{"id":2498,"date":"2011-02-07T00:17:25","date_gmt":"2011-02-07T07:17:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/?p=2498"},"modified":"2011-03-02T13:21:38","modified_gmt":"2011-03-02T20:21:38","slug":"just-how-do-women-tell-if-youre-confident-or-nervous","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/2011\/02\/07\/just-how-do-women-tell-if-youre-confident-or-nervous\/","title":{"rendered":"Just How Do Women Tell If You&#8217;re Confident or Nervous?"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><span style=\"font-weight: normal;\">How Do Women Gauge Your Confidence??<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>.<\/p>\n<p>One of the issues I enjoy discussing, one which sets this blog apart from its rivals, is the transition between the internal and the external.\u00a0 I\u2019ve dubbed it the Innergame-Outergame bridge.\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s understanding how you feel about yourself internally exudes and manifests itself externally<\/p>\n<p>This is key to recognizing how you come across right now and how you may come across with more confidence.<\/p>\n<p>When you interact with women in general, most of them will be able to quickly decipher how confident you are with women.\u00a0 Most guys are oblivious of this because most men get caught in macho bravado of \u201cbig talk.\u201d\u00a0 Everyone can talk a big game but then, and it\u2019s easy to get lost in stories of people, but then there is a time for action.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s no different than sports.\u00a0 You\u2019ve met guys in your life who will brag how good they are at playing basketball, or that they have a black belt in some form of karate.\u00a0 Well, put them on a basketball court or on the mat, and it\u2019s a different story.<\/p>\n<p>So let\u2019s take a casual and nonthreatening environment such as a house party.\u00a0 It\u2019s a good mix crowd of people and has a decent number of attractive women as well.<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019re socializing with various folk, and you\u2019re talking to\u00a0 various girls.\u00a0 How will they know? How do they distinguish if you&#8217;re confident or not?<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>One of the biggest factors in determining confidence is your level of\u00a0<span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><strong><em>comfort<\/em><\/strong>.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>They discern confidence usually from comfort. \u00a0So here are some indicators of comfort that are constantly signaling your level of confidence at every given moment.<\/p>\n<p>.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Body language:<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>OK, I spend an entire article on this one alone. Do you stand up tall, move with ease? Or are nervous, fidgety, twitching, shifting back and forth while slouched?\u00a0 In my ebook, there is a partial chapter dedicated to this along with photographs. You may want to get a copy of it.<\/p>\n<p>.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Eye contact:<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>while engaged in conversation, are you able to engage in eye contact in a relaxed manner? Not looking away, nor staring with that dear in the headlights gaze.<\/p>\n<p>.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Proximity-<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>This is huge, and now that I\u2019ve mentioned it, you\u2019ll start perhaps noticing it too.\u00a0 Take a look around at the next party.\u00a0 Guys who are comfortable with women have no issues with an attractive girl (or any girl) standing close to them.<\/p>\n<p>Scenario: You\u2019re in the kitchen chatting, and you observe two people, \u00a0a guy and a girl.\u00a0 Notice as that she gets closer, he becomes more uncomfortable.\u00a0 Suddenly their shoulders\u00a0 are 10 inches apart (25 centimeters) and his behavior changes.\u00a0 He may back up, he may become herky-jerky, more excited, but it will change somehow.\u00a0 You will pick up the vibe that he is becoming less uncomfortable as she is inching closer.<\/p>\n<p>The confident dude who is comfortable will maintain same relax posture he had if she were across the room.\u00a0 Women can sense this.<\/p>\n<p>.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Smile:<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Smiling in a friendly casual manner is also an indicator. \u00a0It need not be an ear to ear grin with all of your veneers out on display. \u00a0It could even be a smirk. \u00a0Smiling is an important element. In and of itself, it may not be a clear factor but combined with the various elements I&#8217;ve described thus far, it can definitely sway the vote.<\/p>\n<p>.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Touch:<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Another huge giveaway.\u00a0\u00a0 Guys who are not comfortable with women are not comfortable with <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">touching<\/span> them.\u00a0 (not talking about groping or ass grabbing here).\u00a0 It can be hand on hand, hand on her back, or something simple as a putting your hand on her triceps muscles.<\/p>\n<p>Ever watch those old Michael Jackson videos? \u00a0Yes, they\u2019re fantastic music videos, and at the same time, the biggest tell-tale signs that a grown man who is perhaps the most famous man in the planet, is supremely uncomfortable with the touch of a woman.\u00a0 Granted, he was an extreme case, and he couldn\u2019t fake it in his own videos, but that\u2019s fodder for another article.<\/p>\n<p>Needless to say, being comfortable with casual touching can determine how experienced &amp; confident a guy is with girls.<\/p>\n<p>.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Voice tone:<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Not often mentioned, but it\u2019s also huge. For our purposes, we\u2019ll put this in 3 categories:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Uncomfortable,<\/li>\n<li>Casual,<\/li>\n<li>Flirtatious.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>\u00a0Uncomfortable can vary from nervous\/shaky to mild discomfort.\u00a0\u00a0 Casual is the same tone you\u2019d have with pals, and coworkers.\u00a0 You\u2019d have this tone in work situations or professional environments.\u00a0 Flirtatious is taking the next step up.\u00a0 It\u2019s more <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">playful<\/span>, teasing, and it changes as the context of the environment changes.<\/p>\n<p>Some people (and those who teach dating advic) are under the misconception that you must speak with a deep Dracula trance-inducing deep voice at all times.\u00a0 These are usually creepy nlp guys who have no friends.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0Voice tone changes as does the relationship.\u00a0 Let\u2019s go to the same house party that we started with and revisit the guy and girl in the kitchen.\u00a0 In the beginning voice tone is more teasing, playful, and for lack of a better word (cute), where as later on during a quite conversation by the fireplace, it\u2019s deeper, richer and more soothing.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0Let&#8217;s say you&#8217;re a guy who is naturally good at attracting women, and for some inexplicable reason you ended up on my blog reading this article. You may think that this is really breaking down the obvious, or perhaps it&#8217;s really over-analyzing it.\u00a0 Rest assured,\u00a0these are things you already DO naturally.\u00a0 Think about it and you&#8217;ll notice your\u00a0 own patterns.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8211;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">.<\/p>\n<h3 style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\">What Confident Behavior Looks Like<\/span><\/h3>\n<p>.<\/p>\n<p>For lack of a better word, we can call the above list &#8220;Symptoms&#8221; of Confidence. \u00a0They&#8217;re basically like radar-signatures that we are all transmitting at any given time.<\/p>\n<p>This seems like a whole lot to remember, but if you\u2019re trying to remember all of this s hit, you\u2019re not doing yourself a favor. I only mention these so that you are MILDLY \u00a0aware of them.\u00a0 Then let it go.\u00a0 These things happen naturally.\u00a0 My aim is to just introduce some of these variances to you if you are someone who struggles a bit in the dating arena.<\/p>\n<p>A guy who is good at engaging women will\u00a0 create fun banter while another guy will discuss some topic (like the occupation they both happen to share) and discuss it endlessly until there is nothing to be said.\u00a0 I\u2019ve witnessed this more times than I care to remember.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve seen it at gatherings where an acquaintance who likes a girl is talking to her about some common interest (let\u2019s say it\u2019s about fitness, and all I hear is \u201cyea, I do this and that.\u00a0 You run? Cool, what kind of running?\u00a0 I started doing this run and then I went to that\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p>There is nothing wrong with a little bit of this, but over a 10 minute span, that is ALL they\u2019ve talked about, and I know that my buddy likes this girl, and I am going crazy in mind wanting to scream at him \u201c<em>Get off this fucking topic!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Here is the miscue: He is thinking, <em>\u201coh, cool, I\u2019m exploring a common interest.<\/em>\u201d<br \/>\nShe is thinking: <em>OK, random conversation about running and fitness. Seems cool.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Yet there is no playful banter, no real idea of learning something personal about the other person, or any sort of connection being established.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Anyhow, that was a complete tangent on the conversational topics.\u00a0 It\u2019s not the primary focus of this article.\u00a0 IF you\u2019re interested in conversational skills\/topics, get a copy of my ebook, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.attractwomenanywhere.com\/ebook.shtml\" target=\"_blank\">Building Attraction Secrets.<\/a> (yes, it really is THAT good! I wrote it, I should know)<\/p>\n<p>.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Back to signs of comfort:<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Body language, proximity, voice tone, and touch (or reaction to touch), and a smile determine how comfortable a guy around a woman.\u00a0 This comfort communicates subconsciously how confident he is with women.<\/p>\n<p>So two questions:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Do you have to a confident\/suave type?<\/li>\n<li>How can you use this information?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>I\u2019ll answer the two above questions to clear any misconceptions.<\/p>\n<p>1. \u00a0Do you have to be a suave\/player type?<\/p>\n<p>No!\u00a0 Most guys are not, and they\u2019re able to get dates\/girlfriends and such.\u00a0 It\u2019s not necessary to be mr. super smooth and every once in a great while, it may be even work against you.\u00a0 Sometimes a girl who is looking for a boyfriend will write you off when you\u2019re super-smooth because in the back of her mind, she\u2019ll reason: \u201c<em>Man, that guy is too smooth. Player, looking for a piece of ass.<\/em>\u201d\u00a0 (and most of the time, she is right on that one.)<\/p>\n<p>How can you use this information?\u00a0 Well, you can use it as a yard-stick\u00a0 or a barometer to gauge and ascertain where you need to make improvements on.<\/p>\n<p>Almost exactly, two years ago, I wrote an article about pushing your comfort zone versus being comfortable which I still get emails about to this day. You can read that here:<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/2009\/02\/12\/being-comfortable-vs-pushing-your-comfort-zone-oyyy-what-to-do\/\" target=\"_blank\">Pushing Your Comfort Zone VS. Being Comfortable. \u00a0What to do!<\/a><\/p>\n<p>.<\/p>\n<p>Determine your major sticking points and work on them.\u00a0 As you work to gain more confidence internally, you can have a few goals externally.\u00a0 Keep them extremely simple: For example, if you\u2019re nervous in touching women, you can make that a priority for yourself.\u00a0 What if a woman you just met puts her hands on you?\u00a0 Are you comfortable with that?\u00a0 Are you comfortable putting your hand on her shoulder for about\u00a0 two seconds?<\/p>\n<p>Having read this article, you now are more aware of some of your sticking points which serve as areas of improvement. \u00a0I&#8217;ll reitterate: the point of this article is not to have a check list to remember the next time you&#8217;re at a party. \u00a0Pick where you want to push your comfort zone.<\/p>\n<p>If from a level of 1 to 10 (and 10 being the most comfortable), you&#8217;re at level 3 in touching women, then work on being on level 4. \u00a0When comfy with that, push to level 5 and so forth.<\/p>\n<p>This ensures long term success which comes gradually and progressively as opposed to overnight gimmicks you&#8217;re being sold everyday.<\/p>\n<p>Cameron<\/p>\n<p>PS. Remember these articles are meant to be used as a resource with my Ebook: \u00a0<strong><a href=\"http:\/\/www.attractwomenanywhere.com\/ebook.shtml\" target=\"_blank\">Building Attraction Secrets.<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How Do Women Gauge Your Confidence?? . One of the issues I enjoy discussing, one which sets this blog apart from its rivals, is the transition between the internal and&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2498","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-in-field-advice","category-self-confidence"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2498","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2498"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2498\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2515,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2498\/revisions\/2515"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2498"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2498"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2498"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}