PUA Lifestyle

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Lots of guys come to the “Pick Up” scene to learn to be better with girls.  That’s fair. 

I think you have to commend anyone who takes steps to better himself.  It sucks standing in the corner when a woman you’re attracted to is within arm’s reach and you don’t know what to say. 

So you’ve immersed yourself in the “Pick up” scene, and chances are that you are now constantly bombarded with people advising you on how to build a “PUA Lifestyle.”  They even have youtube clips of themselves trying to demonstrate this envious lifestyle. 

Then you watch the clip and what you really see is:  Pretentious douchebag. 

I am going to put myself in YOUR POSITION:

Let’s see what you and I have learned from watching these wonderful lifestyle clips that are all over youtube now days:

  • Dress so queer it’d make Elton John cry out in shame,
  • Quit your day job, and make money by being a self-touted guru,
  • Find a house somewhere and place the word “Project” in front of it.  Project Boston, Project Amsterdam, Project Mars.

(It’s very important that you place the word “Project” in front of everything.  You don’t simply eat lunch anymore.  It’s project “Big Mac”, which leads to project indigestion, which leads to “project constipation.”)  Lately the project adjective has moved from just describing locations and cities.  It now defines themes too.  

  • Try to  mimic the story of “Project Hollywood’ in the book, “The Game” and try to pull party chicks back to your place, by pretending to be a producer/director/writer/wealthy entrepreneur, who lives a lavish lifestyle. 
  • Meanwhile it’s important that you maintain having no real normal friends.  Also make sure that don’t do any sort of fitness, or have any sort of discipline or responsibility in your life to anything or anyone. 
  • Talk about game incessantly.  It’s important that you think you’re cool even if the rest of the planet sees you as a total asshole.  This is project Alpha.

Does that about sum it up?

Wow, What a great lifestyle that is.  Only one phrase comes to mind, once again: Pretentious douche bag. 

The youtube clips do have their purpose.  They’re funny, even if unintentionally.  You can sit there with your pals and laugh for hours.  It’s almost better than watching any sitcom on TV.  While that’s entertaining for me sometimes, it does not help you. 

 

So how DO YOU BUILD A LIFESTYLE that is conducive in the real world?

  • What if you work an office job somewhere in Seattle, Washington?
  • What if you live a seemingly average life living in Wichita, Kansas?
  • Not everyone can pretend to be a Rock star.  Not every one wants to!!
  • What if you don’t want to pretend to be a rock star?
  • What if you actually are a successful businessman but have no interest in being a pretentious douchebag?

You have to work on 3 things to build a lifestyle that’s conducive:

  1. Increase your knowledge in this area.  Yes, that means learning how to attract women better and also improving your inner game/self confidence.  Both go hand in hand and you cannot just focus one and neglect the other. 
  2. Fix up your pad.  Your house does not have to look like you’re a movie star.  So forget about trying to get your jollies off by filming it to sell on a DVD to further expand your already over inflated ego.   For most guys, this means having a toilet that is not wearing a beard and a kitchen that does not have undiscovered organisms feeding off the built up mold on the dirty dishes on the sink.  If you’re going to clean your place, START with the your bedroom and the bathroom. 

Why these two?  Bedroom is typically where the “Physical Seduction” occurs and a filthy one is simply counterproductive.  A filthy bathroom is simply repulsive to women, (actually to all people in general.)  Next clean place of importance is the kitchen. 

Last place is the living room if you live in a house with roommates.  You could potentially get away with a less than idea living room, because you can blame your roommates.  “Ahh, those filthy bastards!!”  Then she gets to your room, and sees that it’s immaculate, she’ll be convinced that it really is your roommates, and you’re not the one responsible for the pigsty.  (And sometimes this is really the case!  I’ve used this excuse too!)

Living room situation gets tricky if you live alone.  You can’t blame roommates, friends or your dog.  It’s You.  Also consider that you if you’re doing the nightclub thing and trying to invite girls back for an after-party, the living room has to be clean.  In this latter scenario, the bedroom is actually of less importance.  The Living room takes precedence.

        3. Create a good social network.  You can expand your social circle regardless of your location.  Big city, small town, foreign country, foreign culture, it does not matter.  You can start expanding. 

    One quick way to do this is by starting to invite people to your place.  (You’ll definitely have to clean the living room for this one too.)  If you have a small yard, a patio, backyard, or even a small balcony, invest in a BBQ.  People LOVE BBQs, even fucking vegetarians! 

Invite a bunch of people for a bbq, be a good host.  In turn, they’ll invite you to their events, parties and such, and ALSO, it’s so much easier to meet women when they are COMING TO YOUR PARTY.  When you are the host, it automatically makes you more attractive. 

Like I said, this universally applicable, even if you live in a small Podunk town of 10,000 people.  If you are the successful businessman and you know more affluent people, step up the ante.

 Throw theme events:  Potluck parties are always great.  Have a cocktail party, or wine & cheese tasting get-togethers.  Have an Asian or Pacific Rim theme night where everyone brings something of Asian flavor.  There are numerous possibilities.  Your get-togethers might start out with 8-10 people and that’s fine.  It’s not the bash of the decade, just a small get-together to celebrate with friends.

It’s much more attractive to be the cool, relaxed, social guy with a huge social network than it’s be someone pretending to be living the life of a celebrity hanging with other wannabes, posers, and garden variety of the great pretenders, all of whom are socially uncool to anyone who actually has a smidgen of authenticity to his/her personality.

Recap:

1.     Learn the principles of attraction, (Shameless plug for my own stuff: My product is a fantastic place to start),

2.     Clean up your apartment/condo/house,

3.     Expand your social circles so that you know a lot of people.  You’ll host parties and be invited to other events.  You won’t be close friends with all of these folk, but you’ll have a lot of acquaintances and that’s what a social circle is. 

3 month experiment:

Do this for 3 months and you’ll notice what an amazing difference it will make.  You don’t have to pretend to be a rockstar, a wannabe celebrity, or some sort of a guru.  You’ll have a network of people which will expand automatically after a while.

Yes, you can have a lifestyle that suits your personality, your values, (and your budget.)  Imagine that!  A lifestyle that is in accordance with your persona.  You don’t need a life coach or a lifestyle guru to tell you how to live your life.  (And I am certainly no lifestyle guru myself.) 

I do know the basics.  It’s stuff you learn right around the 3rd grade. 

If you’re passionate about surfing then build around that.  If your passion is fitness, and another guy’s passion is cannibalism, you probably wouldn’t take his advice.. Agreed?  OK, I am being sarcastic & silly, but stay with me. 

So if you work a full time job, are a genuine person, and have normal friends, how do you expect to take life advice from some pretentious dude who has never held a normal job in his life and doesn’t have any normal friends?  It’s f*cking crazy. 

There are tons of people out there trying to brag to you about how much their life is better than yours, and they usually do it by placing a “Project” in front of everything.  Here is what I have learned: People who are really enjoying their life don’t make it a point to announce it on the Internet under the guise of guru-ship.  

They just enjoy it. So, I say, do the same.  I say, enjoy your passions with your friends and expand your social circles.  If I see a person spouting off quotes from famous self-help gurus and their best selling books, I know immediately that’s an imbalanced person.  Anyone who is obsessed with quoting Tony Robbins, Wayne Dyer and Stephen Covey 25 times a day is still trying to find his/her way. 

So somewhere between the pretentious dude and his project-wannabe Rock star, and the walking self help guru quoting parrot, there are maybe a bunch of people who can get together on a Sunday afternoon, have a bbq, watch a ball game, play some softball and have a few laughs in the company of good friends. 

They’ve learned to enjoy their favorite hobbies with their favorite people. (Their friends.)

            Miraculously, somehow they’ve figured out the elusive answer to the mysterious conundrum f discovering “Life Style.”  Maybe it’s because they told the people with the “Project-Houses, cities, and states” to “Project f*ck themselves.”  That’s just a hunch.  What do I know.