New school of Dating advice

I am starting a new category to help guys decipher the various schools of thought and advice they often hear.   There are polarizing schools of thought that give the exact opposite advice from each other.  Generally speaking, there are so many ideas, methods, and ideologies that it all ends up resulting in a complete cluster fuck.  It’s a jumbled mess and it becomes harder to figure out for the average guy who is seeking advice.

We’ll get into all that in due time.  Today’s Blog entry is addressing the new trend in some seduction schools, which sounds something to the tune of, “Hey, you’re just fine the way you are.”

This was in direct contrast to the previous popular school of though which threw ridiculous amounts of routines, tactics, analyzation, and algorithms at men.   The previous school wanted to give you a computer program where you could push buttons and pick up women.  Now, there was new ideology.  One of the factions touted the “Hey, you’re fine as you are.”

Unfortunately, this new faction also contributes to guys not achieving any success in their goal to become more successful in attracting women.

Sometimes, “Hey, you’re fine the way you are” advice comes with good intentions.  It’s meant to tell a person to not feel inadequate.  Too many people come into the community suffering from negative social conditioning which forces them to feel inadequate.   Finding yourself, and understanding who you are is an important part of this process.

On that note, there is also room for self-improvement.  Social skills, like any other skills, can be developed and honed.  Social intelligence that arises from having certain knowledge is information that can be learned.  Furthermore, you can train your brain to be more receptive to social queues, congruencies, and incongruence.  An FBI agent who receives extensive training honing his social intelligence to be able to discern whether an individual is lying, is on the same learning curve.  He has to learn certain new information, adapt, and train his brain to utilize that information differently.

Unfortunately, that part becomes lost sometimes.  Guys read self-help books and then regurgitate that information into dating advice.  “Hey, just go and be authentic, and that’s all you need.”  OR “Hey, just be yourself man.  You are fine the way you are.”

Sometimes, there are skills that one needs to learn.  They’re called “Social Skills” for a reason.  The word “Skill” denotes that that some sort of ability has to be formed.

I enjoy playing basketball.  In high school, I used to play about 6 days a week.  Now, I play recreationally, and my skill level is around that high school level.   Imagine if I applied the line of self-help thinking mentioned above to my basketball ability.

Imagine if I went to the Lakers and said I want to play for you.   I could have a chat with their current coach, Phil Jackson, using the same approach.

Me
I’d like to play on this team.  I’d like to be a Laker.

Phil Jackson
You ever even play Professional ball?

Me
Nope

Phil
Then surely, you played some college ball?

ME
Nope.  Can’t say I’ve done that either.

Phil
What makes qualified to play on this team?

Me
I am good enough as I am.  A self-help book told me so.

Phil
How do you plan to compete with people like
Koby Bryant and Lebron James?

Me
I don’t know, but listen, I am good enough as I am.

Phil
Not for my team, you’re not.  Security, throw this asshole outta here.

The above conversation sounds a bit ridiculous but that’s the state of some the programs out there.  They regurgitate spiritual books into the platform of dating in selling guys “Feel-good” advice that does not take them very far.

Now, I understand the fallacy in the Lakers analogy above.  Part of being Attractive to the opposite sex IS confidence that is driven from a high self-image. I’d be the first guy to tell you that.  Part of what makes a man attractive is his confidence in himself.

At the same time, there has to be a level of social acuity that goes with it.  The person possesses some SOCIAL SKILLS to interact with other humanoids on the planet.

When you get a person with a lack of social skills who insists on doing things a certain way, this is what you get:

Mclovin

.

Yes, you get McLovin from the movie Superbad.  While a likable character, and a probably a sweet person, he is not someone women find sexually stimulating.  But then if you’ve seen the movie, you know that even McLovin had enough social intelligence to know that getting arrested and roughed up by his cop friends would give him the illusion of being a badass with a lot of balls.

On that note, even Mclovin got it on some level. He knew enough to know that he could use a little boost to his social image.

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When I was in college, I remember having a discussion with someone regarding the knowledge you learn in school and how applicable it is once you graduate.  He was an interesting guy in his late 30s, or early 40s.  He was going back to school to get his law degree, and from chatting with him you can tell he was pretty intelligent.  He said something that always stuck me with, “There are classes that teach you how to do something, and there are ones that teach you how to think.  The ones that teach you how to think are more invaluable than the ones that teach you how to just do something.”

He was very correct in his assessment.  An “Auto shop” or “Carpentry” class will teach you how to fix a car and saw wood.  There is immediate gratification in learning in how to change your car’s oil and rotate its tires.  However, they don’t train the brain.

Classes in physics, mathematics, philosophy (and even literature) may be quite unpopular to most students but they form your way of thinking.  They create a blueprint for the way you think in the future.  In some ways, they help form logical pathways that lead to a discovering a working model for doing things in general.  So while you may not consciously apply “Newton’s 3 Laws of Motion,” somewhere you in the back of your mind the concept has been ingrained and it affects your decision making.

Part of the information you learn in this community basically teaches you technical skills.  (Various openers, hooks, and gambits to meet girls.)

Another part is teaching you to rethink dating and how you approach your dating life in a different sense.  Actually, I take that back.  I can’t speak for other people, and truth be told, some dating gurus want to create clones of themselves.   So I’ll rephrase.  One of the goals of this blog and what I teach is to also enable you to look at the dating in a different light; to think about the process, differently.

Thus, if you have found your way online searching for a solution to your dating issues, you have to keep focused on the goal hand.  If it sounds like bullshit, it probably is.   At the end of the day, a huge part of the process is gaining social intelligence while developing more social skills.  En route to that goal, you’re going to gain more self-confidence and keep gaining momentum.  You keep moving forward which is one of the central themes of this Blog, courtesy of Rocky Balboa.

If someone wants to blindfold you and take you in the middle of the woods to help you find yourself, that’s great.  I hope you find your way back.  When you do find your way back to civilization, you may stop by a coffee shop to grab some coffee and then you come across an attractive female….  It’ll happen.  Then, will you know what to say?  Will you know how to socialize with that person in an effective and attractive manner?

If not, then might as well just stay in the woods, and just hang with the wolves.

Cameron

PS.  16 CD Audio Course will teach you the technicall skills and proper perspective that will help you attract quality women