Approaching Women Directly, Part 8

Beliefs, Actions, Innergame-Outergame Bridge


Today, I am going to talk about some of my personal beliefs that I deconstructed after reflected back on my interactions recently.  Hopefully, you did the assignment yesterday and thought about yourself image, and what your catch phrase would be.

Remember that this catchphrase helps as a reminder to help keep you moving forward.  It also allows your actions to be in alignment with your beliefs.

The following are examples of some of my personal beliefs.  I am going to list the belief, then discuss how that belief affects my actions and behavior in real world applications.  Again, as a reminder: These are not thinks I think about.  They’re more realizations that many of my actions stem from these beliefs.

  • Personal belief: I am fine with whatever results occur.

This was a tough belief to ascertain.  If you’re well indoctrinated in the “Seduction Community” you have to overcome so much community conditioning to internalize this belief.  This is one of the essential differences between “Naturals” and community people. A natural takes a shot and forgets about it 10 minutes later.  He does not dwell on it!  A community person analyzes what could have been done differently for days to come. He’ll spend much time in neurosis.

So have a positive self image, be confident in your abilities, and hone your conversational as well as foundational skills.  From there, be OK with the fact that sometimes other people may not like you.  In sports, business, and academics, the motto is work harder, get better results. It’s a tried and true formula.  The only exception of it is in attraction.  You can’t try harder and harder to make someone like you.  In fact, it’s counterproductive.

You can work on personal skills, but trying ever so hard to make another person like you actually may even back fire at some point. Hence, I eventually had to learn what my older & wiser friends had already known: You asked someone out?  She doesn’t want to go? Big fucking deal.

I have to give a quick disclaimer here: By no means am I advocating mediocrity.  If your results are consistently poor then you take steps to improve them.  However, once you get your shit together, there’ll come a point where you realize that cold-approaching is a low percentage game.  You may approach 10 women and have 5 or 6 good interactions.  You could have Brad Pitt’s looks, George Clooney’s charming personality, Arnold’s body in his prime, and Donald Trump’s bank account/assets.  Some women will still blow you off for whatever reason during a cold-approach….. And that’s OK.

Here is some extreme candor for ya:   Being OK with the results was extremely tough BECAUSE of the seduction community conditioning.  I could have a cold-approach interaction that went OK but didn’t work out and there is someone to want to provide a solution on how you could have improved it.  “Hey man, you should have done routine X,Y,Z, then did some open clown micro-loops , then pulled back, then did cocky funny, then closed the clown micro-loop, after running an NLP Pattern.    Then you would have gotten that girl.”

“Really?  Seriously?  Go fuck yourself you freak!”  Is how I’d reply to the previous statement now days.  I may not even say that, but I think it.  Is this right for you?  You decide for you.  It’s harsh and crass and It works for me.

  • Next personal belief: I am not going out of my way to impress anyone.

Now, I have to give another disclaimer: Sometimes that strategy can work.  I am just not willing to do it so I can get laid.   Concrete example: In LA, you’ll meet a lot of women who are aspiring models, this, that or the other.  A lot of guys play the name-dropping game, “Oh, I know so and so…. [name-drop someone influential.]  You should come to this event with me.  Maybe we’ll meet him/her.”

Sometimes, this is even taken to a blatant extreme.  In some cases, a guy will make a blatant “Come to my house for drink and sleep with me, and I will provide the connection.”

That might work.  Regardless of what form it is, I don’t want to do it.  If I had played that “Hey, I can hook you up with so and so” game, I may have even gotten laid out of it.  I am just not willing to do it.  (This ties into the first belief, I am OK with the results.)

Now, you may think, “Hey, I don’t live in a big city, and I don’t have any modeling connections.”  True, but going out of your way to impress comes in different forms.  It could be something as simple as you changing your schedule to constantly accommodate someone while they take no action to reciprocate.

It’s perfectly fine to show interest in someone and be direct with your intentions.  I’ve already covered that in the previous part.  It’s important to not go out of your way to impress someone you barely know.  Doing a favor for friends is not an attempt in impressing them, it’s just being a good friend.

A little bit of social intelligence needs to be applied here.  If you’re on a date and you open the door for a woman, that’s OK.  This is where community people get it wrong.  They act like pricks in order to avoid trying to impress people.  Don’t be a prick.  Be a gentleman, but don’t go out of your way to impress women.

  • Next personal belief: I am the main event.

What does that mean?  This isn’t a pro-wrestling match.  It simply means that whatever we do, go to a house party, museum, we are going because we want to spend time together,

The event may be cool, the activity will be fun, but the main draw is me.   So the activity could be something ever so simple as going hiking, but then, the point is “You’re ALSO going to spend time with me.,”  Otherwise, “Heck, you could hike with 1000s of other guys, or your girlfriends….even.”    (please keep in mind, the quotes are not literally spoken.)

The reason I mention this point is that it’s easy to get sucked into selling just an event to get a girl to go out with you.  And you know what?  It’s OK to sell the event as long as you convey that, “Hey, it’s going to be a lot of fun AND we’re going to enjoy it together.”

This doesn’t have to verbally expressed, but you ought to convey it in your communication.  I often see guys complain that they invited the girl to some lavish extravagant event and at the end of the night, she left him without so much as a kiss on the cheek.  Two Points:

  1. You shouldn’t be inviting a woman you barely know to such a lavish event.
  2. You should be selling you, not the event.

These are what I call the “Innergame, Outergame, Bridges.” They’re internal beliefs that manifest themselves into outward behavior and as well as action.

Concrete example:

You invite a girl/woman you’re interested in to engage in an activity with you.  This activity could be something as simple as going hiking to going to a museum, to going to a “Hole in the Wall inexpensive new restaurant”.  The point is for it to allow you two to hang out, have fun, and establish chemistry/rapport.

She meets you somewhere, and suddenly, she starts giving you issues.  “That seems boring.  I don’t care to do that.  Let’s go to such and such place.”

(By the way, this relates back to my Archetype Article.  Certain Archetypes of women will pull this sort of thing on you often!  See my Archetype Article on this Blog for reference afterwards.)

OK, so now she wants to change the plans.  And it’s not like you’ve planned to go to the top of Empire State Building and she is so afraid of heights, she’ll experience a panic attack.  That’d be justified.  It’s more that she finds your simple hobby boring.

What do you do?  The natural tendency is to go, “OK, fuck it! I want her to have a good time, so let’s do what she says.”   (And Yes, this is happened to me personally, and I learned from making mistakes.)

The minute you break your decree and grit, you’ve already lost.  This is where you have to communicate that the point of you two spending time is to have fun and get to know each other.  This is where you think back to having read this Blog and think, “Ahhh, WAIT! I AM THE MAIN EVENT.”

And what if she doesn’t want to see you?  Back to the earlier belief. [I am fine with whatever results.]  That means you’re willing to let go, because there are women that will appreciate going to that museum with you.  (Provided they’re interested in you to begin with obviously.)


So a quick recap:

After breaking down my own approach in doing things, I came up with some of the following beliefs and actions:

  1. Create a Tagline or catchphrase that explains your personal Self-Image of you.
  2. I am fine with whatever results.
  3. I am not going out of my way to impress anyone.
  4. I am the main event.

Since I’ve been on the Bruce Lee motif in recent posts, here is another quote:

One can never be the master of his technical knowledge unless all his psychic hindrances are removed and he can keep the mind in the sate of emptiness (fluidity), even purged of whatever technique he has obtained-with no conscious effort.

All the technique is to be forgotten and the unconscious is to be left alone to handle the situation, when technique will assure its wonders automatically or spontaneously- to float in totality, to have no technique is to have all technique.

What does that mean in simplified terms?

Beliefs are to be internalized into the subconscious where they shall determine your actions without thought.   Hence, if a woman rejects an idea for a date because she thinks the activity is “Boring,” then she can do something else, by herself!  Your reaction automatically results from the subconscious beliefs that I just mentioned above.   You don’t have to think about, ponder it, or seek advice regarding the matter.  You just react based on instinct.  Instinct that has been honed properly from internalized beliefs of a fluid mind.

Part of the goal is to learn to become a more interesting and appealing person overall.  The other part is improving your self-image, confidence, and internalizing beliefs that empower you.  This is what I call the “Innergame-Outergame Bridge.”

If you work on these elements, your success will inevitably rise for you are improving yourself to become more attractive naturally.

That, my friends, is how you DEVELOP “Natural Game.” There is no other way to learn it.  I hope some of this is starting to click for you now.

And unabashed, I’d add that if you find what I teach useful to you, and you enjoy the manner in HOW I teach it, then you owe it to yourself to get a copy of my  Building Attraction Audio Course.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s article.  An important recap summary of what we have been covering daily for the past week!