I almost threw up today, but it wasn’t induced by any physical ailment.  It sort of happened after seeing another “PUA” [Pick Up Artist] brag about how he has been dating women who are 9s and 10s.  Furthermore, he promises that you too, can one day be as cool as he is.

Everyone is the seduction community is obsessed with bragging to other men about dating 9s and 10s.  I can’t tell you how many “Field Reports” I’ve come across that start with, “I closed a 9.5 today.”

There is a silliness to it all.  You have to appreciate the irony:  These are guys teaching self-confidence who receive validation from bragging about their women to other men on the Internet.   Let’s you and I examine what’s wrong with these claims, both on a superficial level and on a deeper structure.

Designating a woman as a “10″ obviously only alludes to her physical attractiveness.  It’s by no means accounting for personality, intelligence, humor, character, or even being the least bit interesting as a person.  However, let’s accept that definition and let us establish some sort of an agreeable scale.

As a baseline scale, let’s designate a “10″ as a Sports Illustrated Super Model.  Something along the lines of Christie Brinkley, Rebecca Romijn, Angie Everhart type of genetic specimen.  (I threw in a redhead because I know some of you who dig that.)



OK, so is a baseline of what a 10 would (or use your imagination if it’s not good enough for ya).  Once you quantify it, you realize that there are not that many 9s and 10s running around in bunches to begin with.  Let’s assume that there was some secret oasis hidden in an undisclosed location where a plethora of such women were skipping around in large numbers.  Why would they allow sleazy, scummy, creepy Pick-up-teacher-types in that establishment?  That’s a sure way to get the place shut down faster than if you had Rosie O’Donnell as your spokesperson.   And if the scummy, creepy, pick-up teacher types somehow bribed their way, why would such women ever date a guy whose claim to fame is fabricating reports about dating models to men on the Internet?

However,  for the sake of our argument, let’s say a legitimate guy had dated women who are physically 9s and 10s.  Bragging about it makes that dude a superficial jackass.

Look, I am by no means some Bible thumping moral majority leader.  At times, I cuss like a sailor, make crude jokes, and if one of my buddies sleeps with a fat girl, you bet I am going to give him shit for it.  (Just as he would to me.)  It’s all in FUN, and there is no harm in a little bit of ball-busting between friends.

The seduction community takes it to a different level.  Its superficiality runs deep and its ability to produce is shallow.  Furthermore, it creates a deception, one that has men believing that if they’re not dating a woman who is physically supremely attractive, then he is a failure as person.

The king of the pickup artists, Mystery, used to proudly proclaim that he would rather be with a woman whom he perceived to be an 8 physically, but the rest of the world saw as a 10, than to be with a woman whom he saw as a 10, but the rest of the world saw as an 8.  Imagine that!!

These are the values that are being passed down to men who come seeking dating advice.  There is nothing wrong with being attracted to physically beautiful women.  We all are!  It’s a basic fact.  Bragging to the world and trying to make sure everyone knows it is entering the jerk-off territory.

The attitude resembles:  ”What? You just helped the lives of 10,000 people who had been stricken with the latest natural disaster/hurricane/tsunami etc?  Who cares?  What kind of woman did you bang?  What’s the important thing!”

It wasn’t always like this.  It has become progressively worse.  The dating-community was formed to help guys (mostly intellectuals) be able to approach and attract women.  Some suffered from low self-esteem, and/or social anxieties, and some had poor social skills.  With the commercial boom of an industry, it became about promising men a quick fix approach to land the proverbial “9s” and “10s.”  You had guys so creepy, they’d be first on the list of suspects for being the Zodiac killer in 1970s San Francisco, and suddenly those same guys claimed they were getting 9s and 10s, and that they could teach you to do so as well.

It doesn’t stop there.  The dangling of 9s and 10s is further perpetuated when I see a handicapped guy, 3 feet tall, strapped to a wheelchair brag about how he dates 9s and 10s.   Is there no shame left?  And of course, no one dares criticize the content of his message because to question his message is to be met with anger and ridicule from those who will accuse you of attacking his handicap.  (Even though the two are completely unrelated.)

What’s the issue with the guy in the wheelchair dating supermodels left and right?

It’s not that I don’t buy it.  (And no, I don’t buy it.)  It’s that this is the best alternative he could find to give men hope?  To follow through on the same shallow path behind a long list of so called self-indulgent egocentric self-proclaimed “PUAs?”  This is the road he decided to travel?  Is this the best we could do?  Even the guy whose message of hope should be embraced by love and compassion of humanity follows the line of the shallow and soulless pick up artists?

I think his message would be far more powerful had he chosen to make it about triumph, compassion, and inspiration: That for all our shortcomings, we as human beings have the capability to care for each other on a deeper level that defies superficial values.

His story could have been magnificent.  It could have been benevolent. It could have been heartfelt.

Had he come on stage and said that he has a girlfriend and that they both love each other, it would have been touching.  It doesn’t even matter if they have sex.  Actually, it’d even make the message MORE powerful, that he has a decent woman who loves him despite the fact that they don’t have sexual intercourse.

His story would perhaps be reminiscent of the Christopher Reeve story whose wife stuck with him through his tribulations.  I recall seeing several interviews with his wife, Dana Reeve,  several times, one of which was on the Howard Stern show.  Here was a very attractive woman who stuck by Christopher Reeve’s side after his accident.  Maybe she was a saint and they broke the mold after they made her.  Shortly, after Christopher Reeve passed away, so did she.

The story was touching, enough that I’ll never forget it.  Such stories are enduring because they blatantly display compassion and dedication, and make us question our own willingness to be driven on the right path.



Instead, we have yet another guy who brags about how he dates 9s, and 10s.  He is 3 feet tall in a wheelchair and he feels compelled to tell an audience of men that he lives the “Life of a Rockstar” and dates 9s and 10s.

Just another guy who has taken the path of selling superficial values to an unsuspecting audience.   Just another guy whose “Difference” is not conveyed through his MESSAGE, but rather through his physical handicap.  Just another guy following in the footsteps of shallow Pick-up artist types. At the end, it’s just a bunch of guys jerking each other off.

For the small percentage of guys who are still unclear:

It’s not that it’s impossible to date attractive women.  There are a lot of attractive women around even if they’re not the proverbial 10s.  In fact, more than you could ever date in a lifetime.  It’s that objectifying people as a number is a bit shallow.  Bragging about how you only date 9s and 10s is what a douchebag would do.  Caring that other men explicitly believe that you date such women is needy and really silly.  Passing those values down to men who seek dating advice is plain irresponsible and repulsive. Often the messengers are different but their message is the same.

I suppose its only proper to conclude this post with a quote from the brilliant George Carlin:

“I never fucked a 10, but I once fucked five 2s.”



PS.  The articles on this blog will have a profound impact on your dating life.  Please realize that they are supplementary and supporting material to what I discuss in my expanded work.  Get a copy of my Ebook here: Building Attraction with Women