{"id":940,"date":"2009-06-03T01:09:28","date_gmt":"2009-06-03T08:09:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/?p=940"},"modified":"2011-01-03T18:39:57","modified_gmt":"2011-01-04T01:39:57","slug":"dating-advice-polarity-how-it-affects-you-part-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/2009\/06\/03\/dating-advice-polarity-how-it-affects-you-part-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Dating Advice Polarity & How It Affects You! (Part 1)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Seduction Community Positive Points<\/span><\/h2>\n

.<\/p>\n

Dating Advice Polarity (Part 1)<\/p>\n

I got an email the other day from Blog reader named “Joe” asking me about the seduction community.\u00a0 Why do I warn people against getting sucked into doctrine and yet have photos of me with people such as “Mystery?”\u00a0 Well, actually, I’ll let you read it for yourself.<\/p>\n

Why do you purport to dismiss (and criticize)\u00a0most of the “doctrine” and methods\u00a0taught by the PUA community including Neil Strauss, Mystery and so on\u00a0BUT\u00a0have their pictures on your website along with mentioning their names and your past affilation with them?\u00a0 I read your history so maybe\u00a0I kinda get it.\u00a0 Maybe you’re still kinda friends with some of them?\u00a0 \u00a0I just\u00a0worry that I can’t trust you or your content.\u00a0.\u00a0 BTW, I\u00a0hate to mention that or\u00a0sound harsh\u00a0since I’ve really enjoyed your intelligently-written blog articles\u00a0–\u00a0along with\u00a0your sincerity and open honesty.\u00a0 I\u00a0hope that you truly are different and\u00a0“better”\u00a0but when I see all that other stuff, I get concerned.\u00a0\u00a0 Can you explain that for me?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Inquiring minds want to know….. And if one person is taking the time writing lengthy emails me about it, then there are probably many more wondering the same thing.\u00a0 There are probably people reading this right now, who have the same thoughts.\u00a0 So let’s get to it:<\/p>\n

There are two reasons that pertain to this issue.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. It’s part of my story.\u00a0 It’s what happened and it is what it is.\u00a0 (Btw, the Bio page is here: http:\/\/www.attractwomenanywhere.com\/history.shtml<\/a> )\u00a0 I’ve done things that, in retrospect, were not very cool.\u00a0 I’ve done the peacocking.\u00a0 I’ve worn the weird looking Eddie Munster boots.\u00a0 I am not proud of it, but nevertheless, it was all part of the journey.\u00a0 I’ve learned the various systems, and I’ve spent a lot of time in person with the who’s who of the original gurus.\u00a0 I’ve learned a lot.\u00a0 I’ve made my fair share of mistakes.\u00a0 I’ve seen the lifestyle.\u00a0 I also know who is legit and who\u00a0is full of shit.<\/li>\n
  2. I strongly believe that before you can criticize something, you must understand that model or concept.<\/span> Even if you’re watching a basketball game, and you’re critical of the way the Los Angeles Lakers are playing, you have to first posses a deep understanding of the game of basketball, why the Lakers play the way they do, and how they can improve what they’re doing.\u00a0\u00a0 On a bigger scale, if you’re going to criticize a faction of organized religion, you ought to be familiar with the details of what they’re preaching.\u00a0 It adds credibility.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    So observing that last concept, I am normally adamant about letting people know that there is NOT a single school of thought that I have not experimented with.\u00a0 Of the original gurus of the seduction community, there is NOT one individual that I have not spent extensive time with personally discussing his models\/systems\/beliefs.\u00a0 In fact, I am trying to think of one exception at this very moment……. Ummmm,\u00a0 can’t off the top of my head.\u00a0 (Btw, I am excluding the arrival of “Johnny come lately” & charlatans in to the scene.)<\/p>\n

    You want to talk Mystery Method?\u00a0 I’ve actually taught it back in the Project Hollywood days.\u00a0 Wanna discuss merits of Cocky\/funny? \u00a0 I did volunteer work for David DeAngelo when I started and I had a full time corporate job at the time.\u00a0 How about doing direct\/indirect\/indifference\/this, that and the other?\u00a0\u00a0 Have studied it, done it, tested it.\u00a0 I’ve spent countless hours with the original advocate of the system you want to discuss.\u00a0 I can tell you if the system even works for the guy who is advocating it!\u00a0 (But that’s topic of another day….)<\/p>\n

    Is it something I’d like to brag about?\u00a0 Well, look at it this way.\u00a0 Outside of my close friends, people I hang out with don’t even know I do this for a living.\u00a0 Am I a little cocky about the quality of advice I provide in my alter-ego world?\u00a0 Yeah, probably.<\/p>\n

    However, you’re going to get the best information that has real world application\u00a0and you’ll be entertained at the same time.\u00a0 You’ll get the straight dish with no bullshit.\u00a0 I am not going to sugar coat things,\u00a0just as\u00a0I am not going to make up bullshit customer testimonials\/questions that you’ve seen from Dating\u00a0“Gurus” and online marketers.<\/p>\n

    Any other questions?<\/p>\n

    ————————————-<\/p>\n


    \n<\/span><\/p>\n

    Useful Parts of the Seduction Community <\/span><\/h2>\n

    .<\/p>\n

    OK, now that this is out of the way, let’s talk about the polarizing opposites of dating advice.\u00a0 Occasionally, I stick my head in various “Self-help” forums just to get an idea of what sort of advice is out there and repeatedly, I am horrified.<\/p>\n

    There is the quiet guy who has this girl in his social circle, and she barely knows he exists.\u00a0 Sometimes she talks to him, sometimes she ignores him, while he is infatuated with her, and in his mind, there is some sort of a deep relationship going on, except no one is privy to it….. (well, besides him.)\u00a0 He wants to know how he can make her his girlfriend, and he wants to tell her that he can no longer be around her because it’s all too much.\u00a0 He can’t take the ups and downs of this [nonexistent] relationship anymore!\u00a0 Too much drama!!\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 He is thinking of telling her that this relationship is driving him crazy….\u00a0 Oh, what should he do?<\/p>\n

    Unqualified people who couldn’t find their assess with both hands are quick to encourage the young lad to profess his undying love and devotion to the unsuspecting stranger.\u00a0 (And There is no shortage of people on forums on the Internet who want to give advice on everything.)<\/p>\n

    In reality, it’s a good way for him to creep the fuck out of her.\u00a0 And we’re not talking unwanted Amway salesman at the door creepy.\u00a0 We’re talking the level of “The Hills have Eyes”\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 -being attacked by cannibalistic mutants-grade creepiness.<\/p>\n

    He’d ruin any chance he could have actually had in dating that girl at some point.\u00a0 There are a lot of things one can recover from, but creeping and horrifying women is a tough one.\u00a0 Telling a woman who barely knows you that “you’re constantly watching her and now you can’t deal with this relationship anymore” is a tiny bit frightening to the person.<\/p>\n

    On that same note, you have plenty of people who spent more time reading self-help books than they do anything else in life.\u00a0 If they had self-help books in the Ancient world, the great landmarks, the Pyramids, Gardens of Babylon, The Persian city of Persopolis would have never been built.<\/p>\n

    “Hey Jimmy, want to go and work on building something spectacular that will be
    \nrevered and coveted for 1000s of years to come?”<\/p>\n

    “Well, I’d like to, but got a full schedule today of productivity.\u00a0\u00a0 I am going to
    \nread some Deepak again, then listen to some Dyer again, and then watch
    \n“The Secret” two times in a row.\u00a0 Yep, it’s a full day for me!
    \nVery busy these days!”<\/p>\n

    And it’s not that I don’t see value in Self-help advice.\u00a0 I do.\u00a0 For crying out loud, I am in the business of giving dating-advice.\u00a0 It’s just that self-help advice should be combined with a clear plan of taking action.\u00a0 Like the great philosopher Rocky Balboa once said, “Keep Moving Forward.”<\/p>\n

    Instead, there is a lot of rhetoric about regarding “Coming from a Place of Abundance” and “Accepting who you are.”\u00a0 All great advice but to the beginner, it’s like speaking Chinese to a German person.\u00a0 A complete cluster fuck.<\/p>\n

    What’s your point, Cameron?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    See, this is where the seduction community does help<\/span> people.\u00a0 Back to the guy who was about to creep out the girl in his office or classroom.\u00a0 Now, he has something tangible he can do.\u00a0 Even an opinion opener that Mystery was teaching back in 2003 can help that guy get a conversation started. You can tell him,<\/p>\n

    “Hey, here is an opinion opener.\u00a0 Tell her that your friend and his girlfriend just broke up because of XYZ… (long distance relationship, whatever.)\u00a0 What do you think?\u00a0 Are long distance relationships doomed to fail?”<\/em> [By the way, I just made that up off the top of my head a minute ago.\u00a0 Feel free to use it.]<\/p>\n

    Is she going to be head over heels in love with him at this point?\u00a0 OK, let’s be real.\u00a0 However, that conversational opener (Bait) gave that guy who is awkward with women or socially uncomfortable something to talk about….\u00a0 It gives him a platform to operate on.\u00a0 More so, it provides some context to the interaction that’s not creepy or weird.\u00a0 It introduces normal conversational banter.<\/strong><\/p>\n

    <\/strong>It’s not a pick up line or a magical vehicle.\u00a0 It’s to enable someone who is shy or nervous to be able to start socializing and have some place to start.\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong><\/p>\n

    Now, that person has a point of reference from which he can move forward.<\/strong> Before that, he had no point of reference.\u00a0 None!\u00a0 Now, he has a starting point.\u00a0 Then he learns to be able to flirt, fix his demeanor, conversational skills, tease women, while gaining confidence and he starts experiencing more success.\u00a0 It all started with the ability to strike up a conversation with a person sitting next to him.<\/p>\n