Your Niche In Dating

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Yesterday, I discussed the notion of “Pure Game” and how it does not exist.  It’s a myth perpetuated to provide the illusion that you are omnipotent and can get every girl because you’re just a master of the Game.  Most men who are naturals learn to use their strengths early on.  They don’t consider a form leverage as a cheating mechanism.

There is a flip side to this “Perfect Game” equation, as well.  There are those who reply on specific niches that they hold in order to meet girls.  Again, nothing wrong with this.  Use what you got.  Put your best foot forward.

  • The issue arises when guys who are working specific niches designed to get specific archetypes of girls  start giving dating advice on a mass level.

They give shotgun solutions designed for everyone.  In reality, they’re doing a very specific thing designed to work for them in attracting a specific type of woman.  Let’s use an extreme example to make it glaringly obvious.  Let’s assume a guy was paying prostitutes for sex and this was his main source of meeting women.  Fine.   Not my place to judge.

Let’s assume that, now, that guy wants to give you, me and everyone else dating advice on how to meet and attract women.  It’s slightly skewed, wouldn’t you say?  If his advice was geared towards how to find the best rate prostitutes and effectively negotiate with them, it’d be properly within perspective.  After all, he knows more about that dynamic than you and I.  He could tell us how to negotiate the best rates, if we should tip or not, and how to make small talk with the big boss man.  It’d all be justified.

Yet, it’s obvious that he is working a niche that is not applicable to others who are not interested in hiring hookers.  This same dynamic applies to someone whose main mechanism of getting women’s attention is getting “Bottle Service”  at a trendy nightclub to the tune of $1500, and offering club freeloader girls free booze.   (Or even free cocaine.)

So that we’re crystal clear:  It’s not “cheating.”  Bottle-Service is a mechanism set in place for that specific reason.  If that guy was writing articles on how to specifically use bottle service, drugs, and alcohol to get girls to your table in a nightclub, it’d make perfect sense.   However, there is, one problem: That guy wants to give advice on how to meet all sorts of girls in all sorts of circumstances when all he knows is how to use bottle service.

In some ways, the Pure-Game advocate is on the opposite side of the “Buy your way in” guy.  Yet, there is irony here.  In a strange way, they’re exactly the same: They both want to force rigid systems that are designed for specific contexts down people’s throats. They want to push results emanating from a specific context as a solution applicable to all context.

Is what they’re doing legitimate?  Well, sure, you can make a case that anything that works is legitimate.  If you’re looking to get laid, going to a brothel is legitimate.  It gets results.  In fact, it gets results a 100% of the time.  It just should be called for what it is.   It shouldn’t be sold as a shotgun solution for everyone.

There should be a disclaimer: “This advice is meant to get you these types of women in XYZ circumstances.”  That would enable men to understand the APPLICATION of that particular advice.  (Well, come to think of it, that’s one of the goals of this Blog.)

In some ways, this is one of the most elemental flaws in seduction community people: Lack of context. There is  time you tease someone and there is a time, you don’t.  There is a time you can straight forward and tell a woman “I’d love to rip that shirt off of you” & there is a time where it’s inappropriate and completely out of context.

Part of the learning curve is developing the social intelligence to know what to say when, and when to say what. Unfortunately, social intelligence is discouraged (outside of my blog), because it doesn’t fall in line with systems and rigid methods.

One can learn a thing or two from a variety of people.  There are a lot of dating advisors and most of them don’t have very good advice.  You can still take away 10% of their message that is valid.  At the same time, you have to use common sense.  Is the person giving advice seem like someone who seems legitimate?  Does his advice and lifestyle jive with you?

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Sure, I can help you Meet girls.....

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Sometimes in the zeal for quickfix solutions and perhaps amidst of desperation, we can lose our persepctive and common sense.  Hence, let’s look at a severly fat guy, wearing (what appear to be) clown shoes, a big Hawaiian shirt who is proud of being super chunky and mocks those who make phyiscal fitness a part of their life.  He also sounds creepy.  Is this someone you’d normally trust in every day life?  If he sat next to you in the train, you’d jump out the emergency window.  Yet, slap the label of guru on the guy and now, we tend to overlook and ignore our gutfeelings too.

Whom you chose to take advice from is your business, but ask yourself a few basic common-sense questions:

1.     Is this in line with my ethics?

2.     Does this fit my personality?

3.     Does this apply to my lifestyle?

4.     Does this apply to the type of women I want to attract?

5.     Does this apply to the type of relationships I want to have with those women?

6.     Is this sustainable?

7.     Can I imagine this person operating in normal society in a somewhat normal manner?

Look at the above questions and answer them for yourself.  For example, if you read my articles, you’ll see a call to action as far as being involved in physical fitness, dressing better & being well groomed.  If you really insist on dressing poorly like a slob, being disheveled, and reeking of body odor, then my advice is not for you.  (I doubt any advice would work in this case, but find out for yourself.)  On the same token, there are guys who’ll encourage you to wear fishnet shirts, Boas, and devil horns.  If that fits the criteria above, then go for it.  If it doesn’t, maybe you ought to reconsider…….

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