For the past six weeks, we’ve come to see a plethora of sexual harassment allegations against powerful people in the entertainment industry.  It’s all over the news every day……  The one question that keeps coming up is why!  Why would these guys do this?  What makes them want to behave in that manner?    A lot of reasons have been given, and surely, the old adage holds true: Absolute Power corrupts absolutely.

Yes, there is one underlying reason beneath all of this that no one seems to be talking about in the mainstream media/blogs (and truth be told it’s probably because it’s not a politically correct topic), it’s the following:  A Lack of Skill in Attracting Women that is further deep rooted in lack of confidence and personal power.

This article is not condoning or justifying the actions of Louis CK.  It’s merely an attempt to explain the WHY with a broad spectrum brush.  WHY would someone like Louie do this?  Look, some people are sociopaths who commit horrendous acts, but that’s not Louis CK. He is not a sociopath or a rapist, and from accounts of people around LA, he is not particularly a bad guy.  If you watch his comedy, he also seems self-aware.  In fact, in one of the articles, he so much admits to one of the women who felt harassed.  She was asked if she’d like to come up to his room to watch him masturbate and after she disgustedly refused, he apologized and said, “Sorry, I have issues.”  It shows self-awareness.   He is aware that he has issues and yet he continues on this path.

But Why?

It’s due to lack of skill.  Colloquially, you could call it “Lack of game”.  Regardless of the label, it’s the inability to naturally attract women.   There is a buzzword thrown around at some college campuses called “Toxic Masculinity.”  (This is normally a term used by SJW types….  SJWs are basically mentally ill people who refuse to get help for their illness but that’s a different topic for another way…… wow, so much has changed in 5 years’ time off of blogging… That deserves a post on its own.)

Some people would say it’s a case of toxic muscularity.  Quite contrary, it’s a LACK of muscularity.   It is masculinity that attracts women.  That is one of the running themes throughout the history of this blog.  So here is a breakdown what has occurred:

A combination of living in a society dominated by 3rd wave feminism coupled with absence of a strong masculine father figure produces men who lack masculinity.  This combination and life experiences has produced an unsure, insecure, and neurotic male with a poor self-image who then obvious cannot naturally attract women.

Add power to the mix.

Take the insecure, neurotic, male with poor self-image and give him power and you create a situation where the male now wants to in some way exact revenge.  It may be subconscious (and probably is), which is why someone can even be self-aware of the issue but not be able to break that pattern of behavior.

Coincidentally, two weeks ago, I read an article about Rick Flair. There was a new documentary released about the legendary pro-wrestler who any kid growing up in the 80s or 90s is familiar with.  In the documentary, Rick estimates that he has slept with around 10,000 women.    Granted, more impressive than that is that he drank 10 beers & 5 cocktails a day for years… Most of us would be useless after 3 days of doing that. Rick did it for years!  That liver should be in a medical hall of fame someday). OK, drinking humor aside, 10,000 women….. not one sexual harassment charge against Rick.  (At least not at the time of publishing this article.) What’s the point of mentioning Rick Flair?

Men who are able to attract women naturally don’t need to harass.  They are NOT ashamed of their sexuality nor do they try to constantly hide their intentions.  It’s sort of like, “You know who I am, what I am about, want to come and have a drink with me? I’ve already had 14.  I’m due one more.”  (This is not an attempt to glorify Rick’s lifestyle, but to merely point out the differences in behavior.)

They don’t need to beg, or push their weight around.  Again, this is not to glorify Rick’s lifestyle or alcohol issues.    His behavior and extreme drinking demonstrate that he has his own demons.  This is merely to demonstrate an example of owning who you are. Simply put, despite his issues, he was clear as to who he was, and what he wanted.

It’s men who have trouble attracting women that start to harass once they’re in positions of power.  They try to be sneaky and subversive.  They don’t realize that power comes from within.  In essence, what we are talking about is actually strength.

Wait a minute!  This sounds familiar.  I actually wrote an article about this exact same thing in January of 2010.

Nothing has changed since, except more men need that article NOW than did back then.

In the movie Gladiator, we have Maximus whose creed literally is “Strength and honor.” He stands for courage, loyalty, valor and he fights to protect his family and way of life.  On the flip side, we have Caesar.  He is insecure and neurotic, lacks self-confidence and is unsure of himself, yet he is very powerful.  He is powerful because of his position, not because of his character.  Are you beginning to see the parallels yet?    Yes, Gladiator is just a fictional movie, but we see the parallels scenarios being played out in real life.

Again, men who are able to attract women have choices.  They have abundance.  There is no need to try and somehow manipulate someone into sex by threatening to not give them a job/promotion and etc.  (Bear in mind we’re taking about the scope of harassment and forcing someone by threatening their employment; not about consensual adults.)  Men who are successful with women aren’t ashamed to be sexual or flirtatious.   In essence they’re accepting of who they are.

If you’re a woman, you know what you’re going to get with a guy who is a proverbial “Player.”  You know exactly what you’re getting with Joe Namath.  The lifestyle of “Broadway Joe” is so legendary that we still hear about it though he played football in the 1960s.  If you don’t know about him, then Google search Joe Namath.  He liked to have fun and didn’t hide it, and didn’t have to grope people against their will. Normally, those are not the type you worry about.

It’s the man wearing “This is what a feminist looks like” T-shirt whom you have to worry about.  Wearing that t-shirt in a last gasp desperate attempt to try and get laid, he hides his intentions underneath his pretentious ways while fuming in rage.  Put that guy in a position of power and watch a monster created right before your very eyes.

This sort of manipulation happens when people don’t feel like they have the power of choice and they suffer from a poor self-image.  (OK, and sometimes a small percentage of humans are sociopaths….)

Unfortunately, in my estimation, this problem of neurotic behavior and confusion is going to get worse before it gets better.

If the aforementioned perpetrators lacked a strong father figure to teach them proper values, many men in the generation of millenials born in the last 25 years lack any and all understanding of what masculinity is.

Hence, it’s inevitable that many of these men will be unhappy as they’re unable to attract women, and many women will be just as unhappy having trouble finding suitable mates.  This hurts both sexes.   It will create unhappy women and confused insecure and clueless men… And if these confused and emasculated men come to sort of power, well, you already where this goes….

Whether it was noble warrior of 2000 years ago, or the elite warrior of today, men were able to observe and learn that there is a proper code of conduct and a responsibility to self, family and community that accompanies it.   Sadly, such lessons are not being widely learned.

What’s the solution?  What needs to happen on large social scale is outside of the scope of this particular article.   What needs to happen on an individual level is very much within the context of the article.  What if you’re someone who suffers from having poor skills in attracting women?  What can YOU do?  Here are some ideas that run rampant throughout the blog:

-          Start taking responsibility for yourself.  You CAN become better at this.

-          Work on improving your self-image of yourself.

-          This first starts with self-acceptance.  It’s alright if you are not socially smooth.  You can become better.  I know that because I used to teach it to men for a living and see the results firsthand for myself.

-          Start embracing your masculity.  Much like “the Gladiator” movie example, adopt the “Strength and Honor” motto.  Do start a physical fitness training regimen.  Embrace that being masculine also comes with a responsibility: It’s protecting your loved ones, your community, and on the same note, owning your failures and admitting your faults.

-           Make attempts to lead more.  Most people think of leadership only in terms of prestige.   If you choose to be a leader, understand that it comes with a burden: You have to OWN your mistakes.   At the highest level, it’s the military commander whose wrong decision gets a handful of his men killed in combat.  He has to live with that forever.  It comes with the burden of leadership.  When most people think about leadership, they think in terms of giving orders.  Seldom do they realize the aforementioned burden that accompanies leadership.

-           Be willing to fail.  It sucks and it’s difficult.   Yet, admitting your mistakes and shortcomings enables you to learn from failures and improve in needed areas.

-          Focus on doing what’s right for you instead of seeking validation of others.

-          Figure out how you can bring value to others instead of what you can take.  It’ll automatically make people want to be around you more.  Sometimes it’s as simple as bringing a smile to someone’s face who is frustrated at work.  It’ll make their day.

-          If you suffer from anxiety, cut down on social media.  It poisons the mind, trains your psyche to rely on external validation (oh, my new ass-photo has 10000 likes on Instagram), and perhaps worst of all, it’s surrounding you with people who are angry, malcontent and plain toxic.

-          Surround yourself with positive and encouraging resources.  There are several podcasts that are actually well done and are helpful in inspiring and motivating people.  Select a few wisely.

-          And remember that if you right now are a person who is in a position of power, has millions of Dollars, and yet you find yourself having to threaten someone’s employment in order to get them to sleep with you, that means you have no game.  You can’t attract women because you suffer from a toxic LACK of masculinity; and you suffer from a lack of attributes.   Take a break, work on yourself, and order my EBook.  It’s $27 and it’s one of the best guides on this topic ever written.  Seriously.  Read it and see for yourself. I wouldn’t have written if there were anything similar to it to help me when I needed the help. Read this blog, and start working on yourself both on the inside and out.