Distinction between Promiscuity & Toxicity in Dating

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In part 1, I talked about giveaway signs that a girl is promiscuous.  You should read that article first before you continue on to this one:
How to Spot Promiscuous Girls – Part 1

After reading that, you can take this fun pop-quiz:
Scenario: House party.  Interior.  Night time.
You see a group of girls from a short distance away.  You’ll observe one turn to her friends and loudly say:

“You bitches look so fine tonight!  We totally gotta party it up tonight, but I can’t handle getting as wasted as last Tuesday.  The “E” is so weeeeiiiiirrrrddd…..”

OK, Tell-Tale signs from what you just learned in my last article.  (REAL-LIFE applicative tips you’re not going to find in too many places) :

  1. She casually referred to her friends as “Bitches.”
  2. Realize that “You look so fine tonight,” was a cry for attention, not a compliment.
  3. Talked about being repeatedly wasted.
  4. Wasted on a Wednesday night.
  5. Talked about Doing Drugs. (“E” indicated Ecstasy” )
  6. Used the Skank Tonality while speaking

You keeping track here?  That was 6 clues, and we haven’t even looked at the way she was dressed, make-up, tattoos, body language, and demeanor.

That short 10 seconds of conversation just gave you A LOT Of information.  In 10 seconds time flat, she gave you 6 piece of information.   From that, you can NOW deduce and conclude that it’s 90% likely:

  1. This girls is promiscuous
  2. Will sleep with you tonight if you can create the circumstances. (Attraction + Logistics.)
  3. She seeks attention at every chance
  4. Probably not a career woman
  5. Will tell you stories of “Drama” of her girlfriends often.
  6. She is an Underachiever
  7. Will upgrade on you in a heartbeat to a better party, (more stimuli.)
  8. Thinks she is unique for reasons unknown to the rest of us.

And irrelevant but fun facts:

9.  She probably has a twitter account and tells people what she just ate for lunch
10. Probably gives status updates on facebook 6-8 times on a daily basis.

In fact, if she referred to her friends casually as bitches, talked about doing drugs carelessly while using the skank tonality, this is a mathematician’s dream.  It’s about 99.5% likely she sleeps around indiscriminately.  This is like you counting cards at a blackjack table, you got an Ace, and you’re 99% sure the next card you’re getting is a King. Your chances of taking her home just increased by tenfold.

You recall the guy who wanted to “Just Once” pull a girl back home from a bar?   Lets revisit him. Let’s say he does do that, and now he is feeling very proud of himself.  Problem is you can’t get your ego wrapped in this.

Remember, some of these girls are the type who screw guys indiscriminately.  Sometimes, it’s easy to get your ego caught up in thinking that you have some magical skills.  It may be true that you’re smooth and likable, but also do remember, if it weren’t you, she’d be going home with some other guy she met 5 minutes later.

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  • The Lumberg-Newman Effect

This all may be fine and dandy, until that day you come across the girl who fucked Newman.  (Reference to the Seinfeld episode where Jerry’s date had slept with his disgusting evil neighbor known simply  as “Newman.” )

Better reference yet, you’ll come across the girl who had sex with “Lumberg” from the classic must-see comedy, “Office Space.”

You may even think to yourself that she liked your personality, intellect, humor or just your looks superficially.  Truth of the matter is you met the baseline requirements and let me tell ya: The bar was set VERY low.  If you could walk in a straight line and operate heavy machinery without crashing into a wall, you met the minium standard that night.  Seriously, you’re not that special in that instance and the girl above will be the first to say so.

You’ll scratch your head and think, “WOW, she is willing to fuck that guy?  The Lumberg-Newman mutation?  Are you kidding me?” In that moment, you’ll learn to not so feel special having banged a girl who fucks indiscriminately.  Again, this probably won’t make sense to most guys until they’ve been in that situation, and granted, some guys don’t care at all anyway.  Nevertheless, I think a word of advisory caution is well warranted.

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  • Promiscuity : Not Always about Sex.

Here is the key:  Not all promiscuous  girls are cut from the same cloth.  This is an important distinction to make.  There are girls who play around and experiment just as men do.  Sometimes, it may be a phase, and if your goal is to maintain a monogamous relationship, you can still create that dynamic with that particular type.

Then there are girls who are promiscuous, but also have toxic personalities that will ruin the quality of your life.  The toxic personalities sometimes have sex indiscriminately and it’s not always about sexual pleasure.  The psychological reasons, (Needing validation, feeling of importance, being accepted, or just your various social climbers) are outside of the scope of this article.

It’s not the act of sex or pleasure driven from sex. It’s what it represents and signifies, and that’s just the beginning of the toxic personalities.

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Question for you:  What do you want?

If you’re the 25 year old guy emailing me about how to score, then you just learned that you can take the above girl (in the quiz example) home tonight if you attract her and then create the proper logistics (After party., whatever.)

If you’re the 35 year-old guy emailing me (or whatever age) , saying you want to settle down, get a girlfriend, life partner, wife, or whatever, then run for the fucking hills.  Actually, age is irrelevant.  If you’re looking for a girlfriend, then run, because the above woman will make you miserable.

Marrying her means you’ll watch reruns of “Married with Children” and will identify with Al Bundy, which is not encapsulation of happiness by any means.

Similarly, if you’re a well-adjusted woman who somehow stumbled upon my blog (and you’re not a motherfucking dating coach, or seduction teacher, or porno participant; I specifically said a well-adjusted woman!!) then the same dynamic applies to you.

I have female friends who tell me they want to meet a guy to have a meaningful relationship.  (They’re not ugly or fat, so get that out of your head.)   Meeting some dude who talks about partying all the time, being out til the wee hours of the morning on a Wednesday night is not the type of man you’d want for a relationship.

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  • Examples of TOXIC PERSONALITIES:

 

  • Dramatic Girls.

Take this to heart:  Girls who have these dramatic stories ALWAYS have them.  You could go out with this girl for 6 weeks or 6 months, and every single time you talk to her, there’ll be such a story, about drama.  Between her girlfriend of the same ilk and herself, there’ll be some form of drama.

You’ll run through gamut.  You’ll hear everything from her girlfriend’s boyfriend leaving and taking all the furniture, to her same girlfriend with repeated DUIs (Driving Under Influence of Alcohol) who is in jail again for her 2nd or 3rd DUI infraction, to a recent tiff she’s having with another girl because she said this or that…..

So while you may a 25-year old guy taking the bait of the easy sex, it’s important to walk away from this type. (Unless you’re kinda fucked up yourself, in which case you two will be a good match for each other.)

From a sociology perspective, looking at the Macro-picture from afar, we’d see that these girls will also complain about how guys are assholes and there are no good guys left to date.  The reality is the good-guys they do meet run for the hills, and they’re left with “Player” guys who just want a piece of ass, (And then they run away), and the cycle of complaints keep on mounting.

This is the other reason why these last two articles are important.

*Yes, they  identify girls who sleep around.

*Perhaps more importantly, they identify girls with toxic personalities you should AVOID

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  • Lack of Personal Pride.

This is not to be mistaken with arrogance or rude behavior.  Girls who lack any personal pride or dignity are toxic personalities who ruin the quality of your life through their actions and toxic comments.

Girls who have some sense of personal pride come from a more grounded place.  Part of their sense of self is internally driven.  This is monumentally important because having some sort of internal validation reduces the need for constant stimuli of the external kind.

In layman’s fucking terms: Person with pride is not going to fuck some random guy in order to score drugs and be invited to the cool party.  She does not need to do that in order to feel better about herself or to feel validated somehow.  On the otherhand, the girl with a lack of pride (Self respect) will blow the bouncer to get the chance to fuck the guy with the cocaine and to be invited to that party again.  This is basically a broke Paris Hilton.

To me, when that’s what the word “Slut” represents.  It’s not so much a girl who sleeps with guys for the sheer act of sexual pleasure, but more from the ulterior motives of the act.   My personal definition notwithstanding, women with lack of personal Pride are highly toxic and will ruin your life as well.

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  • Incessant complainers:

You’ll recognize these quickly even if totally inexperienced.  They complain about everything.  I haven’t dated too many of these, but have been around friends who have.

Unfortunately, I watched them destroy the quality of my friends’ lives, and heck, they weren’t even married.  One particular friend really got a raw deal with one of these types.  So, this one hits a sore spot with me personally.

Rest assured that every time you go to a restaurant with the constant-complainer, she will complain about the food, or the service, or the venue (or ALL.)  The food is too cold, too hot, too rich, too lean, too thick, too thin, it arrived late, it arrived too early……. It’ll never stop.  If you spot this behavior, get rid of this type.   Within a few dates, you’ll notice the behavior pattern.

Do not allow the lure of easy sex entrap you into a courtship with the incessant complainer. Enough said.

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In conclusion, be able to distinguish the promiscuous girl from the toxic personality woman.

If you meet the constant complainers or any of the toxic personalities above, get rid of them quickly.  After 1 or 2 dates, cut them away from your life.  You can even be honorable about it.

Use my line if you’d like:

I think you’re a nice person, but we have very different personalities that don’t match well.  We’re both nice people, just too different.

Use that one compliments of me, free of charge.

In essence, you are FIRING that person from your life, except you give it that nice soft touch of being fired from a job respectfully.  “Hey, we think you have a lot to offer, and can excel somewhere else.  Unfortunately, you don’t fit well with our company and our goals.”

It’s honorable, and it’s the truth.  Not all personalities mesh well together.  Just like having good friends in life, having good women raises one’s quality of life. That may be something one of your parents told you when you were 15, but sometimes you gotta go the long way to find out for yourself.

Oh, yea, I almost forgot.  If you want more choice as to the quality of women you date, you owe it to YOU to get my audio product:

16-CD Audio Course on Attraction

Eitherway, the information in these last two articles will go a long way in helping you identify which girls are promiscuous and which ones are the toxic women to avoid.

Addendum:  The point of the last articles (Part 1)  was to help you identify promiscuous women rather quickly.   Not all promiscuous women have toxic personalities, but a good percentage do.   The point of the second article is to help you identify the toxic population of the promiscuous  type in order to save you stress and drama.

It’s like this: You meet the girl I mentioned in the beginning of this article and you hear her discuss Drama and refer to her girlfriends very casually as “Bitches.”  You immediately now know you’re dealing with a toxic personality type (as well as a promiscuous person).  What you do from that point on, is your choice……..

Enjoy

Cameron