Seduction Community Myths: They’re all Tests!
“After drinking 2 bottles of water, she said she desperately had find a bathroom to pee. Is she testing me?”
Sometimes, a little common sense goes a looooong way.
Continuing with my tradition of shattering Seduction-Community myths, I am going to tackle the idea of “Tests by women” today.
The idea of tests or “shit-tests” came about as a result of guys cold approaching women and running into certain consistent patterns of behavior. It was then further compounded by pick-up theorists who enjoyed reading a lot of books on evolutionary psychology. These books, while intellectually appealing, turned already fearful men into even more paranoid beings.
So then, do women test men? Actually, yes, sometimes they do. Then again, sometimes, it’s not even a conscious test. Sometimes, it’s par for the course. Sometimes, it’s just things people do and whether you stand fast by your ideals or relinquish them in order to appease someone else determines your ability to pass these tests.
If you’re cold-approaching women in bars (especially the club-skank variety), the amount of these little games exponentially increases. I don’t know what it is but something about frequent nightclub patrons brings out the worst in human behavior.
So you have to learn how to pass these tests. Sometimes they’re subtle. It may be a simple question such as, “All you want is just sex, isn’t it?” Or it may be a simple statement such as “I am not sleeping with you tonight.“ How do you answer that? Do you know??
Your reply could be one sentence also, but that one sentence, could determine if the interaction moves forward or if you’re basically done. That exchange may literally take 10 seconds to transpire. Those seconds could either help you really get in with her, or they could really blow your chances of moving forward. This might be where a guy who is considered a “Natural”, one who generally does well with women wins over the guy who consisently falls short. The former instinctively knows the right response. The latter has no clue.
But then is everything a test? That’s when we get into silly areas of the community. I remember having a recent conversation with Jon [AKA Sinn] who was telling me about a seduction-forum where a student asked, “She just told me her sister has cancer. Is she testing me?”
Wow, is this the level of paranoia that people degrade to? If that’s a test, what isn’t a test? What can you possibly rule out as not being a “Test” at this point? What if a hurricane wiped out her house? Where can you possibly stop at this point?
“She said, she is starving! She hasn’t eaten all day. I wonder if it’s a test! What’s the proper reply to the hunger test? If I only could contact a wise dating-guru right now.”
Guess what? Not everything is a test. It’s the freakazoid behavior of well indoctrinated community folk that takes simple everyday questions/comments and turns them into deep grandiose matters of inter-galactical importance.
Women are not out to get you. They’re not sitting home plotting how to fuck you over. They are not some unknown species. Some day, I don’t know when, Dating gurus will come to see that women are people too.
Unfortunately, one of the byproducts of the community is paranoia about tests. There is even one dating advisor who goes around saying, “Everything out of her mouth is a test.” He is a nice guy too. I just don’t want to imagine what it’s like to walk around life with that sort of paranoid thinking in my head.
“Oh shit! She just said, I have stomach cramps. It hurts. What kind of a test is this one? Oh shit, oh shit!”
“She just said she is busy this week, but asked if we could get together next week! Oh shit! What if she is just using me by keeping me around all week, making me linger.”
Look guys, sometimes a little observation of normalcy is a good thing. It’s what I like to do too. That means take a look at one of your friends who is involved in a relationship, preferably a couple who are somewhat normal, not ones camping outside Star Wars conventions dressed like Vulcans. (Which would be reallyyyy fucking weird. Geeks who showed up to the wrong geek convention.)
Hence, look at one of your pals who has had a girlfriend for a few years and see what they do. Sometimes, it’s going out to dinner, enjoying a couple of drinks, to come home, relax and watch reruns of “Law and Order” which they recorded on their Tivo. Sometimes, they have arguments and they find a way to resolve the issue.
At least, that’s my observation.
They’re not out to get each other. Similarly, women are not out to get you and they’re not sitting strategizing to take you down. They’re not plotting against you and given a choice to meet a cool guy versus being single, most women would take the “Meeting a Cool” guy option. That’s it.
There are some women are manipulative bitches from hell, and there are some men who are complete scumbags who probably deserve to be hit by a baseball bat. It goes both ways.
Beliefs and actions like paraoia about women being evil is one of the main reasons why people outside of my close friends do not know I am involved in this business. (Well, that compounded by the fact that many dating teachers are creepy mofos.) So please, keep this our secret.
Wait, I guess I am just not that “Alpha.” Otherwise, I’d wear this job on my sleepve….. Which brings me to the subject of another community myth, “Alpha Male Behavior,” but that’ll have to wait for another Blog Post.
By the way, what is the proper response to the examples I mentioned above? How should you reply to, “I am not going to sleep with you tonight?“ Well, for that, you may want to get a copy of my audio course. I spend a good 45 minutes to explain what is a test and what is not, and then provide a formula that you can use for the rest of your life to answer such questions. If you want to learn that, it’s up to you.