Strengthening Your Innergame, Part 2

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote part 1 of this segment, where I talked about the concept of Keep Moving Forward.  (If you haven’t read it, you ought to read that part first, here:

In that post, I mentioned hypnosis as one possible (and very effective) way of handling “emotional baggage.”  I received a lot of replies by email about this and one guy even wrote to my Facebook about how he has tried Self-Hypnosis but hasn’t helped him in overcoming his approach anxiety.

I realize there is a vast amount of confusion about what Hypnosis actually is and what its applications are.  I didn’t know it myself until a few years ago either.  Most people’s impression of Hypnosis has been formed by watching Stage shows, where participants were seemingly forced to do silly things on stage.  While stage-hypnosis is entertaining, its true application is still misunderstood.

So here is the goal of this Blog post:

To explain to you clearly, once and for all, HOW Hypnosis works, what it’s designed to do, how it can help you, and also explain the things it cannot do for you. I am not here to sell you on it.  I just want the readers of this Blog to have an understanding of what it is so that if you ARE interested, you can avoid the charlatans in the future.

It’s an attempt to help you assess your current situation if you feel that you’re down in the dumps.  Most people, including professional medical staff don’t really understand its true applications.  A few (probably a fraction of 1 percent) do and some actually apply its principles, which in turn enhances their ability to practice medicine.  (And as always, this blog is not providing medical advice.  If you have a medical issue, go see a doctor.)

Hypnosis, in essence, is a vehicle to bypass “Critical Factor” and the conscious mind, in order to access the subconscious mind.  What’s the purpose for doing this?  Because the subconscious mind is where your permanent long-term memory is stored, (including events that may have happened to you even as a 3 year old which you have no conscious memory of at the moment) and it’s also responsible for your emotions.  It’s the emotional mind, per se.

In order to illustrate this in proper context, let’s use a concrete real life example that has nothing to do with dating, seduction or “Pick Up.”  This is a case that a longtime Hypnotherapist (currently in his late 60s) was telling me about and I think you’ll enjoy it due to its straightforward nature.  I’ll shorten the story a bit so we can get to the gist of it.

  • Case of the client with fear of bridges

A client came to him because he had developed a sudden phobia of bridges.  Suddenly, out of nowhere, he was terrified of setting foot or driving on any sort of bridge.  The fact that there were plenty of bridges in the region he in which he resided didn’t help matters.  In traditional therapy, this would be a 6-8 month process, where they’d discuss the bridge, talking about his feelings towards it. Then show him a photo of it, and then maybe take a drive to see one from distance. Then one day, perhaps set 1 foot, and then go back again the next day and set 2 feet on it.  It’s a time consuming grueling process of trying to push him on that bridge.

Again, this can work but you’re looking at a 6 to 8 month process.  So what happened in the hypnosis session?  It was discovered that when he was 9 years old, he fell off the roof of his house and hurt himself.  Nothing permanent or severe, but the event of the fall was traumatizing enough for the kid.  As he was falling, he was staring at a puddle of water, and that’s the last image in his mind before he hit he ground.  That event passed and nothing became of it.  Fast forward to 20 years later: While driving on a rainy day, he saw a puddle of water that was very reminiscent of that day he fell of the roof.  (I am cutting out the details. He may have lost control on the road, etc,) That flashback to that event at the age of 9 horrified him again, and suddenly there is that phobia of that bridge.

So, again, the bridge is not the problem.  The problem is an event (or series of events & experiences in the past) that can haunt people. In that case of an alcoholic, the alcohol is not the problem.  It never has been.  It’s events in that person’s past that haunt him/her, which he is trying to escape from.

Past events at a young age affect different individuals very differently.

Hypnosis allows us to talk to the subconscious mind, recall these events and deal with them so that they no longer haunt us.  The bridge-phobia man had that particular anxiety resolved in about 5 sessions.  (As opposed to 6-8 months of therapy.)

  • So how does this apply to Dating?

Many people, Men as well as WOMEN, experience social anxieties.  Yes, this applies to women too.  I’ve had girls I was dating tell me that they experience certain anxieties in big crowds, or even at a dinner parties, or event sitting at a table in a restaurant with 4 or 5 people.  These anxieties are all rooted in fear.  Different people, obviously, experience different fears based on the life experience.

As human beings, our contrast may be that we have different life experiences, and yet our commonality is that we all experience similar emotions based on those experiences.  The power of hypnosis is to help deal with those fears and overcome the obstacles they’ve presented to us.

  • Enter the Seduction Community:

Somehow, they took what is a benevolent and effective process to help people, and they turned into a sleazy marketing gimmick promising men that they could, in essence, hypnotize women into liking them.  This appeals to megalomaniac characters that want more control over others and this where suddenly NLP surfaces its head in the community.  It’s sold as an “Effective” way to communicate, but really, its promise is to sell “Control.”  Its application may be different in other places but in “The Community” it’s sold as a vehicle of control.

the NLP Master

the NLP Master

The sad thing is that people are not looking at the deep structure of their logic.  Anyone who has resorted to this line of thinking has essentially given up. They’ve given up that they can be liked be as a genuinely “Cool” and Interesting human being.  So the alternative is the villainous James Bond type character that now wants to control. When a person seeks mind-control of other human beings, he/she has crossed the Rubicon of self-actualization.  It reminds one of the Seinfeld Episode where George starts walking around town in sweatpants, to which Jerry replies: “You realize what you’re saying right? You realize what this says?  You’re saying that’s it!  You’re giving up! It’s officially over.”

George Costanza

  • Back to the Hypnosis and its potential benefit to you:

It can help reduce social anxieties.  A few sessions of hypnosis is not going to cure all approach anxiety.  In my experience, there are two things main components that help eradicate the bulk of approach anxiety. (This is a very general list).  Those are:

  1. Constant Exposure
  2. Developing A Strong & Positive Self-Image.

Hypnosis can help with the latter.  It can help you start the movement towards a better self-image.  A couple of sessions of therapy, however, do not magically transform a self-loathing shameful person to a charming confident person with a high self-image.  A couple of sessions do not transform a George Costanza into a George Clooney. That takes a bit of time and work.  Just a little bit….

George Clooney

Look at it this way:  Let’s say you are overweight and want to lose weight 50 pounds of fat (Roughly about 25 Kilograms for my international Audience.)  Let’s also say that you have not done any proper physical activity in years and you easily become fatigued.

Hypnosis, in essence, is that workout buddy who goes to the fitness gym WITH YOU 3 or 4 times a week, for the first 3 weeks. He helps you create and maintain that momentum.  That is the key concept here: MOMENTUM.  If you’ve been hitting the fitness gym for 12 sessions in the past 3-4 weeks, then it’s rather easy to keep going.  In fact, it may be easier to keep going, than to stop going at that point.

Are you going to lose that 50 pounds of fat in those 3 weeks?  NO!  It may take 6-8 months depending on how hard you workout and how closely you monitor your nutrition.  Still, you have started the process.  You are now able to make progress.

So you feel like you’re in the trenches, stuck knee deep in the thick mud where it’s cold and it feels lonely.  A therapy like hypnosis can help you take those first few steps to start your momentum to walk OUT of the muddy trenches towards better conditions.  You still have to walk!  Back to our Rocky Story: You still have to keep Moving Forward.

There are two kinds of people who become entangled in the community’s “Easy-answers” and I am going to discuss that in part 3.  For the moment, let’s talk about more analogies as to what Hypnosis can do and cannot do.  Again, let’s start with non-dating related so you can see it from third person perspective.

If you’re a Mixed Martial Artist or a boxer and experience anxiety, hypnosis can help lessen that anxiety before stepping into the ring.  It helps you move forward.  It cannot, however, teach you HOW to kickbox or grapple on the ground.

Similarly, if you cannot play basketball, hypnosis cannot teach you basketball.  This is not the Matrix movie where they can stick a giant USB port in the back of your neck and upload a program into your brain.   However, IF you are a basketball player who chokes in big games and clutch situations because you’re nervous, hypnosis can help with that.  It can help the basketball player become better indirectly by removing his mental blocks and emotional anxieties.  It cannot teach him the game of basketball.

Is this starting to make sense?

If you decide to get any sort of therapy, be it Hypnosis, see a shrink, whatever, then it’s important to realize that these are not cure-alls.  They are steps in creating momentum.  They are steps to enable you, to provide you that wiggle room to take your foot out of the trench.

They are steps to allow you to start the process of KEEP MOVING FORWARD.” You still have to work on certain skills.  The basketball player still has to work on shooting the ball, dribbling, passing, rebounding, increasing his basketball IQ, and playing defense.

The guy who wants to attract women still has to work on his skills to understand and read subtext and sub-communication from women, his skills to be interesting in conversation, his prowess in story-telling skills to capture her imagination, and his ability to FLIRT with women.

If you think you could use development in those skills, then I highly recommend my Audio Course:

Stay tuned for part 3 of Strengthening Your InnerGame