How to Spot Promiscuous Women


Oh, how I have another simply awesome blog article for ya.  This time, it’s about tell-tale signs that a girl you’re chatting with in this Bar/Nightclub is promiscuous and will sleep with you pretty quickly.

A little backdrop as to what inspired this article: I am hanging with some pals and a friend of a friend is talking about how he’d like to just once try having a one night stand with a girl he met at a bar.  Just once, he’d like to walk in, meet a girl and take her home. That’s what he tells me!

This is a big deal to him, and while I don’t think of this as some accomplishment, it dawns on me that most men have never done something like this.  To some guys, the completion of this task holds some form of validation.  So, I am going to provide a few tips on some of the secrets of what guys who are good at this are able to do.

Its significance and what it means to you personally “to accomplish this” is between you and your therapist.

Realize the irony of the situation: Women are under the impression that any guy can walk into a busy nightclub filled with drunks and pull someone home. They’ll advise you,  “Hey, just walk into a bar and you can get laid.”   Why do they believe that?  Why does their life experience indicate that?    Because their impressions are formed from the 20-30% of men who ever approach them in these environments.  Now, some of these guys are smooth operators, and some are just aggressive belligerent drunk idiots and play the numbers until they find that straggler.  (See Limping Gazelle game on this blog for reference.)

However, keep in mind that female impressions are formed by the guys that do approach them, not by the majority who sit & look at them from afar. (Which constitutes 80% of men.)

What if you’re one of those guys who has a dream to have a same-night lay? (Let’s hope it’s not your only dream, but one of those things you want to “accomplish” like the guy I mentioned above.)

Even though I barely go to bars/clubs anymore, I’ll throw some pearls of wisdom at ya, and what you do with it is your responsibility.  An important part of having one night stands comes down approaching the proper type of woman who has made it a habit to do this sort of thing.  Granted, there have been times where I’ve met a girl and it led to us sleeping together rather quickly because we had amazing chemistry.  That can happen.  However, you are not loitering at bars seeking for that one individual with amazing chemistry, and let’s face it: You’re in a f**king nightclub.  Most of the people in there aren’t that worthwhile for relationships.

Hence, screening for the proper type is one of the most important parts of the process.  This is a huge part of the puzzle most men miss, and it’s one that “Players” intuitively understand.

In my recent visit to Phoenix, my buddy Jon and I had a fun conversation comparing notes as to what mannerisms these type of  girls display.  This goes back to the archetype stuff I’ve been talking about consistently throughout this blog.

Again, people (male as well as female) fall into various archetypes.  Those archetypes always consistently display the same behavioral patterns.  By identifying the behavioral patterns, we can work backwards to identify the archetype. Think of it as reverse engineering.

Simply put: Promiscuous girls you run into every weekend at bars have certain habits, mannerisms, vernacular, and behaviors that give them away.

Knowing this information helps you in two ways:

  1. Look for the type that is readily available in bars/nightclubs to sleep around with anyone (including you.).  Important distinction is: Don’t think you’re special.  You’re one of many.
  2. Help you cut your losses early & move on if you’re NOT interested in certain types, particularly the likes of ones who come with drama, are just completely dysfunctional.

The second point is just as important.  You may be seeking a relationship.   It’s extremely important to be able to weed out women who are not suitable for you as well.  I am going to address this further in the next article.


Addendum for those who have reading comprehension issues in the comments section of this article:  The article does not imply that promiscuous women are “Bad” people.  However, SOME  of these women (such as drama-addicts) are toxic individuals to have around in your life, and I have specifically noted those.



Signs that the girl you’re talking with in the bar is promiscuous:


  • Tells you about often & repeated bouts of drunken debauchery.

Oh, wow, I was so wasted last weekend, and then got hammered again last night on a Wednesday….  And I have to recover for a party this coming Friday.”

Not an isolated incident but a repeated pattern.  Also safe to say, you can probably assume this is not a career-minded person either.  This girl sleeps around, and may leave with you.  You may have to endure alcohol breath and drunken antics…. but chances are higher she’ll leave with you come last call.


  • Has a lot of guy friends.  Does not get along with other girls. (Credit this one to Jon)

Always competing for attention, has trouble maintaining friendships with women.  Has lots of guy friends, has hooked up with many of them.    (One notable exception to the rule above, I’d like to add: “Alpha-Females”, the athletic “Tomboy” types, but they’re a different breed and more rare to find.  Do a search on this blog and you can read all about “Alpha Females” on as well.)  As a side-note, most alpha-females don’t frequent nightclubs too often.


  • Refers to her girlfriends as Bitches, causally.

Example: “Hey bitches, what’s the plan tonight?”

To me, this is perhaps the greatest tell-tale sign of a girl who is not only promiscuous, but also attention seeking.  I don’t think it has ever failed.  Someday, I may run into one exception, but it has not occurred yet.   Please note the word bitch is used casually.  (Not used in hostility or judgment.)

The amazing (and yet frightening) thing about the casual usage of the word “Bitch” is that it is cross-generational.  I’ve seen 22 year old girls do it, and I’ve been to that Cougar-bar in Manhattan Beach and have seen 40 year old females use it.  Same exact behavior pattern, stemming from the same exact personality type.  They’re also the type to avoid, if you want someone of substance.  As I said, more on that later.

As soon as you hear that casual reference, You bitches look cute tonight,” you already know this chick sleeps around, and most likely, so do all of her friends, including the married ones!!

This is also an immediate sign of a woman you’d never want to pursue a relationship with. (Not because they’re promiscuous, but rather because you’ll find that they’re self-absorbed and very drama prone. Research your own experience.)


  • Tries to talk tough and ghetto.

Example: “I would have fucked her up” or “I’d have knocked out that bitch.”

Fill in the blanks here.  You already know who you’re dealing with.
PS. That’s a double whammy, as she used the word bitch and talked tough. (And we’re talking about White chicks here.)


  • Uses overly dramatic & yet emotionally-empty phrases often,

“I missed you girlie.  You’re so the best!  I love you guys so much…. “

The usage of emotional hyperbole in casual conversation denotes a promiscuous girl.   Basically, it’s like this: You see these plastered on a Facebook page and within 10 seconds, you already know the score…  (because you read my awesome article.)  Just an extra free tip from me when you’re cruising through social media postings.


  • Cigarette Smoking –   Credit Jon for this one.

This is Jon’s greatest tell-tale sign.  There is a correlation between risk taking behavior and promiscuity.  If she is willing to kill her to blow puff to look cool, she is willing to do a lot of other things.  I am not sure how this would correlate in Europe for example, but it definitely applies in the United States where smoking is hugely frowned upon, and specially in California.


  • The Skank tonality.

One of my favorites to joke about.  I don’t even have to see the person’s face sometimes.  If I hear the skank-tonality from behind, I know the type.

It’s difficult to describe that on paper, but these girls sound like every sentence has a question mark at the end of it, and they drag the last word.  “Like, oh my gosh, that is sooo weiiiiiiiiiiiird????”   (weird would sound like “We-Eeeeeerdd?”    It sounds like a question, but it’s not.  It’s a statement.  There was an episode of the TV show “Family Guy”: where little Stewie points this out regarding a girl Brian the dog is dating.  (If you’ve seen that episode, then you exactly know what skank tonality is.)

If you hear that speech pattern, you immediately know two things within a few seconds:

1. Girls sleeps around a lot.
2. May not be gainfully employed.


  • Drama. This is huge!  She is telling you about drama.

“My friend Lisa broke up with her boyfriend, was late to the post office, ran over a cow, had to move out, missed her paycheck, which was eaten by the cow she ran over, that cow was turned into steak, and gave me indigestion because of the paycheck it had eaten…….   Well, I really think Lisa PLANNED All of this to get back at me since she is so jealous of me.”

It never ends….  The drama with her will never end………

I am going to cover “Drama” in the next article, regarding girls you want to run AWAY from. However, when you’ve heard that dramatic story, you KNOW you’ve met someone who’ll sleep with you quickly if that’s what you seek.  This type is also a toxic personality to have around.  (Reading challenged critics, take note.)   If you’re at a place in life where you seek a meaningful relationship with a cool woman, run for the hills if you hear drama stories.


  • Inner Thigh touch-

Jon really wanted to add this one.  I suppose it’s an obvious on some level, and it’s not something you’d experience right away, but a lot of guys are sometimes clueless.  If her hand should brush your inner thigh during the convo, well, it’s pretty much a done deal.


  • Girls who utter the words you, “I hate Drama”.

“Oh, my, Gosh!  I hate drama!  Like, I am so over drama.”

Usually, it’s the girl above whose friend’s paycheck was eaten by the cow telling you this.   Girls who don’t have drama, don’t say “I hate drama” because it does not occur to them.  Now, if you’re the girl above, you deal with it on a daily basis, so the topic is always fresh on your mind.  Since it’s prevalent in your life, you make point to mention it in conversation.

So FYI: As soon as you hear (or read) the following words from a girl:   “I hate drama” or I am so over all this drama,” you know 3 things:

  1. This girl has lots of drama.
  2. She’ll be telling about it often, if you see her more than once. (Poison for a relationship.)
  3. She’ll sleep with you pretty quickly. Yep.


  • She tells you, “I’m trying to be good.”

I don’t even know where to start with this one.  This could be the girl who had to move out of a small town at some point because she was basically ran out.  (yes, I’ve met them,)  If someone is trying to change his/her ways, They don’t say “I am TRYING to be good.”  They just do it.   This is like your buddy who is over-weight telling you he is trying to lose weight….. for the past 3 years.   You get the idea pal…


  • She mentions Drugs.

Talking about drugs, Ecstasy, Cocaine, Speed, is also a sign of girls who sleep around.  Unfortunately, with these girls, it goes beyond sex for just pleasure.  Sometimes, it’s having sex to GET the drugs for free.  And by the way, if you hear “Heroine”, run away.  Don’t walk.  Run.  (Can’t speak from personal experience but I’ve seen enough cracked out people.)


  • She tells you,   “I don’t date.”

“I just don’t date.  I am over the dating thing. I am taking a break from it.”

Jon pointed out this one, and man, it’s true!   

That’s fine!  If you had your cute Star Trek universal translator, what you’d really hear is, “I sleep around, and then complain that I can’t have decent relationships.  I’ll sleep with you too IF you’re very sexual with me.”


  • Self-Proclaimed Bitches

Oh, I am just a bitch”

Girls who tell you in a proud manner, “Oh, I am just a bitch” are promiscuous as well, and also have toxic personalities. This is usually a cry for attention and attempts to claw at holding on self-grandeur.  (Mainly because it doesn’t take any talent or hard-work to be rude.)  Nevertheless, you know she sleeps around.  (Credit Jon for this one as well.)  Having read my blog, when you hear this phrase, you already know the score.   These girls are also toxic for relationships.


  • It’s closing Time AND She is still around.

Yep, it’s 2 AM (Nightclub just closed), people are loitering outside and there they are: Drunk and walking around in circles.  I picked up on this in the period I was going to clubs often, probably because, I was the ONLY sober person at the time.    In my experience, quality women don’t frequent nightclubs on a weekly basis and if they go to celebrate a friend’s birthday, they’re usually out of there sometime around midnight or 12:30 AM.  It’s a strange phenomenon and now you’ll notice it too.  They sort of vanish.  You had a nice conversation, she seemed really cool and poof, an hour later she disappeared.    What you have at 2 am is often the underachiever who is also promiscuous.  I used to know dudes who stayed home til 1:30 in the morning then rolled out to the clubs at closing time just for that reason…..   The fact that she is simply STILL there at closing time is often a sign as well…..



And then we get to the really subtle stuff.  You spend enough time talking to girls, you hone your eyes and ears and cute little subtle phrases tell you that they are promiscuous. These are tiny phrases that most people completely miss.  They seem innocent and completely in the norm, but I catch them, and now, so will you.

Example:  “I Know, right???”

That phrase above, said with a certain flare and tone equals girls who will sleep with you pretty quickly.  Now, they say the phrase frequently, so if you’re tuned in, you’ll recognize it.

Some random individual will read that at some point and say, “Oh come on!  How can you determine someone’s sexual behavior from a few phrases, or sentences?”  And the short answer it that I am just good at identifying people’s characters and behaviors.

Keep in mind that, the above individuals display the same type of demeanor and body language as well.  If you know screen properly, then you have isolated the right type who will leave with you.  Now, it’s a matter of attracting them, and having the proper logistics.  Is there an after party?  Inviting her back to your house?  You have to provide the logistics!  This is information guys you deem as “Players” intuitively know.   Look for this type, have a bit of fluff conversation, it’s closing time, and  hey, let’s have a little after-party.

Congrats.  You now know information that only a small percentage of men are privy to. They may know it intuitively having never broken down consciously, but these are the subtle clues they use to determine the right type.    In the next article, I am going to talk about how to use above information to AVOID certain personality types who will be toxic to your life.  You may be a guy who has his life together but not too skilled with women.  Dating women who love snorting cocaine, who bring drama and then spend countless house telling you how much they hate it, is a terrible idea.   Stay tuned……  for the next article  How To Spot Promiscuous Girls Part 2


PS.  The articles on this blog will have a profound impact on your dating life.  Please realize that they are supplementary and supporting material to what I discuss in my expanded work.  Get a copy of my Ebook here:  Building Attraction Ebook


Addendum 2:

This article seems to be elicit strong reactions.   It’s based on personal experiences and observations at nightclubs.  Keep in mind, I’ve dated girls who have (By common American standards) had a high number of sexual partners.  However, they did not have the toxic aforementioned drama-filled lives.   They were just cool girls whom I dated for a while.  They certainly weren’t having sex for validation or to score cocaine from some dude at a bar.     This seems to be more prevalent in Europe than in the U.S.

On that same note, I’ve gone on FIRST dates where I ended up sleeping with those girls that very first night.  I also ended up dating many of those same girls for quite a while.  (Not random bar hook ups).   You’ll hear this common philosophy from guys often regarding every girl,  “Hey man, if she is doing it with you, then she is doing that everyone, she has no standards.”     I chose to attribute it to great chemistry.  Yes, it’s self-indulgent, but if you’re confident in yourself, you can choose to just as easily believe that she did it because she found you attractive for various reasons, not because she has no standards.   Why take the low self-esteem route that you’re just like every other man she has dated?  Why not take the high self-esteem route that she has super high standards.  (In part 2 of the article, I do cover the Lumberg effect)   Keep in mind, this wasn’t a random night-club encounter.  I said “Dates.”

If you’re an experience guy, you’ll read this article and think, “Yep, yep, yep, that’s right. Haha.   So true!  I’ve seen this, that…..”   If you are not experienced, just look at it as an educational tool for identifying the archetypes of people you will come across in bars & night clubs.  If you’re a girl with decent standards in men, you’ll have a good laugh because you have observed this.  If you’re one of the women who has led the above life, slept with dudes to get free cocaine, you’ll be angry and upset.  Instead of unleashing your anger on me, look at this as a fortuitous event.  Maybe this article is a wake-up call to change your ways by changing your values & beliefs.