{"id":955,"date":"2009-06-04T03:40:36","date_gmt":"2009-06-04T10:40:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/?p=955"},"modified":"2011-01-03T18:35:46","modified_gmt":"2011-01-04T01:35:46","slug":"dating-advice-polarity-how-it-affect-you-part-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/attractwomenanywhere.com\/blog\/2009\/06\/04\/dating-advice-polarity-how-it-affect-you-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Dating Advice Polarity & How it Affects you (Part 2)"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Dark Side of The Seduction Community<\/span><\/h2>\n

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The Dark Side!<\/p>\n

In the first part of this article, we talked about ways the seduction community can be helpful to a person.\u00a0 It provides a reference point and gives people a road to follow.\u00a0 It provides a path whereas before the person was driving blind.<\/p>\n

Giving men a starting point is great.\u00a0 It’s helpful!\u00a0 So then, what’s the problem?\u00a0 Problems arise when what started as a venture to enable you to become better in attracting women suddenly becomes a religion.<\/p>\n

It’s when someone has become so mechanical and robotic that everything in that person’s mind is a tactic or socially calculated move.\u00a0 What started as a frame of reference is now an obsession.\u00a0 The person no longer enjoys the interaction and camaraderie within a group of people, but he starts examining it like some neurotic mess.\u00a0 Instead of having fun, he is thinking, “Who has higher social value here?\u00a0 What DHV should I use?\u00a0 Was that a neg the person just used on me?\u00a0 No wait, it sound more like cocky\/funny.”<\/p>\n

Then it even gets more extreme and the Seduction Community robot becomes really easy to spot in any public setting.\u00a0 You may make, [what would appear to most people]\u00a0 to be an innocent request.\u00a0 You ask a guy politely, “Hey man, would you mind passing over that bottle of ketchup?”<\/p>\n

He is now caught in a whirlwind of strategic mess. He is like a cow caught in a Kansas Tornado spiraling down.\u00a0 His thoughts are scrambled:\u00a0 “He just asked me to do something.\u00a0 If I do it, I would not be Alpha.\u00a0 Alpha males don’t listen to people.\u00a0 They give orders.\u00a0 Passing over the Ketchup bottle would be a beta thing to do.\u00a0 Maybe I’ll spill the Ketchup and that will be a DHV<\/em>.”<\/p>\n

And all you did was politely ask for the Ketchup.<\/p>\n

That guy is now a complete mess.\u00a0 Everything is a tactic.\u00a0 He also assumes that of other people.\u00a0 “She just told me that her sister is sick. She has the swine flu.\u00a0\u00a0 What does this mean?\u00a0 Should I neg or DHV?\u00a0 Is this a test?\u00a0 Maybe she is testing to see if I am a real man.\u00a0 What would Mystery do? What would Neil Strauss do?”<\/em><\/p>\n

Sometimes, the answer is: Her sister is really sick, asshole.\u00a0 Get over it.\u00a0 It’s not a devious plot against you.<\/p>\n

If you are not entrenched in seduction community, then you may read this and think it’s a joke. Surely, I am exaggerating to make a point.\u00a0 The sad thing is that I am not.\u00a0 Chances are likely that you’re bound to come across someone who resembles what I described above.\u00a0 They’re in every town and village these days.<\/p>\n

When what started as an endeavor to enrich your life turns to an obsessive path of external validation through the approval of random women as well as sex addiction, you’ve ventured deep into the Dark side of the Seduction community.\u00a0 The adjectives that describe you can fall into a various range:\u00a0 Weird, insincere, mechanical, contrived, sex-addict, and more….<\/p>\n

You’re now so fucked, and you don’t even know it.<\/p>\n

This is when I have weird conversations with people that are creepy to the rest of the world.\u00a0 One of my acquaintance here in Los Angeles who is deeply entrenched in the seduction community turns to me and says, “You know, I find that if I refrain from masturbating, I have more motivation to go out and approach girls.\u00a0 It helps to push me to get out there more.”<\/em><\/p>\n

I reply:<\/p>\n

“Really?\u00a0 But you just told me you were already seeing a couple of girls, and you\u00a0have 3 dates\u00a0set\u00a0with girls\u00a0you met on various\u00a0online personals.”<\/p>\n

He tells me, “Yeah, but I still find that if I hold out on masturbating, I have more motivation to go sarging and approach even more girls<\/em>.”<\/p>\n

That’s like saying, I have a fridge full of food, but I am going to purposely starve myself, so I have more motivation to go food-shopping at the supermarket.<\/p>\n

This is when a person has completely crossed to the dark side.\u00a0 He now thinks of approaching women as something he “Must” do at all costs.\u00a0 It’s a sport.\u00a0 He cannot remember how he got into it, why he does it, or what his purpose is.<\/em> It’s just that he feels better about himself momentarily upon doing getting a few phone numbers, or “Laying a girl.”<\/strong><\/p>\n

Another guy I know, who even taught for a while, (who I no longer keep in touch with. btw) now cruises through Westwood where UCLA students hang out.\u00a0 3 to 4 hours a day, he trolls the streets and various venues seeking out Asian girls to bring to his apartment.\u00a0 (These are girls\u00a0referred to as “FOBs” or “Fresh Off the Boat” even by other Asians.)\u00a0 \u00a0Some days, he succeeds, and some days he does not.\u00a0 Yet, he is out there, walking the streets of Westwood every day seeking new blood, hunting down unsuspecting Asian women who speak broken down English.<\/p>\n

I’ve been down that road of being an approaching maniac. (Although I was never as fucked up as the guy who is Stalking the streets of Westwood as we speak!\u00a0 He is one of the worst cases I’ve ever seen.)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 When you’re in it, you can’t see that it’s just slightly a bit weird.\u00a0 When you step away from it, the picture becomes more clear.<\/p>\n

What’s the solution?\u00a0 Every person has to figure out his\/her own purpose and passions in life.\u00a0 Like I said in another blog entry: The seduction community is like Radiation.\u00a0 Sometimes it’s necessary to fix your ailment.\u00a0 Too much of it can destroy a person.<\/p>\n

Too much of this stuff is how you get men so obsessed and paranoid that they ask the farcical questions I mentioned recently in another blog post.\u00a0 Questions like:\u00a0\u00a0 Is it a test when she tells you her sister has cancer?\u00a0 This is when person has lost perspective of normal socialization and has become engulfed in seduction advice.<\/p>\n

—————————————————————-<\/p>\n

In conclusion, refer to the old saying, “Don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater.”\u00a0 The Seduction Community has many faults, which I point out repeatedly and often on this Blog.\u00a0 However, it’s also a good tool for providing a reference point.\u00a0 Too often I see outsiders bash the community with an even worse alternative.<\/p>\n

Seriously, you’re going to criticize an opinion opener, but provider an alternative that is plain fucking creepy such as “Seductive Reasoning?”\u00a0 At least, asking women for an opinion as to “Who lies more, men or women?” does not repulse, disgust and repel them away from you.<\/p>\n

The issues emerge, when what started as an attempt to become more attractive, becomes a full fledged religion.\u00a0 When your entire life revolves around discussing DHVs, Tests, Negs, higher\/lower value, you’re seriously screwed and you don’t even know it.<\/p>\n

What’s the solution?\u00a0 Take advice from coaches whose advice make sense to you.\u00a0 Too often I see men in their 30s and 40s taking bootcamps from some outfit that has hired a 22 year old kid to teach them how to live their life by having a nice routine stack and wearing peacock clothing.\u00a0 Well, I don’t actually “see” it often.\u00a0 I get emails afterwards, or hear the horror stories when I do a phone consult with a client.<\/p>\n

In the quest for dating mastery, it’s important to keep perspective.\u00a0 It’s essential to not lose common sense.\u00a0 Unfortunately,\u00a0 in the zeal for pickup artistry, too many men lose sight of what made them successful in the first place.<\/p>\n

Don’t jump from method to method.\u00a0 Find what jives with you and practice that.\u00a0 Be willing to apply yourself and remember your purpose.\u00a0 In this case, the purpose of why you even sought advice: To have more success in your dating life, not to become entangled in some modern day cultish lifestyle.<\/p>\n

A good teacher who knows what he is teaching has to understand where to start you off and give you that point of reference. <\/strong>Grandiose schemes won’t do it.\u00a0 Similarly, telling people to “Just accept the way you are and profess your love is not going to cut it.”\u00a0 Just as telling men to cruise through supermarkets asking, “Hey, how is the Tuna? What kind of a sandwich do you recommend” Is not going to really help the person much.\u00a0 Most of the guys who seek dating advice have already tried doing what I just mentioned and it hasn’t worked for them.<\/p>\n

That’s why they found their way to the “Seduction Community” in the first place!!!<\/p>\n

For this reason, the few dating teachers I do recommend are normally guys who have come up the ranks within the community.\u00a0 They are the guys who have a good understanding of attraction and dating, and can provide a good reference point.\u00a0 On the same note, they realize the negative aspects of it, especially since they have been through it themselves.<\/p>\n

On the same token, that person who is a competent teacher has to be able to provide you with the essentials that you need and not instill a religion or doctrine in your mind.\u00a0 If you ask him extensive questions about “Negs” and is “Reading a book a DHV?” and “If she says she has to put gas in her car, is she testing me?”….. He ought to be able to slap you sill across the face to wake you up.<\/p>\n