{"id":671,"date":"2009-04-20T15:46:05","date_gmt":"2009-04-20T22:46:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/?p=671"},"modified":"2011-01-03T19:13:08","modified_gmt":"2011-01-04T02:13:08","slug":"emotion-logic-flaking-mixed-with-a-cup-of-zen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/2009\/04\/20\/emotion-logic-flaking-mixed-with-a-cup-of-zen\/","title":{"rendered":"Emotion, Logic, Flaking, Mixed with a cup of Zen."},"content":{"rendered":"

Emotions, logic, and why Women Flake<\/span><\/h2>\n

.<\/p>\n

Do you understand women? \u00a0It seems that men always claim that they don’t understand women.\u00a0 Some women claim they don’t get men. \u00a0I was no different. \u00a0I wouldn’t be so arrogant to say I “Understand” women, but I understand them much more now than when I first started all of this stuff.\u00a0 (And still, it may not be all of that much.)<\/p>\n

I decided to take a bit of time and focus on trying to understand them more.\u00a0 Is it a good idea for most people to do this?\u00a0 Probably not. \u00a0It wasn’t even for “Dating” purposes, per se. \u00a0I’ve always been fascinated with human behavior so it only made sense for me to try and grasp various patterns.<\/p>\n

The old axiom is that men are logical and women are emotional.\u00a0 While this has become clich\u00e9 in our culture, it’s not entirely true. Obviously men can react emotionally and women can make logical decisions as well.\u00a0 The differences are more profound in actions and results, I find.\u00a0 I find that as guys, we want reasons.\u00a0 We crave reasons.\u00a0 Why, why, why?\u00a0 We want to know. \u00a0It’s even further fueled by the fact that most of the men who seek dating advice on the Internet are intellectuals to begin with. \u00a0An intellectual has an even stronger need for reasons as to why things are.<\/p>\n

Again, it’s not that women don’t question reasons.\u00a0 It’s that on the everyday common stuff, they’re not as concerned.\u00a0 To understand it, you have to shift your thinking a bit.\u00a0 Actually, you have to eliminate over thinking and tap into emotions.<\/p>\n

Let me illustrate through a real life example:<\/p>\n

A few weeks ago, I met a girl at a local restaurant during her lunch break.\u00a0 I started talking to her and we had a nice 5-minute conversation.\u00a0 I could tell she was attracted to me, and I am pretty sure she could tell I was attracted to her.\u00a0 I’ve interacted with enough girls to usually know pretty quickly when they’re into me, and when they’re not.<\/p>\n

She [call her “Jen”] is new to LA (always preferred), moved here from the East coast and works around the corner from where live.\u00a0 Had I been alone, I may have offered to have lunch together, but as it stood, she had to go back to work and I had to join my friend.<\/p>\n

I got her number so that we could reconnect later.\u00a0 I sent her a text about an hour later, something pertained to the place we were at, and we had a nice exchange.\u00a0 Pleasantries and smiley faces were exchanged….\u00a0\u00a0 Then what happened?<\/p>\n

I got busy with a bunch of stuff.\u00a0 I had a seminar coming up, personal situations, and couldn’t really talk to her \u2018til about at least a week later. \u00a0A week passed by and things settled down. \u00a0As you might imagine, it was then difficult to get a hold of her to get her out at that point.\u00a0 We even had 1 phone conversation but the dynamics had changed far too much than when we had first met. \u00a0Back then, she was excited about getting together. \u00a0Now, she wasn’t so keen on the idea.<\/p>\n

“Wait, why are you telling us about this? \u00a0It didn’t go anywhere. \u00a0Why even mention it?”<\/p>\n

Why? \u00a0Because it’s important to note with which perspective do you look at it.<\/p>\n

–Average Male Perspective:\u00a0 WTF?\u00a0 She was so into me!\u00a0 The interaction was good, she was into me, and now I can’t get her to meet me.\u00a0 Why is she flaking?\u00a0 That pisses me off.<\/p>\n

–Angry male perspective: Women are bitches, they lie. That’s just the way it is.<\/p>\n

–The insecure male perspective:\u00a0 Women are devious and manipulative.\u00a0 She was just using me to get validation for herself.\u00a0 (This could very well be a “Dating-guru” in the community)<\/p>\n

–The Female perspective in this case (most likely):\u00a0 Cool guy.\u00a0 I liked him.\u00a0 Don’t know him that well.\u00a0 Seems like he’d be fun to hang out with.\u00a0 I don’t really feel like meeting him.<\/p>\n

NOTICE THE LAST SENTENCE:<\/p>\n

“I Don’t really FEEL<\/span><\/strong> like meeting him.”<\/p>\n

In most cases, women are not sitting there THINKING about the reasons why.\u00a0 They are just going by their feelings.\u00a0\u00a0 Here is an analogy to help you understand: Let’s say you had a teacher in the 9th<\/sup> grade whom you thought very highly of.\u00a0 Perhaps you even considered him\/her a major influence in your life.<\/p>\n

Years later, someone tells you he knows this teacher and can put you in touch with Mr\/Mrs. Smith.\u00a0 In fact, your buddy says he just spoke to that teacher and Mr. Smith remembers you.\u00a0 He’d love to hear from you.<\/p>\n

They hand you a phone and say, “Here, dial these numbers and you can chat with him\/her.”<\/strong><\/p>\n

What’s your reaction?\u00a0 (Assuming you didn’t have a close relationship.)<\/p>\n

“Man, I don’t FEEL like talking to Mr. or Mrs. Smith.\u00a0 I don’t know what to say.\u00a0 I don’t want to talk him\/her.\u00a0 I don’t feel comfortable.”<\/p>\n

Are you starting to see the correlation?\u00a0 You don’t analyze why don’t want to do it.\u00a0 You just know that you don’t FEEL<\/strong> like doing it.\u00a0 That’s all. \u00a0It’s like if you asked the average American to speak with a policeman outside. \u00a0“There are no problems, everything is cool, but the Cop wants to chat with you.” \u00a0There it is again, “Man, I don’t feel like to talking to a cop.” \u00a0 If you happen to be super analytical, let go of the analogy of the cop to yourself. \u00a0We are only interested in correlating feelings at this point.<\/p>\n

Back to “Jen” and my 5-minute conversation with her.\u00a0 What would have been my reaction 5 years ago?\u00a0 “Hmmm, what happened?\u00a0 Where did it go wrong?\u00a0 I should have done this, I could have done that, or maybe I ought to have…….”<\/p>\n

What’s my take on it NOW?<\/p>\n

We both liked each other, but she probably also doesn’t feel COMFORTABLE meeting me after a 5 minute conversation.\u00a0 It doesn’t make her bad, or evil.\u00a0 It doesn’t make her a bitch or a flake.\u00a0 It doesn’t make me any less, and it doesn’t mean that I need to “improve my game.”\u00a0 I still think she is a cool person.\u00a0 Just a random stranger, I had a 5-minute conversation with.\u00a0 That’s all. \u00a0 (Not to mention, there could be a variety of reasons of things that occurred during the time period, that are unbeknownst to me.)<\/p>\n

Here is the funny thing, however:<\/p>\n

I can almost guarantee you that if you ran this story by various seduction gurus, they’d all have tips for you on the mistakes that were made. Tell them you have a “Friend” that had this experience I just mentioned, relay the story, then sit back and see all the countless plethora of strategies they’ll throw at you. \u00a0I know this because I am all too well familiar with all of the various seduction styles and systems out there.\u00a0 In fact, I CAN TELL you already what their responses would be:<\/p>\n