Purpose & Identity 





 You’ve seen this story before.  You’ve heard about it in real life, seen stories in the movies.  It’s the successful professional athlete who retires and finds himself confused running in circles.  It can happen to anyone but in athletes, it’s more profound and noticeable.  When a person hits his mid to late 30s, he/she can no longer perform at the world class athletic endeavors competing against 20 something year olds. 

 With the emergence of HGH and steroids, you may even push it to 40, but at some point, that athlete, once one of the top performers of his sport amongst an entire planet of people, is forced to retire from his  profession.  Sometimes, you can see the person nose dive into a tail spin going nowhere quickly.  Perhaps it’s too much of a cliche, but it is that for a reason.  Soon, the aforementioned individual becomes a fat depressed alcoholic and suddenly, you can’t even recognize him anymore.


  • He has been stripped of his identity. 
  • He has been stripped of his purpose.

 You have to understand that for that individual, that sport has been the basis of his identity and life since he was probably 12 years old.  That’s all he has ever known.  He was a boxer, or a basketball player and as long as he was a boxer, things were simple.  There was the off season, there is practice time, then there are the actual games/matches, there are playoffs, and championships to pursue/attain. There is purpose to all of this: There are titles to be won, once won, titles to be held. New challengers shall emerge and one must fend them off.

 That hardened clear sense of purpose comes to an end when that athlete retires.  He also loses his sense of purpose.  Now, he gets up in the morning and he doesn’t know what to do.  He has all the money he’ll ever need, so he doesn’t have to work and he doesn’t need to worry about paychecks.  It’s a position and luxury most people in life will never come to know.  So, what the hell does he have to be so upset about? 

 He doesn’t know who or what he is anymore.  He is a man without purpose.  A man stripped of his identity and purpose is bound to collapse psychologically.  You’ll find former athletes who reinvent themselves as broadcasters or game analysts.  Some ffind other careers and/or become coaches.  Some take on the task of fatherhood and become dedicated fathers.  What in particular they choose to do is irrelevant.  It’s that they must find a sense of identity, and purpose once again.

 Why do I use athletes as an example?  Because they’re often in the spotlight and their stories are easy to relate to.   As you may have gathered, this story isn’t about athletes at all.  It’s about all people.

Speaking of athletes, I think a good example is Magic Johnson.  Magic was my favorite athlete growing up (come to think of it, he still is.)  After a successful college career, he went on to play in the NBA, becoming arguably the greatest basketball player who ever lived.  After he contracted the HIV virus, he was forced to retire prematurely.   Then he made it a mission to get involved with educating people on that disease stte, and also found success in the world of business.   

In fact, he became far more successful financially in business than he did in basketball.  Today he is a retired Hall of famer, father, entrepreneur, who finds the time to be a basketball commentator on nationally televised games.

 Whether or not he is aware of it consciously, Magic Johnson is someone who has always had a mission and a sense of purpose.   I suppose somewhere along the line, we all forget that he has to have a purpose to live as well.  Along all of his achievements, we suddenly overlook the fact that people thought he was going to die within a few years of his announcement that he had contracted the HIV virus. 

  It’s up to every person to find that sense of purpose and identity for him/herself, and that may change at various stages/ages of life. Moving outside the scope of dating, and “Pick up” and looking at the bigger picture, we must discover that sense of identiy and purpse for our own person. 



 Quite often, persons seeking dating advice, (Outside of lacking certain essential skills) also lack a sense of identity and purpose.  It’s even worse on self-help forums.  Lacking a solid sense of his/her identity, the individual turns to execcive new age self help guides, spirituality, various cults, and/or even organized religion (which can act like a cult.) 

 The next step in this predictable process is to hear that person constantly spout off quotes from his/her new found doctrine.  “New age guru X says that we should do this or that, and let go of our egos….” , or “Jesus recommends that we eat fat free bacon on the 3rd Friday past a full moon 3 times a year,” or “Leader Gremlac from planet  Zorax insists we pack our suitcases, drink the Koolaid and wait for the spaceship.”  

 Is there really a difference?

   They’re all searching for a sense of purpose and identity, except that they can’t ever step outside themselves long enough to see the situation from an outside perspective.  If they could see their own life in a 3rd perspective, if they could see a movie of their own life, they’d have glaring clarifications. 

 If you read the Blog and are part of the seduction community, then it’s important to understand that this sense of Purpose and Identity cannot come from dating someone or being a “Pick up artist” or other such nonsense.  It cannot come from trying to please someone else, (Being a good husband/wife, etc.) Those are noble and admirable goals but they’re not basis for an identity or purpose .

 Similarly, getting overly infatuated with “The Secret,” or “Leader Gremlac from Planet Zorax” or some other form of newfound newage flavor of the day quickfix answers is going to serve as only a temporary fix.  It’s going to be a spiritual version of stucco or silly putty designed to fill that hole in the center of your being which yearns to be complete.  No amount of dollars you shell out to any spiritual advisor will fill that hole until you figure out who the fuck you are, and what your purpose is.  That’s the way it goes and it remains for each one of us to discover our own passions. 

 As for me, I had to go through my own process of discovery and come to learn what my sense of identity and purpose is.  That’s a stoy for a different day, however.  Just as importantly perhaps, I also know what I am not.  I am not a guru, I am not a spiritual advisor, nor am I a pick up artist.   I am  someone who benefited from learning certain information and now I share that knowledge that helped me out with others.  I make a living doing it, but this job is not my identity. 

 Hence, if you stumbled upon this Blog somehow, you ought to assess your own situation and decide if that lack of identity/purpose exists within you.  This irrespective of age, gender, of financial worth.  If it can happen a successful athlete worth millions of dollars, it can happen to anyone.  Some people have never had a sense of identity or purpose to begin with, ever. One blog entry from me is not going to suddenly provide you with your sense identity or purpose.  It can, however, inspire you to look at yourself from a distance and help bring about an introspective moment.  It may help shift your focus to discovering what those elements are within your life. 

 Of course, all of this is NOT a substitute for having the core foundational skills.  You, everyone, needs to possess good conversational skills, the ability to be interesting &engaging, the ability to Flirt with women, and having basic social intelligence to know what to say when.  Otherwise, what you have is the guy I mentioned in a previous Blog entry, the man living on top of the Hollywood Hills (In an 8 million dollar mansion] banging hookers or dating the type of women who’d be more respectable if they were outright hookers. 

The latter set of skills is what I have chosen to assist guys with.  Partly because I am  extremely good at it, and the other part is because I’ve found most “Life coaches” and “Spiritual types” to be smog pretentious bastards.  So, my system rejects any notion of being labeled a guru, the way a used car sales man core being rejects honesty.   See, it all comes back to that question of identity again…. 

 In my observation, guys who take refuge in the community need to improve in two areas:

1.  Core Attributes & Social Skills

2.  Sense of Identity & Purpose

 Both areas must be addressed.  Completing one will not compensate for the other.  A person without proper social skills is not going to come across as particularly attractive.  Similiarly, a sense of identity and purpose creates a happier, more well adjusted individual.  That leads to a better lifestyle and an overall happier existence.  A happier person is a more attractive person.  It all ties together.


 A good place to jump start this process and attract more women is with my Ebook. Get it here:  Building Attraction Audio Course