{"id":468,"date":"2009-03-16T19:44:19","date_gmt":"2009-03-17T02:44:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/?p=468"},"modified":"2011-01-03T19:36:07","modified_gmt":"2011-01-04T02:36:07","slug":"angels-devils-serpents-existentialism-at-porn-%e2%80%9cstar%e2%80%9d-karaoke","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/2009\/03\/16\/angels-devils-serpents-existentialism-at-porn-%e2%80%9cstar%e2%80%9d-karaoke\/","title":{"rendered":"Angels, Devils, Serpents & Existentialism at PORN \u201cSTAR\u201d Karaoke!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Angels, Devils, Serpents & Existentialism at PORN “STAR” Karaoke!<\/span><\/h2>\n

.<\/p>\n

(The following story took place about 1 year ago.\u00a0 At the time, I wrote the outline of the story but had no blog to post it on.\u00a0 It’s not implicating the entire scene; it’s just a reflection of the people I met that particular night.)<\/p>\n

Johnny Soporno is in town, and he sends out an invite to an event entitled “Porn Star” Karaoke. \u00a0 (To paint you a picture: Imagine a heavy set man, wearing a Hawaiian shirt with giant devil horns who likes to condescend you often.) It’s a Tue-night event at some karaoke joint where apparently there are quite a few porn stars in attendance.\u00a0 It seems like it might be a fun event so a few of us decide to go.<\/p>\n

While we are on the topic of porn “Stars”, we ought to ask pertinent questions.\u00a0 How the hell is it that every single person who has spread her legs in front of a video camera is referred to as a porn “Star”?\u00a0 Certainly, there are a few who have gained fame in pop-culture and a case could be made that they are porn “Stars.”\u00a0 The rest should be called porn actresses, but then, they can’t act worth a damn. They should be called “Paid Porn Participants<\/span>” and they ought to be happy with that title.<\/p>\n

You don’t see that in normal movies.\u00a0 You don’t see some guy who was in “Braveheart” for 3 seconds before getting slashed by William Wallace referring to himself as a Movie-Star.\u00a0 You don’t see him at parties showing his scene, yelling out: “Yeah, wait, wait, wait, my scene is almost there, wait, PAUSE IT, Pause it!\u00a0 Shit, you went too far!\u00a0\u00a0 Rewind, rewind, slow down!\u00a0 Right there!\u00a0 That’s me! About to get stabbed! Movie Star, baby!”<\/p>\n

I’d bet you that even the long-haired Asian bad guy with the fu man chu from “Die Hard<\/span>” would not refer to himself as a movie-star. He was also the same guy who tortured Mel Gibson’s Martin Riggs character via electrocution in the original “Lethal Weapon<\/span>“.\u00a0 Even THAT guy would probably not call himself a “Star” and he is featured in two of the most famous, well-received, popular, beloved action movies of all time.\u00a0\u00a0 Just for my awesome readership, I found a photo of the fu man chu man:<\/p>\n

\"\"
Bad guy from "Die Hard" & "Lethal Weapon"<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

OK, let’s not get side-tracked.\u00a0 Back to “Paid Porn Participant” [ppp] karaoke:<\/p>\n

So I arrive at this place with Jay and Rey, the blokes known as Formhandle and Tokyopua.\u00a0 Johnny has been kind enough to invite us, but then, that feeling of kindness seems to get flushed down the toilet when you see that he invited anyone and everyone he could get a hold of through text messaging who also happens to live anywhere near Los Angeles.<\/p>\n

So the place is now ransacked with “The locust” (A separate post coming up on the who the locust are)\u00a0 and some Asian\u00a0pick-up teacher\u00a0named Johnny who walks around with a permanent Zoolander contourtion on his face in order to look cool. (Johnny Chang, we’ll call him).\u00a0 There are various people running around and a black\u00a0guy by the bar looks familiar.\u00a0 Oh wow, it’s the dude who plays “Carlton” on the “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.”\u00a0 What’s he doing here?<\/p>\n

Johnny is having some sort of a celebration and has a little section all to himself.\u00a0 I join the group, chat with a few people, and the guys seem like pretty cool dudes.\u00a0 I get to hear an insider’s tale of the porn business.\u00a0 It’s rather intriguing.<\/p>\n

WOW!\u00a0 It turns out that hidden behind the glitz & glamour of “Ass to Mouth<\/span>” and “Double Penetration<\/span>,” exists an ugly business.\u00a0 It’s difficult to find work, and even difficult to maintain a living.\u00a0 With a plethora of people looking to make quick cash, it has become increasingly more difficult for the PPPs to make money at XXX.<\/p>\n

I meet one of the girls who is in the supposed VIP area.\u00a0 We start chatting.<\/p>\n

The conversation is going nowhere.\u00a0 It’s difficult to maintain conversations.\u00a0 I typically enjoy conversational dialogue that is fun banter between two humanoids.\u00a0 Very tough to do when 1 person just has nothing to say or add.<\/p>\n

These are the type of women routine-stacks were developed for!\u00a0 It’s not that she is being mean or rude. She just has nothing to say, nothing to add.\u00a0 I see why Johnny gets along with so many of these women.\u00a0 He has a polished Routine-Stack (though he doesn’t see it that way), and he talks about 97.5% of the time looking to dominate every social interaction.\u00a0 (This\u00a0usually starts off by him trying to push\u00a0his ideas of\u00a0“Fallacious Reasoning” for the first 25 minutes.)\u00a0He expects the other 2.5% of the conversation to be filled with short comments such as, “Yes, I understand, you’re so right”\u00a0and “You’re fascinating.”\u00a0 \u00a0Talking AT\u00a0people as though they’re cardboard boxes doesn’t really appeal to me. Still, I find myself at odds.<\/p>\n

I am talking to her, but there is no place to sit.\u00a0 She seems friendly enough.\u00a0 I put my hand out, she grabs it, I pull her up and as she stands, I sit in her place and have her sit on my lap. Excellent.\u00a0 Now, I have a place to sit.<\/p>\n

I begin slightly massaging her shoulder and she is enjoying it.\u00a0 This avoids having to have much dialogue.\u00a0 She looks about 22, slim, wearing a pair of tight shorts that are cut very high, Daisy-Duke style.\u00a0 She is in town for a couple of weeks shooting some scenes and may stay longer if she can find more work.\u00a0 That’s all up in the air and she isn’t sure if she can land more gigs.\u00a0 She seems like a genuinely nice person lost in the midst of all this mayhem.<\/p>\n

Johnny Soporno sees this, and in his effort to assist, he pulls out a pair of black gloves.<\/p>\n

“Here, put these on!”\u00a0 He says as he smiles and hisses.<\/p>\n

I don’t know what it is, but Johnny Soporno has a weird habit where he hisses like a snake when he smiles, and it’s very….alarming.\u00a0 It’s a good thing he is not a salesman because the hiss sounds like a salesman salivating indicating, \u2018I am about to fuck you over.”\u00a0 He doesn’t do it on purpose, to my knowledge, but that doesn’t lessen the effect of feeling like\u00a0being struck by a serpent.<\/p>\n

“What, are we kidnapping someone, or robbing the joint?”\u00a0 I ask as I take the gloves.<\/p>\n

“Trust me.\u00a0 Would I give you something that’s not useful?” Johnny says.\u00a0 I don’t have time for that debate so I put on the gloves.\u00a0 He instructs that I should turn them on. On each fingertip of the glove, there is a tiny vibrating plate.\u00a0 Essentially, your five fingers are now 5 tiny vibrators.<\/p>\n

Johnny hisses with a laughter indicating he is pleased.\u00a0 “Women love that toy.”\u00a0 Again, I don’t have time to argue that I don’t like vibrators.\u00a0 Plus, I know that he and Steve P. have gone back and forth on this issue.\u00a0 It’s usually Steve P. yelling at him that many women who have trouble having orgasms through organic intercourse can to a great extent thank their vibrators for it, and Johnny in return tries to argue how great they are.\u00a0\u00a0 That he doesn’t give a shit, is rather obvious.<\/p>\n

I resume massage of the PPP girl.\u00a0 She is enjoying the shoulder-back massage, and work my way down the sides of her torso.\u00a0 Johnny pulls out a giant vibrator that is cordless and applies it directly to a girl’s crutch.<\/p>\n

–This guy is the Batman of vibrators!!!!!!!!!<\/p>\n

–“Holy Dildos, Batman!\u00a0 Why he must have a monopoly on all the vibrators of Gotham.”<\/p>\n

It’s like he has the same Batman utility-belt just filled with vibrators. Seemingly, he is just wearing a Hawaiian shirt, but he pulls out one vibrator after another from various places that are hidden to the eye.\u00a0\u00a0 Apparently, this other vibrator is called a “Magic wand.”\u00a0 This is the new cordless model.\u00a0 He talks about it as if the invention of this rivals that of the Hubble Telescope.\u00a0 Like the fucking pinnacle of humanity’s achievement that’ll be discussed centuries from now:\u00a0 “Wow, professor: Lasik eye surgery, NASA Space station and of course, the Magic wand vibrator.”<\/p>\n

I start massaging the girl’s inner thighs.\u00a0 Fuck, this feels awkward.\u00a0 Normal women don’t operate this way, even in a nightclub.\u00a0 This is a surreal world of women who are desensitized to being touched anywhere, anytime so long as its by approved people in the food chain.<\/p>\n

The feeling of uneasiness comes from the fact that the person sitting on my lap resembles more of a living doll than a person.\u00a0 She is receptive, she goes along with everything, but has nothing to say.\u00a0 It’s like a living human doll.\u00a0 It makes it awkward.\u00a0 Johnny would reframe it as me having issues with sexuality.\u00a0 In the meanwhile, I thought we ended slavery.\u00a0 If liking women who have brains and can engage in\u00a0stimulating\u00a0conversation is having seuxal-issues; Then so be it.<\/p>\n

I start massaging her crutch just over her Daisy Duke styles shorts.\u00a0 She starts breathing heavy, panting and slightly moaning.\u00a0 Again, it feels a bit weird.\u00a0 In some ways, it feels like I am rubbing a doll, except it’s human and has a heartbeat.\u00a0 It doesn’t reciprocate in any way shape or form.\u00a0 It just reacts to the stimulus but gives nothing back.\u00a0 It gives nothing back.<\/p>\n

I think about taking her outta this environment, back to my place.\u00a0 She has no car, and really, I don’t want to have to give a ride in the morning back to the fucking valley.\u00a0 The 405 north traffic is brutal in the mornings and a hike from the South Bay to the Valley would be atrocious.\u00a0 Yet, her body is hot and her tight camel-toe sporting shorts make me want to bend her over.\u00a0 I just don’t want to talk to her.\u00a0 I know it’s terrible of me to say that….. Better yet, maybe I should just take her to the bathroom.\u00a0\u00a0 I continue the massage.<\/p>\n

She starts to breathe heavier, while gyrating back and forth and I have an erection.\u00a0 Pull to the bathroom, but my car in the parking lot would be better.\u00a0 It’s difficult for me to come from oral sex, it takes focus.\u00a0 And the last thing I need is douchebags poorly singing a karaoke version of Garth Brooks on the mic as I am trying to concentrate on the blowjob.<\/p>\n

Suddenly, a debate starts raging in my head<\/span>.\u00a0 I am having a crisis.\u00a0 Given the environment, the Batman utility belt of vibrators and the human doll with a heartbeat, I am weirded out and am having an Existential moment.<\/span><\/strong> One that says, “What the fuck are you doing here?”<\/p>\n

It’s like the movies, where there is a “Good Cameron” and an evil one on each shoulder, each giving me instructions.\u00a0 I have the Good Cameron on my left shoulder and evil Cameron on the Right; And evil-Cameron is not really evil. He is just unabashed and likes to have fun.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Good Cameron:
\nDude, what are you doing?
\nYou don’t even like this\u00a0girl that much.
\nYou like nothing about her.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\n

Evil Cameron:
\nWho gives a fuck?
\nTake her to the bathroom, pal,
\nHave her blow you, get it done,
\nDrive home relaxed!<\/p>\n

Good Cameron:
\nYou’re doing this for your ego.
\nYou realize that, right?\u00a0 You don’t really like this
\ngirl, and you can’t stand talking to her.
\nNot to mention you already know the sex under
\nthe circumstances will be awful.<\/p>\n

Evil Cameron:
\nIt’s a matter of simple biology.
\nYou’re a man, you are horny and
\nnow you’re turned on,
\nShe is willing, and she looks good.
\nWhat else do you want?
\nIt’s a matter of physics.
\nPenis goes in Vagina.
\nThis is the way of the Universe.<\/p>\n

Good Cameron:
\nYou’re doing this just
\nso you can tell your pals at some point that
\nyou fucked a pornstar.\u00a0 She ain’t even a “Star.”
\nShe got paid some money
\nto have sex with some dude while a video camera
\njust happened to be present.
\nShe is a “porn participant.”
\nBut you wanna brag about it, anyway.
\nYou have no other incentive.\u00a0 It’s just plain ego.<\/p>\n

Evil Cameron:
\nLook man, the world is a rough place.
\nI understand that.\u00a0 It always has been, buddy.
\nIt always probably will be.
\nIt’s rough out there pal.
\nShe sucks dick for a living.
\nSo what?\u00a0\u00a0 Who are you to judge, huh?
\nWho made you judge, and jury?
\nGet your dick sucked and move on.
\nYou’re not dating the broad.
\nYou don’t even have to talk to her ever again!
\nPlus, this will probably be good for her.
\nThis is what she does for a living,
\nso it’d be like practice for her.
\nMaybe with your help, she’ll get a
\ncouple of extra jobs out of it.
\nSo, you are helping her with her career!
\nBless you<\/span> for that!<\/p>\n

(Evil Cameron is fucking clever.)<\/p>\n

Good Cameron:
\nYou do this, and you’re full of shit.
\nYou’re a fucking hypocrite.\u00a0 Don’t you go online
\nand\u00a0encourage guys to\u00a0lessen their egos,
\nfind\u00a0some inner-peace, let go of their
\nscarcity mentality and find harmony\u00a0& abundance.
\nYou want to feed your ego a little,
\ndo something worthwhile:
\nbuild an empire like Apple or Microsoft.
\nChange the world.
\nBragging to your friends about fucking an
\nAlleged pornstar is ego-driven petty garbage.
\nYou know that.\u00a0 You do this, and
\nyou’re just doing it for your ego,
\nyou PRICK!\u00a0 You fucking asshole.<\/p>\n

(Angel Cameron is crass, crude, and filthy.
\nHe is an extension of me, after all.)<\/p>\n

Damn it.\u00a0 I am starting to lose my hard-on.\u00a0 Angel Cameron is making valid points.\u00a0 I look over and Soporno is looking at me, he actually winks at me, and then he hisses.<\/p>\n

“Hissssssssssssssss”<\/p>\n

Evil Cameron:
\nDude, this place is fucked up.
\nI admit it.\u00a0\u00a0 OK?\u00a0 I admit it!\u00a0 I confess.
\nYou don’t think I get it?\u00a0 I DO!
\nHey, we all know it’s disgusting.
\nJust fuck the chick and go home.
\nYou are a man!\u00a0 This is what men do!
\nIsn’t that what evolution states?
\nIsn’t that the stuff that prick DD
\nKeeps reading out of various books?
\nYou don’t have to like the place.
\nEvolution has programmed you to do\u00a0 this.
\nOn top of that, this is NOT the fucking time
\nTo have an existential moment.
\nTake her to the bathroom,
\nGet a blowjob, then leave.<\/p>\n

(Evil Cameron sounds almost reasonable and understanding.\u00a0 I’ve only had 1 beer, and would need about 4 or 5 more, before his reasoning seems legit)<\/p>\n

Good Cameron
\n(screaming in full Pacino voice now):
\nI am going to leave you with one last thought
\nand after this, you do whatever the fuck you want.
\nI am done\u00a0 with it.
\nLook over there!\u00a0 Look!<\/strong>
\nSee that\u00a0fat guy fondling and groping random
\nwomen who are dumb, desperate, and destitute?
\nSee him? LOOK AT HIM!<\/strong>
\nDamn it!\u00a0 Look at him!
\nStrive to be better than he.
\n[Wow, angel Cameron even has perfect grammar!]
\nYou get a random blowjob under
\nThe unpleasant circumstances just to brag about
\nit and you’re not better than everyone else here.
\nDo what’s right!\u00a0 You know you’re better than that.
\nYou’re better than that.<\/p>\n

YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT!!!<\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n

Good Cameron is inspirational.\u00a0 He sounds like Al Pacino giving those passionate speeches, like the one at the end of “Scent of a Woman<\/span>” or the locker room speech at the end of “Any Given Sunday<\/span>.”\u00a0 There is no denying him.\u00a0 His inspiration is far too powerful. He is undeniable, irrefutable, and indisputable.<\/p>\n

Fuck!\u00a0 My hard-on has completely subsided.\u00a0 Really, this was NOT the time to have an Existential-moment!\u00a0\u00a0 In fact, my cock has so far gone the other way, I think has gone inwards.\u00a0 I may need to yank it back out.\u00a0 Along with my hard-on is my desire to have sex or even be in this place.\u00a0 It’s not that sex with someone who does porn is wrong.\u00a0 It’s fine.\u00a0 I have no issues with that.\u00a0 Porn was a good savior during my teenage years.\u00a0 The reasons for it under these circumstances are wrong.\u00a0 A hissing serpent pressing vibrators against the panties of any woman within arms reach seems wrong.\u00a0\u00a0 People acting like subordinate slaves out of economic destitution seems wrong.<\/p>\n

I look around.<\/p>\n

This place is like hell.<\/p>\n

It’s fucking hell.\u00a0 Wait, what the fuck???<\/p>\n

Hell is supposed to be a place where AC-DC is rocking on Stage as Bon Scott and Brian Johnson take turns on the mic, Where you drink cocktails with Frank Zappa, discuss music,\u00a0life,\u00a0and world history with<\/strong> Billy Joel<\/strong>, talk about religion and oppression with<\/strong> John Lennon and Bob Dylan,<\/strong> who all then do a spontaneous riff on piano and acoustic guitars…..all in the meanwhile as you exchange occasional intellectual witty remarks and quips with<\/strong> George Carlin.<\/strong><\/p>\n

That’s what it’s supposed to be like.<\/p>\n

Instead we have a guy hissing like a snake while pulling out vibrating gadgets out of various orifices, chicks with more plastic parts than a mattell Barbie but lesser ability to converse, and Johnny Chang running around carrying a permanent weird contortion of his lips, which he believes makes him looks cool; while poor Carlton is still empty handed.\u00a0 What the fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<\/p>\n

This isn’t even hell.\u00a0 It’s a nightmare.\u00a0 A nightmare that’d even make Freddy Kruger plead and sob, “Please, get me outta here!”<\/p>\n

I can’t take it anymore.\u00a0 Luckily, I have the choice to get the fuck out.\u00a0 Things are looking good: I got a car, half a tank of gas, and I am sober.\u00a0\u00a0 I get up, I walk out, and leave it behind.\u00a0 Gotta drive a half hour drive to get home,\u00a0 Chalk up a victory for Good Cameron.\u00a0 His passion was too great, and his inspiration too undeniable.\u00a0 He won this round.<\/p>\n

Ahhhh, things are looking up, got my ipod with over 2000 Rock And Roll Songs spanning over 4 decades to keep me company on the drive home…..\u00a0 Let the Serpents and dolls have at it.\u00a0 I am moving on…..<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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