behavior exemplifies that of the examples in this article and the last, then you can be certain the writing is on the wall.<\/p>\n

    It\u2019s inevitable that there will be problems with your friendships & relationships with the aforementioned type of individuals if you share a different set of values than they do.\u00a0 It\u2019s as inevitable as you right now throwing your shoe up in the air and observing gravity bringing it back down.<\/p>\n

    As you\u2019ve probably figured out by now, this is not about sex.\u00a0 It\u2019s about what values people hold close to their chest.\u00a0 So when I meet a Mr. \u201cI try to go to Rehab 10 times every summer,<\/em>\u201d I intuitively have a strong gut reaction as to whom I dealing with.<\/p>\n

    So what do you know about that particular dude?<\/p>\n

    A.\u00a0 Very likely that this guy will try to sleep with the girl you’re dating.\u00a0 He may not succeed but he will try.<\/p>\n

    B.\u00a0 He’ll party with you, but will ditch you to upgrade his situation.<\/p>\n

    C.\u00a0 If you had a minor infraction (too many parking tickets?) that landed you in the county jail and you had to be bailed out on a Friday afternoon or else spend the weekend there \u2018til Monday morning, well, if you were relying on Rehab dude to post bail and he had a 15% chance of getting a blowjob from a coke-whore, you better start befriending the biggest mother-effer in that jail because you\u2019re spending the weekend.<\/p>\n

    (Note, not speaking from experience on that last one! It\u2019s speculation on my part.)<\/p>\n

    Is it malicious or evil? Not at all.\u00a0 It’s just the way they are.\u00a0 Do you blame a stray dog running around for suddenly biting you?\u00a0 Do you get mad at it and take it personal?\u00a0 You might, but you also realize that the stray animal is just that.\u00a0 It may bite you.<\/p>\n

    Same story with the solely-external-stimulus driven rehab junkie. He\/she acts the way that comes from seeking that external stimulus that is \u00a0consistent with someone void of character.\u00a0 Should you pursue a close relationship\/(Dating\/friendship\/whatever) with that individual, you’re going to pay the price.<\/p>\n

    This is unless, of course, you\u2019re a fellow person of the same ilk.\u00a0 In that case, you\u2019ll get along really well.<\/p>\n

    Choose Wisely.<\/p>\n

    Cameron<\/p>\n

    Building Attraction Secrets Ebook<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Toxic Personalities in Human Relationships . In Part 1 of the Solely External Validation-Seeker, I talked about individuals who possess this personality trait.\u00a0 It\u2019s a toxic trait that will eventually…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[193,20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2342","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general-dating-advice","category-human-social-psychology-and-behavior"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2342","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2342"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2342\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2353,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2342\/revisions\/2353"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2342"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2342"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2342"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}