Instinctive Mastery in Dating & Attracting Women


The last Blog entry evoked certain emotions from people regarding “Being Fine the way you are.”  Certainly, many people need to improve social skills, but then there are those whose greater problem is a poor self-image. I am going to get back to that shortly.

It’s a common experience that the more you study a subject in depth, there more details and nuances you begin to grasp.  It’s my experience that as you realize the fine details, you also see an overlying theme of simplicity that runs rampant throughout the entire theme.

This does not apply just to established sciences.  We can take sports as an example.  I consider myself a bit of a basketball snob.  I love the game and am arrogant enough to believe I understand it better than a lot of people who play it at far higher levels.  (Which may not be saying all that much once you see interviews with some pro athletes who can’t speak 3 proper sentences.)   The point is this: The more details you learn, the more fascinated you become to know more, and yet you see an underlying simplicity to the game.

So, in basketball, as you learn about playing post defense, whether to play fully behind someone, play  3/4th coverage, or full denial in front of someone while depending on weak-side help to cover the lob pass to the baseline…… you also begin to see that elegant simplicity that ties it all together: Don’t allow the guy you’re guarding to catch the ball in his favorite spot.

The same concept applies to learning more about the topic of attraction and dating.  There are a lot of fine nuances to it, and you can delve into fascinating details regarding social interactions between human beings, but there is a simplicity that ties it all together.

When I began to study all of this stuff, I didn’t care about the details.  I just wanted to know what to say to girls upon approaching them.  That’s all I cared about.  Somehow, on the way to learning that, I became really involved in learning far more than I had set out to do.  I delved deep into understanding nuances of social interactions and the psychology of people’s behaviors.  I even became a certified hypnotherapist in the process, and had you told me that 10 years ago, I would have completely laughed at you.

One of those common themes is “Don’t be a pussy.“  You can get knee deep in theory, and I am happy to indulge the intellectual side of you, but really, a common theme that encapsulates the idea brilliantly is, “Don’t be a Pussy.”  I could expand on that, but that’s a topic for another day.

Another coming trend is “Logic Vs. Emotion.”  That’s the topic for today.  Those of you who have listened to my audio product are aware of this dynamic, as I make it a blatant point to deliver this message.  A little reminder, however, never hurt anyone so let’s delve more into that.

So let’s get back to my last Blog entry regarding “Being Fine the Way You Are,” self-acceptance, and improving confidence.

It’s a matter of how you look at it.   You may be well dressed, well groomed and have pleasant to interact with socially, but your self-image of your own person may be rather poor.  So really, you are not “Fine just the way you are” in a metaphoric sense.  You must work on improving your self-image.   This takes a bit of effort, but it’s also the most rewarding part of the experience that pays the biggest dividends.

In that regard, a Blog commenter responded to my last Blog Article:

Knowing how to think is good but this doesnt change our feelings much. Pick up is in most part about us feeling confident.

I see where he is coming from, but the mistake in his approach is that he is approaching the situation logically.  He is applying a logical translation to something that must recognized intuitively.  Knowing something logically does not always influence behavior.

His error lies in that he is trying to take logical knowledge and apply it in order to change his feelings.

  • Remember that the subconscious mind is responsible for emotions and that the emotion of fear is driven from subconscious beliefs.


Let’s take a person who has a horrid phobia of snakes.  Give him/her a snake and you can watch that person have a nervous breakdown.  The feeling of fear is very real. The emotion is real.  The reason is illogical.

Now, explain logically to that person that the species of snake she is holding is completely harmless to human beings.  Hold the snake yourself, pull out an encyclapedia on snakes and show her that specific specie of snake to be non-poisonous and explain with perfect reason that there is no possible harm.

Cover all of the logical angles.  By all accounts of logic and reason, there is NO HARM to any human holding this particular snake.

Will that work?  NOPE!   Of course not!   IF you have ever come across someone who has a phobia of anything (Spiders, open spaces, etc..), you know that logical explanations do not make a bit of damn difference.

That’s because the logical mind does not control your emotions.  The emotions arise out of your subconscious mind. They are your internal beliefs and reactions.  Granted, if you are sitting in Arizona desert, and there is a rattle snake a short distance away rattling its tail, you have a logical cause for concern.  This is a real perceived threat. We are not talking about that in this article.

Most things people worry about are not present and clear dangers.  They’re fears based on beliefs they have inside their own heads.  The competence you acquire has to become subconscious at some point.  You have to DO, not think, but there is a process that takes a person from one to the other.

A lot of the stuff you read from me is designed to take one level closer to that subconscious competence.   In the attempt to gain that positive self-image, you have to be willing to keep moving forward.  You must be willing to apply yourself.

That means when you chat with a girl, you don’t consciously think about what to say.  You instinctively KNOW what to say.  You don’t worry about if she may like you or not, but you learn to not really put too much emphasis on it either way.  These things all make sense logically, but their full impact will not be felt until they are believed on a deeper level.


PS.  The articles on this blog will have a profound impact on your dating life.  Please realize that they are supplementary and supporting material to what I discuss in my expanded work.  Get a copy of my Ebook here: Building Attraction with Women