{"id":2475,"date":"2011-02-02T09:00:17","date_gmt":"2011-02-02T16:00:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/?p=2475"},"modified":"2011-01-30T20:38:23","modified_gmt":"2011-01-31T03:38:23","slug":"how-to-develop-your-presence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/2011\/02\/02\/how-to-develop-your-presence\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Develop Your Presence"},"content":{"rendered":"

Developing Presence, Determination,\u00a0 & Grit through Focus<\/span><\/h2>\n

.<\/p>\n

Question from Steve:<\/p>\n

Hi Cameron<\/p>\n

I really enjoy your articles and posts on your website- unlike most everyone else is the “industry” you write very well, without a lot of hype, hooks buzzwords and catchwords, you are the most common sense straightforward “normal behavior” guy I have come across.<\/p>\n

I have a question (suggestion perhaps for one of your articles)- in the movie “The Professional”\u00a0 (Natalie Portman\/Jean Reno) Gary Oldman plays Stansfield, a psycho DEA agent.\u00a0 His character has this incredible screen presence and power over everyone he comes into contact with, like he can just totally dominate anyone or any situation no matter how charged.\u00a0 It seems to me like Stansfield knows he has this power and is aware when he uses it.<\/p>\n

Could you explain what this is, where it comes from, and how does a man develop this for himself (to use in a positive way)?<\/p>\n

Regards,<\/p>\n

Steve<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

———-<\/p>\n

Hey Steve,<\/p>\n

Thanks for the good words<\/p>\n

It\u2019s been a few years since I\u2019ve seen “The Professional”, but I do remember the character played by Gary Oldman.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Stansfield<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

.<\/p>\n

Much of The \u201cStansfield\u201d character \u2018s influence comes through physical intimidation.\u00a0 It\u2019s not something that\u2019s applicable.\u00a0 Ever seen Joe Pesci in Goodfellas or Casino?\u00a0 Why he is character influential?\u00a0 Because he intimidates them with physical harm.\u00a0 I wish there was something fantastical or spiritual about it, but there really isn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

Now, a person can possess a certain charisma that influence those around him.\u00a0 I wrote an extensive article on that.\u00a0 You can read it here: How to develop Charisma<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Clearly that is different than intimidating physical harm.\u00a0 Now, the type of presence of power you\u2019re seeking\u00a0 comes from Strength.\u00a0 Well, I wrote an article on that as well:<\/p>\n

What is Strength? How do you develop it?<\/a><\/p>\n

(I get to boast here: Isn\u2019t this blog awesome?? It actually ties together.)<\/p>\n

If you combine the information contained in those two articles, you have your answer.\u00a0 But to review a few things without rewriting the entire articles again, I\u2019d say, to have that sort of power:<\/p>\n

You need inner strength which stems from having a strong identity<\/strong> and strong beliefs.\u00a0 More so, you ought to have a sense of purpose<\/strong> that is usually well defined through tangible and measurable goals.<\/p>\n

So let\u2019s here is an analogy and role-play with me for a minute.\u00a0 Humor me please:<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s say you\u2019re in Los Angeles and someone told you if you were able to make it to San Francisco within 14 hours, and not a minute late, you\u2019d get a suitcase filled with a 2 million dollars cash. (Tax free.\u00a0 They cleared it with the IRS apparently.)<\/p>\n

Now given that it\u2019s a 6 to 7 hour drive without traffic, you have plenty of time to make it there, even if you hit a couple of bumps on the road.\u00a0 Got all that?<\/p>\n

Now you have a tangible goal and a sense of purpose.\u00a0 You are focused on the task, and can\u2019t allow for distractions.\u00a0\u00a0 You won\u2019t allow distractions because you can\u2019t afford to.\u00a0 How would your behavior be different?<\/p>\n

Think about the details of it.\u00a0 This is important.\u00a0 In those instances, your behavior would be somewhat representative of the character you mentioned in your question.<\/p>\n

As an example, let\u2019s say someone you know, a friend of a friend, requires 30 minute of your time to tell you about his latest greatest “Multi-level marketing” venture.\u00a0 You know the pyramid schemes, where you gotta find 5 victims to sell something to, and then they each have to find 5 other dickheads and pretty soon, you\u2019ll all be rolling in the money.<\/p>\n

(Yes, I\u2019ve been duped into going to these meetings where they tied to convince me what a grand opportunity I\u2019d been presented.)<\/p>\n

But the question is: How do you deal with that dude knowing you can\u2019t be a minute late to SF to get that briefcase.<\/p>\n

Here is the kicker:<\/p>\n

Many\u00a0 people you and I casually know wouldn\u2019t make it during that 14-hour window.\u00a0 I Know that sounds weird, but I firmly believe this.\u00a0 It\u2019s a seemingly simple task.\u00a0 Get in the friggin\u2019 car and start driving.\u00a0 How hard can that be? If you need to borrow a car, do so.\u00a0 Ditch work, or quit if you have to.<\/p>\n

Simple, isn’t it?<\/p>\n

But lack of car or having to work won\u2019t be the reasons people don\u2019t make it.\u00a0 It\u2019ll be a myriad of excuses that would boggle the mind and I\u2019d be wasting my time sitting here trying to think of them.<\/p>\n

Now, you may say it\u2019s unrealistic to have that laser focus every single day,.<\/p>\n

What you can have are big goals, and smaller goals on the way to achieving the bigger ones.<\/p>\n

This doesn\u2019t have to do with specific dating tactics, but your question regarding presence.<\/p>\n

By the way, this answer seems so easy, and it is when you look at it from the right context.\u00a0 Implementation of it takes time, and has to be accomplished gradually in steps.\u00a0 One weekend at any seminar will not do it, I don\u2019t care whose seminar, Tony Robbins, guru zorcna, or whoever.<\/p>\n

That brings me to another aspect of self-help.\u00a0 There is only so much advice you can take.\u00a0 In the scenario I presented above,\u00a0 would you spend 2 hours first reading some Eckhart Tolle before you started driving SF? Seriously, would ya?<\/p>\n

You probably arrange for reliable transportation, (1972 Ford Pinto is out),\u00a0 get a stack of maps, and a GPS system to top it off, maybe pick the brains of a few pals who have made the trip before and then hit the road.<\/p>\n

There is a lesson to be learned there:<\/p>\n

Get the info you need to start, and hit the road.\u00a0 Start doing it.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

.<\/p>\n

So many times we get lost in the bullshit. \u00a0Distractions come from all sorts of angles and you waste time, seemingly unconcerned, indifferent, and lackadaisical. \u00a0If you could somewhat focus on where you’re going, then imagine the possibilities of discoveries along the way. \u00a0And on the way there, you just might develop the passion and presence of Stansfield-character you sought.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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