One of the important elements in becoming better at anything is going to depend on a relatively simple concept: Nervous system adaptation.   In order to become better at that activity, you must rewire your nervous system to respond automatically, systematically, as well as effortlessly.

Most people who partake in new activities, unfortunately, do not take put the work required to rewire the nervous system.  The nervous system is mainly operated by the subconscious mind.  Many of your daily actions done without thinking, such as driving, are carried out by the subconscious mind. Take a moment to think about it.  You don’t actually think, “I should ease on the gas pedal, I ought to slightly press the break, and look left.”

You just do it as you have done a 1000 times before, and sometimes you even do it while talking on the cell phone, and then you get people like me honking the horn at you to get moving.

In doing that action a 1000 times, you’ve also rewired your nervous system to have a feel for the act of driving.  You instinctively know how fast you can operate your vehicle during a sharp curve before you lose control of the car and end up in a ditch.

Our brain fires a signal/impulses that are carried by the neurons to the muscles in our body.  Basic biology.  When an activity is done enough time, it automatically knows how to fire those sequences of synapses precisely and appropriately.  You’ve probably heard the sports cliche, “Muscle Memory.”  In reality, it’s nervous system adaptation.

  • Example:

Let’s look at a combination of punches in Boxing:

1.     Left jab,
2.     Right cross,
3.     Left hook,
4.     Right uppercut,

Professional Boxers practice that combination  (As well as many other combo sequences) for months/years, hours and hours a day.  It’s to rewire nervous system to respond quickly, fire the nerve impulses quickly and subconsciously.

In fact, if you’ve never done any boxing training, or if you’re training is limited to the Mickey Mouse cardio-kickbox classes at your local gym, you’ll appreciate the disparity the training provides.

As an experiment, it’d be great if you could go to a gym, and start punching a heavy bag, using the above combination.  (Or better yet have someone hold focus mitts for ya.)   Have the instructor show you exactly HOW to do it.  He can explain to you for an hour the mechanics and proper form of each punch.  Then it’s your turn it to actually do it.

Do it.  Film it.  Watch yourself.  Then watch film of a professional boxer doing the same combo.  Put a blindfold on him, and watch him perform.  There’ll hardly be a difference in the professional’s performance even with the blindfold.

Why?  Because he has trained that combination amongst many others for years now.  He has practiced each of those sequence tens of thousands of times.  Now, he doesn’t think, his subconscious mind takes over, his nervous system fires synapses and impulses automatically.  It operates much like a well-oiled machine, smoothly, efficiently, without hesitation, hick ups, or confusion.

The same process applies to developing skills in dating and attracting women.  This is not to imply that you need to approach 10,000 women.  Rather, you ought to practice your newfound skills.

I come across guys who tell me they’ve approached 3000 women in the last couple of years.  That’s a lot more than I have during that same time span, and it’s certainly 10 times more than most guys I know who are successful with women.  Yet, they [3000 approaches guys] tell me that they have had 3 dates during that time span.

Below is a video.  See this guy?  He is what would be considered a complete jerkoff in the gym world.  Actually, putting that video on youtbue makes him a jerk off in any world.  He is using poor form to move the weights about one to two inches.    It’d be curious to see if he is strong enough to bench press a 150 pounds properly lying on his back using and actually moving the weight.  The video is 2 minutes long, worth a good laugh.  Watch it, we’ll discuss below.

Regardless, he has worked his way to 700 pounds using his jerkoff method.   Why is he fascinating?  He is the equivalent to the guy doing 3000 approaches and getting 3 dates that didn’t go anywhere.   The jerkoff in the video would be also equivalent to a guy starting boxing training and just flailing his arms randomly into the air as though he is trying to swat flies.   (By the way, it’s only fitting that this “Doctor” is also a fitness trainer.)

It goes to the sports cliché that, “Practice doesn’t make perfect.  Perfect Practice makes perfect.”  Rewiring your nervous system to respond the way it should.  I know it sounds ambiguous at the moment but I’ll clear it up quickly.  Someone who is naturally good with girls may read this post and think, “What the fuck is Cameron talking about?  Rewire your nervous system?  Just go and talk to girls.”

He is right in that a major part of this is just talking to girls, but then, I’d guarantee you that the person who is successful with women has a good tonality naturally.  He is at ease talking to women; he is not nervously stumbling over his words.  For him, it’s obvious: Just go and talk to them.

I’d agree with the general assessment of talking to girls without making it complicated.  I’d add that the person looking to improve in his ability to attract women ought to develop certain foundational skills that the “Naturally Good with Women” guy already has!

For example, let’s talk about tonality.  Those of you, who have listened to my audio product, have heard the chapter regarding tonality.   You know there are exercises in there to help you develop your voice tone.   A plethora of exercises to help create better tonality.

Want to get really good at this stuff?  Take a 6 -8 week period and practice those exercises 5 times a week for 15 minutes a day. 15 minutes is not a lot of time.  It’s doable.  Do them at home, or do them in the car while you are driving. While doing them, should you discover variations that really click with you, do those as well.

5 times a week for 6 to 8 weeks.  It’ll play enormous dividends.  It’ll improve your tonality by leaps and bounds.  You are, in essence, REWIRING YOUR HABITS.    If you already have a smooth delivery that resembles that of Mickey Rourke or a booming voice that is reminiscent of James Earl Jones, then obviously you’ve got the tonality covered.  (In my experience, most guys who seek dating advice suffer from really poor tonality.)

Many people don’t take any action to seek proper advice.  Some do, but won’t put it in practice.  Some people seek advice, learn a series of wrong things and persist on doing the wrong things over and over.

The way I see it, only 20% of people ever do anything to achieve their goals. 80% get filtered out at some point.  We can take fitness as a good analogy.  The world is full of people who talk about doing some sort of a fitness program but don’t ever actually do it.   Here is how they get filtered out:

People who make excuses, people who talk about it but don’t do it, people who try it once and forget about it, and then you have the annoying pests.  The ones with the new Year’s resolutions who start EVERY January and are done by mid February, again, and again, again.

And perhaps in their own special category, you have those who the wrong sort of thing and never even come close to achieve their goals.  (Example: The jerkoff in the video I posted.) In his own mind, he is a legend who can lift 700 pounds.  Imagine if you met that guy at a party!  He’d impress you with his stories of lifting 700 pounds.  When you see what he is doing, different story.

If you’re going to get better, practice. Learn the right information to make perfect practice.  REWIRE your nervous system, better your skills, and practice doing the right things over and over.   Aspire to be part of the 10-20% of people who actually do

You might be thinking, “OK, Cameron, this pseudoscientific sounding stuff sounds nice and everything, but what’s the message to take away?”

Here is the simplified version:

1.     Understanding how to do something does not equal its application.

2.     In order to apply the learned information, you must practice it.

3.     Practicing it is not enough.  You must practice perfectly.

Whether you’re lifting weights, learning to knit, or learning to become better at attracting women, it’s wise to learn the right information practicing it perfectly.  It’s not about incessantly just approaching 1000s of women.  Talking to women and socializing is part of it.  You have to practice your conversational skills, story telling skills, tonality, social acuity, as well as a number of other attributes. Bruce Lee, once wrote:

“Knowing is not enough, We must do!
Willing is not enough, We must apply.”

Most people are not willing to do any work.  If you’re willing to put effort it, you can separate yourself from others quickly in any endeavor.   You practice the right way of doing so, and pretty soon, you’ll find that you’re telling more interesting stories, having better conversation and radiate the type of energy that has people gravitating towards you.