A few days, a female Blog reader emailed me a bit disenchanted with the way I described certain PUAs.  Referring to them as gay was perhaps insensitive, she deemed.  Well, I’ll let you read for yourself.

 Dear Cameron,
 
Since I have your attention, I want to offer you my feedback on something that you posted on your site.
I recently had an encounter with a pua.It is through him that I ended up at your site. I randomly searched the internet trying to figure out what was going on. Things such as ‘pua summit’ etc. I ran across your information and was curious about the female archetypes. Then, this pua worked at an event that you were at and added you to his facebook page as a result.  

I added you too, and now we’re talking. That’s my story but it isn’t what I want to share. Due to this recent experience with a pua, I’ m interested in your knowledge and opinion of the pua community. I greatly appreciated your description of it. I also think that you are a good writer. Certainly not boring.

In your attempt to insult the pua community, however, you called them ‘gay’ for peacocking. You called them ‘gay’ as an ‘insult.’  As a bisexual woman, I wanted to point out to you how this feels to  the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Community. My community is a persecuted minority. We are not granted the basic right to happiness in the form of marriage that heterosexual couples enjoy. We are not entitled to have our relationships recognized and honored in our society. Gays are treated as second class citizens and not as equal members of society. The GLBT community also faces prejudices and attack from most wold religions and often from their own families.

I am pointing out to you that you perpetuated this discrimination and prejudism when you called the puas “gay” as an ‘insult’ to them. I’m asking you to consider whether or not perpetuating discrimination and dislike towards an already underprivileged minority is really necessary for making your point. Thank you for your time and attention.

 Sincerely,
Casandra

 

 

 Thanks for the good words. I am glad you enjoy the Blog posts regarding the “PUAs”.   I think you’re being a bit too sensitive on the issue, but if you’re writing me, there are probably other people who ponder the same questions, so might as well address it now.

I think it depends on which context you look at it. Certainly, in the last three or four years, the word “Gay” has worked itself to the pop-culture denoting something that seems ridiculous. “Dude, stop doing that. That’s really gay,“ is often hear referring to something less than pleasing.   I could see people being sensitive to that context of the usage.

 Clearly, that’s not the context I am using.  As for the community context: Well, look at this way: You have a bunch of guys who are attempting to become “Pick Up Artists” who pick up WOMEN.Furthermore, they really want to insist on wearing this label on their sleeves. The fact that they dress like poorly dressed gay guys creates the conflict and the comedy.

 Let me put it this way: Imagine a group of guys who pride themselves on becoming bodybuilders. That’s all they talk about, and it’s what they constantly brag about. Now, suppose I called these guys a bunch of Skinny Twigs because these proposed bodybuilders do really look like skinny twigs. Should all skinny people reading the comment be a bit offended?

Similar dynamic here. The word gay in and of itself is not asserting an insult. It’s the incongruities within their actions versus the goals of the group that makes the whole thing humorous….And you have to admit, it is funny.

Later
Cameron