How Human Beings are Traded As Social Currency

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Continuing to examine social currency from the last post, we find ourselves at a trendy Nightspot in a major metropolitan city. Every city has such places and the ones in L.A and N.Y. exemplify this dynamic the best.

In Los Angeles, for example, one such place would be the hotspot known as “Les Deux” where they even make attractive women wait in line. The “Super hot ones” get in first and the merely hot sometimes have to wait a while since their social currency has just been devalued just a bit. Of course, as nightclubs are a revolving door business, and thus, Les Deux may not be the hot spot a year or even 6 months from now. That’s a post for a different time, however.

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If you do live in a major metropolitan city, you probably should go to such a place one night just to watch the interactions. Instead of being caught up in the moment and finding a way to schmooze your way in, step back and look at from a bird’s eye view. Just observe it. It’s like discovery channel. It really is like watching animals, or herds of cows competing to get inside a grassy field so they could graze…. “For all the advancements in science, technology, and expressions of art, it’s come down to this? People elbowing each other like herded animals at the trough trying to get the attention of a promoter to let them in?” That’s the prevalent thought that goes through the mind. (or at least my mind.)

Step back, even further to get a better overall picture. Yet, look closely at the details from afar and you’ll see: The very attractive women who walk right in, the normally attractive women who have to wait 20 minutes in line, and the average women who latch to the better looking ones so that they have a chance to even get in.

There is the affluent guy walking right in and having the red velvet rope lifted for him, there is bouncer trying to make extra cash on the side taking bribes to let the non-affluent in, there is the main promoter in charge who cannot wait to get off work to snort a line of blow the length of a football field, there are his cronies working under him hoping to one day have his position, there is the drug-dealer who provides the promoter with his cocaine, (sometimes the promoter is the actual dealer too,) there are guys on the guest list waiting their 20 minutes to get in, there are the guys who have who have a friend on the guest list trying to finagle their way, and then there are a whole lot of guys standing around for hours hoping to get in.

That’s the nature of the game. 100,000 of years of evolution and still too many cave people trying to get inside the special cave. It’s interesting to watch form a social-psychology perspective. I can’t say that I am so much above this, I’ve been to these places. They can even be fun for a while if nothing else but to observe the human dynamics.

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In fact, if you ever meet people who work in these environments outside of their work, you’ll note that they have intriguing stories to tell. I remember one top “Doorman” telling me about how he’d make 3 to 4 thousand dollars on a good night, just from taking bribes to let people in, and how he has none of that money because he blew it all, (mostly on drugs.) (ps. Don’t ever call it a “Bribe” when talking to people who work these jobs.)

So it’s a game. And if you hang around and have a bit of social intelligence, you learn the system, you learn the loopholes and find your way in; IF That’s what you want. Yet, it doesn’t change the fact that you get a feeling you’re watching animals being herded. However, there is a system in place and from a sociological perspective, there is a function for the place. (note: we are talking high end nightspots, not the type of place where a 1000 Euro-trash fill the place drugged out of their mind on ecstasy while listening to techno. Let’s maintain some class here.)

So let’s do a recap of the players and the venue:

  • Nightclub – A place where a niche segment of society congregates
  • The promoter- Essentially a powerbroker who coordinates the meeting between the “Rich guy” and the “Hot chick.”
  • The Bouncer- The gatekeeper to keep out “the Average.”
  • The very hot chick- Sought after by men, she walks into the club. The affluent guy buys up to $5000 worth of “Bottle service” to have sex with her.  The Average guy salivating outside will endure standing in the cold until his limbs are numb so that he could get in and rub shoulders with her.
  • The hot chick- Close to the Very hot chick, except one notch lower. Occasionally, she’ll have to spend 20 minutes in line. She is attractive, better than average, but not quite super hot
  • The Average girl- Hopeful to get in the club because she thinks being in there raises her social status. Her best chance of getting in: Latch on to a hot chick OR be friends with staff. Sometimes she gets in because the promoter wants to fill the club with a higher ratio of females.
  • The Affluent guy- Has money, or social status. Also is willing to spend 1000s of dollars on any given night. He spends lots of money so he is well taken care of by the staff.
  • The connected guy- Looks like some mediocre drummer in a shitty band with no name or talent. This guy doesn’t really have money, and if he didn’t mooch off some girl, he’d be called homeless. However, this strung out veiny wannabe is friends with the bouncers and promoters, so he gets in.
  • The drug dealer- Supplies drugs to whoever wants it and can afford it. He does have regulars though. He is well known by the powerbroker/promoter so he can be directed to the right place. (Sometimes, this guy IS the main promoter.)
  • Special Occasion guy: This guy and 5 of his buddies pitched in to get bottle service. It’s not something they can afford every weekend, but hey, a few times a year is worth it, they figure.
  • The Average guy- Spends inordinate amounts of time waiting outside in random formation (Since there is no line.) Sometimes, he gets in which is a great accomplishment for him. He can spend the entire following week telling his friends about it.

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That’s the hotspot scene. .  It is a shallow world of dog-eat-dog and it’s about status. It’s also about attitude. It’s also conceivable that at age 22, you may like to experience going to these places often and then there are those who never grow out of this stage.

It’s interesting to note that men’s looks have very little social currency. While a very attractive woman is highly coveted, a very good-looking man holds little social currency.

  • Social Currency for a Woman: Her physical Appearance
  • Social Currency for a Man: Social Proof, Power and Status in Society, Wealth, Drugs, and the bringing with other social currency (Hot Women.)

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So let’s assume there is a prestigious party about to emerge and you want to go. If you’re an attractive woman, you’re in. If you’re average looking, tag along with an attractive friend. Yes, I know that in some cases you think she is a dumb attention whore and she gets annoying after about 25 minutes, but you tolerate her because she gets in.

If you’re a man (the not-affluent type), offer Money, Drugs, or go along with a bunch of hot chicks. And no, these are not women you’re interested in dating. Don’t be a silly bastard. You don’t take women you’re interested in to such environments.

Understand the value of your social currency. I am having visions of Alec Baldwin’s speech in Glengarry Glenross. “Hey, Nice Father?  I don’t give a shit!  You solved Cold-Fusion and solved the energy crisis of the planet, fuck you!!!  It’s Fuck or Walk! Either raise your social currency or don’t show up at the door step of my party pal!

It may be sick, and it may be disgusting. I know. But if you understand the system, its parameters, and its dynamics then you can work it to your favor but knowing how to leverage your advantages.

Then again, maybe you don’t like getting mixed in that game, and there are a lot of people who don’t, then you’re going to have to rethink your strategies about how you conduct your social life. Unfortunately, a lot of the advice that is written regarding dating on the Internet by “Pick Up Artists” is for guys who want to operate in the confines and parameters of the night club world I just described above (And even then, they still don’t always understand it.)

On the other than, if you’re reading dating advice from the average “Guru,” keep in mind what world he is prescribing his advice for. He’ll claim that it’s all women and he may sincerely believe that, and that’s the exact reason his advice hasn’t worked for you.

Oh, perfect segue to promote my own product if you want to improve in attracting women:

http://www.attractwomenanywhere.com/audiocourse.shtml