10 Real World Dating Tips for the Normal Guy


What if you’re interested in getting Dating Advice but you’ve never heard of the seduction community?   Some of the stuff I write is geared towards person who are somewhat indoctrinated in the community.  Most who find their way to this Blog are somewhat aware of it.

But then what if you stumbled on to my Blog somehow by coincidence and you are just a normal dude who wants to be better at attracting women.

Today’s blog post is a simple list of things you can work on to attract more women in your life.  The point of focus will be different for various groups of guys, but needless to say, this is a broad list for someone who is not confused and baffled by various conflicting community advice.

So, the following are a list of 10 points you can work on, in no particular order.

Practical Dating Approach for the Real world guy.

1. Become more comfortable with women

Most guys could benefit from this advice, but in particular, this bullet point refers to the subset of guys who have a lot of male friends and are social dudes.  They are fine to joke around with and express themselves around the fellas but then, something happens when they are in the company of women.

They start acting weird.  The shining personality they portray around their friends disappears and gives way to a meek that doesn’t have much to say.

One of the best remedies to eradicate this particular is issue is to have more female friends. Hang out with more women.  Make female friends & spend time with these female-friends.  You’ll note that they are just people like everyone else.  They have their own goals, ambitions, insecurities, and so forth.

2.    Attain/develop more Social Intelligence.

This is one of the most crucial and yet overlooked areas of dating.  A lot of dating gurus are quick to teach methods and systems but don’t really emphasize real social intelligence.  There is a time to be aggressive, and there is a time to pull back.  You ought to understand logistics, and circumstances, as well as the context of your meeting.

Meeting someone at a drunken college Fraternity party will carry a different vibe than meeting someone in a professional setting.  You have to recognize the difference and know what works in which situation.

3.      Become More Interesting/Appealing

The world is full of men who are accomplished in one particular way but are complete bores in another way.  You come across guys who have chiseled beefcake muscular bodies but can’t maintain the interest of a woman for 10 minutes.  When they fail in their endeavor to maintain that interest, they conclude that the answer must lie in adding another half inch to their biceps.

No.  The answer lies in being more interesting/fun as a person.

A while back, a distant acquaintance invited me to a party in the Hollywood Hills.  I went along with a female friend and was amazed by this man’s house.  A giant backyard with a  pool and Jacuzzi that overlooked the city lights of Los Angeles, somewhere worth over 7 million dollars.   It turns out the guy can’t find a decent woman for a relationship.   I don’t know how he made so much money but you’d rather stick yourself with needles than have a conversation with this dude.

He is boring.  And yes, there are plenty of gold digger types who’d love to wed him but that’s not what he wants either.  Not sure if he found himself a girlfriend.  (Haven’t been invited back since.)   Point is:  You can have all that money, but if you’re that boring, you’re going to have trouble attracting quality women.

4.  Learn how to Flirt

This is of the utmost importance.  I’d say 99% of men who seek dating advice have no clue how to flirt with a woman effectively.    This is a skill by itself.  It CAN be learned.  Reading spiritual books is not going to teach you flirting skills and obfuscating/mind fucking yourself in NLP is not going to teach it either.

Sometimes, it’s a simple smile or a wave at someone.  Stare too long and it’s creepy.  Don’t do it at all and you’re a pussy.  There is an art to it.  It can be name calling, touching or poking someone, and sometimes, it’s a simple facial expression.  No words are even exchanged.

Women are very keen on this and they’ll pick it up much more than you think.

5.  Understand the Process of Attraction

Get an overall map as to what it takes to be good this process.  This doesn’t mean you need a method with 45 steps broken into alphanumerical components.  It does help to realize WHAT sparks attraction in a woman, and how you can best utilize your assets to create that attraction.

It’s probably a good idea to know what destroys attraction as well.  A lot of guys fail in their efforts because they repeat the same mistakes which happen to be turn-offs to women.

Understanding the process also gives you some real world practical ideas on how to approach women and start up conversation.  There are various ways/methods you can use to approach women and discovering which ones work for you is part of this process.

6. Improving your Confidence

Yeah, I know, This is  broad and cliché, and the truth is that I could write article upon article just on this topic alone. At the core, it’s about improving your self-image which also leads to having more empowering beliefs about yourself.

Like my good natural buddy always says,  “A Moron with confidence could be good at picking up women.”  He has a good point.  Sometimes, the more intelligent the person, the more he/she tends to analyze things.  Sometimes a drunken idiot has a leg up on the brainiac intellectual.   The drunken idiot doesn’t even realize that he is an annoying drunken idiot and that works for him to some extent with a certain type of girl.

Feel free to read my Blog posts, “How to Strengthen Your Innergame” Parts 1, 2, and 3.

7.  Know what type of Relationships you want.

This applies even more  so for the older guys.  OK, when you’re 21, you just want to meet girls and you can’t be bothered with such sophisticated  & complex questions.  Once you’re past your early 20s, you ought to have a good clear idea of what type of relationships you want.  Do you want a girlfriend/wife?  Do you want friends with benefits?  Do you want one-night stands?   Do you want to date a “Bunch of Women” to see what’s out there?  Get an idea of what you want.  That leads to the next point

8. Know what type of Women you like

And no, the answer is not “Hot women.”  We are not talking about physical looks here.

If you read this blog often, you surely are aware of how much emphasis I put on Archetypes and Demographics. Identify what type of women you get along with, and you’ll quickly stop wasting your time on ones who are not a good match for you.

Now this is where the last bullet point about “Type of relationships” becomes consequential.  If you’re looking for one night stands, then you can identify which types are more apt to be along for that type of thing.  On the same note, let’s say you’re the type who wants to party and go out 5 nights a week spending your time in a drunken haze.  You’re going to attract people of the same ilk.  An ambitious woman who has her life together, in most cases, is not going to be attracted to the guy who has nothing going for him except that he likes to drink & party.

A stripper, on the other hand,  may love you.

For reference, be sure to read my articles on this Blog regarding Demographics and “How Archetypes affect your success” parts 1 and 2.  You’re not going to find anything like it anywhere else…..

9.  Develop more Balls/ Reduce neediness.

How to explain this best:  George Costanza from TV show Seinfeld isn’t sexy.  He is constantly second guessing himself and he is constantly seeking the approval of every single person around him.  He lies, cheats, and deceives in order to make himself appear to be more appealing.  It’s funny on a TV show.  In real life, it’s attraction suicide.

At some point, gotta man up.  Make a decision, act on it, and be a man about it.   A good example of constant neediness in body language and behavior can be seen in the character “Mike” played by Jon Favreau in the movie “Swingers,” or the “Miles” character in the movie “Sideways.”

Eradicating needy behavior is a huge step towards success.  If you find yourself having a lot of women as “Just Friends,” this is one of the areas you have to pay more attention to, as well as to the next point.

10.  Become Comfortable with your Sexuality.

This is different than point 1 which was about being comfortable talking to women in general.   Now, we are taking it a step further.

The knee-jerk response to this point may be, “I already am.”    Sure, when most guys are naked behind a computer screen masturbating to porn on the Internet, they’re comfortable in that moment.   Sit them on the sofa at a party next to a live woman, and watch them contemplate going for a kiss, and you’ll see differently.

Part of knowing WHEN to go for the kiss applies to social intelligence.  Having the ball to go for it denotes confidence.  (These points tie together.)  On the same token, you have to become comfortable that you’re a man and that communicating sexual interesting is natural and normal.  Somehow things became discombobulated in modern times, but letting a woman know you’re sexually interested is fine.

This doesn’t mean you force yourself on someone and it doesn’t mean you flash unsuspecting strangers while wearing a trench coat.  It’s just being cool with your sexuality and furthermore, being able to accept that some women will not be interested for whatever reason.


There you have it.

A game plan applicable for any guy despite how clueless he may be regarding women.   Depending on that person’s sticking points, each individual must focus on select points from the list above.

While focusing on these 10 points, you should keep the basics in mind.  Grooming, dressing well, and being well presented is a big part of the puzzle as well.  I wish I didn’t have to mention it the obvious, but these fundamental basics are often completely overlooked.


PS.   Building Attraction with Women Ebook.  It’ll change your Dating Life forever. If you liked what you just read, you’ll love reading the Ebook.