Innergame, Confidence, Self Esteem,


Let’s talk Innergame.

Firstly, the word “Innergame”, what the f*ck does that mean?

What if you stumbled upon my blog from some walk of life and saw the phrase “Inner-game?” Would you know what it is?  Maybe you don’t and so let’s spend a minute defining what it is.

Inner-game refers to self-confidence. What is having confidence mean and where does it stem from?  Ultimately, (and to spare you pages of pseudo-analysis,] it stems form a Strong Self Image.  The core of confidence is a very high noteworthy perception of one’s self-image.  Building a strong self image for a man/woman who suffers from a low one takes time.  It’s a gradual process and there are sometimes obstacles to overcome and experiences to let go.

When it comes to “Inner-game”, I am not going to pretend to be some know-it-all sitting on top of the mountain prophesizing.  I am also not some guy interested in taking photos of myself with skimpy clad women and spreading them over the Internet to show how much better I am than the next guy.  I am just going to share things that have helped me out through the years and maybe you’ll find them useful.  Maybe you’ll find some value in it as well.  So without further delay, here are some bullet points of I’ve personally found helpful to me:

  • Doing things I am passionate about, (or pursuing goals in accordance.)
  • Keeping true and honest with my own self-expectations of myself.  (This is different for everyone.  You know your own expectations best.)
  • Living my life in a way that resonates with my core-values.
  • Spending time with people who share my core-values,

Also, as a therapy tool, I am a big proponent of hypnotherapy.  By the way, it should be mentioned that I am NOT giving anyone medical advice.  I am just sharing my opinions and personal experiences.  So back to the topic: When I say hypnotherapy, I mean Traditional Hypnotherapy that applies “Back to the Cause” and “Regression.”

I am not talking about NLP.  At some point, I’ll blog about Hypnotherapy and how it helps in the process of enhancing one’s self-image.

The shame of the seduction-community is that it took elements of Hypnosis and tried to sell it as a device to get “Women into bed.”  It’s sleazy, irresponsible, and it doesn’t really even work.  More than that, as Eddie Murphy blurted out in Beverly Hills Cop, “they fucked it up for everybody.”  Instead of a therapy tool, it’s now viewed upon as a sleazy person’s attempt to bed women.

Why do I not endorse NLP?  Because I have never found it helpful to ME personally.  If you’re a fan, that’s great.  Don’t write me lengthy emails with your arguments about how great it is.  It did not work for me, nor did it work for anyone else I know. Some guy/girl has had an issue for 20 years and the NLP crowd thinks they can solve it in 5 minutes?  That’s great.  I wish they could.  However, having someone shrink one image, make it black and white, enlarge another image, make it vibrant and colorful does not suddenly make the issue disappear.

Essentially, I’ve had the same experience other people have had:  Someone sat you in a chair, told you to play a picture like a movie, forwards/backwards, scratch it, make it black and white, give it color, etc, etc, etc…..  And it felt good for about a good 20 minutes. Heck sometimes even an hour or two.  The same concerns or anxieties returned shortly after.  (Maybe you’re supposed to this activity every single day, but it’s never communicated that way.)  Important note: I am not saying there is no value in NLP.  I am merely stating that trying to fix one’s issues through a 10 minute (or an hour or two even) shifting of imagery has a quick temporary effect.  It’s not a solution.

So you could NLP all you want, and you could have wannabe spiritual quacks tell you that all you have to is “Let go of ego” and all of your problems are solved.  It’d also be great if the tooth fairy put a few hundred dollars a day underneath your pillow for all the back pay cumulated through the loss of billions of teeth every year on the planet.

However, you probably live in the real world, and real world people ought to have a real world game plan.  Figure out what you gotta do to drop the baggage your carry from the past, and start motivating yourself to go after what you want.  Find your source of inspiration.  In fact, I like to find what I call “Little bits of inspiration.” They come from all over the place, and they’re all around us.  It could be a feature on TV about a professional athlete or the story of a guy being able to walk again after doctors had told him he’d never walk again.

I find that these stories of people rising above their conditions to be inspirational.

In fact, the following clip below has helped inspire me far more than all of the NLP persons I’ve ever come across combined.  The great philosopher Rocky Balboa is inspirational as usual and Sly Stallone shows us again that he really can act despite his bad reputation earned for doing a lifetime of action-adventure movies.

I find that watching this scene lights a fire under your ass that serves as a call to action. Every step forward is taking us one step closer to where we want to be, and taking us away from undesirable conditions.

My friend who is battling cancer finds this clip inspirational and if it helps him, it can help anyone.  It’s probably worth watching once or twice a week and it only take a few minutes of your time……..  (And best of all, unlike too much NLP, it will not make you creepy.)

Quick set up: In case you have not seen the movie, (You really should watch the film. There really is no excuse for not having seen it, unless you live in some war-torn village.  Rocky’s son is complaining that he has no one’s respect in life, and that everything he has achieved is due to his famous legendary father.  Below is Rocky’s reply.  Watch it a couple of times, and then, go do something you’ve been putting off as of late.

You may feel like you’re in the trenches right now, and maybe you’re not where you want to be.  You feel like you’re in the muddy trenches, suffering the freezing cold brutal weather conditions, while fighting nagging painful mosquito bites, but you keep moving forward; One Step at a time.  That’s how real change takes place.  It may be painful now, but you Keep Moving Forward……

Enjoy the clip,  (and Keep Moving Forward.)



PS.  The articles on this blog will have a profound impact on your dating life.  Please realize that they are supplementary and supporting material to what I discuss in my expanded work.  Get a copy of my Ebook here: Building Attraction with Women