Part 9. The Whole Nine Yards.  Recap of the series.

In my experience, most of the guys who seek dating advice on the Internet are often very logical, left-brain oriented people.  Part of my goal is an attempt to bridge that gap between the expressive side of the brain and the analytical side.

With that thought in mind, I am writing a general outline of what’ve covered so far, displayed in a manner that is easy to understand for the analytical person.  Keep in mind that this is not a system or something you should memorize.  This is a guide.   A guide to ideas and beliefs that give you a starting point.  (Or help you identify where you’re stuck currently.)  Think of it as a checklist on how to develop yourself to become more attracive & appealing to women.

  • Non-verbal part of the communication supercedes the verbal.
  • Your Attitude determines whether people buy what you say or not
  • Getting caught up in seduction school doctrine is really silly
  • Learn to understand the difference between a “Direct Opener” vs. being direct with your intentions
  • Look at where you are currently with your comfort level with women
  • If you’re not comfortable, your focus should not be on systems, methods or becoming a ridiculous pick up artist.
  • If you’re more comfortable socializing with women, then focus on how you want to present yourself.
  • How you present yourself and what type of “Game” you run depends on your identity.
  • Your presentation is based on the self-image of yourself.
  • Come up with a tagline or catchphrase for your self-image
  • This will help you anchor down an identity for yourself that you can recall instantly.
  • Your self-image must be believed by you!  That’s what matters the most.
  • Think about the actions you’ve taken in the past in dating women.
  • What beliefs were the precursors to those actions?
  • Evaluate your conversational skills
  • Remember that just because you can throw a conversational opener at a girl, it doesn’t mean she is going to be jump all over you.
  • Deer in the Headlights-look, is rather likely.
  • Sometimes, the direct-opener is the best option
  • In my experience, situational openers with mutual-interest work most efficiently.  They’re incredibly smooth.
  • The type of conversational opener one uses does not dismiss possessing the ability to FLIRT with women
  • The failure to flirt effectively  with women is one of the primary reasons why men squander many of their encounters with women after they get the conversation going.
  • Be careful of taking blind advice from dating gurus and self-help gurus in general.
  • Be weary of anyone who tells you it’s ok to be a fat slob.
  • Be weary of anyone who chooses to give you dating advice while he/she looks like disheveled slob.  Run for the hills.
  • Bear in mind that many such persons, much like cave dwelling cannibalistic trolls, are misfits and outcasts of our society.
  • Hence, be able to balance being able to push your comfort zone and yet be socially savvy.  (See Blog post on pushing your comfort).
  • “Social Grace,” still is a fact of life.  Wearing fishnet shirts, devil horns and gigantic goggles on top of fuzzy hats is not pushing boundaries.  It’s just ridiculous and makes you look like a freak.
  • If your conversational skills are poor, your interactions will suffer.
  • No amount of methods, negs, cocky/funny, will ever compensate for poor conversational skills.  EVER! Get that through your head or you’ll always suffer.
  • Read my 3 free PDF reports on “Natural Conversational Flow.” It’s a good starting point on conversational dynamics.
  • Develop your social intelligence.  Focus on being more socially savvy.
  • Possess High Social Intelligence first, then Learn to Push Social Boundaries.

And to backtrack a bit to my earlier Blog entries:

  • Decide what archetypes of women you’re interested in.  (See my Blog posts on Archetypes and Demographics.)
  • Develop an Edge for yourself in addition to many of the fundamentals I just mentioned above.  Without fundamentals, the edge is meaningless.  (See my blog post on “Do you have an Edge?”

There it is.  A recap of the past week and a half of entries.  If were to focus on playing basketball and practicing your skills consistently 3 to 5 days a week for the next 6 months, your basketball skills will have improved remarkably from what they are now.

Similarly, if you hit the gym and take in the proper nutrition for the next 6-8 months, you will look and feel significantly better than you do now.

Just as similar, if you focus on the stuff I mentioned above, you will inevitably achieve success.  That’s the good news.  If you want overnight magic pills or super-duper NLP patterns that make women bow down to you, be prepared to be without the company of females.  Become familiar with celibacy.

On a positive note, practice improving the fundamental skills and watch yourself grow to new heights in any endeavor, that includes meeting, attracting, and dating women. Be willing to put in the work.  You will reap the rewards.

Take care


ps.  If you stumbled upon this Blog, or need a refresher from time to time, Start from Part 1 of this series and work your way up to this Summary.  It’ll be more practical to implement this way

Building Attraction with Women