Understanding the Importance of Subtext in Dating Women


One of the most crucial, and perhaps most elusive, keys to successful interactions is Subtext.  It’s the sub-communication of your body language and tonality.  It’s not the words that come out of your mouth, it’s what your attitude conveys.

It’s simple enough and you’d think it’s basic common sense for most people.  Yet it gets lost in translation.  It requires that one increase his/her social intelligence.  Keep in mind that women are more intuitive creatures by nature, and it’s more necessary for men to work on their ability to effectively read social situations.

Part of the goal of this 6 part saga is to provide some basic foundational understanding of the dynamics of social psychology and the intricacies of interactions.

With that thoiught in mind, let’s start with this question I received through email a few weeks ago:


“Hey Cameron…….  You’ve heard of this guy xxxxxx?  Have you read his book? What do you think about it? If you haven’t, it is pretty much about being straight up, honest and forward with what you want from girls. But it is pretty hardcore. I’m just asking you because I’m stuck in between a rock and a hard place. Is this falling under the header ‘bad advice’?

While your E-book pretty much emphasizes the non-verbals over verbals, his is the complete opposite. It’s almost like the complete opposite.

it would be cool to hear your opinion.


So the question remains:  Should you be straight up with girls about what you want?  Should you tell them exactly what it is you are looking for?  I mean, should you just be straight up and blurt out:, “Hey, I think you have a wonderful ass.  I’d like to see you naked and bent over.”  Where do you draw the line?

Let’s get back to that later. By the time, I am finished with this six part series, you’re going to understand it clearly without EVER being confused by propaganda again.

What about the non-verbals?   Yes, it’s true that a lot of what I teach emphasizes the non-verbals over the actual words you say.

Why? Instead of a long explanation, how about demonstrating through an analogy you can relate to?  An example that would paint a picture to bring clarity in understanding this dynamic.

It’s kinda like this:  Imagine YOU are alone in a room and someone who resembles one of Woody Allen’s nerdy characters in one of his movies is running around screaming.  I mean imagine his character’s body language and voice-tone in the ”Annie Hall” movie.  He is telling you he wants to kick your ass!  He is going to beat you up and start punching you repeatedly?  He is extremely forward and blatant about wanting to put his fist in your mouth.

Take a look:

Be afraid....

How concerned are you?

Now, imagine that YOU are alone in that same room and someone like MMA Champion Chuck Liddell or Mike Tyson (in his prime) is angry with you.  They look like they want to tear your head off and they tell you to come closer.  They may not even be yelling at you.  They just tell you, “Hey!  Come here!”

Which one concerns you more?  Why?

Sure, the latter two have a reputation for knocking people the fuck out.  What if you didn’t know that about them?  Would it make a difference? Probably not.    Why do the latter two raise more concern?

Because of their Attitude.   (Yes, I know both of the two athletes are more physically imposing, but it’s still the attitude that concerns us.)

“What’s next Cameron?  Any other obvious observation?  Sun sets to the West, Earth orbits around the Sun, and the French’s arrogance will continue to annoy other people?”

Yes, on all accounts.  Sometimes the obvious needs to be explicitly stated.  And if it’s do damn obvious in the case of the Fighters, why is it so complicated when it comes to emotionally impacting women?  Your demeanor and behavior is always going to speak volumes louder than your words.

At the end of the day, even if you’re super direct, your words have to be backed up by ATTITUDE.  So regardless of how your “Verbals” go, you still have to possess strength behind it.

Now, to be fair, Chuck Liddell or Mike Tyson could scream at you and be loud, but EITHER WAY, it’s the person’s attitude that backs up the words.  Hence, why my teaching philosophy/articles/products are so devoted to developing people’s “Attributes” as opposed to tactical stuff.  What your demeanor conveys is always going to be important than the actual words, as witnessed in the case above.

The same applies to interacting with women.  You can be direct, ultra direct, you can tell them, “Hey,  I am  dating 10 girls right now and if I have time, I’ll make time for an eleventh one, which just might be you, if you’re lucky.”   You can bullshit all you want.   They can tell you if you get it or not.  They can smell it.

  • Your words are already spoken before you’ve even opened up your mouth.

It’s easy to sell 2-minute solutions that solve all of your problems.  “Just go up to her and tell her what you want.”  That, in and of itself, does not necessarily spark attraction.   There has to be in air of confidence in your attitude to back that message up.  Being Direct without conveying the strength behind the words is pretty useless.

Does that mean that you should not be straight forward with women?  Nope!

In the tomorrow’s article, I am going to talk about the differences between a Direct approach versus an Indirect one, and which one is appropriate for YOU!

And by the way, as Johnny mentioned, a good portion of my material is focused on subtext. If you’re interested to learn more on how to build that attitude that backs up your words, check out my audio product here:


Stay tuned for my next post in the series tomorrow.  We are just getting started…..