Barry Kirkey & ripping on Seduction Community

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 My friend Barry Kirkey has been in town for the past week and we’ve been having a blast hanging out, catching up, and occasionally goofing on silly things!  Every so often, we’re reminded of all the weird advice we were told and sold by alleged gurus who claimed to be giant towers of information and authority on Dating and women.

Then I came across a certain  clip and well, we couldn’t help ourselves!  It’s fun to look at silly things sometimes!

First things first: If you read the Blog on a regular basis, you know about a handful of Dating Coaches whom I recommend!  You know these guys because I mentioned them often on this Blog.  They do good work!  They give good advice that is practical, has real world Application, and is not going to create a social misfit out of you.

Heck, a lot of these guys have personally experienced the poor advice.  They’ve done the extreme “Peacocking,” wore outlandish clothing, and looked foolish at times.  I’ve done it too!  Not proud of it, but I have done it. Barry had it even worse!

So with that thought in mind, let’s get to advice that blatantly sabotages your chances and serves as good humor.  Bear with me here and stay the course.  I know to some guys, this post is going to be the equivalent of telling a Born Again Christian that you don’t believe in Jesus.  There will be angry mobs waiting to go on lynch parties.  Be patient.

Someone forwarded me the following Youtube Clip, and it’s so damn intriguing, I had to share it with the rest of you.  It’s a perfect example of trying to force “Coolness” upon someone who is not quite there yet.  It’s an artificial contrived ATTEMPT to create a desired result that cannot possibly be attained through an inorganic forced process.

The result is a cluster fuck.

Let’s watch the Clip:

Look, it’s not that David D is trying to provide bad information.  It’s just that he does NOT know any better himself.   He has learned some good information that he has passed on, and in this video, he is out there taking stabs in the dark as to what he thinks what would personify a “Cool Guy.”  Well, I’ll share this with you.  I do have one or two acquaintances who actually were the popular athletic kids in high school  They were the proverbial “Cool guys” the rest of the guys wanted to be like.  Some of them are very outgoing and gregarious people.  They just pick and choose their spots and are not trying to impress anyone.

If the video you just watched actually works for you, then by all means, do it!  However, I can also share with you that, you’re going to look like a complete 100% Bona fide USDA Prime Douchebag if you do it.  So let’s examine this video.  Just to be clear, we are looking at WHO the video is asking you to become. (And let’s have a little fun in the process.)

At 00:46 in this clip, we see an example of a guy who is a bit over the top in his greeting.  It’s exaggerated to show effect.  In reality, if this was toned down just a bit, it’d work pretty well.  However, I am willing to let this one go.

00:55 mark of the video:  Example of someone who is timid, nervous and unsure of himself.  Fair enough.  It’s a fine example.

1:02 mark of the clip:  Douchebag!    Douche, Douche, Douche!  How many ways can you say it?  Let me count the ways. Imagine this poor woman, working at tedious job for 7 dollars an hour at Starbuck’s, shoveling Grande Lattes in people’s face all day, trying to get through the current heat wave as espresso steam is blowing at her face having to see this idiot.  She is thinking “Great, I didn’t have enough problems working this job, and now I have to get the pompous treatment from this asshole.”

It’s not that cool!

1 minute 17 seconds:  Whoa!  I didn’t think it was possible, but a bigger douchebag than the part in 1:02.

The ever so try hard trying to be so uber cool, it hurts!  Somewhere in the background, they ought to play that cheesy song, “I am toooo sexxyy for this shirt, sooooo sexy it hurts.  And I am too sexy for cocky/funny, too sexy for cocky funny……” If this was Sacha Baron Cohen’s Borat character practicing to be cool in a comedy skit, I’d buy it!  I would have thought it was funny!  Right after he bought that Hummer with the “Pussy Magnet” attached to it.

Sadly, I don’t think David DeAngelo is doing a Borat Skit.  He actually means it.

This is an inadvertent and unintentionally funny example of guys trying too hard to be too cool.  Certainly, there are guys who are standoffish or snobby and that works for them.  They’ve had a lifetime of practice becoming that way.  For someone who is naturally outgoing to try to emulate the behavior of a douchebag is a losing proposition.

The majority of guys who seek dating advice are intellectual smart guys.  They could be even referred to as somewhat “Nerdy” or “Brainiacs” in high school.  However, on the journey to becoming cool, they take a wrong turn by seeing the advice above.

The journey to becoming cooler is to be less needy, more confident in your demeanor, equipped with better social intelligence (to know WHEN to be very friendly and WHEN to be a bit more reserved.) That road is filled with a few bumps but that’s part of the process.

However, TRYING to emulate the behavior of a douche bag means that you’re still TRYING to be cool. That is still not even close to cool.  The very element of not caring too much about what people think has dissipated and evaporated while being replaced by something that was even less cool than what the person started with.

It’s less cool because it’s even trying harder to impress people.  Instead of being needy with an over top approval seeking behavior, it attempts to chase approval through a smirk with and wannabe scumbag demeanor.  The amazing thing about this video is that it’s living testimony that you can make 10s of millions of dollars and still not get over the fact that you were not part of the cool gang in high school.  I know it’s hard, but at some point, you have to let that shit go.

The sort of guy DD is talking about reminds of a dude in my apartment complex.  He’d walk by, snap his head back, and whisper “What’s up.”  We collectively referred to him as the “Douchbag,” and that included some of the attractive girls in the building.  People laughed at his wannabe behavior.   Of course, you can take do your own test. Invite a bunch of attractive girls to watch this video of trying to be cool!

Barry and I enjoyed watching it. His girlfriend was amused for a second and then horrified afterwards.  “These are the guys who teach dating skills?” She wanted to know.   What kind of guys are they creating out there?

It sort of reminds me of an Aussie Pal who was trying to describe the word “Tosser.”  It’s someone who thinks he is cool, but he is the ONLY one in the world who thinks that.  Depending where you live, the verbiage may change, a Wanker in the UK, a Tosser in Australia, Scharfsackel in Switzerland, a Wixer in German, a jerkoff on the East Coast of the United States.  .. But the behavior is still the same.  I don’t claim to be an uber cool guy, but I think I can spot the obvious signs of a jerkoff.   Please don’t emulate the video.

Oh, and the rest of the video is great if you’re an insomniac and who is out of his beloved Ambien prescription.  Put a pillow on your computer desk in case you lose consciousness in a rapid manner.

If there is anything you take away from the post, it’s that if you think you could use being a bit more cool, develop more social intelligence, and care LESS about what people think of you.  The latter is probably something most of us have to work on at various points in life.  Well, that and you ought to be careful who your heroes are, I suppose.