Some of you may have heard the news that “Dreamweaver” passed away yesterday. If you had read the book, the “Game”, you may have noticed towards the end a mention that he had collapsed and experienced a seizure due to brain cancer. That was in June 2005.
Almost four years later, after a valiant fight, living far longer than most doctors had given him, he passed away. After his seizure in 2005, he virtually disappeared from the dating-pick up business. Later, his girlfriend moved in with him and he continued to live something that resembled a normal life; if you account for a normal life that included occasional seizures, monthly brain MRIs, chemotherapy, and a major brain operation.
So I guess in his memory, it’s fitting to tell a bit of the story of how I met him and what he was like. Funny enough, I met Seth [Dreamweaver] him through the old lounge. I was going up to Santa Barbara for Business trips every couple of weeks and thought it’d be cool to meet up with a local. Randomly, I did a search and it turned out that there were a couple of guys who lived in Santa Barbara. That was 2003. He was finishing up his last year at UCSB.
We started hanging out every so often and it turned out that we had a lot of commonalities that went way beyond “Pick up” and “Dating”; one of those being movies and everything that surrounded them. We also both started teaching this stuff about a year later and worked with various organizations. Eventually, he moved to LA and even lived in the infamous “Project Hollywood” that many have read about. In fact, he took over Mystery’s old room which had been vacated once Mystery had been forced out..
This was in the latter phases of “Pro Ho” and he lasted 3 months before he decided one day to pack his bags and just leave the place.
He moved to an apartment with an old friend he’d known since middle school and started immersing himself in teaching dating workshops. He and I along with two other partners started our own workshop company around Jan 2005. One of the smartest guys in the community, he was also one of the most stubborn (though he’d fight you tooth and nail about being stubborn.) The reason we became friends was beyond commonalities. We both shared a lot of the same passions, and also shared a few similar life experiences. We also didn’t take the whole “Pick Up Artist” think seriously. We joked about it and made fun of all the sociopaths we had come across, whom we would have never met otherwise.
It’d be hugely unfair to discuss factual information without delving into the details of what few of the “Community people” knew about him. I am sure there will be a few people writing about him and some will manage to sound sympathetic. If he is going to be remembered, let us remember him for the right reasons and for the person he actually was:
Seth’s brilliance came in his writing ability, more specific his ability to write screenplays. He had a wacky imagination that enabled him to conjure up intriguing scenarios with unique characters and plotlines. His screenplays were unique and appealing. He wrote and (along with his roommate) co-directed one low budge film that was shot and completed AFTER he had been diagnosed with cancer.
He was working on another movie script based on his experiences in the seduction community, one that was far more appealing that anything that others could ever write. He had Hollywood producers interested in purchasing the script. Unfortunately, he ran into the same dilemma that Sylvester Stallone ran into with the original Rocky. (If you’re not familiar with the story that seems common knowledge these days: It’s that Sly was penniless at the time but would not sell his Rocky script unless he was allowed to play Rocky himself. This is despite having been offered over a 100,000 Dollars by the Studios for his script, 1975 money.)
In Seth’s case, he wanted to direct his movie. He wasn’t willing to sell his script unless he was the director and you couldn’t really blame him. As much as he enjoyed writing screenplays, he enjoyed directing more. No one really knew how long he had and making a few dollars for selling a scripts didn’t seem worthwhile. In this situation, time was not on his side.
Perhaps, his most prized possession/artistic expression was a movie script that he had started writing while at UC Santa Barbara, a deeply dramatic story of a girl who has suffered through a traumatic rape. It was one of those scripts that seemed to have people salivating after reading it, and of course, there was no way he was ever going to sell his baby. His plan was to get enough credits and accomplishments under his belt so he’d be allowed to chance to direct what was his cherished. He had the shots envisioned, and even knew the exact locations he wanted to shoot many of the scenes in. It remains to be seen what will happen to that script now.
In the last couple of years, he was often drained due to the chemotherapy. Through it all, we still hung out. He was also supportive of my creative endeavors. Though not the most energetic guy around after his chemo, he still would come out to see some of my comedy performances. Then afterwards, he’d tell me he couldn’t figure out why I was “wasting my time doing sales jobs or teaching “Pick up” when clearly I should be focused on the performing arts.”
As of late, in the last 2-3 months, it had become difficult for him to walk. Still, he had high spirits. Still, he marched on. To be fair, I know that in retrospect, he rubbed some people the wrong way. He liked pushing people’s button sometimes, and would say things that could be perceived as annoying. At the end of it all, he was a good guy and meant well. There really was an irony to this dynamic. Project Hollywood was filled with guys who’d say the “Right Things” but were malicious at heart. You had manipulative people with malicious intentions who had learned to be that way through robotically learning what to say that seemed right. Opposite of that was Seth who sometimes was out of line while his intentions were right.
That tradition continued with his jokes about his brain cancer. He openly joked about it which sometimes made others feel awkward and strange. Most others in his situation would have felt uncomfortable being at the party with that condition and having to explain the situation. Not Seth. He seemed to be the most comfortable person with the situations out of everyone around.
That ability to joke about his condition and jokes about how the gamma radiation may give him superpowers were probably part of what kept him going for so long.
Three weeks ago, he moved to Northern Cal to be with his family. I gave him a ride to the airport and that’s the last time I saw him. I wasn’t sure if I should write a post covering such details of the past few years, but then I was reminded that Seth always enjoyed attention and he’d want it now. If he were here, he’d joke with something along the lines of at least the cancer brought him something useful, it got him this attention on the blog. Yep, that’d be him.
I guess I just miss my friend.