How to  Select the right Dating Advice


With such a mass plethora of dating coaches giving various different dating advice, there are more confused guys than ever before.  Wow, so many “PUAs!”  All who make lavish claims about their pick up artistry and abilites.  Guys who could and would talk to you about the P.U. for 72 hours straight, even when they see you trying to sleep or take a piss in peace. 

Whom do you follow?   Whom do you believe?  Who is more credible?  Whose advice is more fit FOR YOU?

This is a tricky situation because while the basics of becoming more attractive apply to every man, not all dating advice is universally suitable for all audiences.  I meet guys guy at community events and they have these bewildered look in their eyes because they don’t know whom to follow.

So let me simplify some of the elements for you and put into proper context.

There are two major categories of advice you’ll come across these days on the internet from seduction coach, and the advice is heavily influenced by the age and experience of the “Coach.”

Before I go any further, let me clarify that there is a whole category I am not addressing, and that’s the mainstream “Dr. Phil” type dating advice.  Most of that is shit and it’s the reason why people take refuge in the seduction community.   OK.  Come to think of it, I am also not addressing the guy who can’t help you much but knows how to market to your insecurities to force you to buy things.  So let’s leave out the inept and the scammer.

When it comes to the seduction community, you’ll get two types of advice:

One category of advice is from the “Pick Up Artist,” who proudly refers to himself as a “PUA.”   Who is this guy?

  • *This is generally a guy in his early to mid 20s.  I’ve seen guys as young as 19 up to about 26 or 27.    (If he is in his 30s and still wearing the moniker of PUA, run for the fucking hills.)
  • *He has been around for about 2 to 3 years.  He is relatively new to “The Game.”
  • *He got involved in this stuff most likely because he read Neil Strauss’ book, “The Game” or watched Mystery’s “Pick Up Artist” TV Show on VH-1.
  • *He is obsessed with proving his skills with women to you. He has a chip on his shoulder. 
  • *Generally, he does not have friends or acquaintances outside the seduction community circles.  He does not have any normal male friends, and as far as any female acquaintances, forget about it. 
  • *He uses a plethora of 3 letter acronyms, “PUA, DHV,  LCD,” and etc.
  • *Wears the PUA moniker as a badge of honor as though this is something to be proud of.
  • *He actually thinks it’s really cool. 









The type of advice you’ll receive from the above mentioned “PUA”

  • *Approach every possible girl.
  • *Go out of your way to approach.
  • *Take a few hours every day to wonder the streets of your town to hit on unsuspecting women.
  • *Don’t ever bail out of the “Set.”  Even if it’s not going anywhere, stay in there and be persistent.  It doesn’t matter that she just pepper sprayed you in the face!  ”Stay in set man!  Plow through!  Come on!  Plus she just emptied the whole can in your face!  Guess what?  She can’t spray you AGAIN!  She is empty.” 
  • *Even if you don’t like the girl, try to “Close her Anyway.”   Try to get something out of it, so you can brag to your other friends about it. 
  • *Actually, even if you cannot stand her, “try to close her anyway. Then write a lay-report” and share it with your pals.

     That was one category of advice. 

The other category is advice from the guy who wants to help you get to the next level.  He is tired and jaded from the scene and usually avoids all of the hoopla.  While keeping in touch with a few select people in his industry, he avoids the rest like a plague.  He wants to advise you how to have fun with girls while maintaining a somewhat normal and most importantly, happy existence..

  • *This guy is normally in his late 20s, his 30s, or 40s.
  • *Does not want to be called a PUA.  In fact, that’s the quickest way to insult him.
  • *Does not want to talk about dating and “Pick up” unless he is teaching.  He’d rather talk about sports, politics or just life in general.
  • *He became involved in this stuff before Neil Strauss’ book.  Chances are, he may have been mentioned as one of the characters in the book, or he hung around those circles.
  • *Most likely, he had normal friends to before he got involved with the scene.  Got suckered into becoming a “PUA” for a while.  Maybe even started peacocking for a while.  Then he had an awakening and he got the fuck out.
  • *He may even have a girlfriend currently.   
  • *He loathes acronyms, and monikers such as Sarging, PUA, and the like.  
  • (He probably also hates Neil Strauss but will not say it publicly due to political and financial reasons).
  • *He likes spending time with women whose company he actually enjoys. 

Advice from this category of guy:

  • *Be able to live a normal existence.
  • *Women are not animals.  They actually are human beings too.
  • *Approach women, but be able to let go of the outcome.  Don’t be obsessed with trying to prove yourself.
  • *If you’ve just started talking to a woman, and you decide you cannot stand her, it’s OK to walk away.  In fact, it’s the wise thing to do.
  • *It’s OK to have hobbies outside of walking the streets to approach women for 3 hours a day.
  • *If you’re not happy with yourself for whatever reason, having sex with a random girl is not going to fix that.
  • *Even at a bar, enjoy the process of flirting and talking with people.  If they don’t meet your standards, forget them and move on.  (Instead of being obsessed with the outcome, i.e. “My goal is to make out with 5 different girls tonight.)
  • *Have something else in your life that gives you gratification instead of validation from random 20 plus year old drunk women in a bar who may or may not like you.

Who is right and who is wrong? 

More importantly, What’s right for you?

Which is going to help you more?

What’s more beneficial to YOU?

This depends on where you are currently and where you want to take your dating life. 

  1. How long have you been involved in “The Community?” 
  2. Are you happy with your progress? 
  3. Are you generally happy with your lifestyle and your choices? 
  4. Do you feel a gaping void that “Sarging” cannot fill?
  5. How old are you?
  6. Do you want to be a proud “PUA” amongst your circle of friends and acquaintaneces?
  7. Are you around people who are going to quiz you the next day?  “Hey man, how many numbers did you get?  How many make-outs did you get?  Did you get laid last weekend?”
  8. Is their approval important to you?
  9. Is it important to you to impress guys around you by trying to show off that you’re a PUA?
  10. IF you attended a house party, which is generally more important to you?

*getting laid at all costs, reporting back to your buddies, writing a field report about it despite the fact that those people will never want to see you again?

*Meeting new people, expanding your social circle, and having the people genuinely like you as a person they’d want to spend more time with in the future, (and still meeting new women in the process)??

These are all questions you have to answer for yourself.  I cannot answer them for you.

When guys first start out, they become fanatical at approaching women.  Most of us have done it.  You become better at social interactions by practicing, like anything else in life. 

So, you do that for a few months and you become adept at approaching and starting up conversation with random strangers. 

  • What is your goal now??  Reassess your objectives.
  • Are you still trying prove yourself to other men, and trying to fill voids by sleeping with random women?
  • Are you trying to live a somewhat normal life where you have friends, hobbies, and enjoy the company of different women as well?  Yet you’re a pleasant person to be with whom others do not find weird or sleazy; the kind of guy people at a party would actually invite over again,

The answers to the last 10 or so questions, determine which route you should take.  So, next time you read advice, take into account the following factors:

*The Age and maturity of the advisor

*His experience level.  (how long has he been at it.)

*What’s his goal in the advice he gives you.  What is he touting?

*Are you objectives in alignment with what his advice is getting you to become?

Please apply the 80/20 rule to what I wrote.  This will hold true 80% of the time.  Therefore, there will be times when you meet a 22 year old guy will be mature and wise, and a 39 or 40 year old dude who comes off like a weirdo.  There are exceptions. 

If you are an absolute beginner, you may start with the simple approach-obsessed stuff because it gets you motivated to get out and it encourages you to talk to women.  (You don’t have to go this route, but it’s acceptable.)  Why?  Because it forces you to approach.  You need to make the effort to approach women even if it feels uncomfortable. 

But if you stay in this phase more than 6 months or so, (maximum a year), then you’ll also find yourself spiraling downward feeling a bit miserable experiencing a diminished quality of life. 

You may find that you seek validation from others constantly in order to feel better and talking to women has become a chore.  It actually feels like a task or a job that you have to do. 

This is where you need to take it to the next level.  Rearrange your priorities and change your game plan.  Find the right coach whose advice resonates with you. Look for someone who:

  1. Knows what he is talking about
  2. His advice is practical for YOU
  3. Has credibility
  4. Shares your values to some extent
  5. Shares a similar lifestyle as you do.

The first few points are for obvious reasons.  Why would you want someone who shares the same lifestyle and values?  Because maybe you’re a guy who wears a shirt and tie and goes to work at some company every Monday morning or maybe you’re a guy who is a blue collar worker.  Pretending to be a Rockstar or living in a looney bin with the word “project” in front of it, may not be your desire.  Henceforth, finding a guy who can relate to your situation only makes sense for BOTH OF YOU. 

It’s your life and you have to be happy with your own progress. 

Select the right advice.


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