\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0Let’s be honest: Bars are a waste of time.\u00a0 Once you’re past 25 years of age, and you’re still often frequenting bars and clubs, you are wasting your time.\u00a0 I write this with the presupposition that you’re an ambitious person, and if you read my blog, you probably are.\u00a0 I still go to bars too often, even if it’s just ONCE per week, it’s still too much, I believe.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0There is the inherent problem.\u00a0 It’s a matter of conditioning, knowing where the bounty is.\u00a0 If you’re a pirate, you hit certain parts of the Ocean to take your loot; If you’re a religious organization, you prey on people’s desperation and naivet\u00e9, and if you’re a guy looking for a gathering of women in abundance you hit the bars.<\/p>\n
\u00a0On the one hand, you deal with a population that comprises of 80% scumbags, all gender inclusive, especially if they’re over the age of 25.\u00a0 Scumbag is a strong word for it.\u00a0 I have a lot of acquaintances in the South Bay who hit the bars all the time, and they’re not bad people.\u00a0 They’re just retired frat boys as I’ve alluded to before on this blog.\u00a0 They’re some of the “Good people” of the bar.\u00a0 On the other hand, that’s where the sexy dressed women are.\u00a0 It’s what my buddy Jon calls the battle of brain versus penis, and in my opinion, depending on how much testosterone you have as individual male, the battle becomes very one sided.<\/p>\n
\u00a0It’s similar to the line in “Dog Day Afternoon.”\u00a0 Upon being asked, “Why are you doing this,”\u00a0 Al Pacino’s character, Sonny, who is robbing a bank replies with a thick Brooklyn accent: “Why?\u00a0 Because they got money here.”\u00a0 (Seriously, if you haven’t seen “Dog Day Afternoon,” you need to get a copy and watch is ASAP. Great movie.\u00a0 Make it a date night.)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0That dynamic applies to bars and clubs.\u00a0 “They got pussy here” is what Sonny would have said. The dynamic is further compounded by the fact that I can go to any bar anywhere, and pretty much talk to anyone I want, and I actually do that.\u00a0 Sometimes it goes well and sometimes not so great, but I don’t have issues approaching and striking conversations with strangers.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0Most people in bars are onlookers.\u00a0 90% of men stand around and stare wishing they could to women.\u00a0 They stare, they hover around in close proximity, and even some guys who are good reply on getting pretty wasted on alcohol before they start accosting the women.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0Yet, it doesn’t change the fact that it’s a waste of time to go so often.\u00a0 A buddy of mine, (a now retired dating coach) used to argue that bars are just for social people who are extraverted.\u00a0 Well, perhaps, but using that logic, you can conclude that it’s a place for people who enjoy paying 6 to 7 dollars for a beer.\u00a0 (If you’re reading this in Iowa, yes, that’s how much a beer costs in LA or NY.)<\/p>\n
\u00a0There are social instances where it’s an occasion to go to see your pals.\u00a0 You could go to a bar to see a basketball\/football game on TV while having a few brews, and you may go to shoot pool and relax.\u00a0 The chief goal of why guys go to nightclubs is to meet girls.\u00a0 Let’s not mask that.\u00a0 The primary reason why women go is not to get laid, although some are open to possibility.\u00a0 Despite that paradox, it’s the place where alcohol mixes with bimbos and douchebags and the results sometimes produce something possibly even worse than Bill O’Reilly.<\/p>\n
\u00a0Back in the Project Hollywood days, I used to go quite often. We all did.\u00a0 That was 2004.\u00a0 We didn’t even drink much.\u00a0 It was some weird sport almost.\u00a0 These days, (last few years included) I go once a weekend, (sometimes twice).\u00a0 Though I may skip a weekend here or there, it’s pretty consistent.\u00a0 Now, like anything else, it has become conditioned<\/span><\/strong>.\u00a0 The weekend rolls around and you start making plans where to go.\u00a0 It’s Fri or Sat night and you\u00a0 feel like you should be out somewhere.<\/p>\n \u00a0I had this conversation with Stephen Nash when he was out here visiting.\u00a0 He and I used to be “Wingmen” quite often back in the old Project Hollywood days, and we did pretty well for ourselves.\u00a0 Stephen is also a naturally extraverted guy who is social and into the performing arts, so we can relate to each other well.\u00a0 He issued a challenge and said, “What if you didn’t go to bars anymore for 2 months?\u00a0 Just as an experiment to see what’d happen.\u00a0 What have you got to lose?”\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n He has a good point and part of me wanted to argue with him, but I knew that he was right.\u00a0\u00a0I\u00a0am\u00a0going to guess that for\u00a0a lot of\u00a0guys reading the blog, there is a reaction of “What’s the big\u00a0f**king deal?”\u00a0 For a lot of guys staying home is actually easier than going out to\u00a0a\u00a0night spot.\u00a0 For me, it’s the opposite.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u00a0So, I am taking 2 months off.\u00a0 I’ll go out with friends but not to bars.\u00a0 Only exception may be a birthday party but my close friends don’t have birthday parties at bars. \u00a0The only other exception is if someone actually manages to somehow talk me into coaching him “In-field” which is something I don’t do much anymore, and something I don’t even like doing.\u00a0 \u00a0<\/p>\n \u00a0Coaching is part of the problem.\u00a0 That’s how a major part of \u00a0this began:\u00a0 When you do live “In-field” coaching, part of you feels like you should be out there keeping your cold-approach skills sharp.\u00a0 That’s another contributing factor.\u00a0\u00a0 In an industry filled with charlatans and liars, the pressure even mounts on more.\u00a0 You feel like you’re one of the few honest people who needs to carry the burden.<\/p>\n \u00a0I’ve met everything from guys who are just unsocial but savvy marketers, to the socially weird, to creepy, to those who have no friends, to those who leverage their position in the porn industry, to those whose primary source of sex is paying for it!\u00a0 I’ve met them all. \u00a0\u00a0And hey, I am not judgmental on hiring hookers, but you really shouldn’t be giving dating advice if that’s your method.\u00a0\u00a0 That’s like a guy giving you advice on how to be a successful farmer, and he only gets all his fruits and vegetables at the local giant supermarket chain.\u00a0 Something’s amiss.<\/p>\n \u00a0So, that’s how it sort of all started and now it has become habit.\u00a0 Like anything else in life, you do it long enough, and it becomes part of your daily\/weekly routine.\u00a0 It’s an important key factor to recognize!\u00a0 You can condition yourself with new habits constantly.\u00a0 It’s the first few weeks that tough.\u00a0 Be it going to the gym, be it doing a certain activity, whatever…<\/p>\n \u00a0So now I’ve started to implement a new habit.\u00a0 For the months of April and May, no bars or clubs on Weekends. (And obviously, I don’t go on weeknights anyway.)\u00a0\u00a0 Everything else is acceptable.\u00a0 House parties are allowed.\u00a0 Dates are OK. Movies are fine, and heck if I have to sit home and read a book, watch a Lakers game or type out a Blog post on a Friday night, that’s fine too.\u00a0 Just no Bars or clubs of any kind.\u00a0 This is not particularly easy for an extrovert who would rather socialize with random people than just “Chill out” alone at home.<\/p>\n \u00a0Last night was the first test.\u00a0 Friday afternoon, a buddy of mine called up and said he was going to some place in Orange County (which I rarely venture to.)\u00a0 He had a “Hook up” at some place where he knew the promoters and could get us in easy.\u00a0 “It’s supposed to be great, etc, etc..”\u00a0<\/p>\n \u00a0Didn’t go.\u00a0 Don’t plan to either.\u00a0 The decision has been made.\u00a0\u00a0 60 days, no bars, and I’ve extended that to places that bar people would hang out.\u00a0 So no hanging out for too long a period at a house party where there are a plethora of people that you’d see at the bar any other night…\u00a0 \u00a0(who many times end up leaving the house party to go to the bars around midnight anyway.)\u00a0<\/p>\n \u00a0Let’s see how this experiment turns out…….\u00a0 Stay tuned.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u00a0 \u00a0Let’s be honest: Bars are a waste of time.\u00a0 Once you’re past 25 years of age, and you’re still often frequenting bars and clubs, you are wasting your time.\u00a0…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,12],"tags":[129],"class_list":["post-579","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-observations","category-stories","tag-bars-and-clubs"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/579","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=579"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/579\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":824,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/579\/revisions\/824"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=579"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=579"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=579"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}