Pros & Cons of Texting in Dating

Texting by itself has taken on its own culture in the last 10 years.  On the one hand, it can be fun, a good tool to use to flirt, and prevents you from falling asleep in boring corporate office meetings.  Sneaking your phone under the desk to text your friends (Or ANYONE) just to keep from wanting to scream is a skill onto itself.

 Texting can also be used to flirt with someone while you’re somewhat bored sitting around at a doctor’s office stacked with shitty golf & fishing magazines , behind a red light in heavy traffic, or at a club where you’re about to vomit from another song from Lady gaga

I have had both experiences with it:

     A. It can keep things warm, keep a somewhat sexual vibe going by flirting with the occasional texting exchange, and schedule casual meet ups.

    B. Things go stale because it creates a pseudo-impersonal/virtual vibe where you’re not chatting, but just exchanging way too many texts back and forth. 

 While there Is a practical functionality to texting as well as a good tool for flirting, It can also lead you down a stray path.  This article Is not so much about how to flirt via text, but more so about not getting too sucked Into a text-relationship.   

 Sometimes too much texting can also create a sort of stalemate at times where you’re not making progress.  You go back and forth, but can’t seem to arrange a proper meeting, or  you have cute texts going back and forth but then start wondering who is going to be the FIRST person to stop

The little nuances can be enough to fill an entire episode of  ”Seinfeld, “  or perhaps  “Curb Your Enthusiasm” currently.  (This is where Larry David would be ranting, “Hey, what’s deal? I just lost the Texting faceoff.  Clearly, that last text was one too many.  Some sort of Texting protocols were breached” )

 In my experience, and I think it’s common sense, it’s far easier to get a girl to meet you for a FIRST date if you can talk to her for 15 to 20 minutes than texting back and forth incessantly.  (After the first date, dynamics change obviously.)

 After a 15 minute conversation where you’re having banter and sharing witty repartee, you’re going to find it quite a natural transition to meet up in person for more fun. 

 If you’re constantly texting, sometimes you go down this weird path of exchanging electronic messages where you’re locked into this weird impersonal relationship.  At that point, it’s more difficult to get the person to meet you in person, or even to get a phone called established.

 Now, if you have trouble maintaining decent conversation on the phone, then maybe a 20 minute convo isn’t for you.  I just hope that you’re able to sustain that 20-minute conversation on the actual date, if or when you do meet her in person.

The issue goes both ways.  I’ve heaven heard complaints from girls about “How come guys can’t call anymore?  What’s the deal with asking me out on a text?”

The point really home when at one point I met a girl for a date, and I was curious about why she was giggly. She said, “I was surprised you didn’t text me. No one really calls anymore….”

 Well, all that texting sort of resembles the following cartoon.  It’ll resonate with a  lot of people because the dynamics that are spoofed are far too common.  One of my acquaintances was so inspired by this satirical cartoon, he actually disabled the text function on his cell phone.  Maybe it’s not a bad idea.  No more texting for a while, he said! 

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 If you’ve hit the bars and clubs often, you’ll really relate to the cartoon you just watched, unfortunately.

 In retrospect, I realized that sometimes I’m the culprit.  I start the texting process with nonchalant little notes of texts, and that opens a whole new can of worms.  That’s the annoying text-relationship that can be a waste of time.  I like to avoid that.

As a result, I had to create the “Cameron Ladder of Communication”.  I’ll get to that in the next post.